Well deserved. Like an iron skillet slap upside the noggin. Man, this little shitstack is never going to learn, is he?
 

Incidentally, a group of fucktards desperately hoping for a nomination for douchiest music group, Rascall Flats. They are country, and dear god do they suck.

Just something to ruminate on a little bit.
 

As an aspiring writer, I can only hope to one day achieve this sort of ironic brilliance....he IS trying to be ironic right?
 

he's come a long way. Not as far as the distance between Medusa's ass and vagina, but a long way.

and of course I can forever thank HJBBaD for my favorite metaphor--

tough, unchewable steak
 

"I DON'T LIKE:

WHORES. girls that smell like s@#t. girls that fart in my presence. girls that pop a squat and take a piss. girls that pop a squat and take a piss AND then put it up on facebook. majority of brunette girls. annoying bitches. girls that don't smoke trees occasionally. proper bitches that NEVER do anything dangerous. girls that don't watch scary movies.

cops. snitches. girls that smoke cigarettes. crooked teeth. yellow teeth. acne. sand on my feet. sand on my genitals. sunburns. peeling skin. tarantulas. moles. girls with a lot of freckles. beauty marks..it ain't no beauty mark bitch.

stretch marks. the distance of the ass to the vagina. hairy girls. hairy vaginas. beastiality. girls that only do missionary. ugly girls that think they are hot..bitch have you looked in the mirror lately???

eye patch. clams. hard unchewable steak. the words: "hot box", "on dogs", "wat a force", "wat a scram","f@#kin a", "boing", "dayum", "superman that hoe." myspace advertising. private profiles. gay porn. soulja boy. flat asses. girls on their period. the bumpy region of the gspot. giant nipples.

sex <----sometimes. hairy nips. ass crusties. rain in your hair when you have gel in there. the feeling of throwin up. the smell at the zoo. people fartin in the car. naive people. simple girls. stupid tv shows (i love new york..come on). horny ugly girls. fat horny girls. girls who don't stop callin me when we both know they are fat and ugly as s@#t. girls at clubs who just wanna "dance." ass zits. dandruff. ear infections. physical checkup...picture a 90 year old guy playin wit my balls....ya. overly gay guys. gay popup porn. 2nd round in sex with a limp dick. the word "jerkin." nicknames that don't make sense like "cheesy","da sit", "asap", "blunt", and many more. people who say money isn't everything. people who say money doesnt buy happiness."

Exactly.
 

Truly an awesome spectacle.
 

Great God Almighty.

How're you going to have 20 bedrooms in your mansion and only 8 bathrooms? Actually that might work out--I would expect that most of his guests won't be housebroken.
 

Language lessons.
 

"suckin that d@#k of envy" (HJBB&D, 2008), and finding brunettes at Bed, Bath, & Beyond. That's nice junior college English major.

How's the ascent to Assistant Manager at Blockbuster going?
 

*Sigh* What a douche.

-Ponderonymous
 

Blockbuster??

this fucker couldn't deliver pizzas.
 

its good to see that Douchey D. is on point today.

I was wondering if HJBBD was gonna make the list and I am not disappointed in the least to see the award he won.

he is definitely an uber-douche
 

blockbuster? This guy is the guy who got fired from Eminem's job in 8 mile.
 

It's odd that he is so loquacious and erudite in his blogs and yet the only things he says to me when I see him in person is if I wanted fries with my burger.

He does a good job folding the bag shut by the way.
 

Dylan Douchemas, the voice of a douche-eration.
 

I'm happy to see autistic Kirstin Dunst again. She was my favorite HJBBAD hott.
 

Banging skanks from the break room at office max does not count. what a fucktard. He definetely has all 3 variations of herpes from the skanks in most of those photos.
 

@ Mr. White, 12:08

"autistic Kirstin Dunst" bwaaahhaahahah (insert generation Y laughing my ass off texting acronym here).

Well said good sir.
 

Everyones face in the picture just screams "I AM NOT REALLY OLD ENOUGH TO DRINK", and some maybe even "I CANNOT VOTE YET EITHER"
 

His scrupulous logic and aphoristic style create a kind of poetry of thought. Or maybe that was early Camus? I always get them mixed up.
 

And the Douchie for easiest to predict Douchie goes to . . .
 

Why do all the chicks he "bangs" look retarded? I'm thinking we might have to file some abuse charges...

On an even DOUCHIER note, this guy is trying to push DJ Bello and HJBBAD out of their respective top places with his baggary. Watch until the end, the universe does have a balance my friends.
 

some autistic Kirstin Dunst cleavite
 

Love the Better Off Dead Reference.
 

pfah's mom is so bald they use her head as a refractor for lighthouse beams.
 

A well deserved win...

...and by well deserved, I mean deserving of having his head caught in a pipe vice while a herd of javalinas pierce his nutsack with their tusks.

Nothing personal He Just Bangs Bitches and Drinks, you just suck.
 

Ahhhh yes. HJBB&D. I personally feel that this junior-varsity douche also merits a "Yammering Little Punk-Ass Weenie" of the year. But that's just me.

And yep - I have to agree with the consensus in this thread... his blond hott looks like she comes with a drool cup.
 

