So a second photo of Red here shows she is a cutie after all.

I'd throw her one if she can scrub off the curry stink ....

Homi has all the charm of a R.I.C.O. defendant.
 

I have followed yr cult.stud. refs with great plaisir-- Homi Bhabha... that's tite.
 

When I was a stripper, guys like this used to tip with $100 bills. When I'd unroll them later, I'd see they'd written me a little message with their phone number.

"Lot more where this cum from please call me baybee."
 

yeah, yeah, whatever Homi.

go fetch me a plate of Bharwan Baigans and shut up.
 

@Hypersexualgirl

Are you implying that these 2 women are only interested in DC because of his money? Shame on you.
 

Blond's name is Angel, short for "Angelfish."

Another one of D.C's interests? Male pattern baldness.
 

@hypersexualgirl...i'd surmise that that certain trick doesn't work quite as well on a $5 bill.
 

"I'm looking for a pair of sunglasses that will really set off my eyebrows. You got anything like that?"
 

@Ronald McDouchenald

No, it's his gauze pajamas that sealed the deal.

"You like shopping ladies? To Beverly Hills I take you, yes? Buy for you some nice things. Then you fresh up in my suite at Four Seasons maybe? Yes, you like that, I am sure. So nice."
 

@hypersexualgirl

What if a client wrote their name on a Sacajawea dollar? That had been in the freezer for a while?
 

@pfah
It doesn't matter about the size of the tip. I would never call. I worked with girls who would, however.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

When the economy turned sour, Singh Blojabbi saved a few Rupee’s by sewing his own clothes out of fabric softeners.
 

i wore a pair of white linen pants to a party once. i decided to go commando because it was rather hot outside, and this was a patio party. my date at the time wanted to have a little fun in one of the rooms, so we did. problem was, my hard-on wasn't going away, and it was painfully obvious what we'd been doing. we waited in the hallway for a little bit, but to no avail. just then, a group of ladies walked around the corner. at the exact same time, they all looked down at my crotch. as they walked by us smiling, one of the girls patted my date on the shoulder and said "lucky girl."

my ego was unstoppable at that point.
 

I guess the omnipresent Jim Jones-cum-Heapa Trouble Redneck Sheriff-aviator shades can really pull some righteous tail nowadays.

This guy looks like what would have happened if Max Baer, Jr. in his prime had ill-advisedly produced a movie about a Hindu love cult.
 

Blonde is the hottest chick on this site ever. Period.

-Asshat
 

I bought a leather couch from an Indian couple and I COULD NOT get the smell of curry out of it. I had to get rid of it.
 

i bought a leather couch from Plinky, and i COULD NOT get the smell of his mom out of it.

i sold it back to him.
 

@pfah
!!!!!
 

I'd pee in Red's butt
 

yes my dear?
 

(I meant !!!!! about the linen pants.)
 

I bought a leather couch from Plinky; it turned out to BE his Mom. I had to take it back.
 

oh ok, i gotcha. true story.
 

@darksock...well, i now have a lovely coating of my very own saliva all over my huge monitor.

thank you.


and no, i was not licking it.
 

I love party sex adventures. I have one from last Friday I'll be putting up on my blog soon.
 

@pfah, I think you've been reading hypersexualgirl's blog too much, whereas I do need mental images of hypersexualgirl engaged in various sexual activities, I don't need mental images of you, in white linen pants, with an erection.

IOV (inappropriate office vomit)

Are you thinking of starting your own blog: baldsexualguy.com?
 

Please DB1 more of the redheaded woman. Wow.
 

Meanwhile, back in the real world, the Dow just heaved itself over a cliff.
 

@ronald...my Creative Director just walked into my office and asked what i was laughing my ass of at. after he read your comment, he about shit himself laughing too. nice work brother.


baldsexualguy.com......hmm. this might need to get done.
 

