Yeah, no one's on the site this morning, so I'll just sip my lapsang souchong tea and mock the 'bags by myself.
 

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Douche went the extra mile and cut the arms off of two shirts. Epic.
He also appears to be enjoying a UCC of some urine colored liquid.
Tastey.
 

Samir's an optical illusionist - he thinks the arm tat and tapered head means he doesn't look at all like a douchebag.

Like Criss Angel, he sucks and smells like poo.
 

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@ DB1

My wife has me putting up Christmas lights. When I get done with that chore, it's off to my mother's and father's home for dinner.

Yea me...

I introduced a high school kid to HCwDB last night. He is from the Dallas area. He thought the site kicked ass! I'm sure this funny little fucker will start writing on here soon.

Well, gotta go, these freaking lights aren't gonna hang themselves. C Ya and pray I don't fall off the ladder.

I wish I could pay BCS to put 'em up. That would be a sight to behold. I could hear it now, "Hey Adolf, who's the degenerate in his pajamas putting the Christmas lights on your house? Oh he's BCS, he writes funny shit on a website, and occasionally links to pictures that are so gross, a blind man couldn't look at them."

Oh yea, boobies!

ASvB
 

well, we know which arm he pulls the pork with now.
 

Adolf, enjoy the festivities, and we're only too glad to see the 'bagmocking tradition continue with the next generation of "h8rz."
 

If I stick my finger in her ear, I can tickle her chin AT THE SAME TIME! huh uh huh... that'll be funny...
 

All he lifts with his right hand is drinks.

She, however, is lifting that black lacy top up nicely.
 

hott is tres spankable.
 

They're both spankable. Her, with my lightly lotioned hand, and him, with a red hot poker.
 

samir, the slurpee machine is not going to fix itself and when you're done restock the scratch-off lottery tickets.
 

Samir, employee of the month for 2 straight months at the Trenton Bowl-A-Rama (conveniently located off Exit 30) demonstrates his patented "bowling ball shocker" to new waitress sHarEe.
 

"20 bucks sez she can lactate into the cup THIS far away".
 

He eerily resembles Mohammad Atta.
 

She asked him if she could use his phone. He obliged with stupid gesture. She called him a dipshit. He cried yellow years into clear cup.

Is this the "telephone shocker" or the "Hawaii 5-0 shocker"? Book 'em, Bag-o!

Wow, this is a rare combo indo-bag/oldbag, n'est pas? Unless my eyes are tricking me, he looks a little more crinkly above the collar than the averave DB. Of course, late nights behind the Kwik-E-Mart counter, drinking burnt coffee and eating stale chips while the flickering fluorescent bulbs overhead suck out your soul will do that.

Either way, the fwip is starting to anger me. Who ever came up with this tonsorial abortion? And why is it repeated, ad nauseum, as if it were a good idea the first time? When will it be over? I'm thinking I might take a cue from the 1980's and start a big poisoning scare, but instead of Tylenol it'll be hair products. What kind of shit does one use to achieve such follicular ridiculousness, anyway? Oh, wait, I know....
 

@ DWtD (Don't Wheeze the Douche)

I am happy to announce that my lights are complete.
Now it's off to do Medussa's lights.
Anyone know where I can get red lights in the shape of
Devils and Gimps at?

ASvB
 

Bags like this guy make me angry.

This doesn't:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIX1wqrGSjY

How can you not laugh at that?
 

He leaves me gagging like when I wake up and accidentally drink the chunky milk straight outta the carton.

Sheleaves me with only one choice for breakfast...left or right?
 

@walter -- my thought too.

Too tired to mock today. I worked my bitch of job (temporary until I find another to replace the one I got recently downsized out of) yesterday. Spent nearly eleven hours dealing with people who were buying shit they didn't need on credit cards they couldn't afford.

Then I read about the mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging Long Islanders at Walmart killing a man for a flat-screen TV. Long Island -- home of Joey Porsche, right? Bastards.

I'm going back to bed, dammit.
 

@ adolf

sjglew.com has the devil lights. As for gimp lights, Laundry Gimp will be out naked and freezing in the yard and I will be yanking strings of oversize bulb lights out of his ass like anal beads.
 

"Real talk, this(with pointer finger) is a sweet tattdana of the digestive tract. Real talk, I'm totally about to chug this hott's(with pinky) urine. Real talk, my left arm's disproportion is due to my ginormous watch. Real talk, my ear looks like a prosthetic vagina."
 

