"In short, douchebags may be temporarily orange."

Unless one is a Prompa in the pre-purple stage.


"But boobies are forever."

Indeed.
 

Cute couple....gaaaak!

But a coupld of what?
 

Always good to see the 30 year old making out with a 16 year old. Priceless!!!!!!!!
 

Oh fair skinned Minerva, where will you go when Logan takes his porkchop sideburns questing in his blue and yellow spandex suit?
 

She is a whiter shade of pale alright.
 

VCR/TV combos forever!!!
 

I would pee in her warm doughy butt.
 

She is so white her dander looks like pepper on her skin.

His TV is so small ants won't watch it.
 

taking photos of yourself is the apex of narcissism... & douchey as all get out!



unless looking for pimples on your taint
 

Yeah honey, take that photo; you go ahead and be soooo proud of who you let fondle you after 2 wine coolers.

They'll never know he's your cousin. The simple one at that.
 

She is so pale that her doctor doesn't have to take X-rays to see her insides.
 

She's so pale a lightbulb gives her a sunburn.
 

Pale=untanned=smooth and soft as a teenager. So suck it, tan fans. Never mind the cancer, either.

I have no idea what is going on here. Apparently she likes big bellies and small TVs.
 

Smitty earns a living tossing midgets and mud-wrestling kangaroos.

He's just sharpening his skills for when he joins the WWE.

Live the dream Smitty, live the dream brah.
 

Let's discuss the douchiness that is sideburns/beard with bald head...
 

@ Medusa

I like the vampira look. I dated a porcelain princess in college that was so pale I couldn't find the maps of Hawaii I'd make on her stomach. And back. And forehead. And ankle.

I had a lot more vitamin E in me back then.
 

@DB1

"We rescramble spatiality to form kinetic sub-space where we reform as culturally coded and branded entertainment specters."

*silent clapping*, that is physics for poets. I was a besmirched by the image. However, after much contemplation I realized that what you were describing with words was captured in image by a beloved artist and mathematician - M.C. Escher.

Keep up the education on the hyperbole that is MySpace and Douchebaggery.

Print Gallery, MC Escher, 1956
http://www.mcescher.com/Gallery/recogn-bmp/LW410.jpg

DJ
 

As big George returns from his try-out at the leprechaun school, he's greeted with an obligatory "so sorry" kiss by his elfin girlfriend who was sad to learn that Georgie was too tall, too fat, and too goofy looking to make it as as a mythical sprite.
 

Taken at face value there are obvious winners and losers in this scene

- Winners -

- Fat choads with shitty ideas about hair choice , facial and cranium, actually being douche enough to score a minor hott

- People that stayed out of the home buying shenanigans of the last two years and stayed in that $275/mo. 1 bedroom apartment

- K Mart's elctronics section

- Denny's



- Losers -

- This gal's parents

- People that have to follow this guy in the apartment's laundry room

- Anyone that has to endure self-portraits of ugly mofo's , basically , us

- Cromagnons everywhere
 

@ Vin douchal

How's the weather there in Maaaaaaaasuhchusetts? What part are you from?

My guess is ... mmmmmmmmmmmmmm ...Worcester?
 

That chick is so pale, I could sell the closeups of our ass-capades in the inter-racial section.
 

damn right I could.
 

@ Plinky

I left that liberal , Kennedy felating communist state years ago. I go back to visit the family, eat clams and check out the Fens often.

No sir, it's sunny Southern California for me.

When I was about 14, I had just spent 1 1/2 hours shovelling snow in the driveway for the pop's glass truck after he woke me at 4:30 A.M. with , " HEY ! Go shovel the drive so I can go to work!" on a New Year's Day....

When finished peeling off layer and layer of winter garb, I sat down to watch the Rose Bowl parade/football game. I noticed the guys wearing t-shirts and shorts and the mirad of hot babes from the cheerleaders to the fans dressed for nice weather.

At that point my mind was made up. Goodbye Cape Cod, hello L.A.
 

@ Vin douchal

Suck on it pal. You take your pristine LA weather and hot babes and year-round golf and ram it up your arse.


I'm not jealous or anything.
 

