That chick on the right needs to wax her upper lip.
 

I thought this was another hermaphrodouche.
 

Tired of dating bullies, jocks, stud muffins, rednecks, Euro-trash and the likes, Tabbitha took the advice of her lonely and bitter aunt Pat and checked out a new website for frustrated single women: datethemosteffeminatepigfuckerwecouldfind.com.

Here you see her pictured with her first hook-up from said website, Skyle. (Yes that's his real name.) He writes all the songs for his church's Christian rock group and he loves to collect butterflies and thinks too much hair on a man is "eeeeewwwwwww, icky!"

A match made in heaven I tell ya.
 

I don't think they're dating. Seriously. He's way too androgynous. She cried on his shoulder when Biff slapped her and called her a whore. She stood up for him when the jocks threw spaghetti on him in the cafeteria. They dreamed of opening their own hair salon together. But then Biff came back into the picture and Rachel was gone.

I have a very similar picture from when I was about 16 and posing with my friend Barry. He's now a very in-demand colorist. I'm the only girl he has ever kissed. And Biff is doing time.
 

Dude’s upper lip is glossier than Rob Halford’s balloon knot after being handed a backstage pass to a Jonas Brothers concert.
 

Dude’s upper lip is glossier than the cover of the HCwDB book.
 

Dude’s upper lip is glossier than George Takei’s wiener after exiting a gay bath house.
 

Whats gay and sounds like a bell?
Dung
 

Dung's upper lip is glossier than the floor at the peep show.
 

It's Pat seriously needs an asskicking. This is the nice guy vulture that your girlfriend turns to after a fight or breakup wih you, only to slip her the vulnerability fuck...

I hate head games like that, I prefer to wear steel-toes and aim for the jawline.
 

Dung's upper lip is glossier than BB XoX's mirror.
 

No way she's dating that emo pussy. HyperSexual Girl is dead on. She may be a fag hag - although she looks too pretty for that. She's a beautiful girl but the squinty eyes and the enormous mouth/wide smile make her look sinister. She could fit a whole turkey in that trap. I'd love to see just a normal pic of her.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
 

He definitely talks about how he used to have "real problems with authority" and is condescending to anyone who doesnt know about the formative bands of the early punk movement, including not just their musical influences, but their political influences as well. He invariably asserts a rotation of political conspiracy theories about local politics/matters exclusively (local supervisor is trying to shut down all the indie clubs in this area. OR [first name of lead singer of quasi-famous local band of choice] is trying to start a music fest in this neighborhood). He knows the first names of local indie/emo club owners, though to them he is another annoying hanger-on. He says he was in AP english in high school and was smarter than most of the kids who went to college, but he doesnt like what they teach you there so it wouldnt make any sense for him to go.
He reads books on Zen rock gardens and is definitely no more than friends with that hott.

However, im not sure this guy is a dbag. it seems like he needs to be put on display on another site.
 

Yeah this is most certainly the type of dude who'll weasel up to your girl after you and she fight (good call rubber douchey)
then he tells his boys he's banging some dude's chick and he acts all macho about it. But whenver he's around the ladies he act's all caring and sensitive and tries to show he really is different than other guys by dressing funny and ....


awwwwwwww forget it. I'm married now. Who gives a fuck about leaches like this?!. Sorry single dudes, but you get to deal with 'em now.
 

Isn't that guy the singer from Green Day?
 

Idiots!

That's Jennifer Love Hewitt in "The Crying Game 2", coming to a theatre near you in Feb '09.

Her boobs are mashed down with Hollywood trickery and the beard and arm here are OBVIOUSLY prostetic.

Yeesh ....
 

shit ... here = hair

D'oh !
 

fuck dung
 

We think http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/ is written by a woman (74%).

http://genderanalyzer.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.hotchickswithdouchebags.com%2F
 

^ shut up, dung ^
 

@SirFwalGman

Interesting. I checked out that site but I didn't read through the particulars as to how they come up with gender.

But that's ok, we all DB1 is a big snatch anyway.

