He is poo, and I would still steal her outfit off of their hotel suite floor. IMHO she is the hottest hot he has been with thus far.
 

I hate him.
 

This chap looks as stable as Fozzy the Bear after spending a week in an off-the-strip Vegas hotel geeking on 8-balls and being the go-between for a Beeker and Swedish Chef fuck sandwich. And when they were done abusing hiss ass, they dumped him in French Lick, IN and told him to hitchike his ass up to Chicago for his "gay little magic show."
















Or something like that.
 

Crissy has pretty much that same face in every photo I've ever seen of him. I've seen stale bread that's more expressive.
 

@ Plinky

I love you.

@ Ash

I love you too. And your pretty shoe. Wear those over to the playpen and I'll put on the blue rubber catsuit. It feels as nice as it looks.

@ Criss Angel

Crappy
Retarded
Icky
Side
Show

Congratulations, I knew you could do it. And by do it, I mean taste my boot at 25 miles per hour.
 

Besides looking like a dirtier version of a crack-addled hobo, our buddy Criss likes to make "music" videos.

If you make a song that sounds like Brokencyde, except even more tone deaf, you are auto-douche. Look on his works, and despair.
 

@ Mr. White

I weep. I made it to :31 of Criss.

And then I decided, as long as I was suffering, to see what all the fuss was about Brokencyde.

I weep more.

I will need a fearsome scourging to free my body of the pain that plagues my soul. Tonight, I hand the whips to you, have no mercy on me. For I have stared into the gaping maw of hell and never again shall the light of goodness shine in my heart.
 

i thought this was John Walker Lindh, the American Taliban.
 

AAAAARRRGGGHHH!

someone cleaned out my pee trap & flung it on this dudes face!
 

he takes the homeless hipsterbag look to a whole new catastrophic level.

i don't know who this hott is, but i'd let her crissen my angel!
yowza!
 

@medusa

Fear not: All can and will be cleansed in the playpen.

Or as the philosopher/poets in Brokencyde once positied: "Let's get fucking freaky now...MMAAAAHHHHHHHHH"
 

Crap. Every thing this guy does is crap.

He is a craptastic crapper of crap that makes crap feel like crap.








Apologies to Peter Boyle
 

@ Vin douchal 1:06

You really shouldn't talk about Mr. White like that. He really is a pretty sharp guy.
Sure he's got that prison record, but that doesn't make him crappy.
 

I can't wait to go to Vegas, so I can dress up in Medusa's blue rubber cat suit and throw shoes at this furry gorilla anus. (apologies to all gorillas out there)
 

Cris 2 words

FUCK

and

YOU!

Ok maybe that was 3 but still fuck you! Someone should teach you the same trick they taught Jimmy Hoffa. Now that was fucking magic.
 

Criss Angel? Really?

Oh well, I'm just a newbie. I still thought Marissa Miller was hotter and her "husband" was at least as douchey as Mindfuck Guy here.

I did not, however, know about the lameassed Cirque du Soleil gig. That would sway my opinion a bit.
 

Criss Angel is a dirty, sweaty cum-sicle. If I had a rocket launcher, some scummy, hairy, goatblowing sunofabitch would die.
 

Lookit Jean Claude flashing photoshop skills on the avatar pic.
 

@ mr. white-

the sound you hear is me tearing my eyes out of their sockets after having watched 1:06 of that.


dear god, why have you forsaken us?
 

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@Medusa

I love you too and I will wear those shoes where ever you want me to. I hope you're tall though, or I'm on my back, cause they're something like 3.5 or 4 inches.

@Mr. White

That was quite possibly the worst thing I've seen since 2girls1cup. Is there enough room under the bed in the playpen for me to hide under until that crazy little shit crawling around on the ground is gone? He scares me. Doesn't that violate some public indecency laws or something? I'm sure there's some leash laws being broken here as well.

Although, I have to say, his hair band stage was pretty entertaining. I couldn't stop laughing. MULTICOLOR SPANDEX WILL GET YOU EVERYWHERE.
 

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@ ash

Sorry. I no longer love you on account of that video. We can still be friends, though. And that does include spooning.

Nope...I'm only 5'3". That's why I'm so bitter. My venom is very concentrated into a small package, highly concentrated in my reduced veinage.

However, the advantage is that I am portable and flippable. In your hands, and especially in the hands of Mr. White, who is alleged to be a Goliath, I would look like a teeny rubber pixie, which might be pretty cool. The two of you could bat me around like a badminton birdie. Come by the playpen for dinner tonight. After Laundry Gimp clears the dishes, we can test that theory.
 