Looking at DC's two pics, I'll pose the question that I answered myself the other day: which pic is before the roofies and which is after? Undrugged, the Eastern European blonde is quite tasty with life in her eyes and sideboob.

If there is a third pic, will DC have a brown stain on the front of his Colombian drug lord outfit?

Big Red has a smokin' bod, but lose the eyeliner--I think that's what gives her crazy eyes.
 

@pfah- I'm sure it would have a killer site rating.
 

Thanks for spoiling the image in my mind, guys. In my fantasy, pfah looked like Daniel Craig's hotter brother.

Now I have Ed Asner's nephew leering at me with a wet stain on his pants.
 

heheh. i look NOTHING like Ed Asner.

was your fantasy of me all in slow motion? because it should have been. slow motion makes everything just that much sexier.
 

Yes, the hall was dark. Jazz was playing somewhere in the distance. A strong breeze was blowing in from an open window somewhere. The women coming around the corner were wearing sheer little dresses, and one had another's lipstick smudged on her cheek.

You could seriously revive this fantasy if you told me you looked like Jason Statham. He's bald but very, very hot. Hotter than Daniel Craig.
 

@pfah-

Nice avatar BTW. I'm assuming it's to scale.......
 

Boobs...
 

i look like Jason Statham.


please keep typing.
 

@douchetoevsky...thanks dude. yup. it's to scale. we all did our own self-portrait South Park character here in the Creative Department. that was mine. and amazingly, i still have a job.
 

I bought my mom a big leather sofa and she exclaimed, "My twin, my twin! You found my twin!"

ba - dum - bump {{cymbal}}

---------------------------------

@crucial head

fukcing smashing brother. I LOL'd here at work then I told my nosey co-workers to "Shut the {{censored}} up!" when they inquired as to what I was laughing at.
---------------------------------

Where's this guy's silken balloon pants and vest, and his pointy shoes with tassles on the ends of them?
Get back in the lamp you freak!!
 

Tell me I'm too late on this one please.

Compliments of CityRag

I effin nominate every last one of them for the douchies.
 

This Love Guru douche makes me feel like I'm up the Ganges without and air freshener. I'll go back to my

Greeting the Day.href="
 

I'm quickly becoming convinced that pfah is actually more than one poster on this site.
 

i give you my word that i am only one poster. pfah. i don't have enough time or energy to be more. true story.
 

I'm quickly becoming convinced pfah is more than 1 personality within his own head.
 

Pfah is omnicient. Like Samurai Scrote... only more accessible and with less deadly consequences.

Unless you make fun of Rush in Pfah's presence. At which point you will feel Pfah's boot on your taint.
 

Man, I thought the US had taken out both of Saddam's sons?
 

thanks fellas.
 

Blondy gets my vote for best side boob of my dreams but red sexy head is out of this world smokin' hot. Too bad their waiter got in the shot.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

do loves me a good firecrotch. their nipples are the best. like strawberry necco wafers. or cherry. or whatever the fuckin pink ones are, they all taste like shit anyway.

stupid necco wafers.
 

yeah, I'm a dork too, I've seen Rush live about half a dozen times.

Although, to doo doo's point, does it raise suspicion that pfah seems to have enough time to change his avatar on a regular basis

...just sayin ;)
 

@hypersexualgirl how about a fantasy in which an overeager 26 year old married man who hasn't got laid since leaves were on the trees comes stumbling into your bedroom gone off captain morgan and xanax and makes passionate love to you missionary style for approximately 30-45 seconds until he shoots his opiate and rum laden seed all over your nice linen sheets and proceeds to pass out face down in a body pillow while he snores and farts in his sleep all night? is that hot? put that on your blog you sex kitten you rawwwwr
 

i am a dork.

on my Mac desktop, i have a TON of random pictures that i use for my avatars. it keeps me entertained.

did i mention that i am a dork?
 

fuck necco wafers
 

pfah sucks!