Hey DB1 should we let SirFwalGman in on the secret; that we're all men here on this site who are looking to have sex change operations?! In fact pfah's having his surgery today.

Good luck pfah, we love you!
 

His upper lip looks like it still has some residual millipede cock-yogurt left on it.
 

@Crucial

...residual millipede cock-yogurt

Really?!? No, really?!? Got a heary LOL out of me fella. Punch out you're done for the day. Good work young man.
 

New from Dannon:
Residual Millipede Cock-Yogurt yogurt.

Next month:

Premature Ejaculated Monkey Scrunch
 

Thanks Plink.

Matter of fact, I will punch out for the weekend. No boxed wine for me this weekend. Gonna break out the good Bordeaux and probably run through a few bottles of Makers Mark and Mescal while feasting with the family.

Have a safe and Happy Thanksgiving ‘bag hunters. See you all next week!

Cheers!
 

@ Anonymous 1:02pm

A fine exegesis of Dung's self-presentation! Well done.

Your suggestion about displaying his sorry ass on a different website got me thinking: in particular, my synapses lit up at the word "display," which conjured images of the stuffed creatures in natural history museums. From that seed, a potentially recession-proof business plan was born.

Two words: human taxidermy.

If the field has not yet been invented, Dung is reason enough to create it. If we can stuff and mount wildlife, why not douches? It's a great way to recycle human waste, *and* you can't beat it as a unique gift idea.

I'm telling you, people *dig* turning pests into art. Take Australia, where they make kitsch out of cane toads (the bane of Gold Coast existence): you can find the shellacked amphibians for sale by the dozen in the Brisbane airport, neatly accessorized with top hats, walking sticks and tiny bottles of Johnny Walker.

So imagine the same idea applied to the bane of *our* existence: douchebags. We stuff them, mount them in action poses,
such as "The Shocker" and "The Kissy Lips," and boom--it's art! Collect the whole set!

But don't price it yet, because here's where this business plan gets really good: upselling. Also known as The Barbie Strategy. The doll itself is just the thin edge of the marketing wedge: the real money gets made on Barbie's accoutrements, in form of clothing, vehicles (the pop-top camper was sublime), and even companions (Skipper, Ken, etc.).

KA-CHING! There's your license to print money.

We can even afford to make the stuffed douchebags a loss leader (an attractive proposition in these straitened times), while charging customers up the wazoo for the Samurai Scrote outfit, the Accessory Bleeth, and so forth. Proud owners can show off to their neighbors by posing their stuffed 'bags in the backyard (hopefully in compromising positions with the garden gnomes!).

Are you seeing the potential here? If we can get this up and running in time for the gift-buying rush, douchebag taxidermy will reduce the Pet Rock craze to a footnote in the annals of marketing history.

Is the domain name "stuffeddouchebags.com" taken yet? Perhaps we could link to the site that Plinky mentioned--datethemosteffeminatepigfuckerwecouldfind.com--to take advantage of cross-branding opportunities?
 

Green Douche.

And it's even better that he has his name emblazoned across his sunken chest, in giant pink letters, natch, so he doesn't even have to refer to himself in the third person in conversation. We'll just "know". And by know I mean shart.
 

Humminna humminna ha-wa!

And not to worry, that's probably her brother. And I believe he is checking out some dude across the room.

God damn it! that's what I believe!
 

Dung asked his "best friend" to turn him into a "Glazed Doughnut", hence the shiny face.

Don't worry, soon it will get crusty and fall off by itself.

Yicky yucky poo!

ASvB
 

@chupacabra: please, oh please dress up as Catwoman and marry me.
 

@ chupacabra

ditto what wonkeydouchey says. But I want you to be Batgirl, 'kay?

Well, have you checked out these fine folks? I think you may have a willing group of taxidermy artisans to get your idea rolling...
 

@Xanadouche
"She's a beautiful girl but the squinty eyes and the enormous mouth/wide smile make her look sinister."

I don't know whether or not to be offended. Of all the girls I've seen here on HCwDB, this girl comes about the closest to resembling me.
 

