Hot Chicks with Douchebags: Friday Haiku

Friday, November 28, 2008

Friday Haiku

Post turkey headache,
Hungover. Can only take,
stage-1 douche/hott pair.

Red cup, bikinis,
and fauxhawked douchebags don't mix,
except at parties.

-- Don't wheeze the douche!

Perky co-ed hott
Should be experimenting
But not with this choad

-- Anonymous

"Wow, what's with your hair?
It's standing at attention"
"That means I like you!"

-- Anonymous

It's the third Darren
Magic doesn't twitch her nose
But his poo smell does

-- DarkSock

My drink's spiked with X!
You wanna hit of this, babe?
Hey, my shorts threw up!!!

-- Anonymous

# posted by Douchebag1 @ 7:10 AM

Comments:

Ted Grimley hungers
for Black Friday leftovers,
but her fridge is closed.

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 7:13 AM

Red cup, bikinis,
and fauxhawked douchebags don't mix,
except at parties.

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 7:14 AM

Perky co-ed hott
Should be experimenting
But not with this choad

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:14 AM

Tapered head signals
another meaning: Black Friday
also smells like poo.

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 7:15 AM

Christmas is now near -
Claus gives lump of coal to 'bag;
she's been very good.

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 7:17 AM

Oh, what I would give
To be those sunglasses, hung
At heaven's doorstep

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:18 AM

Patriotism gleams
on suckle-worthy shoulder;
not quite drowned by poo.

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 7:18 AM

Slow Friday Haiku -
'Hunters are out shopping, but
not for Ed Hardy.

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 7:19 AM

Some of the gel from
Choad's 'do got into his eyes
They're stuck in place, too

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:21 AM

"Wow, what's with your hair?
It's standing at attention"
"That means I like you!"

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:24 AM

No tatts, bling wears he -
just silly wristband and hair.
Smile almost earns pass.

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 7:24 AM

Dahlia Iyad
shows off her beautiful breasts
on this Black Friday

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 7:26 AM

Head butting this hott?
It can only mean one thing:
He's a real butt-head

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:26 AM

It's the third Darren
Magic doesn't twitch her nose
But his poo smell does

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:28 AM

Red bikini top
Three ubiquitous red cups
And red duct tape, too?

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:28 AM

Must correct syllabication:

Tapered head signals
another meaning: Black Friday
also smells like poo.

7:15 AM

Could read:

Tapered head signals
different meaning: Black Friday
also smells like poo.

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 7:31 AM

Super cute brunette
Ponders exit strategy
Will knee him in groin

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:33 AM

What's with douche's duds?
Whoah, his shorts are vomiting!
Hott cringes in fear...

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:36 AM

Red cups hold Grey Goose?
Maybe The Ohio State's
South Padre Spring Break.

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 7:37 AM

Shirtless drunk at party
red cup and a sidearm
douche not all that bright

# posted by

Jesus X. Crutch : 7:38 AM

Despite turkey feast,
the tryptophan didn't work -
he is wide awake.

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 7:39 AM

My drink's spiked with X!
You wanna hit of this, babe?
Hey, my shorts threw up!!!

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:39 AM

Succulent sideboob -
the meaning of Thanksgiving.
Sacrifice the choad.

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 7:40 AM

Douche hair can't conceal
His non-Hardy Affliction:
Scalp goiter pylon.

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:44 AM

Where is everyone?
Hangovers confusing days?
Dow killing Haiku.

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 7:45 AM

Christmas is coming
The goose is getting fat
Please kill this douchebag with a baseball bat

(Umm, sorry, too many syllables.
But kill him anyway.)

# posted by

Snoop Douchey Bagg : 7:46 AM

Hot alcohol breath;
Bulleit whiskey burns my skull;
Black Friday indeed.

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:47 AM

Front page will be bare
if regulars don't show up.....
POST FROM THE DAMN MALL!

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 7:47 AM

I am in love with
Hottie Boobie Suckle Thigh.
She makes my pants tight.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:51 AM

Inspiration wanes
Not much rage-inducement here -
just homo and hott.

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 7:52 AM

Worse douchebaggery
is sure to follow that night
when they're at the club.