- Doc
 

baldsexualguy.com has already been taken by Spurs Fan

Oh wait, it's baldbi-sexualguy.com

Carry on
 

@bcs
All you got to do is change the age and it's every man married for more than one year.
 

Except maybe pfah.
 

bcs is on a roll. That was comedy
 

@bcs

Dude you're waaaaaaay too young to be this geeked out. Wait until you're 36 then you'll really have stuff to be tripping about. Like:

"I'm 36 years old and I keep telling myself I'm really going to do something with my life - something with real meaning and value - but yet here I sit day after day and my only salvation for the idiocy of the 'real' world is a website called hotchickswithdouchebags.com."

By the way bcs, you got any of those opiates to share?






Please?!
 

i remember i said in the first DC photo that i had a soft spot for white bikinis. i think, in retrospect, it was that skanky redhead that sealed the deal. she has a way of looking at you that makes you want sneak up behind her, grab her by the tits to her total shock, and whisper in her ears in a very threatening tone, "DO YOU KNOW HOW HORNY YOU MAKE ME, BITCH?!"

anyway, i will just say that if Homi Bhabha knows enough about Buddhism, he'd be suffering in the 18th layer of hell for materialistic excess.

but none of that matters though. i will just be rolling on my bed yelling uncontrollably thinking about Hypersexualgirl and Pfah's stories. the only time i had been this horny was when me and a bunch of guys were talking about how men could orgasm more than once without losing the erection in between. that day was pretty dangerous, because i felt like i could've landed myself a sexual assault lawsuit at any minute, because any hottie i saw in the street, i wanted to pounce - a lot more than i usually do.
 

Since 1847, Americans and people around the world have enjoyed NECCO Wafers.

NECCO’s long-standing success in the candy business is closely related to the enduring popularity of the company’s core product – the NECCO Wafer. A multi-colored, fat-free wafer available in eight flavors, a roll of NECCO Wafers is a candy favorite for all times.

In 1847, a young English immigrant, Oliver Chase, invented the first American candy machine, a lozenge cutter. After initial success selling his new candy, he and his brother, Silas Edwin, founded Chase and Co., which became the pioneer member of the NECCO family.

The original recipe for the NECCO Wafer remains basically unchanged today, and the Wafers are still made in the original eight flavors: orange, lemon, lime, clove, chocolate, cinnamon, licorice, and wintergreen. The ingredients are simply sugar, corn syrup, gelatin, gums, colorings and flavorings.

In 1913, explorer Donald MacMillan took NECCO Wafers on his Arctic explorations, using them for nutrition and as rewards for Eskimo children. In the 1930’s, Admiral Byrd took 2 ½ tons of NECCO Wafers to the South Pole, practically a pound a week for each of his men during their two-year stay in the Antarctic.

The U.S. Government requisitioned a major portion of the production of NECCO Wafers during World War II. The candy doesn’t melt and is practically indestructible during transit, making it perfect for shipping overseas to the troops.

There has been a resurgence in the popularity of NECCO Wafers in recent years as consumer demand for non-fat sweets has increased. In addition, feelings of nostalgia on the part of baby boomers and other age groups have impacted sales of the candy.

Today, NECCO produces approximately four billion wafers on an annual basis. If the Wafers were placed edge to edge, they would go around the world twice. A whole roll takes about 40 minutes to eat. What other candy bar can make that claim?

In addition, creative NECCO Wafer fans have invented various additional uses for Necco Wafers over the years. They have been used as poker chips, for practice before a first communion and as bulls-eyes at target ranges. If only Oliver Chase could have known.

NECCO doesn’t tamper with success and NECCO Wafers just keep rolling along.
 

fuck necco i'm going home good night kids
 

I guess NECCO-philia has been around almost forever!
 

I haven't had time to read all of today's posts, so apologies in advance if this is old news. For those that haven't heard, DB1 is getting sued by three Bleeths from, of course... Jersey. Read this:

http://www.sodahead.com/question/192593/hotchickswithdouchebagscom-in-court-guilty-or-not-guilty/

DB1 cannot post anything about this on the site, but it is obviously our duty to mock the ever-loving hell out of these idiots.