@HSG

Only one way to decide...side-by-side photo comparisons. Hopefully topless.


Pretty please.
 

Young Douche, speaks free, tonight...
 

This is a new one: I see the hotchick, and the bulldyke, but where's the douchebag?

--VS
 

@Chupacadra
Troy Tempest nee Col. Steve Zodiac at one time had a link to a very amazing taxidermy website on his blog. Perhaps he will grace us with his presence later and tell all.


@HSG
Which girl in the picture looks like you? I see one cute girl-next-door type and one emo-fag type.
 

Those same make-up encrusted eyes watch her intently as she sucks his pale, skinny penis.
 

Rachel was always "the pretty one" and all the boys would abuse her. SHE'S GOT COOTIES!!! they would scream, but actually they liked her and feared her because she was taller than they were.

The boys who didn't make fun of her were "the nice boys", and half of them eventually figured they liked boys better. But Rachel liked these nice boys, but they "didn't like her" at least in the way she wanted to experience "like". Thus a fag hag was born.

I've known some in my day, and every single one of them was totally hott. I remember dating one - I'll call her "Cindy". Cindy was a fag hag and I was hell bent for leather on getting her into bed. One evening she said she wanted me to go out with one of her favourite "boyfriends" a gay man named "Jim".

Jim was VERY cool - very funny, ultrasmart - a real character. Unfortunately as soon as CHO-OH entered his veins, he "got crazy". So this was about 1989, in Wash DC, and we go to this bar called Hell (my fave bar at the time) where they served Mickey's Big Mouths, PBR, Old Nick, and LIKKER and about the only thing they had for music was Tom Waits and Heavy Metal - appropriate for HELL.

I go to the can (which was decorated with newpaper litho sheets on executions) and when I come back, Jim is dry humping Cindy on the filthy sticky floor.

A crowd gathers round. Cindy's skirt is up around her chest and her long blonde hair is all over the place. Her long legs are up and bent, and she's howling and Jim is banging away at her, fully clothed, on her butt floss covered cooter.

Sigh.

I order another beer. What a fucking pantomime. Cindy eventually peels herself up off the floor and comes over and sticks her tongue down my throat. Yum.

"So, having fun Cindy?"

"YEEEAH!! YOU BETCHA!!!"

"Hey Jim."

"Hey Troy. Ya know, Cindy is totally fuckin' crazy."

"No shit Jim. But so are you."

"Yeah. I spose."

"Wanna beer, Jimbo?"

"Sure. Wutcha drinkin'?"

"Beer. I think this is Pabst Blue Ribbon. They don't serve Heineken here."

"Yeah. No shit."

"No shit."

"So, Troy - what's with the fuckin' death masks on the wall?"

"It's hell Jim. We're in hell. Hell is me drinkin' PBR while my girlfriend's queer buddy dry humps her amid the spilt beer, cigarette ashes and chewing gum. Hell is you, dry humpin' your best friend in this filthy hole, 'cuz you're too gay to do it for real. Which is no biggie to me, but what would your boyfriend - what's his name - Mickey? What would he think of all this?"

"Oh - he wouldn't care about me and Cindy. She's practically my sister."

"Saying that doesn't improve things dude..."

(we both laugh)

"Yeah.. so Cindy - you want something to drink?"

"SURE!!! GIMME SOME VODKA-- WOOOOO!!!!"

"Right. Vodka. Bartender! Vodka for the crazy blonde chick."
 

Dung
Dung beetle
Beetle Bailey
Bailey's Irish Cream
Cream soda
Soda jerk
Jerk off
Off color
Color pink
Pinko
 

any relations to Dung Beetle?

as full of potential as i think junior exec hottie is, i think she ultimately kinda falls short of the big name hotties in the business world. if Carly Fiorina isn't as business savvy as she is hot (and quite frankly she's not) we always have Meredith Whitney. that woman is just creepy.

but then i don't expect too much out of Fiorina or Whitney's spouses. they're probably both like Dung.
 

oh crap i do believe Whoop-di-Douche beat me to the Dung Beetle thing.
 

Dude looks like a lady.
 

