Michael Godard?
THAT'S a famous artist these days?

FUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

wow
 

Anime has come to life in the form of poo
 

Michael Goddard falls into the same self-indulgent and deliriously decadent douchebag category as Criss Angel, Mystery, Benji Madden, Brett Michael, etc…

He and his ilk pawn their art in the form of spineless worms, dangled in front of their mentally stunted minions...

... mouths agape, they wait for the next wriggling invertebrate that mommy bird brings home.
 

On the other hand, pictures of Peyton are always a good thing.

Maybe it’s her eyes…

… but, something about her tells me she’d allow me the marvelous satisfaction of smelling her aunt Mabel’s recently discarded urinary incontinence pad… if, and only if, I performed micro-fellatio with surgical precision on the deflated sphincter of her pet Siamese Fighting Fish, while sustaining a perched pirouette on ice skates in her bathtub… dressed, of course, in a cod piece fashioned from the jawbone of a black caiman and mounted by way of dingo whiskers; with the sounds of Ruben Studdard’s acclaimed Celebrate Me Home, pulsating from the Ipod® Home Theater dangling by a strand of dental floss from the nape of my neck.

And I think I’d be UP for that challenge.


I really think it is her eyes.
 

I don't know much about art but I know what I like. And Godard's Blackjack and Coke is a piece of shit.
 

The sum of the Fung Friday post links is the great crisis of modernity. Definitely a liquor night.
 

If that is HJBBAD he is not looking Pharoah-like. No one is going to bow down and "say hello to his Majesty." He looks like a dork.
 

But let's thank Barack's Mystical Unicorns of Hope and Change that Fung will not go thirsty!
 

And with that, I’m off to another 56 hour break from sobriety. But, I have to somehow find enough time and whiskey to pare down my Douchie nominations.

And remember boys and girls, just because ∫amuя∆¥ Wãdswörth Löngfëllow S©rote always drives against the flow of traffic on the freeways, doesn’t mean you have to follow suit. Be safe. And by ‘safe’, I mean drunk.

Adios, mi amigos! TARMAL!
 

Holy shit! I looked at Godards page and he has a "Godard with Friends and Famous Clients" section in which there is a pic of emense deuchefusion!!! Cris Angel and Godard giving each other a "man hug" what a couple ass clowns. Warning may cause nausea!!
 

Pic reminds me that I haven't taken a crap all day.
 

When is Pfah going to change his handle to Ocho Scroto?
 

finally finished the job that has prevented me from extensive douche mockery... with just enough time to ring up unemployment & say fuck Fung, before departing for Puerto Vallarta for a week

that's right gonna drape my pale bulbulous body in black speedos & douche it up on the Mexican sea shore... or as my pal Jeff says, "gonna get some tasty waves & tasty babes"... Brah!

see ya in Dec. my lil' baghunting buddies!
 

I'll thank you not to mock my Foreigner belt buckle. Like DJ Bellobag, I don't need instructions to know how to rock.

Or in Fung's case, I don't need the sun to get a tan.

And Godard might be a cool guy, if he wasn't trying so hard to be a tool. There's hope for my career after seeing this choad wow them with his sell out choadness. I guess nobody wants art from moody drunken assholes that never leave their parents basements...sigh...

...like HJBBABHH...
 

You need to release another book...Fung: A Study in Doucheness
 

What is a HJBBAD?
 

Anyone else notice how effeminate Peyton's boyfriend appears to be?

These Hollywood types go for either total douche packages or emasculated men.

Heidi Montag and her Ken doll also come to mind.

There's no way that tool is doing the filthy borderline illegal things I would do to that tart, Heidi. Then I'd start in on LC and make her wish her parents were never in the same room together.
 

He looks like the love child of the Easter Bunny and the Slim Jim guy.
 

Michael Godard is not "the #1 best selling artist in the U.S."

He also is not "considered one of the most prolific and influential artists of our time."

