Monday, November 24, 2008
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"The Grim Reaper, Douche Bag Edition" makes sure Muffy, Tiff, and Becka get good and tanked up for the drive back home along the dimly lit,
cliff side roadway.
cliff side roadway.
Allie, Katie-Beth, and Molly pose for the Girls Gone Wild camera crew unaware of the greasy douche ninja that was about to descend upon them.
# posted by 
: 12:37 PM
: 12:37 PM
Girls night out at the gay bar. Too easy. Look in the background. Not a single chick in the place other than these gals. What other venue would allow this dude to do what he's doing without having bouncers tear him to pieces?
I know more than a few girls who actually prefer to go to gay bars on a girls night out for a variety of reasons. Primarily, they dance without being grinded on by douchebags. They can drink without worrying about douchebags trying to take advantage. And then there's all the non-threatening eye candy.
So basically, douchebags are driving our hotts away to gay bars. This guy gets a pass for being a paid-to-pose-go-go boy.
I know more than a few girls who actually prefer to go to gay bars on a girls night out for a variety of reasons. Primarily, they dance without being grinded on by douchebags. They can drink without worrying about douchebags trying to take advantage. And then there's all the non-threatening eye candy.
So basically, douchebags are driving our hotts away to gay bars. This guy gets a pass for being a paid-to-pose-go-go boy.
# posted by : 12:37 PM
: 12:37 PM
Marge, Kim, and Susan argued about whether Frankie Douche would be any match for Chong Li in this year's Kumite
# posted by : 12:39 PM
: 12:39 PM
Even Gary Larson had trouble coming up with a caption to describe Billy Jenkins
# posted by : 12:41 PM
: 12:41 PM
"I know, if I pull down my hat, I can't see them. If I can't see them, they won't see me! I'm the best ninja ever."
The girl in pink in front looks like she's ready to demonstrate a particular oral skill with that bottle.
The CIA surgeons were only able to save Trent Lott by grafting the top half of his head onto a donor 'bag, backwards.
Thaddeus was stunned when the patrons of the Montauk Mudslinger’s Pub completely ignored his vaunted No Look Table Dance.
^ Good one on Trent Lott--
"The Douche Executioner of medieval times would use "drowning by vinegar and water" as a punishment for only the most horrendous crimes."
"The Douche Executioner of medieval times would use "drowning by vinegar and water" as a punishment for only the most horrendous crimes."
As the lead male cheerleader at the local community college, Maynard always relished the opportunity to show off his honed kills as the pinnacle of their human pyramid.
"...fifteen...sixteen...seventeen..." Todd grimaced to himself as his body glistened with sweat from the exertion of filling his pants with butt nuggets.
Lester knew he missed a spot when shaving his armpit that morning, but was relieved when he found a belt to match his recently dyed pubes.
Eugene’s skills as the resident Lamaze instructor were pushed to the limit when Penelope and Phyllis insisted on replacing the instructional doll with their BFF Mathilda.
Each maiden was left stunned by the sodden mark of The Masked Tea-Bagger branded on their foreheads.
After slobbering from afar for several minutes, Jenny, Caroline, and Susan turned away horrified when they realized the stripper was Bobby from the special ed class that they taught.
AV
AV
# posted by : 12:58 PM
: 12:58 PM
I find it oddly pleasing that not a single person in the frame is looking at the heaping pile of douche in the center of the room.
Caroline squealed in terror as something warm and wet slapped the back of her neck. He blew out a hemmorhoid from flexing so hard.
Gertie slung her leg up on the table, and prepared to accept Maude and Saundra’s needy fingers, while they all gazed contemplatively at the ‘Cake Farts’ clip being played on the screen below them.
Whenever Abernathy forgot his next table dance maneuver, he stole a peak at the notes he conveniently hid on the underside of his favorite ball cap.
Dingleberry shots, $2
darksock sorry bro I don't do diet. It's either coffee (and gallons of it), water, dr. pepper
or black velvet.
share the diet coke with your mom ... she needs it.
darksock sorry bro I don't do diet. It's either coffee (and gallons of it), water, dr. pepper
or black velvet.
share the diet coke with your mom ... she needs it.
