Monday, November 17, 2008
Xenu Laughs at You
Alien taint warlord from the planet Alpha Scroturion Five, HCwDB legend, Xenu, laughs at mere mortals who attempt to douche it up in the presence of a hot.
Only Xenu can pollute the boobie hottie suckle thigh with transcendental clarity tests and weird auditing classes, and while wearing a silk dickie.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 4:10 PM 
Comments:
Samari Scrote would carve his chest off of his body and use it as a ouiji board.
A poo-smelling ouiji board
A poo-smelling ouiji board
He stole the pink from them. You know he did. Did he try to "tan" himself the same color as his hair dye?
What a freak.
What freakin' nice boobies on blondie, though she could tone down the mascara.
What a freak.
What freakin' nice boobies on blondie, though she could tone down the mascara.
All Hail Xenu who's been douching so long he don't even bother.. Just throws a slop of shirts on, hangs a tie, and just does his own homemade tattooing nowadays..
and he still gets the beeahhtchizzz...
and he still gets the beeahhtchizzz...
# posted by 
: 4:16 PM
: 4:16 PM
Mighty Mighty Xenu. All hail.
Samurai Scrote uses Xenu's shirt as toilet paper. He likes the silky feel.
True story.
Samurai Scrote uses Xenu's shirt as toilet paper. He likes the silky feel.
True story.
Xenu
The Man, The Myth, The Legend
Foreword by a God
Coming to a book store near you
Turdacious
The Man, The Myth, The Legend
Foreword by a God
Coming to a book store near you
Turdacious
# posted by : 4:32 PM
: 4:32 PM
this pic in the Xenu collection is quite comparable to the Iran Contra during the Reagan administration. in other words, he's had his day, and may continue to shine, but this ain't his brightest moment.
it's always nice to see some natural boobage contours, even if it's attached to a plastic-faced dumb blonde. now we know how fake Lila's boobs are a few pics down.
it's always nice to see some natural boobage contours, even if it's attached to a plastic-faced dumb blonde. now we know how fake Lila's boobs are a few pics down.
Xenu laughs now and cries later.
He does, however, use DEXRON® -III MERCON® MaxLife ATF Automatic Transmission Fluid as hair gel.
He does, however, use DEXRON® -III MERCON® MaxLife ATF Automatic Transmission Fluid as hair gel.
Xenu just simply "has it."
Hence in his first photo ever on the site, the first commenter posted "HoS instantly."
He's the Albert Pujols of douches, and this pick is another MVP season.
Left hoot with the "peace sign point" (PSP) at the "palm tree pentagram" (PTP) while left hott brings the delectable tiggums.
In it 2 win it.
Hence in his first photo ever on the site, the first commenter posted "HoS instantly."
He's the Albert Pujols of douches, and this pick is another MVP season.
Left hoot with the "peace sign point" (PSP) at the "palm tree pentagram" (PTP) while left hott brings the delectable tiggums.
In it 2 win it.
You should see his penis ... it's just as colorful. Especially after he picks the scabs.
-----------------------------------
What do you get when you mate a gay rooster and Mr. T?
(hint: look at Xenu
----------------------------------
Hey conchita on the right, we know already how many cocks it takes to plug your *.
----------------------------------
This is what your kid's bus driver does in his spare time.
----------------------------------
{{snif}} {{sniff}} I smell egg foo yung, massingil, Aquanet, hamster poo, ferret spunk and patchouli.
-----------------------------------
What do you get when you mate a gay rooster and Mr. T?
(hint: look at Xenu
----------------------------------
Hey conchita on the right, we know already how many cocks it takes to plug your *.
----------------------------------
This is what your kid's bus driver does in his spare time.
----------------------------------
{{snif}} {{sniff}} I smell egg foo yung, massingil, Aquanet, hamster poo, ferret spunk and patchouli.
To insult Xenu is comparable to chasing a cigarette butt around a public toilet with my drunken piss.
There is nothing I can say about Xenu that hasn't been said since the dawn of his existence. But, christ, I would personally buy and watch all the seasons of Laguna Beach just for a chance that Natasha on the right would join me.
When Xenu talks EF Hutton listens
Hope that one hasn't been posted, it sounds familiar inside my cavernous head.
Turdacious
Hope that one hasn't been posted, it sounds familiar inside my cavernous head.
Turdacious
# posted by : 5:34 PM
: 5:34 PM
Ah, Mighty Xenu, I bow in your presence. I do not pretend to understand you. Can one ever comprehend such extraordinary douchitude? Can your sublime scrotocracy be mentally absorbed by mere mortals?
Xenu is unequaled, he is incomparable... he is peerless poo.
Xenu is unequaled, he is incomparable... he is peerless poo.