So, what you're saying ladies, is that dating greasy, Jersey douchescrotes has NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES if you get called on it? Gosh, who could've predicted that!?
 

the three "hotties" who are suing won't ever make it into the Hottest Hott or some other Hott-honoring category in an annual Douchies awards nomination process. which makes this lawsuit all the more uninspiring. we're just a bunch of spoiled kids because DB1 made us so.

but yeah this had been brought up before.
 

I would enjoying having sex with these two young ladies at the same time.

Of course, by sex I mean a warm glass of milk and by at the same time I mean next to their grandmother's microwave at four o'clock in the morning just to get a whif of the laundry detergent residue from when their grandma washed their nighties when they were 12.

I love boobies.
 

As the Bhagvad Gita writes, Beware those who smell like shit curry
 

As the Bhagvad Gita writes, Beware those who smell like shit curry
 

This has to be one of the funniest threads I've read in a while.

BCS is right, NECCO waffers suck rabid mule dick. I remember as a kid trying those out. Someone handed them out for trick or treat. I had just previously tried candy corn and I thought
"Surely there can't be anything worse than candy corn."
Then I tried the Necco Waffers, and I knew God hated me.


Pfah, even if you aren't the original pfah (which I don't know why everyone is saying that all of a sudden), you're on a roll today. "My ego was unstoppable at that point"
That's just fantastic.


Oh, and between blondies' side boob and red's inner thigh there...yeah...no joke...that's just where I want my head.
 

Blonde hott for:

Hott most likely to be sporting dead trout bags when she's thirty.

I'd still swing from them like a baboon on crack though.
 

From none to Naan
 

@ plinky_

try 38
 

@Archidoucheis...thank you kind sir. your words continue to spur me on. much appreciated. and yeah, it's the ole pfah still, just a new account. it's really me.
 

riiiiight.



doc?
 

aw c'mon 'sock.

DB1, can you help me out here?
 

are we observing a spate of account / name changes, or are we observing a spate of account / name changes?

first it was Steve Zodiac, now it's Pfah.

but, for what it's worth, the new Pfah looks like the old Pfah to me. in which case, he has all the help he needs: in the form of Mrs. Pfah. right Pfah? she's lookin' evil there in that particular avatar there.
 

oh steve-o...you have no idea. when my other half is pissed, the world stops. which is why i am happy i am able to keep her happy. she's Greek for fuck's sake man. you don't piss off Greek women. ever.

also, she doesn't have a mustache.

just in case Doc is reading this thread.

good to see you back Steve-o.

i can call you Steve-o, right?
 

I knew I was right for wanting to grudge fuck her.

hahaha my instincts validated... I was worried there for a minute.

This guy's face is a South Park character. No Chin, no features, just circles and dots.

I could replicate him perfectly with some construction paper.

He is poo, or rather, once he dies and is rewarded for what little good he has done in his life, he will be upgraded and reincarnated as poo.

smelly, smelly poo.
 

@Gaijindouche...i hope you have a better day today than you did yesterday my friend.
 

Those eyebrows came attached to the glasses. I think the nose fell off.
 

@vin douchal.

Nice. And the mustache fell off too.


This dude's eyebrows came straight from Sesamee Street.
 

This answers Spivak's famous question -- can the subaltern douche?
 

yes of course you can call me Steve-o. it's a step up before i earn more powerful nicknames, which will probably have to wait until i find a hottie desperate enough to be ravished by me.
 

The Stevenator has a nice ring to it.
 

Thanks, Pfah. It's looking up. I'm making a misheard lyrics video of one of my favorite Japanese band's songs.

Just to let you all know, since I'm living one day in the future:

Friday morning was decent and Friday night looks good!
 