I graduated from an art school and his name was never mentioned. I couldn't even tell you what genre this would fall under other than "Shit." This dbag is not only a liar, but also an incredibly shitty, pathetic excuse of an artist.

Visiting his website and viewing his art makes me feel embarrassed for him. The only way to cleanse myself of the shame is through heavy, heavy drinking.
 

Having never heard of this Godard guy I checked out his "art".

It looks like the black velvet painting version of digital age art. The stylings are fairly interesting though not compelling enough to purchase or to want to take a cruise with him ( available through his website).

His apperance is full-on douche as is necessary to snooker aging rockers and rock fans into eternally chasing "cool".

Douche decision: no opinion.
 

Let's face it: if Van Gogh or Rembrandt were alive today, they'd be painting olives dancing on martini glasses. And rocking the mandana and a belt buckle shaped like their name. And I'm a Chines jet pilot.
 

Fung, I was out working with the steers, and I stepped in fung!

ASvB
 

I looked through Michael Godard's portfolio and I didn't see one single painting of dogs playing poker. I surmise this is something he's working his way up to.

Maybe you gotta do the black velvet painting of Jesus before you can attempt the poker dogs. There must be a hierarchy of shit art or something.

What are the odds the first "artist" on Tag's label has a song about rims and avoiding underarm residue on their debut album?
 

i clicked the TAG record label link and closed it as soon as i found out the header bar says "hip hop." it was that easy.

that being said, rock music has its fair share of douchebaggery too, such as Buckcherry.

and Guns n' Roses. you just have to talk about them now that Chinese Democracy has finally come out. i love me a Sweet Child of Mine every now and then, but that doesn't mean Axle Rose isn't a douchebag. and Chinese Democracy (and the whole 17-year long drama behind it) is kinda douchey too, even though the album itself has its bright moments.
 

"Fung"'s real name is Michael Caso. LMAO! He's like 5'7, 220 lbs and he's a roided motherfucker.
 

hm?

what was that?
 

Friday Fung. It's a brown reason to live.

Thank you, DB1. Thank you.

Fuck Fung.
 

@ Steve L.

"Bright Moments!" RRK is the shit!
 

I think the first time I saw Michael Godard's "work" or heard about him was on the AETV (home of Criss Angel!) reality show "Inked"

-which was about a sackful of Fuckups and Long Beach Douchebags with no hiring practices or organization who try to run a business in Las Vegas.

Somewhere in between fights, pissing off all the 'clients', and people outside jail acting all 'hard', Godard jumped in there like an olive.

-in a Martini made of old female hobo piss, light hydrocarbons, and of course, The Herp.

You should catch a few reruns!
 

As I roll out of bed at 10:30 in the morning, I am confronted by this, and tempted to roll my happy ass back in bed before something triggers a personally cataclysmic realization that everything America has worked for for more than 200 years is about to slide down the drain in the span of one generation.

I need a beer, but I'm not sure if it's legal here to get blitzed before noon and streak down main street naked in a blithering haze during a blizzard.
 

Ocho Scroto would be a mighty name for a Mexican grindcore band.

Had Katrina not fisted the entire gulf coast a museum I had worked on that was 6 months out from completion was going to have Jasper Johns (and a smidge o' Warhol). Now we've pushed backed to 2010. After looking at Godard pleaese please let Johns still be available...
 

Godard is not an artist. he's a fucking hack. that's not art you stupid asshole. you are creating shit that will be sold on tv to 64 year old women.

bitch, please.

see Sol LeWitt, Marcel Duchamp, Rauschenberg, and Kosuth to represent art with meaning. jesus christ, you're a total fucking joke.
 

Boss not to question your authority with regard to guidelines or rule setting but I see nary a hott in either of this pics.

Douche Ree

The one, the only, SLAP!

I'm sure I could find more but I don't really want to provoke your ire and honestly I too lazy and drunk to keep looking. Besides I can totally understand why you'd want to over look Slap...who wouldn't want to forget that oozing mass of douche? God knows I've lost many a night to single malts trying to rid myself of the image of that cum receptacle he calls an asschin.