Xenus sperm looks just like those big f'n pollywogs you find in creeks and he only needs 1 to impregnate Osamas flock of virgins
Turdacious
Turdacious
# posted by : 6:24 PM
: 6:24 PM
As a child, Xenu's mom fed him Fruit Loops.....anally.....without milk......till he was a man.
# posted by : 6:27 PM
: 6:27 PM
Xenu knows the secret to Sustained Thermonuclear Fusion Reaction!
He will let us know the secret when he is "DAMN WELL READY, BITCHES!"
He will let us know the secret when he is "DAMN WELL READY, BITCHES!"
Although Xenu's tats look random and haphazard, they are actually the map to exact location of the arrival of, the Anti-Christ.
True story
True story
His chest reminds me of the wall of tattoo designs you use to choose the tattoo you want.
Points to Xenu's left nipple -----> .
"That one! I want that Spaghetti-O tattooed on my ass!"
Points to Xenu's left nipple -----> .
"That one! I want that Spaghetti-O tattooed on my ass!"
Samurai Scrote could not hold up Xenu only ball sack, I'll cut samurai some slacks since it is slighty larger then Pluto
Turdacious
Turdacious
# posted by : 6:47 PM
: 6:47 PM
Samurai Scrote could not hold up Xenu only ball sack, I'll cut samurai some slacks since it is slighty larger then Pluto
Turdacious
Turdacious
# posted by : 6:47 PM
: 6:47 PM
Mother of God. What hath we done to deserve this atrocity? Xenu bringeth douche the likes of which we have never experienced.
# posted by : 6:57 PM
: 6:57 PM
@mrs. w. - you have the best avatar any full-blooded, masculine male has every seen. Pussy rules.
-----------------------------------
Xenu has a booger farm.
-----------------------------------
Xenu has a booger farm.
@adolf skroatler
Xenu doesn't need a following. Xenu is a following all by himself. Where ever Xenu goes, there is Xenu. It's not Alpha and Omega... it is Xenu and Xenu. Xenu will outlast the cockroach.
When the sun begins to die, Xenu will fly into the sun and re-light its fire with the grease from his forehead.
But Xenu doesn't not do this for you, or for me. Xenu does ti because Xenu has nothing to prove but that Xenu can do anything.
Xenu doesn't need a following. Xenu is a following all by himself. Where ever Xenu goes, there is Xenu. It's not Alpha and Omega... it is Xenu and Xenu. Xenu will outlast the cockroach.
When the sun begins to die, Xenu will fly into the sun and re-light its fire with the grease from his forehead.
But Xenu doesn't not do this for you, or for me. Xenu does ti because Xenu has nothing to prove but that Xenu can do anything.
# posted by : 7:09 PM
: 7:09 PM
Xenu leaves his freshly skidmarked tighty whities in the nice hot dryers at laundromats as an air freshener.
Xenu thinks bcs is just "a little gay."
c'mon bcs I need this bills/browns game to cross 41 points and for the browns to lose by 5 or less.
c'mon bcs I need this bills/browns game to cross 41 points and for the browns to lose by 5 or less.
Xenu started to part the red sea but was hung over from a keg of bacardi 151, hence the grand canyon
Turdacious
Turdacious
# posted by : 7:18 PM
: 7:18 PM
Xenu likes to stay up all night filling notebooks with darksock's-momma-is-so-fat jokes.
Example:
darksock's momma is so fat ...
Audience: "How fat is she?!"
She's so fat her shadow causes a minin ice age.
Example:
darksock's momma is so fat ...
Audience: "How fat is she?!"
She's so fat her shadow causes a minin ice age.
Samurai Scrote bum fucks Xenu while Xenu bum fucks baby fur seals and still can give samurai a reach around.
Turdacious
Turdacious
# posted by : 8:02 PM
: 8:02 PM
Samurai Scorte bum fucks Xenu while Xenu bum fucks baby fur seals and still can give Samurai a reach-a-round while Samurai gives a dirty sanchez.
huh?!?
huh?!?
When the photographer presented the problem of evil to Xenu, he gave that facial expression as the solution.
seriously ladies. what the fuck!?!? please, i beg you to tell me what is appealing about this dude....while you are trying to explain it....stop and listen to how fucking dumb you sound...
# posted by : 8:29 PM
: 8:29 PM
What a fucking poser! There is NOTHING and I mean NOTHING about him that is even remotely attractive. Also (whispering)...I think he might be gay...he's wearing a pink satin shirt & tie, fo real, yo!
Xenu's tats unlock the Da Vinci Code.
Xenu's tats unlock the Da Vinci Code.
Xenu licks Samurai Scrotes balls and yells out "Sour Apples Yummy"...
ok 2 tests to study for....Bill suck, Wide Right curse continues
Go Seahawks (next season of course)
Blah
ok 2 tests to study for....Bill suck, Wide Right curse continues
Go Seahawks (next season of course)
Blah
# posted by : 9:11 PM
: 9:11 PM
Two trains just collided in my head upon seeing this. One carried water, the other carried vinegar. What sound did they make when they crashed?
