Hot Chicks with Douchebags: Caption This Pic

I'm with stupid.

# posted by

Neil : 7:08 AM

Ned kindly left directions to where the surgeon should begin cutting for his triple bypass.

# posted by

bcs : 7:13 AM

Duuuuuuuuuuuuude.Yeaaaaaaaaaah.I got the greatest idea ever. I'll shave an arrow into my chest hair so horse toothed chicks will overlook all of my obvious flaws that are too numerous to mention at this juncture.Raaaaaaaad.

# posted by

johnny : 7:16 AM

Scungilli Sammy got tired of yelling "Yo, check this out" in noisy nightclubs.

# posted by

scrotunda : 7:16 AM

Just in case NASA was having trouble finding my big, fat gut from space...here you go.

# posted by

The Desert Douchehunter : 7:17 AM

That shirt...that beautiful, beautiful shirt... scroteolf, with your shirt so bright, won't you guide my slegh tonight?

# posted by

The Desert Douchehunter : 7:20 AM

This post has been removed by the author.

# posted by

The Desert Douchehunter : 7:21 AM

Pruitt tried to make it easier for the hotts to find his nonexistent cock, obscured by a lard tube. "It's down there, sugar. If you really want it, you'll see it. Just like the Smurfs."

# posted by

Pencil Doucher : 7:24 AM

Bam Bam Billy used clippers to make it easier for the prostitutes to locate his penis.

# posted by

bcs : 7:24 AM

I'm with tiny

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:24 AM

@pencil lol

# posted by

bcs : 7:24 AM

Recognition dawning on her face, Jillian feels the fur arrowed trainwreck she's been paid to pose with not only spill beer down her back, but try to hump her thigh with a pencil in his pocket. A short pencil. It's a gnawed-on little stub, actually.

# posted by

I am Jack's shaved armpit : 7:25 AM

Having never been touched by a woman that wasn't his family, Gordy's chest hair manifest his excitement by forming a cartoon-like arrow that would hopefully lead her, with the utmost subtlety, to his cock.
It didnt work on his cousin, either.

# posted by

douchey decimal system : 7:28 AM

Cartman - "Well, i'm out guys. If that's what's cool now, i think i'm done. I no longer have any connection to this world. I'm gonna go home and kill myself."

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:32 AM

Maybe he should take some of that chest hair and put it on his head

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:34 AM

"Man of few words"

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:35 AM

Billy Corgan, crushed by the failure of Smashing Pumpkins 2.0, decided to go out like Elvis.

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:36 AM

As Jeffery Dahmer looks on eagerly from the background, his younger sister Debbie hopes to lure home the ultimate prize.

# posted by

douchey decimal system : 7:36 AM

Gurn learned a hard lesson about passing out face-down in an orgy, covered in KY jelly, over by the pube shaving station.

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:38 AM

Working girls can locate a penis without fucking directions. Asshole.

# posted by

massengill : 7:39 AM

"Whether 'tis douchier in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous ineptitude, in the macho department, Or to take chestal hair against a sea of Bleeths,
And by opposing screw them? To scroate: to groove a dance floor .."

w/ apologies to W Shakespeare

# posted by

Vin Douchal : 7:39 AM

The pubic lice formed their formidable battle phalanx and began their relentless assault on Gurn Blanston's asshole.

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:40 AM

After stealing the leadsinger to Fine Young Cannibals girlfriend, Gordy was sure he wouldnt need the map he'd left himself to find his miniscule penis for end-of-the-night drunken masturbation.

# posted by

douchey decimal system : 7:40 AM

'Nuff said... Douche above and below!

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:41 AM

You are here. And you will regret it in the morning.

# posted by

massengill : 7:41 AM

Bruno thought the directions he shaved into his chest would be clear, but sadly, Sandy McLeopardboobs was still too stupid to figure it out.

# posted by

Mr. White : 7:41 AM

Due to the economic downturn, Olaf was unable to afford a real GPS. So he had to resort to alternative methods of telling which way was south.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:41 AM

Looks like Ernie got his Preparation H mixed up with his tube of Rogaine again...

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:41 AM

And with a cacaphony of screams and panic barely audible to the human ear, Gurn's pubes fled north away from the boggy stench of his egg salad farts.

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:43 AM

fat, bald, and stupid is no way to go through life son.

# posted by

pfah : 7:44 AM

his shirt is from a new collection by mr. white.

it's called 'Urine Da Money Threads'.

sorry.