In his childhood, He Just Banged Bitches after saying hello to his priest's majesty in the confessional after mass every Saturday night.
 

Dear He Just Bangs Bitches and Drinks,

I've read better prose written by drunk Canadians pissing in the snow at an outdoor hockey game.

You're about as coherent as former New York Giants linebacker Lawrence Taylor trying to read aloud the poetry of Pablo Neruda while high on crack and Harvey Wallbangers.

Your style is as lucid as a Jackson Pollock painting.

Your command of the lanuage is as gripping as a prostate exam.

Your syntax and grammer is as crisp
as diarrhea in a baby's diaper.

You, SIR, have no rival. Not now. Not ever.




Sincerely,

Nobody.
 

He just bangs terriers and drinks their slobber while cuddling afterwards... cuz he ain't no gay.
 

He has a lot of acne in some of his pictures. That can't be conducive to getting laid a lot.
 

He Just Bangs Cocker Spaniel's while Drinking from all eight of their teats.
 

One of my favorite douchebag laureates. He is truly the voice of our time. And he doesn't cuddle after sex. Not even after sucking from the dick of envy.
 

Those are pretty big words coming from a guy who looks like a metrosexual ferret (sp?).

And his hott looks like she just drank her weight in Captain Morgan. And boobies.

-Wop
 

Anyone notice that none of the girls in his pics are hot?
 

@ ashfish

That MotoDouche is an interesting link. I'd venture to guess that at some point in his life he clunked his head on the asphalt and the asphalt lost.

What a tool
 

@vin

I wouldn't be surprised. Tho, I really wish the pavement at the end of the video had won that battle. At least broken bone or something, maybe knocked out a few teeth. WHO WEARS A TSHIRT AND JEANS TO COURT.
 

I'd like to be held in that judges Milfy content. And I don't think there could have been a better ending than that asshole wiping out. "Ah man there goes my party money for this weekend!". What a douchebag.
 

He Just Rides The Lithium Buzz and Posts Delusions On Hated Stepdad's Laptop Without Permission.
 

Please.......... someone out there wants to kill themselves today please find and take this asshole with you ....please
 

He Just Flagellates His Microchoad and Wimpers "Mommy!"
 

hahahaha

this chump CAN'T be serious!

my man here needs his ass kicked.

ps- haven't met too many people who build mansions without a college degree... I love how he says he's going to get money, yet has not laid out very much strategy for this. he should let us know when he moves out of his mom's house
 

He just drinks and worries about his receding hairline.

Marcos Douchebagdatis
 

Poetic genius-schmenius, poo-schmoo, and yabba-dabba-dope.

That's all I got to say.
 

@ jonezy 11:45

Your mom called. She got a flat tire trying to make the pussy-to ass maneuver on me. Don't wait up.

@ ash

My painfully short attention span wouldn't allow me to watch wihtout skipping, but holy effin' cow. I still wear a suit, stockings and heels for any sort of court thing, even for lame-ass speeding tickest and whatnot. Depsite the fact that everyone else, including the lawyers, is dressed like the fugitives from America's Most Wanted. As for the end of the video...righteous. I would have liked to see more raw meat, though.

Oh, yeah, HJBBAD. Why am I even bothering to write anything about him, he says it all. And isn't Bed Bath And Beyond going out of business anyway? Funny he picked one of the gayest retailers EVERRRR. No, wait, it's only gay if you cuddle at Bed Bath And Beyond.
 

I'm having an urge to go out and shop for purses.




Can anyone here help me out?
 

Is it ok to give an award to someone with down syndrome? Don't they have the advantage(handicap) that lets them auto win(lose)?
 

I think he got fired from Bed Bath and Beyond because he was TOO gay... not that there's anything wrong with that.
 

I think ive figured out this guy's mindset.

He must deal.

I bet he runs pot at the minor state school he attends, and has recently upgraded to selling blow and is making some money from all the dumb trust fund retards that buy from him.

So he thinks he has made it to easy street.

Problem is a retard like this probably talks about dealing drugs on shit liek facebook and myspace and has already been busted by the time of this comemnts thread.

The main reason we can assume he sucks at business and life is because he talks about it so much.

I work for the IRS and I am going to make it my mission to go after the little shit for tax evasion. He wont be so fuckign smug when he gets put in the 75% tax bracket that is reserved for stupid assholes.

-D.O.D.

Department of Douchebusters
 

Anyway DB1 with your editor connections you can get this guy a bookdeal. "Conessions of a Douchebag" or "Douch in the Rye." If not then I guess he will be a modern day Robert Douchjohnson, King of the Delta Douche. We will only have his sparse facebook entries to celebrate his legacy.
 

GOD, I'M SO JEALOUS!!!

He's just there, doin' his thang; and I'm here suckin' this dick of envy!!!
SHIT.

I wish my dick was the proverbial "dick of envy" in question.
That would be nice.

Well, I take comfort in knowing that people who carry the grandeurous delusion of being a pharoah, usually end up in a mental hospital sooner or later.

...hopefully, sooner.
 

This guy is almost as giant a douche as the singer from Nickelwack. What a complete and utter scrotum!!!