I think other awards must have slid, errrrr, slipped out of X-Lax' grasp.....
 

2d, bytches!
 

That "Last Supper" homage was underrated.

As for this award, perhaps I'm old school but I think we may be getting a little too "unique" with some of these Douchies. I mean, we shouldn't give everybody a Douchie lest they turn into paper plate awards and get devalued quicker than Mindy's status as the town hott after the Yak had regurgitated onto the nape of her neck.
 

Ah, the "X-Laxst Supper", I had forgotten all about that.

Hopefully someone got crucified the next day.

Jesus Wept.

Hey, is there a category for "most likely to be in the Vatican collection in 2112"? 'Cause this is a shoo-in.
 

I would feel refreshed and revived, hell - even reborn, after caning this guy for wearing a white tie. With a black shirt.
 

I love the Last Supper photo. You got bleeths, frat bags, lonely coeds, an inebriated/confused xlas, some Chiquita on his lap, and a Kevin Federbag-like waldouche poking his head in on the right. Oh x-lax. You slipped my mind like...well like when you take x-lax.
 

Ah, artificially flavored Smirnoff out of a paper cup while your parents are out of town. I miss college.
 

did you mean bowl or bowel?

I kind of see the nicker's point.

what's next?

"HCwDb – The Movie"

"Baghunter" for PS3 and Xbox

"The Capital One Poo Bowl"

"HCwDB Stadium, Home of The Los Angeles Scrotes of Anaheim"
 

BTW, I have an attorney standing by, if any of these ideas are stolen...
 

I hope Tom Hanks isn't as boring in Angels and Douches as he was in the DoucheVinci Code.

Ayelet Zurer is gonna need a few sammiches and some creatine & grape juice before I stop sucking Audrey Tautou's thigh and leave for her.


+Supposedly, the Knights Templar branch of the Freemasons still has the Severed Head of John the Baptist stashed away somewhere.

-which is why X-Lax will never die.


...now if they'd only make a movie of 'Douchecault's Pendulum', by Doucheberto Eco.
 

My next painitng, and I am dead serious about this...I am painting DaVinci's last supper with all the Douchebags, seriously. and I will send you all a print. But you need to help me. Here's the original.
For reference, left to right:
Bartholomew, James (Alphaeus), Andrew, Judas Iscariot (seated), Peter (behind Judas), John (or Mary Magdalen, if you wanna get all DaVinci Code), Jesus, Thomas, James the Greater, Phillip, Matthew, Jude Thaddeus and Simon.

Like that fucking helps.

Well, I'm sure Troy knew that.

I kinda already wanna make Fung as Jesus, unless there's a better choice. Help me out, hunters and huntrsses.
 

The "chic" on the left has a penis
 

Saint Peter should probably be Pumpy
 

i didn't remember this douchebag at first.

but then, after i shit my pants, i recalled exactly who he was.
 

John/Mary should be 'Hourglass' -as her sacred feminine destroys galaxies.

+ Judas could be the guy from "Four Points Writes In", because he's an anti-douche.

I think one of the History Channel programs said James was Jesus' brother.

As a core dude, the Matthew analog would probably have to be an HoS member, like Gator or Slap.
 

@medusa oblongata...in your painting, Jesus should be none other than Pumpy.
 

I love it...

Medusa's DaVinci rip-off (the DaVinci Choad?) causes an instant sensation, but my months-old suggestion of a Douche Mt. Rushmore gets no love.

All in good fun!

You go girl!
 

@ medusa-

I kinda feel like bello would make a good jesus. I liked the point about the anti-douche for 4 points as judas, although brothabag leon also makes a strong case, as in the movie of Jesus Christ Superstar, Judas was played by a brotha.
 

@paper or plastic: She's building on this from August:
"Hang on a sec; I see something else here.


Wait. -This is clearly "The Last Rager"; painted by Leonardo DoucheVinci for his patron, Duke Ludouchevico Sforza.


-Notice the Divide between the two central Female characters, forming the V-shape for The Sacred Feminine, echoed by Mary Magdouchelene on the left, with her V-shaped hand gesture and her pouty lips miming the front door of said Sacred Feminine.

The mentally-retarded-looking guy in the Vendela/Areola Canasta sandwich is clearly the Severed Head of John the Baptist.

And the guy up and to the right is Judouche Iscariot, the bastard son of Waldo, James Carville, and Richard Grieco.