That's right. DOOOOUCHE...
@HSG there may be some fear in her eyes but it's distant and weak as the bleeth has infested the body. I grieve for those perfect boobies.
Unless I make a cult of my own... hmmm... are women really that dumb that anyone with two bit tattoo design who's read three pages of Alistair Crowley gets to snuggle on a perfect bosom?
Yeah, I sound hateful, but it's hard not to be passionate when staring at perfect boobs.
That's right. DOOOOUCHE...
@HSG there may be some fear in her eyes but it's distant and weak as the bleeth has infested the body. I grieve for those perfect boobies.
Unless I make a cult of my own... hmmm... are women really that dumb that anyone with two bit tattoo design who's read three pages of Alistair Crowley gets to snuggle on a perfect bosom?
Yeah, I sound hateful, but it's hard not to be passionate when staring at perfect boobs.
I'm gonna blow everyone's mind here. That is, if anyone is still reading anything in this thread. I only have three words to tell you. But those three words will give you hours of pain, confusion, self doubt, make you a pessimist, make you a fan of Jason Mraz's music, and finally make you laugh saddly and cry happily at the same time...
Xenu Having Sex.
Yeah, think about it.
Xenu Having Sex.
Yeah, think about it.
Since the Challenger incident, Xenu is no longer allowed to masturbate on a balcony east of the Mississippi.
Xenu's cock once acquired a life of its own and went on a world-wide rampage. Later it was made into the movie "Das Boot".
I can't even begin to imagine the noises he would make while thrusting his miscolored roid-shrunk Dunkaroo in any girl's frosting cup.
When FishSlap walks into a club and sees Xenu, he then begins to understand, that hey, maybe those guys on HCwDB are right, we are just a bunch of douchebags.
ASvB
ASvB
What are the chances that Xenu was in Band, Choir, Home-Economics, or Cheerleading in high school.
ASvB
ASvB
You know what is probably an uncomfortable event, Family Reunions.
I bet his family is like, "Oh sh!t, Xenu came."
ASvB
I bet his family is like, "Oh sh!t, Xenu came."
ASvB
Every time Xenu hangs from a tree, little Mexican children come with sticks and beat his Piñata ass!
ASvB
ASvB
I just woke up thinking this was going to be a very good day, Xenu informed me otherwise and added "suck it up bitch!".
Turdacious
Turdacious
# posted by : 6:31 AM
: 6:31 AM
Xenu will be at the New Orleans Arena this Sunday enjoying a ballpunching concert by The Sword, Down and Metallica. He will be inside the main subwoofer enclosure.
I will be in the 4th row, 1st tier, front and center of the center-arena stage, avoiding his fierce gaze through the subwoofer cone as it beams across the crowd like the eye in that big burning poontang-looking thing that tried to keep killing those two little gay boys that went to toss the ring they stole from that little man that looks like Stimpy's friend into that burning mudhole thing.*
*In italics represents my Mom's summation of Lord of the Rings after I made her watch it. Her summary of Star Wars: "How am I supposed to believe that monkey can fly that airplane?"
I will be in the 4th row, 1st tier, front and center of the center-arena stage, avoiding his fierce gaze through the subwoofer cone as it beams across the crowd like the eye in that big burning poontang-looking thing that tried to keep killing those two little gay boys that went to toss the ring they stole from that little man that looks like Stimpy's friend into that burning mudhole thing.*
*In italics represents my Mom's summation of Lord of the Rings after I made her watch it. Her summary of Star Wars: "How am I supposed to believe that monkey can fly that airplane?"
Xenu once gave hedgehog acting lessons, how else could someone that ugly be a star in porn.
Turdacious
Turdacious
# posted by : 6:46 AM
: 6:46 AM
Xenu saw in his benevolence to allow DarkSock score two floor tickets to the Eagles concert before it sold out. However, in his maliciousness he made sure they were way back by the sound board and cost $200 FUCKING DOLLARS EACH.
I hope Xenu provides a jumbo-tron...at least I don't have to see Joe Walsh's balloon knot of a face up close. Or Timothy Schmidt's skull-looking head.
I hope Xenu provides a jumbo-tron...at least I don't have to see Joe Walsh's balloon knot of a face up close. Or Timothy Schmidt's skull-looking head.
BCS: If you wake up today, thank you for that Bobby Hacker video. That was the most fucked up thing I've seen since I've seen
RubberJohnny.
The whole office is going around saying "GET OUT YOUR FUCKING CHECKBOOK!!!" I'm thinking about writing it into the contract I'm drafting right now, just to see if they actually re
RubberJohnny.
The whole office is going around saying "GET OUT YOUR FUCKING CHECKBOOK!!!" I'm thinking about writing it into the contract I'm drafting right now, just to see if they actually re