Friday, December 12, 2008
Best Ass Pear: Ass Not What Your Country Can Do For You
The voters went for hearty/beefy over lithe and plump, after a tight, warm and firm debate. That jiggled. Like jello. And another euphemism for buttocks.
But really, the fact that all three pics have entered our lives means that we're all winners. As desert douche puts it:
It's got to be Ass Not What Your Country Can Do. Her delectable behind is nicely round in a natural state, while the other two are bending over for maximum curvature.
"nicely round in a natural state." I believe I read that in the Taber's Medical Dictionary under "Slammin' Ass Pear." Also note the scrote's expression on the left. Kind of sums it up.
Congrats to Ass Not What Your Country Can Do For You for a well deserved 2008 Douchie Award in the Best Ass Pear category. May your melonic butt melons continue to subtly ripple through our collective unconscious for many a moon. And by moon, I mean, uhm, moon.
And, on an unrelated note, props to FHM for knowing quality when they see it.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 10:09 AM 
Comments:
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Can't go wrong with booty. All three had my vote and what I mean by vote is you know what I mean (blushes)
Her ass is like a double order of ribs: first, you just stare, then you drool, and in the end, all you're left with is a lot of bone(r)s.
# posted by 
: 10:34 AM
: 10:34 AM
That photo perfectly captured the moment that she hit her apex. She should have had a body cast made that very day so it could be rendered in bronze for posterity.
- Douchey Smurf
- Douchey Smurf
# posted by : 10:41 AM
: 10:41 AM
Her ass is the quintassential ass of all asses.
I asked in the thread, though: did Moon Pie get overlooked? She'd have been a great contender, though I'm quite happy with this winner. Quite happy.
(Looks down)
Ummmmm, uhhhhh, gotta go.....
I asked in the thread, though: did Moon Pie get overlooked? She'd have been a great contender, though I'm quite happy with this winner. Quite happy.
(Looks down)
Ummmmm, uhhhhh, gotta go.....
"Also note the scrote's expression on the left. Kind of sums it up."
Yeah, like me, he thought so hard about motorboating those sweet asscheeks that it made him 'tarded.
Yeah, like me, he thought so hard about motorboating those sweet asscheeks that it made him 'tarded.
I guess the people have spoken but I really wanted Ass Pear to win. I blame myself. Maybe if I had campaigned harder, raised more money.....
# posted by : 10:51 AM
: 10:51 AM
I think we are all winner with this category.
Can't wait for the Golden Globes announcement . .
Can't wait for the Golden Globes announcement . .
# posted by : 10:51 AM
: 10:51 AM
This is a great day for america. and by great day for america i mean great day for IOBs. which i plan to have for the rest of the day.
I am a booty man and this hott has one of the best. I am in love....and by love I mean I have a raging boner
# posted by : 10:58 AM
: 10:58 AM
Mia Sara Hott may have a Douchie-worthy ass as well - too bad she didn't have that dress lifted a little higher.....
Anonymous, even though she didn't win the election, #2 is still going to get a massive stimulous package.
# posted by : 11:04 AM
: 11:04 AM
Nice rump, but waist like that of a basset. Melon was slighted!
Still, if I were lying half-dead in a hospital and either of these three took a dump in my IV, I'd probably spring back to life, mend my ways, and lead a better existence henceforth.
Yummy!
Still, if I were lying half-dead in a hospital and either of these three took a dump in my IV, I'd probably spring back to life, mend my ways, and lead a better existence henceforth.
Yummy!
I just tried to beat my IOB down with a rubber spatula so that i can concentrate on work. ass pear stopped it. She and samurai scrote should try to re populate Mt. Olympus.
She was my 2nd choice - She is assalicious... congrats ANWYCCDFY (jeez let's make a longer name next time LOL)
I would bury my
face so deep in her ass that
I'd need to have my
mail sent to her crotch.
Ass Not What Your Country Can
Do For You, congrats!
face so deep in her ass that
I'd need to have my
mail sent to her crotch.
Ass Not What Your Country Can
Do For You, congrats!
Ass Not has more wiggle, jiggle and giggle on her backside than darksock's mom doing the River Dance in a vat of perfectly chilled double-dark cherry Jell-O while eating a live octopus.