Todd finally learned what his special purpose was for. Unfortunately he went about it the wrong way by trying to skull fuck a chick from the wrong end.
---------------------------
Note: any dude name Todd should be treated as a deity.
---------------------------
Note: any dude name Todd should be treated as a deity.
Peggy and her friends were thrilled to find that the organizers of the Pit Stench Festival had found enough room in the budget to hire stilt performers.
# posted by : 1:27 PM
: 1:27 PM
The 3 young maidens nearly fainted as the odor of cat piss, axel grease, imitation crab meat and Adidas cologne literally smacked them in their faces.
@plinky-
sorry amigo, but i specialize in little pricks.
and from what i've heard around here, apparently so does your mother...
sorry amigo, but i specialize in little pricks.
and from what i've heard around here, apparently so does your mother...
Walter quickly hid his face when Nub, from the Friday’s Waldouche posting, strolled angrily into the bar; demanding to know who had stolen the flamingo’s tape worm he used to hang the drapes in the Pink Ladies dorm room.
Lester lowered the brim of his hat in shame, once he caught a whiff of the pig entrails he used to tie his pants with.
And thusly Todd went on to become the only man on earth to lose a stare-down contest with his own balls.
During their unfortunate Clockwork Orange phase, management at IHOP introduced their new syrup dispensers.
@ crucial-
yep, i was until it decided to turn into early February in November out here on the Wrong Coast.
living on the dole is a wonderful thing indeed.
cheers!
yep, i was until it decided to turn into early February in November out here on the Wrong Coast.
living on the dole is a wonderful thing indeed.
cheers!
"We here in Iowa like to go to the drive-in on Saturday nights and watch Todd try to flex his dick before Footloose is shown on the big screen."
Unfortunately, Ryan did not word his wish carefully enough, and each girl that the genie crapped out was less attractive than the one before her.
"I'm imagining your penis in place of this bottle d. baggins, come get some", said redhott salaciously.
While Kevin Federline waits for his career to take off, he keeps body and soul together by working as a topless waiter at the Bro's and Ho's nightclub in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Test marketing for Cappy, the Anti-Underage Drinking Ninja, fell flat with its intended demographic.
You can hollow out it's midsection and use it for your kayak tour of Prudhoe bay if you want Stephanie.
well, he's no douchebag but still...
http://afrojacks.com/images1/ll%20cool%20j.jpg
http://afrojacks.com/images1/ll%20cool%20j.jpg
# posted by : 2:11 PM
: 2:11 PM
Undeterred by the indifference of the revelers surrounding him, Todd redoubled his resolve to set the World Sulking Record.
To prove once and for all that bricks were for pussies, Sensei Irwin prepared to karate chop through three living bleethes.
@ darksock 1:47
Aw, damnit. I just discovered Scottish eggs and personally declared them Food Of The Gods. Now I keep thinking of this cumguzzler popping them out of his ass like an asian stripper doing the ping-pong ball trick. Bugger!!!!
However, the line "no shoes, no shirt, no cervix" makes me want to commisssion The Franklin Mint to release a series of gold-rimmed plates bearing your likeness.
Aw, damnit. I just discovered Scottish eggs and personally declared them Food Of The Gods. Now I keep thinking of this cumguzzler popping them out of his ass like an asian stripper doing the ping-pong ball trick. Bugger!!!!
However, the line "no shoes, no shirt, no cervix" makes me want to commisssion The Franklin Mint to release a series of gold-rimmed plates bearing your likeness.
"If the new draw-string Hefty-Bag can contain this 185-pound raging douche without puncturing, it can handle your trash needs with ease! Now available with odor-masking scent."
Marjorie, Sheila, and Trish didn't realize that their repeated viewings of Brokencyde's "Freaxxx" video had summoned the Douche Demon himself behind them. Ironically, said demon was named Todd.