# posted by

pfah : 7:45 AM

The unique design to the brown douche-cluse spider's chest mane allowed objects to be more easily entangled: Dungeons and Dragons necklaces, stuffed crust pizza, and occasionally, bra straps.

# posted by

Mountain Douche : 7:46 AM

it would appear that his toupé has taken refuge beneath her boobies.

# posted by

pfah : 7:46 AM

I can't believe it...
Wooly Willy is real?

And a douchebag?

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:47 AM

$100 says he smells like stale beer and boiled egg farts.

# posted by

pfah : 7:47 AM

$100 says his belly button looks like an inverted head of cabbage.

# posted by

pfah : 7:50 AM

$100 says his nipples look like pepperoni slices.

# posted by

pfah : 7:50 AM

$100 says he lives in his mother's basement like us.

# posted by

pfah : 7:51 AM

Cheetarah's look of terror shows as she uses all of her hottie willpower to avoid the street sign that Bob (Bald Old Bag) had instructed "Lupe" - the small Latino boy at the hair salon - to wax around so everyone will know where the hair from his head went.

# posted by

Dunkin Scrotenuts : 7:51 AM

"Yeah, we wuz dumpsta-divin' behind Donkey Douche's house an' we found dis shirt Darlene cut into dis bra, and some bathrobe wif "property of Mr. White" wrote on it widda Sharpie."

Hey, you smell pee? I keep smellin' old pee..."

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:52 AM

fortunately, Gurt was prepared for any side-effects from consuming Big Ego.

# posted by

Clementine of Cappadoucha : 7:52 AM

$100 says he's a pederast and served 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight year old.

# posted by

pfah : 7:53 AM

insert catheter here.

# posted by

Steve Zodiac : 7:56 AM

"My bro Droopy ain't winnin' no Douchies widout my help!"

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 7:57 AM

"Coach! Does the beer and the silk shirt make my mansculpting look stupid?"

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 7:58 AM

The Rare Clear Cup spoke to him: shave your chest hair. Take a road trip to Vegas. Compete for Douche of the week - Because YOU'RE A CONTENDER!!!

# posted by

Steve Zodiac : 7:59 AM

"Well lookie here, just past the snake in the 'grass'.....
One of these days, you'll let me tap dat ass!"

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 7:59 AM

Having shave an arrow in his chest, he hoped to distract the ladies from his fat bald head.

# posted by

scumbag619 : 8:03 AM

Looks like his stock is falling on the NasDouche Index

# posted by

elastic snap hole of the love bear : 8:04 AM

Senator Blutarsky's office declined comment.

# posted by

Amanda : 8:06 AM

Spurs Fan really let himself go after the verbal thrashing he received on HCwDB.

# posted by

bcs : 8:07 AM

I'll have you basement-dwellin' virgins know that at Mr. White's Chez Sexy, we use the most advanced disinfectants and detergents available. We would never let something so gauche as a urine-soaked shirt to leave the premises.

That said, we do have some unfortunate stains on some of the "gear" Medusa loaned us.

# posted by

Mr. White : 8:10 AM

After losing his wife and career thanks to Bea Arthur, Pfah stopped taking care of himself and became the very thing he despised the most...a big fat douchebag.

# posted by

bcs : 8:10 AM

"Where does it burn?
Ohhh..."

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:13 AM

Shirley smiled nervously at the thought of what fun lay in store as she avoided the 150,000 ticks on Larry's chest who organised and are stylishly marching southward to lunch on his nads. Larry is too drunk to notice.

# posted by

Steve Zodiac : 8:15 AM

@bcs....and good morning to you too sir.

# posted by

pfah : 8:16 AM

Noah Farley would always live in the shadow of his brother Chris.

# posted by

bcs : 8:17 AM

lol morning sweetheart. sorry bout your seahawks...

# posted by

bcs : 8:18 AM

Boris hasn't seen below his belly-bag since 1984. His ingenious costume ensures he will get the most out of his purchased date, Brenda.

# posted by

Orel Douchehiser : 8:21 AM

I've got your Douchie, right here!

# posted by

Ronald McDouchenald : 8:24 AM

As a young child, Bruno suffered from an unfortunate pair of illnesses: chicken pox and obsessive-compulsive disorder. He tried to heed his mother's injunctions not to pick at the blisters, but he couldn't resist, and the resulting scar pattern would haunt him for the rest of his life.

# posted by

Mr. White : 8:25 AM

Chester the molester reunites with one of his first "tickle friends" who, for some bizarre reason, turns out to be a raging whore with men issues. Go figure.