I am forced to repeat this question like a buddhist mantra -
if a hottie and a douchebag meet and there is no camera to record it, do they get aroused?

It is the "what is the sound of one hand clapping" of the modern era.
 

@ darksock 12:35

Eat more avocados. you'll thank me later.

And what's the fun of seeing your wake of destruction after the lovin'? It's funnier when she lies down, you throw your arm over her and your thumb goes right into a tepid, semi-congealed glob of your own spoo. Sweet, sweet revenge.
 

@ Medusa

OK young lady spill the beans. What do avocados do for a guy?
 

@ Plinky

nuthin'... she just owns avocado futures
 

That guys sideburns just kicked my ass.

I'm thinking from another angle...like head on, she might not be so attractive.
 

@ creature

Do you think medusa was saying her thing-thing-thangy tastes like an avocado?


If that's the case I'm gonna have to get me some guacamole right quick.
 

@ plinky

Ew. Actually it tastes like sweet rosebuds that Grace Kelly sucked on. But enough of that. Actually, about the avocados--it's not some wives-tale BS,like eating oysters makes you rock hard all night long. Sock was correct in correlating vitamin E with, uh, output. Basically, vitamin E, which is in super-high concentrations in Avocados, is a lubricant (huh huh) for your veins. It makes the walls of the vessels more elastic and supple, allowing for greater expansion, which means a [slightly] bigger and firmer pistola. Not to mention that the vitamin complexes slick up the veins, allowing the blood to move faster, which shortens the recovery time between episodes. Also, with the better circulation in the area, you increase production and you can possibly blow bigger loads.

Now, this doesn't mean go out and buy a wheelbarrow full of avocadoes. It does you no good to eat one daily and then wash it down in cheap beer and sit on the couch smoking cigarettes and waiting to turn into Johnny Wadd. Really, a moderate diet, exercise, quitting smoking and drinking less will give drastic results if things aren't going well to begin with. If things are already decent, then adding foods high in E will help you out more, Salmon, raw nuts and olives/olive oil are good too. I've seen fat, impotent slobs go to raging jackhammers by getting in shape and eating well. But a good start is introducing some nice stuff like avocadoes.

Another benefit: The vitamins increase joint health and flexibility which means...Kama Sutra time, baby!

Dr. Oblongata will be happy to answer any other health related questions you may have.
 

@ plinyk again

OMG it just hit me, after trying to figure it out since you got rid of the shrimp--is that Gary Gnu from The Great Space Coaster in your avatar?
 

@ Plinky

let's hope not.... us creatures feed on flesh!



& don't go overboard on the avos, you're already lookin' mighty green
 

DB1, Please remove pic. Notta douche, notta hott. Pretty simple. Just two ugly, dumb people kissing.
 

@ Medusa

You're either a sex therapist, a doctor, a sex fiend or all the above. God bless you.


Yes my avatar is Gary Gnu.
I will not give the full explanation as to why I have Gary as my avatar, but let's just say he sprung up as topic of conversation at 4am in a Hartley King's restaurant on the outskirts of Pittsburgh, PA and being in such an inebriated state it was just about the funniest out-of-the-blue reference ever made.

We love Gary, he's a fucking nut. And he used to bang all the female cast members on that horrific childrens' show.
 

Am I the only one that thinks the pictures that followed this shot were entirely pornographic in nature? I'm surprised that we don't see more douche porn.

I'm actually in competition with a friend of mine to find a statement or picture that will kill one of us*. I believe that douche porn may be that picture.

* It all started the day she said "Jar Jar Binks is a French Canadian" and my blood pressure went up so fast that I heard my ears pop - I almost had a stroke. Yes, we are strange people.
 

She's so pale she menstruates 2% milk.
 

'cause no Gnus is good Gnus with Gary ... Gnu!

Love it. Still say that whenever I have another non-drama week.
 

She's so pale she has to buy brown toilet paper
 

She’s so pale, she shits icicles.
 

She’s so pale, ghosts need infrared goggles to see her.
 

She’s so pale she pees Elmer’s Glue®.
 

This picture was the alternate cover to Social Distortion's: White Light, White Heat, White Trash, album.
 