"type without a job who wears guyliner into the bar where he works"?

Don't confuse me; it's way early. My husband already made me cry today and it's not even 4:30 am.
 

It pisses me off to no end to see such a pretty lass with a silly questionable excuse for a male.

WHY IS HE WEARING EYE MAKEUP???
 

@ HSG

Of all the girls I've seen here on HCwDB, this girl comes about the closest to resembling me.

And Dung comes the closest to resembling me. Can we get our freak on?

That is, as soon as I lose 70 lbs, get my cock shriveled, rearrange my face, and lengthen my neck with some African neck rings to get that sexy atrophied llama look, then steal my girl's makeup. I'm a few gallons of pouty tears behind too. But hey, a guy's gotta try.
 

I just noticed - it says DUNG right on his shirt.

Fuck - i needs me some more coffee...
 

@chupacabra wrote:

So imagine the same idea applied to the bane of *our* existence: douchebags. We stuff them, mount them in action poses,
such as "The Shocker" and "The Kissy Lips," and boom--it's art! Collect the whole set!

I was thinking it might be awesomeness incarnate if some big wax museum did a dbag exhibit.

Imagine the oompa prompas in wax - it would be had to tell the difference from their actual appearance.

And joey Porsche. And Mooby Dick! Now THAT I'd pay to go see, and by "pay to go see" I mean "pay to vomit in public."
 

Isn't that He Just Bangs Bitches and Drinks? Because I don't see his Pharaoh hat.
 

If vegetarians don't eat meat how do they go down on each other?
 

Alright...maybe they're brother and sister. That chick is way to hot to be with that fucking pansy. If I ever saw him in the street Id fuckin' pull his pants down and push his ass over. God I'm lonely...sniff.
 

I just adore cute lesbian couples.
 

Nah, face it guys, they're doing it. And she's angry and confused at her father's shock and rage whenever she brings him home for thanksgiving. Stupid dad, what does he know about love...
 

@Troy, I had a similar experience. One that made me think that if I just pretended to be gay all the hot chicks will let me dry hump them, since the gay guys apparently get more play than the straight ones.

I'll take it, my needs aren't great, I don't need to dump my seed into every womb ... "I don't want it all, I just want some."
 

a douche without bronze skin is like a frickin rat without hair.

this guy is disgusting.

and shes no jenna either.

i have to take a shower after seeing this, its smell is all over me.
 

what's up ladies.. I'm the Dung in the picture and she is my girlfriend and I'm not fuckin' Emo.. It's a picture taken after I walked off stage after a show at Greenhouse NYC.

www.myspace.com/thepartydeath
 

the shirt doesnt say DUNG it says "too young to die" thats an O not a D.. check out the other pix theyre up on his myspace... hit chicks galore!

this guy definitely aint emo.. the band fuckin rocks!!!

but god damn that is a bad picture!
 

Anonymous 10:45am,

You must be one of his roadies, fag. He pummels your face in semen then you both make out.
 

Hello there everyone. It's me, "Rachel". I'm here to set the record straight.

First off, not sure who took it upon themselves to post this photo... but to you I'd like to say, fuck off and get a life. You must be terribly pathetic to feel the need to take time to post this photo on here.

Second, yes, that is my boyfriend and NO hes not emo. His rock band just headlined at one of the hottest new venues in NYC. He had just finished a set when that photo was taken.

In closing I encourage those of you who feel the need to shit talk other guys on here to just give it a rest. Perhaps if you spent half your energy bettering your approach with women as you do on bashing other guys on here your success rate would be considerably improved. Even a Dung would know that.
 

He gets credit for not having JErsey "Gotti" hair... aint that bad
 

Whatever "Rachel". Your the Fucking loser who is going out with a chode wearing guyliner, queer-rings, and dung on his shirt. You should be happy that your pic even got on this site. Its usually reserved for 8.5's or higher. Your barely a 7. You remind me of a college drop out groupie that I once bagged myself. Except that whore had a little more class and better lips for the puffing than you do. Eat a dick "Rachel". You two assbags deserve each other!