# posted by

plinky : 8:26 AM

I am fucking speechless. This is high quality scrotery.

I wonder how much a piece of ass like that goes for these days. She must have doubled her hourly rate as soon as she saw this dingleberry.

# posted by

Dead End : 8:26 AM

Yanno, compared to this dude, I'm pretty flippin sexy.

# posted by

Mike : 8:30 AM

i gotta admit, i think this dude is pretty cool.

# posted by

bcs : 8:31 AM

Frustrated by years of lecturing to his students, most of whom were douchebag scions of the nouveau riche, Professor McCormick decided to communicate his theories about the decline of American empire with a visual that was both symbolic and repugnant.

# posted by

Mr. White : 8:31 AM

I'm with pendejo

# posted by

Vin Douchal : 8:31 AM

"To piss, lift flap"

# posted by

Rocky_Choad : 8:32 AM

This way for IQ.

# posted by

Gaijindouche : 8:32 AM

In the above photo, Larry Phuqooit is seen wearing the sacred pee shirt from the Zamboni tribe of Guatemala. He was awarded this rare honour when he took off his shirt while drinking at a cantina in Rio Muerto, Guatemala. People noticed the geometric arrangement of chest hair, which is locally known as "el Marco del Duchabolsa". The Chief's daughter, Carmelita, here seen in her jaguar fur trimmed clothes, was happy, yet nervous, to be seen near Larry. Five minutes after this picture was taken, Larry was chopped into long pig and fried up with some onions.

# posted by

Steve Zodiac : 8:33 AM

Directly below and out of frame, Maurice's appendectomy scar spelled out, "Dickless"

# posted by

Vin Douchal : 8:33 AM

Boy, the Mafia sure has gotten lax on it's public image.
Chubby Cheeks Pichenza looks more like a balloon in a Gay Pride parade than he does a "collector" for bookies.

# posted by

plinky : 8:37 AM

@bcs...dude, my Seahawks are at an all time low. i have lost all interest in the 2008 NFL Season. looking forward to the draft.

# posted by

pfah : 8:39 AM

you think this pic is what flyteeth really looks like?

pfah is that your wife in your avatar?

# posted by

bcs : 8:42 AM

It's the popular Russian detective TV show "Kojakov".

# posted by

DarkSock : 8:44 AM

@bcs...yep. that's my girl.

# posted by

pfah : 8:44 AM

Gurn's absorptive terry-cloth robe absorbs most of the keytones he sweats out every day. He wrings it out everynight and sells the drippings to Frito-Lay as Olestra.

Pfah's wife suffers from foreshortening. It can be cured by handing the camera to Elijah Wood, Tobey Maguire or Topher Grace.

# posted by

DarkSock : 8:47 AM

Where's the fromunda?

# posted by

massengill : 8:47 AM

So on MSNBC there's this headline:

"BREAKING NEWS: SEC accuses Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban of insider trading".

Mark Cuban was called out as a major douchebag on HCwDB by DB1 last January. You heard it hear first, folks.

BWAHAHAHAHAHHHHH!

# posted by

DarkSock : 8:54 AM

-

CAN YOU SPOT THE RICH GUY?

-

ASvB

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 8:54 AM

This guy is so tough he buys underwear with the shit stains already on them.

# posted by

plinky : 8:54 AM

How about just "Wow"
cuz that shit leaves me speechless

# posted by

matt in richmond : 8:56 AM

@darksock

No shit? But really is that surprising to anyone?

# posted by

plinky : 8:56 AM

simply "Wow"

cuz that shit leaves me at a loss for words

# posted by

matt in VA : 8:57 AM

Sam got tired of shaving his pubes in order to find his weenie, so he shaved a reminder of where to find it into his chest instead.

AV

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:14 AM

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life son....also with an arrow manscaped onto your body, while wearing a ridiculous sunburst shirt, and dragon bling isn't good either. Son.

Dean Wormer

# posted by

Douchelexic : 9:16 AM

Some magnetized boots on Cloney Soprano could help the Inuit Eskimos find the North Pole in even the harshest blizzard.

# posted by

Zen Wizard : 9:19 AM

Karen grinned from ear to ear as she pointed out her artistic prowess with the Forever Free Wet/Dry hair removal device she bought on QVC.

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 9:35 AM

Olaf, a closet gay with a 3rd grade education, was never told the birds and the bees and just assumed the belly button to be the place for cock insertion, and after the usual back door attempts, he needed to make it clear: fuck me in the bellybutton, fuck me in the bellybutton.