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 7:55 AM

Front page pickings slim -
I have half today's comments;
Jay posts no winners.

'Hunters too busy
shopping or with the Douchies
to post their haiku.

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 8:00 AM

Robert Down syndrome douche
Turdacious

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:03 AM

Hey, Smilin' Bob's son,
Smiling' Knob, advertising
Herbal Rectum Clench.

# posted by

DarkSock : 8:04 AM

Regs full o' turkey
Of course by "turkey" I mean
80 proof rotgut.

# posted by

DarkSock : 8:07 AM

Red cup matches top
Side-boob is so enticing
Wish top would fall off

# posted by

IdahoHottPotato : 8:10 AM

Young Paula Abdul
Addiction started right here
I blame this douchebag

# posted by

IdahoHottPotato : 8:11 AM

I ignore skull pain;
The last of the full grown men -
That is The DarkSock.

Now I will go drink
My skinny soy latte with
17 Midols.

# posted by

DarkSock : 8:13 AM

His tapered hair do
Is reminiscent of what
I shat in the can.

# posted by

Frodouche Baggins : 9:42 AM

Jerry Lewis bag
Visions of Abdul when hott
Red cups mock cosmos.

# posted by

Zen Wizard : 10:21 AM

Look-A-Like Party!
A Robert Downey Jr
and Paula Abdul.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:28 AM

Again, Medusa
sleeps late and misses haiku
needs an alarm clock

was up late last night
thinking of massaging
Elizabeth Banks

Mr. White caught me
down in the basement playroom
perched on the washer

I was just about
on high-speed spin cycle
when the lights went on

# posted by

Medusa Oblongata : 11:10 AM

Paula Abdul hott
Turns back on Alan Cummings
For his teeth smell bad

# posted by

Anonymous : 2:14 PM

Someone call rehab -
Robert Downey's high again!
Cup is Iron Man.

# posted by

Holbrooks Douchestershire Sauce : 4:05 PM

Hott is smiling as
She's being offered a drink.
Wait till she turns round...

# posted by

Holbrooks Douchestershire Sauce : 4:07 PM

I'm trying to douche
It up, while keeping eyes on
Big fucken spider!

# posted by

Holbrooks Douchestershire Sauce : 4:10 PM

Thinking "Nottadouche",
But his backpack is full of
Scrote accessories.

# posted by

Holbrooks Douchestershire Sauce : 4:15 PM

Nah, he seems ok.
URC and fwip only.
She is sure hott though.

# posted by

Holbrooks Douchestershire Sauce : 4:17 PM

He looks like a cartoon character;
perhaps, the Phillip Morris Cancer-Pixie.

# posted by

badVlad : 4:39 PM

There are two kinds of
red cups, and you, sir, are hold-
ing the boring one.

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 11:33 PM

If that's a cell phone
hangin' on her tush, let's call
her for a quickie.

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 11:37 PM

Composition in
red, white, black, neutrals and hap
py douched-out faces.

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 11:44 PM

What with his peaked head
and her twin peaks, there's gonna
be a Mount Rush-More.

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 11:48 PM

Where she's leading him
his peaked hair will soon be flat,
his joystick straight up.

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 11:55 PM

Thank god he lacks the
tatts, and she sure has the tits
to make her tasty.

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 11:58 PM

"Drink up," he said, "there's
even more comin' atcha
from the Big Red Rod."

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 12:01 AM

With cute bods and smiles
such as theirs, why rain on their
happy sex-parade?

# posted by

whoop-di-douche : 12:23 AM

Robert Downey rocks:
"Poster child for birth control"
asks hott to "Do me!"

# posted by

Don't wheeze the douche! : 4:09 AM

ubiquitous cups
red, frothy and delicious
real ones or implants?

-haberdouchery

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:16 PM

Back from holiday. Sorry I missed the hijinx.

I would like to add that it's sad that a hottie so young and snackworthy should suffer from boob job slippage so early in life.

And her pet pinhead should really have that anthill looked at.

# posted by

Baron Von Goolo : 1:54 PM

A genuine douche
has no soul; just a facade.
...but this guy looks nice.

# posted by

simon : 1:58 PM

Friday, November 28, 2008

Friday Haiku

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