Judouche sets up an all-girl quest to find the Holy Grail, only to betray all hotts involved, attempt the destruction of the grail once found, and thereby that of the modern church; so that he may Self-Apotheose and transmute all future hotts into Bleeths fit only to do his Evil Troglodyte bidding.

Saint Petra in the middle of course, isn't getting any and will Sublimate her desires by solving a bunch of Codes left behind by dead hotts, find the secret vault of AXE in Scotland, depicted on the verso of DoucheVinci's 'The Vitruvian Douche', and rumored extant by the Priory of Scrote.

While dodging the assassination attempts of Opus Douchey and their Albino eunuch sopranos, who seek to preserve their earthly power-base, she finally decodes the cryptaxe Judouche gave her at the outset of the quest, realizes he's actually a Grieco in douche disguise and blinds him with a quick shot of FDS to the eyes, escaping.

After resisting Judouche's nefarious propositions, uncovering the truth encoded in "The Last Rager", and unceremoneously suckling thighs with Audrey Tautou for 10 minutes midway, Petra discovers the true location of the Holy Grail on a trip to the 9th sub-basement of the Louvre. -It's in her pants.

THE END.

(Honestly, I thought 'Angels & Douches' was better written anyway. and by ‘Angels & Douches’ I mean ‘Douchecault’s Pendulum’, by Doucheberto Eco)"
 

Yes, Medusa, I was raised Catholic, like you. My mother was a nun for 6 years (long before she met my dad), so I got Catholicism like few are "privileged".

I don't buy the Da Vinci code bullshit. It's a nice story. But IT'S FICTION PEOPLE. And not very good fiction, at that.

Sigh. who would I have as the people in the list?
Well, I would have Fung as James the lesser.
Jesus? There can only be Samurai Scrote for that part.
Peter? Bra!!!
Thomas? Joey Porsche.
Matthew? Fish Slap.
Mark? HJBB&D
Luke? Old #7
John? Xenu.
Judas? Metaphysical Hooligan!!!
James the Elder?
Philip? Droopy McScrote.
Simon? Small Package
Jude? Millenium Bag
Andrew? Mooby Dick
Bartholomew? DNA Dan

How's that?

T
 

also, perhaps thomas can be portrayed as someone who loves the haters, as thomas was the doubter. Maybe Scroteboy Slim.
 

I would like to punch bewildered Adrian Zmed in his face. The chica on the right is a fuggin KO!
 

I forgot, James the Elder:

Gramps
 

@ wonkey_

yes, I know. I remember the previous pic. it's classic. Thanks
 

someone needs to "shop" this together before the painting can begin

pfah?
 

@Medusa, Jesus should be either Pumpy (he is a legend after all) or HJBBAD. I believe he has a similar pose in his Douchie Award photo. And I would totally be up to sending you a picture of my what's soon going to be my exboyfriend to put his head on one of the plates. Hooray for being second to weed. Yeah, that's awesome. Ok, I promise I won't have anymore bitchy boyfriend comments.

This series makes me want to shove that bottle of vodka up his ass enema style. But he'd probably like that.
 

The Aztecs called, they said get the fuck out of our race. We'd rather be extinct.
 

Does XLax look like Zoolander or what?
 

@ash

if he's not down for the vodka bottle, once you dump his ass I can be reached here or on myspace... but only after you dump him, cuz I ain't no homewrecker.
 

spot on, troy. spot on.

I'd nail daughter in this pic while mom watches. Well, after checking her official state-issued identification of course.
 

oh cmon Orel, as long as you say "you're at least 18 years of age right?" and she doesn't say no, you're covered as far as the laws concerned right?

right?

....

Oh fuck.
 

@ Troy

Gramps. BWAAAHAAAHAHAAAAAA!!! I love you. And not in a romantic way, in a Bishop and alter boy kinda way.

@ Ash
I'm so sorry about your troubles. Being second to weed sucks. You know what the best cure for a broken heart is?

Fresh meat.

Aw yeah.
 

@Ash: Condolences.
 

@ medusa-

whats more romantic than a bishop and an alter boy?

And when you say fresh meat do you mean like a steak? Or maybe just some ground chuck.
 

@ash

I, too, was going to suggest HJBBAD for Jesus. He is the prophet, after all.

@medusa

Would each douche have a hot chick hanging out nearby, or is this more of a 1 for 1 swap?
 

@ medusa - I like your original idea for Fung as Jesus. He was, after all, witnessed more than once transforming water into Axe Body Spray.