@pfah 11:08
Dude, you're using the metric side of the ruler.
Sorry bud you're not batting with an 8" slugger.
Dude, you're using the metric side of the ruler.
Sorry bud you're not batting with an 8" slugger.
@ plinky-
were you measuring pfah's business while he was "asleep" again? You gotta stop that dude. He's gonna call the cops eventually.
were you measuring pfah's business while he was "asleep" again? You gotta stop that dude. He's gonna call the cops eventually.
Getting?
Thank all that is holy for Ass Not, the image of her loveliness is forever etched in my brain, a permanent deposit in the spank bank.
I wonder how many mornings of my lifetime I will approach the day with a smile and sense of purpose thanks in no small part to that perfect ass.
Thank all that is holy for Ass Not, the image of her loveliness is forever etched in my brain, a permanent deposit in the spank bank.
I wonder how many mornings of my lifetime I will approach the day with a smile and sense of purpose thanks in no small part to that perfect ass.
It seems I've glued my hand to my member using my own man paste as the bonding agent. I wonder if it's better for my naked body to be discovered in the advanced stages of rigor mortis in my dorm room or if I should swallow my pride and nakedly ass for help from a dorm mate?
d.baggins, that is the worst avatar I've seen in some while, and it ruins the notion of a Perfect Ass on this thread.
No one seems to have ever mentioned the seemingly large piece of vertical wood helping to hoist Ass Not into the air. Directly under her knees.
No one seems to have ever mentioned the seemingly large piece of vertical wood helping to hoist Ass Not into the air. Directly under her knees.
# posted by : 10:02 PM
: 10:02 PM
@ whoop
Yeah it's a total boner killer. My initial thought was that it was DarkSocks mom but after I gave it fellatio I knew better, the lingering aftertaste didn't have the usual 12 day old mackerel left in the sun to fester tanginess I've grown accustomed to.
Yeah it's a total boner killer. My initial thought was that it was DarkSocks mom but after I gave it fellatio I knew better, the lingering aftertaste didn't have the usual 12 day old mackerel left in the sun to fester tanginess I've grown accustomed to.
Seeing this a second time does not dull the utter magic of this girl's ass. Holy fucking shit the unspeakable things I would do to her...
FYI, tony the tiger was not a homosapien, nor were his stripes blue. That commercial was just a joke.
i would seriously consider tattoo removal surgery, OR rather yet a lobotomy...
good f*ing luck you sad waste of leather and shame.
i"m sure if your parents could see you they would vomit
THANKS FOR THE PERPETUAL ENTERTAINMENT!
i would seriously consider tattoo removal surgery, OR rather yet a lobotomy...
good f*ing luck you sad waste of leather and shame.
i"m sure if your parents could see you they would vomit
THANKS FOR THE PERPETUAL ENTERTAINMENT!
FYI, tony the tiger was not a homosapien, nor were his stripes blue. That commercial was just a joke.
i would seriously consider tattoo removal surgery, OR rather yet a lobotomy...
good f*ing luck you sad waste of leather and shame.
i"m sure if your parents could see you they would vomit
THANKS FOR THE PERPETUAL ENTERTAINMENT!
i would seriously consider tattoo removal surgery, OR rather yet a lobotomy...
good f*ing luck you sad waste of leather and shame.
i"m sure if your parents could see you they would vomit
THANKS FOR THE PERPETUAL ENTERTAINMENT!
FYI, tony the tiger was not a homosapien, nor were his stripes blue. That commercial was just a joke.
i would seriously consider tattoo removal surgery, OR rather yet a lobotomy...
good f*ing luck you sad waste of leather and shame.
i"m sure if your parents could see you they would vomit
THANKS FOR THE PERPETUAL ENTERTAINMENT!
i would seriously consider tattoo removal surgery, OR rather yet a lobotomy...
good f*ing luck you sad waste of leather and shame.
i"m sure if your parents could see you they would vomit
THANKS FOR THE PERPETUAL ENTERTAINMENT!
Guys like big bums ... unfortunately I'm stuck with a white girl ass. Hers is nice to look at though, must admit. Although what's it gonna look like in a few years? ha
We do these things...not because they are easy...but because we are hard. -Just MC for JFK
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# posted by : 11:08 PM
: 11:08 PM << Home