Definitely something about red's eyes that says, "Crazy Appalachia!"
 

DC is the proprietor of several Indian tech support boiler rooms & splits his time between Vegas flesh pits & Dubai hose houses
 

Pablo Escobar called...he want's his white outfit back.
 

speak up pfah... I can't hear you over the sound of you being awesome!
 

Holy crap guys and gal, funniest damn thread in a while. Thanks for the laughs; pfah, HSG, RMcD... classic!

FFS&F

(fuck FishSlap & Fung, but you knew that)
 

What? No luv for VD?
 

Db1, I think I get it, and I cry in my scotch to think it. This explains why asians act like rappers too then eh?
 

Unlike some of the other deprecating comments, I really meant no ill towards asians ... it came out after transcribing a disturbing transcribing of a comedy episode at work. They joked that every man wants to sleep with an asian woman, but no woman wants to sleep with an Asian man.
 

I dunno, Red gives me the shivers.

He gives me pinkeye. The bastard.
 

Ooo...love Heather Graham hot on the left with side boobie action and tiny little pot belly.
 

Where, oh WHERE are the comments about the luscious shot of swingin' SIDECAR BOOBIE???

This douchebag has no chin at all, he could hardly rest himself on the sweet nethers of Hotts to give them an ample tonguejob.

He may, however, be in possession of an IOB:
Inappropriate Outdoor Boner, held low between the thighs. Small observation considering the ample display des Les Acoutrements Hotts.
 

So am I the only one who thinks that one shouldn't wear clothes of such material when there's pockets?

The actual shirt/pants combo, I can see actually being quite comfy in the summer. But being able to see the ghosts of the pockets in the shirt and the pants just ruins any "style" in my mind.
 

God damn Red McFirehead is hot! Just get a load of that look in her eyes. That's some wholesome, natural, pose-free sexuality shining through. I bet she's got little freckles on her face. But not on the shoulders, though. That's yucky.

The D. C.'s slanted jaw is from my roundhouse kick to his revolting mug a moment before.
 

@ Mr. Bigg

Very true about the asian thing on both counts. My wife is 1/2 Korean and her cousin(who is 100% Korean) thinks he is a straight up gangster. Has his own Myspace raps and shit, wears oversized basketball jerseys and giant jesus bling. Very funny stuff. And by funny I mean completely fucking ridiculous. Also, yes asian women = tasty treats.
 

And another thing. What's the deal asian porno? What's the point if you're going to blur out all the good shit. Stupid asian porno.
 

What's with all the anti-curry comments? The main ingredient that turns it yellow, turmeric, is indeed a fine medicinally-propertied seasoning that reduces inflammation, curcumin being the active ingredient (curcumin=curry).

It's especially useful for arthritis.

It might just be useful when trying to reduce the swelled heads that sometimes appear when mocking a bit too heavily on this site.

I'll leave it to other imaginations to deduce more uses, however, NOT for the orange glo of spray on tan.
Wait a minute...is it?...could it be?...the secret ingredient?...
 

"For those of you who are did not get it"
GREENMAN is one of those, must be a cultural difference.

Boobies

GREENMAN
 

Oh, and can I get some babagonash, with extra pita bread. A huka and a cup of hot tea as well. Or do I "are" not get it? I thought "are" that you were one of the pool boys.
 

I'm surprised no one has mentioned this douchebag looks like a poor man's Tom Ford. That's certainly the look he's riffing on. I wonder if he's gay like Tom?
 

I would hit Red like an 18-wheeler hits a concrete wall.

That is to say, INCREDIBLY HARD.
 

TWO Hot babe!!
 

I would like some sex now please.
 

Red is goddamn incredible. Hot Chick of the year.
 

The redhead is so incredibly hott. If I can have her, the douchebag can keep the blonde.
 

I bet this guy's New Delhi IT outsourcing company is doing great and to celebrate he planned a trip to las vegas where he rented 2 'ladies in waiting'