I'm happy with the rest of Troy Tempest's list beyond that :)
 

@ Mr. White

1 for 1. An exact replica of the painting, poses exact, down to the orange-hued skin, so there is no mistaking it as TLS and no mistaking the douches.

@ Docuhelexic

I mean cock. Or pussy if she's really that spiteful.

@ heather
BWAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!! Suppose he also turns loaves and fishes into bros and bitches?
 

@heather-

See that's a common misconception about fung. he actually just drank axe once. There was never any water involved.
 

@heather, medusa, and douchelexic

Oh man, now I have taco bell in my keyboard. It was worth the laugh though.

Mmm, cock. Sorry, slight distraction. I could fuck a pussy, but I couldn't have a relationship with anyone attached to it. I just don't get along that well with most females. No, if I wanted to be spiteful I'd just call the DEA and cackle as I filmed the raid.

Does fung cure the blind by making them see through aviator glasses and heal the sick by styling their hair in grease? Does he bless others by dipping them in orange self-tanner? My god, the prophecy has been fulfilled! Jesus has risen again! AND ITS THE FUNG! And my family wonders why I'm no longer Catholic. Where's the rapture that's going to take all these douchebags back?
 

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X-lax has made me shat my drawers!
 

WTF. Some bag is selling bags on HotChicksWithDouchebags. Someone opened the Stargate or something.
 

@medusa

It's Von Goolo selling colostomy bags.


He's got quite a racket going, too.
You should see those little Asian kids hustle around his basement packing shit up and shipping them out.
 

My dad has a saying, "this guy's dumber than tits on a boar hog." Not exactly sure what the hell he means when he says it, but in the case of X-Lax, it kind of fits.
 

hey i remember Gramps!

... that is all.
 

@ plinky

Is there anything Von Goolo can't do? I love the bags with the wooden accents.
 

Plinky, they're called OSTOMY bags, and not colostomy bags.

I know because I WEAR ONE!!!!FYI, they're actually pretty convenient and a whole lot cleaner than any alternative. No more shit on the body from inflammatory bowels. No more farts, no more gas. No more pain from disease. FREEDOM!

The hole is a STOMA.

The hole can be in the colon making it a COLOSTOMY, and usually that is as a result of cancer, with a section of colon removed.

Or it can be in at the end of the colon where it attaches to the ileum or tail end of the small intestine. That is called an ILEOSTOMY. That is used when the entire colon is removed, usually for inflammatory bowel disease and maybe sometimes cancer.

Just get the goddamn terms right, for a change. I got the ILEOSTOMY, and it's a blessing. No more Crohn's disease. HURRAH!!!

ARE YOU READING THIS??? YOU SHOULD!!
Oh, and who needs X-Lax with a stoma? This douche could also have been in the most orange category.
 

@whoop-di-douche

My apologies. To help ease your suffering I'm offering to buy you a bag from Baron Von ... ummmm, I mean "anon @ 6:44"'s post.

Or if you'd prefer I'll maybe spring for a new OSTOMY bag.
Do you like paisely, hmmmmm?
 

@whoop

Wow, in the words of Gumbi, one of our local radio DJs "...and now I know too much." Thank you for the lesson, I should probably know more because a good friend of mine had colon cancer a few years ago but he was lucky and didn't have to have his entire colon removed. Yay for no more Crohn's disease and yay for no more cancer!
 

Thanks, y'all, just educatin' the public on some basics. Be glad I have gone no further than describing the appliances.

And really, it's not a bad thing, I thought it might be years back, but I'm amazingly free of every single bowel problem that afflicts most folks I know. And because I wash my hands a lot more every day, I've also had other benefits: fewer colds and flu.

Do gotta drink the gatorade and pedialyte and extra water, though, so I don't get dehydrated.

You can keep making ostomy jokes. I don't care, just get the terms right. You know, I don't need to carry a gun, "El Bag" might make a formidable weapon if so needed.
 

Yeah, Plink, the Anonymous handbag post is one of those "interferences" we see form time to time on this site.

HMMMMMM. SOMEONE DOES MANUFACTURE HADNDMADE OSTOMY BAG COVERS IN VARIOUS FABRICS...NEVER BOUGHT ONE BEFORE.
Paisley works, but Harris tweed is more my style. Or silk made from the cloaca of pandas who eat mulberry leaves instead of bamboo.
 

David Schwimmerbag?

Nuke LaDouche