I find it very comforting that I can link up to the Samurai Scrote thread by clicking on Medusa Oblongata's avatar.... thanks M. O. you gorgon delight!
 

That she even has to be in his presence is wrong on so many levels. Hopefully, he is about to drink a clear cup full of his own pee laced with hemlock.
 

Oh, Creature! How are you? *strokes your velvety nose* and how is/was your trip?

Yes, I keep close to SS. More out of fear than devotion, really.
 

glad/sad to report that the only d-bag sitings in old mexico were vacationing americans... lots of fratchoad douchewank college types with a dripping trail of bleethe

no mexi-douche to report, as they are mexicans, after all & they call it machismo... it's culturally inspired

@ M. O. the weather & water were warm... as well as the comradeship! good fishing too
 

blonde hotts chesty adornments need to be put in a titty vise... & by titty vise, I mean the creatch's paws
 

Back stage at the Young Magicians Camp, young Tony T. will attempt his most daring trick yet:
to insert his left index finger and pinky finger into Helga's twat and rectum simultaneously with such force her eyeballs will pop out of her skull into a cup of Miller Lite.

Then, for the moment of truth, Tony T. will attept to make her eyeballs disappear by drinking the beer.

----------------------

Later, young Tony T. is admitted to the emergency room complaining of intestinal pain as he tries to pass Helga's peepers through his digestive system.
 

Why do I get the feeling he's grabbing the drink so he can pour it between her ample black-lace trimmed tits?

Why do I get the impression that the tatt on his right arm is a copy of an illustration by the poet William Blake?

Why do I think he's really a two-peckered billygoat looking for a two-orifice hit?

I don't know why, I just do.
 

It's a Good Thing to know that DB1 luxuriates in the quaff of that smoky favorite of mine, lapsong souchong tea.

It's a Bad Thing to know that Samir here exposes his pit hair when drinking piss-yellow brew in the presence of a smiling stage one Bleeth. And has a pointy head.

It's an enigma of Good and Bad.
 

My wife says the Bleeth here looks a lot like her gynecologist. In a different costume. And with a different spouse.

She thinks the douchebag is an ugly guy and wouldn't mind if I slapped him around.

I think I'll pass on that turkey, and just give him mashed potatoes.
 

ummm yeah this guy is classic douche. but whats the deal with making "kwik-e-mart" type jokes about his ethnicity? seriously that kind of crap ruins the fun of this site. posting mindless ethnic humor makes you the biggest douche of all.
 

Lapsang Souchong is a favourite when I want something a bit different, but it doesn't match the richness and comforting aromoa of Earl Grey.

On the other hand, the stench of poo emanates from this picture. That poor girl is defiled forever.
 

"posting mindless ethnic humor makes you the biggest douche of all."

Perhaps that is so, but that does not apply if said ethnic humour is directed towards the French.
 

He's not even Arab douche1
 

@anon, 10:46 p.m. -

"posting mindless ethnic humor makes you the biggest douche of all."

Is there any humor here that is not ethnic? It seems every entry contains some ethnic humor, or I may be somewhat mistaken.
 

Are caucasians not ethnic?

Germans
Italians
Czechs
Slovenians
Croatians
Jews
French
Irish
Australians
New Zealanders
the Brits
Any country of the former USSR

In fact I know "white people" get made fun of more on this site because of their ethnicity.

Huh, when I put it that way maybe it's not so fun to be a whitey?!?

Drop the race card people and make fun of douchebags equally.

[Now start the U.S. National Athem]
 

Plinky, yes everyone is fair game, everyone except Germans.

Germans are a sweet, kind, and giving race.

Just so we are on the same page....
Germans, good.
Everyone else, open game.
Anons, keep silent, sit in corner.

ASvB
 

@ Adolf Skroatler

Are we talking before or after Hitler?

Just kidding brah.

Aside from Satan and ... errrrr, Hitler ... and the Holocaust it's pretty damn hard to make fun of the Germans in realtion to other Euro 'bags.

I mean, saying schnitzel was only funny up to the 9th grade.

But do you know who is funny? That Professor Dingle-Dorf.
That guy's a fucking madman.
 

now if Germans could just be funny...


... I'm just sayin'
 

great cars tho... love my turbo Jetta wagon!
 

wow is this the first time ever that DB1 himself landed the first comment for a pic?

it must be the hottie. look at that smile.