She’s so pale she's never seen her shadow.
 

She's so pale she uses white out for eye liner
 

She’s so pale, albino’s need to wear UV sunglasses in her presence.
 

This girl’s pigment has called in tardy for 7,300 days and counting.
 

she's so pale she makes white gold look like wrought iron
 

she's so pale she makes snow look like tar
 

She’s so pale, Charlie Weis mistook her for a jar of mayo...

... he ate her, then regurgitated her... then ate her again for four years straight while developing a highly uncoordinated football team.
 

She’s so pale she gets sunburned while standing in an igloo… covered in a lead blanket… in the middle of winter.
 

She's so pale she makes cocaine look like mexican black
 

And aponst the third day, God createdst woman out of the chalk dust of the firmament; and He saw that it was pale, and He wast pleased. - Genesis 1:27 (King Douchious IV translation)
 

She's so pale she stands at harbour entrances at night to attract wayward ships
 

She’s so pale, that when she’s refracted through a prism, she shows up as lightening.
 

she's so pale she refracts light
 

damn you Croosh...

she's so pale they use her blood in Pepsodent
 

@Creatch 10:13pm

Great SC Trojan Minds...
 

She's so pale Samurai Scrote straps her to the handlebars of his motorcycle for the Baja 1000
 

She’s so pale, Powder wears her skin when he wants to be noticed in public.
 

She’s so pale, pastel colors went out of business when she started pawning off her saliva.
 

thanks Crucial

She's so pale she makes the Rose Queen look like a tar baby

... Roses in our future... Brah!
 

She’s so pale, cadavars must pay her royalties.
 

She's so pale she washes off pure
 

She's so pale, white roses wilt in her presence...

... ummm, I think I'm tapped out.

And drunk as all hell.

BTW: Thank you Oregon State for choking up a big one.

I will be there in person to root on my beloved Trojans!!

Fight on!
 

She's so pale that when she stands next to snow leopards they look like panthers
 

She's so pale talcum powder makes her look dirty



.... the Conquest goes on Crucial...

Dunt Dunt, Dunt Dunt... Baroo Baroo!
 

I dunno, I always root for the fat guy..
 

well most hotties who have made an appearance on HCwDB have probably willingly photographed their very own desecration at the hands of douchebags. but to really see a hottie holding the camera for this occasion brings society to new lows. new lows, i say.
 

Sleep? With this buzz, I might as well add:

Although Supreme Virgin Hærgüd Marshall implored each of his chin straps to hold down his helmet in the case of a surprise first kiss encounter with Änya; he grew exponentially disappointed as each follicle left his skull…

… knowing the throbbing gristle in his checkered pants had indeed, been checked-mate!
 

You only THINK she's pale because she is wearing pitch goth black which just makes her APPEAR pale.

It's all relative.

He has the orange arms, and the build, of a stevedore.

Nottadouche, nottaBleeth, and people have been doing the camera-thing even before Polaroids hit the scene. Not new.
 

Thanks USC for whomping ND, and pray that will be the tipping point for firing coach Weiss.
 

Fork in pig. Weis is done Woop-Di; and the Tojans are more than glad to lay the whoop down. The BCS is now in anarchy mode.

Bring on the play-off mode!



Cheers my nocturnal pal!
 

Seriously ... How in the fuck did this happen? Your talking about some serious bending of the space time continum here. Where is the picture from? The event horizon of a black hole?
 

Throbbing Gristle is a so-so avant garde noise band btw
 

She's so pale her farts stain her flesh
 

She's so pale she sweats bleach
 

She's so pale that the Home Depot paint counter uses her skin to calibrate their instruments.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

She's so pale that when KKK members see her, they start lynching themselves.
 

@ plinky 8:50

You're either a [wannabe] sex therapist, a [wannabe] doctor, a sex fiend [absolute] or all the above [I wish]. God bless you [he sure did. On the other hand, it's a curse.].
 

That is (in spite of it's obvious setup) hands down, the sweetest photo I've seen on here. The doucherry is only mild, even if the facial hair sculpting isn't.

It actually brought a slightly sweet smile to face.