@ Sock

When you gonna haul your carcass over to Houston to help out with Ike? Should have known a hurricane named after a brother would be a bad mofo, Ike beat us as badly as he beat Tina.
 

and Jasper Johns is not someone to be made fun of.


you want a 'pooiest artist'?



try Yoko Ono.
 

Perhaps had ye perurused Gueerraurauuds line of ceagaueurs ye would nay be so quick to judge
 

Oh thank god. I have an art education degree, and the first time I went into a gallery where Godard's work was shown, I remember thinking, "This stuff is cutesy shit. Terrible art." But then I thought, "Nah... I've been gallery hopping for three hours and perhaps the wine has just clouded my taste." I went back the next day, sober. It was still shit.

I should have known it was made by a douchebag.
 

@pfah ocho scroto: Oh come ON, now! -Let's be honest: Godard is the modern Winslow Homer.

:D :D :D :D :D
 

Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light tm is the most prolific and top "artist" of our American time, DIDN'T YOU KNOW THAT??????

Plus, he has marketing down so pat that he makes Godard look like a mere piker. Kinkade puts his "art" on every conceivable item that can be marketed, and makes up some more just to market in 3-D. Although I must say, I've NEVER seen a vibrator with his art on it.
Or a prophylactic.

Now THAT would be real cute.

Just sayin.'
 

Donkey Douche is a criminal?
http://www.thedirty.com/?p=61080#comments
 

How many proms this Oompa been to? Or are all these pics from the same batch?
 

Having taught technical "art" a good number of years, I would classify Godard as an opportunist technical illustrator of high airbrush skills. He has mastered shapes and shadows very well. He knows his way around realistic representation with a touch of weird fantasy thrown in, whimsy if you will, and Lilliputian at that. His rendering style is obsessive-compulsive neatnik. His craftsmanship is tremendous. It figures, given his particular schooling. He best fits the category of advertising illustrator ,which is where he belongs. Don't knock it too much, it pays well if you're good at it.

He just wants to be a douchebag sort and market to other douchebags, and maybe college dorm room poster art fans. I wonder what PTBarnum would have said of his stuff.

Just don't call it fine art.
 

Steve Zodiac/Troy Tempest: I just found this article on Wired about Stock Brokers and their Industry.

I think you'd really dig it. The revelations will make you laugh; -shake your head & cry a bit, but definitely laugh.

http://www.portfolio.com/executives/features/2007/11/19/Blaine-Lourd-Profile#page1

Cheers!,
WD
 

@anon 10:28 --

Whoa... That's some very interesting shit you linked to!

Damn. Drugs, strippers, steroids, robbery, informants, tanning! It's got everything!

I really liked DD's rambling defense at the bottom of the comments section. Yeah, if I looked that beat I'd fight for cash, too.

Stay classy, DD.
 

I m looking forward to next update!
 

If Michael Godard makes art, then I fart 2-ton purple gorillas wearing caps, bowties, and jackets.
 

@ wonkeydouche:

Thanks! interesting article!

The guy sounds like a total douchebag, and the world he lives in, well, to quote Devo: "There's something about the way you taste makes me wanna clear my throat."

Re: Michael Godard - I agree with whooptidouche - he is a commercial illustrator, nothing more. The word for his crap is "kitsch". He only has traction because contemporary culture has spent the past 20+ years chasing its tail in the black sinkhole called "postmodernism" has removed any sense of depth or quality.

Two hundred years ago, he would have trained as a portraitist and made good money. Photography destroyed that trade. From there, it is all downhill for "art" which soon became the religion of secular society. Once the notions of "the sublime" and "wonder" as communicated through the art object were reified and commodified, then tere was no more point to even making the effort.

Hence, the duality of art today: on the one end there is the rise of "installations" creating environments of understanding through the arrangement of concrete objects, and on the other hand the opposite: internet based actions of virtualised gestures for tactical action.

In other words: a failure.