# posted by

Dennis Bagger : 9:41 AM

stick a lightbulb in his mouth and he's Uncle Fester. But the main problem he's got is that the hairy arrow is directing your attention to his festering herpes sores and bodycrab ranch.

# posted by

Doucheland Uber Alles : 9:47 AM

Darksock @8:44AM "Kojakov"

Priceless.

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 9:47 AM

Graboukawitz proudly displayed his chest toupee made out of vintage merkins purchased at the 99 Cent thrift store

# posted by

Vin Douchal : 9:49 AM

...No pointed comments necessary to fully describe THIS douchebag!

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 9:50 AM

LOL Darksock wins hands down. But I'll take a shot.

"Kelly, still recovering from an arrow through her brain, is still having problems distinguishing between basic shapes and smells."

# posted by

Mr. Biggs : 9:52 AM

Anchor's A'weigh, er, AWAY!

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 9:55 AM

Puberty was not kind to Oblio.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:57 AM

Famous yellow birds...

Tweety Bird
Big Bird
Turd Bird

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 10:00 AM

"I shot an arrow into the air,
And it landed, I know not where."

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 10:07 AM

Having been unable to see his own genitals for more than a decade now, Bald Sal decided it was best to map his way out so he wouldn't get lost again.

# posted by

Martin Behaim : 10:11 AM

"You should see his BACK," grinned Karen, "..it has a negative-space arrow pointing to his butt!"

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 10:13 AM

"I do it one way, and one way ONLY."

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 10:17 AM

An occasional chick like Karen doesn't stop Roger from letting the guys know he's on the "down low."

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 10:22 AM

"Warning: Contents below under pressure and highly toxic. Do not excite or place near sources of hots as combustion may occur."

# posted by

Ashfish : 10:22 AM

Gina lost a bet with her friend and was forced to pose with the winner from the "Who Looks Stupidest in Totally Passe Sunglasses and Other Cringe-Inducing Fashion Accessories" Contest - you can see the fear on her face.

# posted by

Steve L. : 10:24 AM

"Fashion Tip # 23: The key to any douche's wardrobe is to wear colors that will blend in with the drinks that are thrown at you for flashing a hot your hair arrow and your blindingly white gut. This shirt is a great example of 'Bud Light' yellow."

# posted by

Ashfish : 10:28 AM

"This way to hairy balls!"

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 10:28 AM

When you let your fingers do the walking through the Yellow Pages, you can come up with some mighty strange things.

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 10:30 AM

"If you see this man, kill him."

# posted by

Bing : 10:31 AM

Man - it's so small, I need this to help me find it. Otherwise, I pee on my shoes.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:36 AM

Someone keeps stealing the One-Way street signs in the Castro, so the City has gotten creative in replacing them with live models.

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 10:41 AM

Looks like Fat Joe's career took a turn for the worst. What state of mind would this turd have to be in to shave his chest like that. He MUST have lost a bet, no other explanation.

# posted by

Buck Nasty : 10:50 AM

Sporting his mother's coolest blouse and shades, Gordy still sometimes felt like a failure at the bar and put his head down. It was then that his hair-row came in handy to remind him that he did in fact have a dick down there, at which point he would man up and find a woman. The drunkest woman that could stand up.

# posted by

douchey decimal system : 10:59 AM

Kyle Gass finally broke down and realized his dream of playing rhythm guitar for Nickelback.

Nickelback gets all the ladiez.

# posted by

Mike : 11:01 AM

Look out below!

# posted by

massengill : 11:12 AM

He ought have gone for the up and down arrows à la "The Man, The Legend" shirts.

And he should carry a stack of barf bags.

# posted by

massengill : 11:14 AM

Oh... my... god...

# posted by

Lifeguard : 11:20 AM

a hairrowing experience.

# posted by

Douchelexic : 11:34 AM

Disappointed at the lack of CIA intelligence, Butterbean's hairy brother attempts an overt signal to Osama Bin Laden's hideout.

# posted by

Don't Bring Me Dowwwwwn, Douche! : 11:36 AM

After making it through the latest installment of the Rock of Love series to the final challenge, Katie ran through the whole obstacle course only to be confronted with this last test.

# posted by

douchey decimal system : 11:49 AM

Wondering where that smell is coming from?

# posted by

partypooper : 11:59 AM

Baby on board

# posted by

douchetoevsky : 12:02 PM

This post has been removed by the author.

# posted by

douchetoevsky : 12:02 PM

This is actually the villain in the next Austin Powers Movie: Palebelly.
" Hey everybody! I have a arrow on my belly, isn't that vierd?"