@ Medusa O:
I discovered Scottish Eggs and Irish Car Bombs in the same night at an Irish pub in Jackson. I was so happy.
The next day was one of misery.
I discovered Scottish Eggs and Irish Car Bombs in the same night at an Irish pub in Jackson. I was so happy.
The next day was one of misery.
Conway covered his face to maintain his concentration as he finished flatulating The Flight of the Bumblebee.
Shelia, her dark mane still damp, helped push her big-kneed friend Trish into position so she, too, could enjoy a golden shower.
@darksock, medusa
I just discovered car bombs a week ago. Afterwards, I felt like I should be in the position Medusa is in her profile pic, except much less happy looking.
I just discovered car bombs a week ago. Afterwards, I felt like I should be in the position Medusa is in her profile pic, except much less happy looking.
Johnny Cage, after being the victim of a fatality, was stuffed and mounted on the bar at Shao Kahn's House of Dance. Susan, Jessica and Marissa jumped at the photo opportunity.
# posted by : 2:40 PM
: 2:40 PM
A tribute to the simpsons:
Well, beer, we've had some great times
When I was seventeen, I drank some very good beer
I drank some very good beer I purchased with a fake ID
My name was Redhott Brunetee
I stayed up listening to Jordan Sparks-y
When I was seventeen
Well, beer, we've had some great times
When I was seventeen, I drank some very good beer
I drank some very good beer I purchased with a fake ID
My name was Redhott Brunetee
I stayed up listening to Jordan Sparks-y
When I was seventeen
# posted by : 2:43 PM
: 2:43 PM
The Scientology meeting came to a screeching halt after a shirtless Tom Cruise climbed a table and crapped his pants.
Little did Pam, Lauren, and Jill know they were being stalked by the darkest angel from Douche Hell.
# posted by : 2:47 PM
: 2:47 PM
@medusa
If only you were around when I was in college. Melissa was the name of the girl I thought I was going to marry, until she savagely dumped me. For a douche.
Sigh.
If only you were around when I was in college. Melissa was the name of the girl I thought I was going to marry, until she savagely dumped me. For a douche.
Sigh.
If an uber scrote flexes his abs and the hotts don't notice, feel free to administer the well-deserved liver punch.
OR
Disclaimer: No hotts were physically harmed in the making of this AXE commercial. They were, however, emotionally scarred and blinded by body oil.
OR
Disclaimer: No hotts were physically harmed in the making of this AXE commercial. They were, however, emotionally scarred and blinded by body oil.
# posted by : 2:59 PM
: 2:59 PM
No on hears his lonely sign,
There are no transvestites where he lies.
In all his deepest dreams the todd flies.
With sweet male melissa.. mmm..
I'd like to apologize to both plinky and the allman brothers.
It just seemed the right thing to do at the time.
There are no transvestites where he lies.
In all his deepest dreams the todd flies.
With sweet male melissa.. mmm..
I'd like to apologize to both plinky and the allman brothers.
It just seemed the right thing to do at the time.
# posted by : 3:00 PM
: 3:00 PM
Sign up for the new extreme Chi-Gong classes ... where you'll learn to dangle three bar wenches from your wang.
@ Medusa
Booooo! Booooooooo! Todd's are the most solid of solid males on the planet. And if my name weren't Todd I'd beat you like .... errrr, nevermind. A Todd would never hit a woman.
@ Mr. White
Ha ha ha. Hahahahahaha. That's brave of you to amdmit.
Oh, Melissa says "hi."
Booooo! Booooooooo! Todd's are the most solid of solid males on the planet. And if my name weren't Todd I'd beat you like .... errrr, nevermind. A Todd would never hit a woman.
@ Mr. White
Ha ha ha. Hahahahahaha. That's brave of you to amdmit.
Oh, Melissa says "hi."
Wondering who's cock the girls were staring at Andre jumped up on the bar, pulling his cap down over his eyes so as not to be obvious.
Far past his glory day and in the downturn of the economy, the Ultimate Warrior had to take odd jobs as inanimate objects.