People will want pretty pictures on the wall. Douchebag scrotewanks like MICHAEL Godard (good gawd - talk about a misappropriation of a name - I wouldn't be surprised if Jean-Luc vomits or has explosive diarrhoea every time he thinks of Michael) simply fill in the gap, and build "personal mythologies" in order to develop a delusional fanbase around him.

Gotta go. I have to go mark some student papers re: Adorno's "Dialectics of Enlightenment", and then move some furniture around the house. Fuck. What a nasty weekend.
 

'Tis not Fung, 'tis but a Proompa

Or has Fung grown so douchey that he can reproduce clones asexually?
 

@ Troy T.

In this Idiocratic society you talk like a fag. Which is a compliment.
 

Fung Fridays -- i like it! Keep the photos coming!
 

@Troy T.

In this faggoty society you sound like an idiocrat.


@jchoma

Break out a little Dali, nice.

@Michael Godard and anyone who thinks what he does is "art:"

just goes to prove that fame is more important than substance.

That's about the strongest statement I can offer on that subject.
 

If you meet a new neighbor and they have a Godard on their wall you can pretty much write them off as people you don't want to spend time with.

First time I saw this douchebag's work was on a cruise. I thought, "I couldn't do this nor would I want to, but the dude is selling this shit for A LOT OF MONEY!" This is the kind of "art" you see a knock off of hanging in the background of amateur porn. Along with the empty Bud Light cans, bong, and overall messy status of the rented condo they're shooting it in.
 

Peyton List's boyfriend has a face big enough for two heads. And I'd be happy to smash both.
 

K so I googled Michael Caso, and found THIS:

http://furezhilton.blogspot.com/search/label/Guido%20Nation
 

A Fung motivational poster.....
 

michael godard is a piece of shit.

i have never, ever seen an artist so full of himself in my life, much less ever seen one try to make his art a vehicle for his shitty personality
 

Michael Godard = Patrick Nagel of the 21st century
 

I'm looking at the background. Is Fung an usher at a wedding? One shudders at the unsavory images of THAT wedding party. HIS and HIS towels would be the best gift for such an occasion, no doubt.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

@ Senor Squash

Godard wishes he was Nagel. He's this century's Michael Bedard.
 

DB1 -

I'm calling bullshit. Does it just happen that every friday you get emailed a new fung picture? Clearly not. Stop hording these pictures - are you sitting on a stack of unpublished Fung material? Give it to us now - all at once. I need this - I want to OD on awesomeness.
 

@anon, 7:14 a.m. -

He had some Bra!! pics running through about 2-3 consecutive Friday Attic Cleanings, so maybe the HoS members are appearing in cycles. Hell, we might get some new Gator pics soon, or maybe more Joey Poo-rsche, or even some Ab Lobster nonsense.

Stay tuned - that's a great lead-in to this year's Douchies.
 

I showed this picture of Fung to my sister and she said he looks gay.
 

I just want to see a different Samurai Scrote photo.

Without that particular badass headband.

And maybe without the tinted glasses.
 

I'd bet a dollar to a doughnut that Michael Godard does not go over very well in his Temple or synagogue hallways.

He should graduate to black velvet paintings and market in truck stops...or add little lights to the mix. Roadside stands also would work, especially near some bars in college country.

His brand of kitsch reminds me of a "painting" we saw back in 1983 of a semi going down a mountain road at night, with Jesus standing next to it, and tiny little lights all lit up on the cab and trailer. Jesus was protecting the driver as he drove a treacherous slope. I regret to this day not buying it for the bar room, or just to have on the garage wall during a garage sale.

Nothing like a tongue-in-cheek kitsch "brahahahahahah!" at the neighbors. Folk art at its finest.
 

Dude almost looks sad to be such an ultra scrote.
 

How could any one think that hair looks good. Good help us all.
 

REALLY!?? IF ALIENS DO EXSIST AND HAPPEN TO COME ACROSS MAGNIFICENT DOUCHES LIKE THIS, WE ARE ALL SCREWED!