# posted by

partypooper : 12:07 PM

Arrow indicates: Sign Below for Tenacious D tickets.

Kyle Gass douche

# posted by

Turner and Douche : 12:16 PM

@ Gurn Blanston

ha ha!

@ Senator Blutarsky

HA HA HA!

I get these jokes cuz I'm old! WHEEEEE!

# posted by

Baron Von Goolo : 12:27 PM

"There is no God." thought the guy standing alone behind them.

# posted by

Baron Von Goolo : 12:29 PM

Olaf was very upfront about his genital warts.

# posted by

Baron Von Goolo : 12:31 PM

It's hard to compensate for being built like a stack of biscuits rolled in cat hair, but Gurn made the best of it.

# posted by

Baron Von Goolo : 12:38 PM

"That's where the butter comes out!"

# posted by

Baron Von Goolo : 12:38 PM

"This one time at band camp we shaved the camp councilors chest like an arrow...it was so cool"

# posted by

Anonymous : 12:59 PM

LOL! @ Goolo 12:38

stack of biscuits = lunch shot out nose

# posted by

Vin Douchal : 1:09 PM

Girl in leopard top's eyes are saying:

"For fuck's SAKE Darlene, how long does it take to snap a fucking picture?"

# posted by

elastic snap hole of the love bear : 1:26 PM

This is the vision of his future Hunter S. Thompson had moments before he reached for his pistol.

too soon?

# posted by

blinded by the light dressed up like a douche : 1:52 PM

he's got a happy arrow, for a trail is not enough for a douche of epic proportions.

# posted by

Anonymous : 2:14 PM

Er, hi! Me and Goldmember here? -We're the reason Hieronymous Bosch took up painting.

# posted by

wonkydouchey : 2:23 PM

BEARING: Even professionals like her lose it sometimes.

# posted by

The Douche of Buckingham : 2:28 PM

he has a matching fur-arrow on his lower back.

SpursFan shaved them both.

# posted by

scumbag619 : 2:31 PM

hahahahah
hahhahahahahahaaha
ahahhahahahahahahhahahaha

I juust ffell out of my chair laughing

GOD bless HCWDB!!!

# posted by

douchemaster flex : 2:36 PM

SprusFan refers to the "fur-arrows" as landing strips

# posted by

scumbag619 : 2:45 PM

Eustus directs the ladies to his navel, where his world record 79 raisins still reside.

# posted by

Hoppah : 3:08 PM

Due to his girth, Cletus hadn't seen his penis in years. The arrow helps him find it when he's on a binge.

# posted by

hoppah : 3:09 PM

Rated E for Epic

# posted by

Douche Shower : 5:43 PM

"You too, can have your hair transplanted to your pale torso in any design you deem necessary to attract the Kitty Kats. Just send a check or money order for $49.95 to:

Gurt Pishirt Floscrote Industries
Van de Lay Ave.
Las Douches, Nevada 45681

# posted by

trey : 6:16 PM

All day at work, locked out of the internet and I come home to this. A man-cow with a wet - dry razor and a double wide mirror. Can't believe his mother let him out of the house like that.

# posted by

Ernest Hemingdouche : 6:21 PM

Gob-ula indicates which direction his dome fuzz has migrated

# posted by

creature : 8:09 PM

"Dare to Go Where No Other Has Trod"

# posted by

creature : 8:25 PM

"Arrow points to small pipe."

# posted by

Bubbles : 8:39 PM

Oddly enough the strip's up here

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:43 PM

Avatar: The Last Douchebender

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:49 AM

"America your next American Idol is...... F#ck this Seacrest out"

# posted by

Jake : 4:55 PM

I call it the hairway to herpes.

# posted by

Glenn : 5:09 PM

"As a matter of fact, I AM Phil Collins!"

# posted by

Anonymous : 5:59 PM

ROOFIES: even guys like this can score

# posted by

The Douche of Buckingham : 8:21 PM

Mouth goes here

# posted by

Double O Douche : 9:11 AM

After it finally dawned on him that the girls he was taking home couldn't actually read the words "Go Down on Me," Snardly let the hair grow back out and opted for a pictogram the next time around.

# posted by

VJ : 2:06 PM

I use to be a little morose when thinking about the end of the world, after seeing this 'lemon party' I'm gaining acceptance. The fact that there are soo many DB's just like him perhapps we're even over due!

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:18 AM

Monday, November 17, 2008

Caption This Pic

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