The premiere party for the CW's new drama about a sensitive black ninja living in suburban Des Moines was going to be bigger than The Hills no matter what.
Observer's noted the increase in odious secretions shows that this offering pleases the Douche Overlord
# posted by : 3:28 PM
: 3:28 PM
Maybe I have somewhat of a bias on this topic, but I nominate this one as "Johnny Cage-bag." Or maybe that is too simple...
# posted by : 6:15 PM
: 6:15 PM
@ plinky
Tell that to the Todd that dumped me for a girl with a belly roll and dimply thunder thighs (She was proudly showing off in a miniskirt and half-shirt when I met her), a snaggletooth and a lazy eye. I shit you not. As for a beating, well, heh, don't threaten me with a good time! Snicker, snicker!!! Ok, you're the Todd exception.
@ Mr. White
See, you know what I mean. I went to school with one who conned the brilliant, cute kid with real acting talent to forget Hollywood stay here in the midwest with her. He became an insurance salesman last I heard. She waited seven years to tell him that neither one of their children was his.
Tell that to the Todd that dumped me for a girl with a belly roll and dimply thunder thighs (She was proudly showing off in a miniskirt and half-shirt when I met her), a snaggletooth and a lazy eye. I shit you not. As for a beating, well, heh, don't threaten me with a good time! Snicker, snicker!!! Ok, you're the Todd exception.
@ Mr. White
See, you know what I mean. I went to school with one who conned the brilliant, cute kid with real acting talent to forget Hollywood stay here in the midwest with her. He became an insurance salesman last I heard. She waited seven years to tell him that neither one of their children was his.
"I am Todd, I ditch fine looking women for those with uni-brows, snaggle teeth and cauliflower thighs. And if you have 2 lazy eyes which roll in your head like Cookie Monster's ... all the better. Throw yourselves upon my alter and let me ravage you like a drunk at 2in the morning eating a Garbage Plate."
At first they thought they knew what he meant when the gay waiter said he was going to "take" their empty bottles. That's when sancho the hairdressing ninjamaiden (for the uninformed that's a gay ninja) made his move.
# posted by : 10:01 PM
: 10:01 PM
Sleep is for losers.
At the same instant Darth Ballcap shed his cloak, Obiswan Ki-brunette Bleeth had her Bud-Light saber powered up and ready for the epic showdown...
At the same instant Darth Ballcap shed his cloak, Obiswan Ki-brunette Bleeth had her Bud-Light saber powered up and ready for the epic showdown...
Draknar the evil douche overlord stalks his victims from behind, ready in bleeth any unsuspecting victim.
Maggie, Meghan, Mindy and Todd warm up for this year's "Live Nativity" at Shiloh Baptist Full Gospel Holiness Church by re-creating the first Body Count album cover.
# posted by : 5:47 AM
: 5:47 AM
Tailing Jenneys husband to find out where he disappers to on Thursday night resulted in a tragic revelation. As they are escorted from the gay bar they maintain nervous smiles while Jenney (front) is about to blow chunks.
# posted by : 8:31 AM
: 8:31 AM
Red Dress: "I bet a third bottle in his ass will finally make him smile..."
Blue Dress: "oh God I can feel a snail track between my shoulders ewwww"
White Dress: "See, I told you my Real Guy Doll is fun at parties"
Shirtless Pud: "Grunt!"
Blue Dress: "oh God I can feel a snail track between my shoulders ewwww"
White Dress: "See, I told you my Real Guy Doll is fun at parties"
Shirtless Pud: "Grunt!"
the moment he's trained his whole life for -
the final destruction of the tri-bodied hott monster.
focus, oh douche one
the final destruction of the tri-bodied hott monster.
focus, oh douche one
The Douchinator Prepares To Unleash His Full Doucheness With The Fury of a Marky Mark Workout Video.
Three Two One....FEEL THE VIBRATIONS!!!
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Three Two One....FEEL THE VIBRATIONS!!!
# posted by : 9:06 AM
: 9:06 AM << Home