@medusa

Bbbbbut! *sniffle* Ok *sniffle* I understand *toe scuffle*. I wouldn't love me after that video either ehehe.

You can have a few inches of my height. I'm 5'6", it doesn't make wearing heels easy. Especially the seksi red ones. It also makes it odd as the majority of my family fall below the 5'4" line, including the men. Whoo for giant Scottish/German people on my dad's side. And I think being a tiny rubber pixie would be awesome. I'll try and make it a good spanking instead of a batting though. Using your hands is more fun.
 

I cant help but cringe since learning his birthday is tomorrow as is mine,both exactly 41 years ago.
Figures...now who wants to see a magic trick?

Marcos Douchebagdatis
 

I would just like to note that this blog has gotten a lot more "titillating" since we've gotten a diverse group of female regulars.

it's nice to know in this country filled with mindless bleeths, whose idea of stimulating conversation is discussing the previous night's episode of "the hills", there are still women out there who have good heads on their shoulders. and boots with big heels. and leather. my god, the leather...
 

@ marcos douchebagdatis

A happy early birthday and my condolences for being born on the day of Poo.

Magic trick? Sure. As long as you're going to use Criss Angel to do the Joker's pencil trick.
 

I swear when I first looked at this clutch there was a silver metallic version available as well as the purple metallic. But now the only option left is the purple metallic, which of course, me being me, I love. So I have a slight obsession. But this clutch, this sexy option from Prada, has my heart palpitating. It is overall simple. There are no bells or whistles. Nothing amazing. But the simplicity of the design is what grabs me, what makes me give the bag a second glance and think to myself, “this is so me”. The Prada Vitellino Mordore’A Clutch shows off richly gathered calfskin with a signature metal Prada logo in the center. Dimensions are just right, The purple metallic will look stunning with fall and winter greys. It is my new purple clutch obsession for the day. Now I promise to lay off the purple (but it may be hard!). Buy through www.europehandbag.com
http://www.europehandbag.com/prada/prada-handbag1.html
 

i was going to say something about magical douche of Criss Angel, but this thread has taken a turn for the coke-spitting now that there's a europeanhandbag.com spambot (or something to that effect?) diving into HCwDB as a potential target.

if this spambot has flesh and blood and bones they would be in a blender right now.
 

I LOVE HTHE PUROPLE!

TAMRLA HANDBAG!
 

And we love you, Flyteeth.

I will send you a honey-dipped purple handbag for Christmas.
 

Dammit I want in the playpen too! I need some relief... The douche plague in LA has gotten unbearable. I'm starting to fight back with my iPhone as if I were wielding a chainsaw against the undead.
 

I don't think that's Criss. I think that's her homeless cokehead brother.
 

He has to be a king douche... he stole from the man himself Hef! That was his greatest magic trick of all time.
 

Hef is a used, dried-up old prune and Criss-cross Angel-devil is a rotten act that followed. Both men are highly commercialized, and sex's money drives them.

There are far more "folksy" douchebags of a non-commercial sort that appear on this site, although it takes a commercial approach of spending and working on a "look" to be a douchebag. Some spend far more cash to do so, others are just creative in going about it.
Look at Samurai Scrote, he took a simple necktie, placed it around his head, and became instant douche. Is that amazing, or is it not???
 

Criss Angel a douchebag is.
 

This chick is hot, oh yes. And I think I met that dude under a bridge once, we argued a bit over a prime sheet of cardboard.
 

He looks like he'd rather be taking a dirt nap.

But she is truly beautiful. Stunning. Seriously.

She gets a quart of throat yogurt.
 

Criss, my man, wha' happen? You had it all, then lost it suckin' that glass dick.

Criss: "For my next trick, watch me make all this crack disappear!"
 

If he was a real magician, he would contract AIDS and attempt to beat it. If he needs somebody to inject him with the virus, I'm willing.
 

I thank you for the birthday wished Medusa.

Actualy my show stopper is making my foot disapear,i am sure you can figure out where with that mountain of poop.

Marcos Douchebagdatis
 

know a girl who is a model for jcrew, ralph lauren etc etc and she used to date this guy....i kid you not
 

I'm just glad to see that I am not alone in hating this douche. His "Affliction" wearing, skull and bones, pseudo magick is bullcrap. DOUCHE!
 

This guy is gayer than Richard Simmons asshole.