She makes my junk crawl up inside me.
 

i swear to god it looks like someone did a really crappy job of Photoshopping his ridiculous beard onto his face.

but then you realize, it's all his.



and that's when the laughter starts.
 

His arm doesn't even look real. But there's definitely a lot of other stuff to complain about in this picture. Like the thing blocking his left bicep.
 

The two of them together could be awarded "Most Likely To Cause the STD Clinic To Run Out Of Antibiotics."
 

i'm confused. i see the douchebag...i see the tranny....but where's the hott. And I was reading the thread from the dog tag story. BCS, I'm a big guy, I got your back. I'll stick a shiv in Dog. I was in jail, I learned this shit. 48 hours for a DUI is HARD TIME my friends.
 

Holy crap...I followed the link to the Timothy Lopez link, which led to the modeling photo link. Roidbag? You be the judge. Either way, Doucheknuckles like this make me embarrassed about my job.

And they make me embarrased for men in gerneral.
 

How about, "Facial Hair Most Reminiscent of a Mercury Logo"?
 

the doctor said THIS IZ WHY I"M HOT
 

damn, and I was thinking dog might win the award for greatest steps to rehabilitation......
 

Damn, Olivia O'Lovely's hit some hard times!

I don't get the navigation tattoos. Danger-oriented tats such as "slippery when wet," navigational tats (i.e., cum targets/ass antlers), and baby-daddy names all make sense to me.
 

I think Dog is going to celebrate by eating a boulder and shitting out sand...

... or he'll harvest a field of coca plants with his beard and shit out pretty white lines.
 

@Medusa
The pic of two smoldering eyed Homo-roids was just what I needed to brighten my day.

*retch*
 

That's gotta be the trashiest tattoo on a chick - the "reverse tramp stamp."

And Dave Navaro should really relax on the HGH.
 

@ Crucial Head -

...or he'll celebrate by eating his date and shitting out a previously undiscovered strain of staph infection.
 

@crucial & Heather

Or he'll celebrate by eating his date and crapping out her testicles.
 

i fail to see any way this could end badly for either of them.
 

The story by Tim Lopez was awesome! Damn this site rules... Dog is definitely Def-Con 4 in his state of douche... well done Dog.
 

It looks like Snake Pliskin has been off his diet and is back to eating Ball Park franks and drinking Milwaukee's Best again.

--------------------------------

@ crucial head

I think Dog is going to celebrate by eating midgets and shitting out Shaquille O'Neal.
 

And around his dick Dog has a tattoo of a ringworm.
 

If Dog happens, by miracle, to live to see 65; that cobra snake is, ironically, going to look like a pile of steaming poo on his arm.
 

And if his skank lives to 65... oh wait, my bad, she already is.

Carry on.
 

It's a violent world we live in ladies and gentlemen





Good thing we can hide behind fictitious avatars and names .....
 

The wet spot left behind from these two bumping uglies could be used as laquer thinner.
 

Any man that would punch his asian ladyboy it the tit deserves to have his bicep run through a meat grinder, packed in to a sausage casing and fed to him intravenously.

I hate you dog, and if you ever do my last bump again I'll run you over with my wrecker and by wrecker I mean mid 80's Geo Metro. Fuck you
 

When Dog's skank sits down to pee, I bet her meat curtains flap like Kim Jong Il’s puppet cheeks.
 

Dog is a douche, but she is not a hot chick...more of a skank actually...but still, a douche is as a douche does.

Douche on.
 

Am I the only one convince the Tony Lopez story is fake? Pics or it didn't happen, especially when the story involves 50 witnesses with iPhones surfing HCwDB, reading comments, checking emails, sniping eBay, balancing checkbooks, etc. Nobody thought to take a picture or Dog in the wild?

Whatever. Cool story bro.
 

cool another chance to "dog" Tim Lopez. That original story was such crap! HE is a douche!
 

DB1 was remiss in not noting Miss Asian Trashy Hott...with a tatt pointing straight to her nu-nu, in case any guy did not notice (guys who did not notice - you are blind or gay: go see an opthomoligist, or jst come out of the closet). Yes, she IS trashy, but somehow hot.
 

So I was at a bar, and I saw dog touching his Vietnamese transvestites ding dong, and I round house kicked him for having a stupid tattoo and facial hair combo. Little did he know that I've seen over 50 episodes of Walker Texas Ranger. Then I had sex with like 12 women with huge boobs.



True story.
 

@ crucial (again!)

If Dog happens to live to 65 his legs are going to look like Ping i5
4-irons, his upper body like petrified cotton candy, and his pee-pee like the 1 remaining hair on pfah's head.
 

@plinky...which head?
 

@pfah.

Nice retort. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZiiiinnnnngah!
 

Is she a 4'11" Latina wearing an Asian prostitute's makeup and uniform? Regardless, I have a new fetish.
 

THA HOT NEW TREND: FUPA TATTOOS!
 

He blew his nose and out came the GDP (and most of the exports) of a small South American country. I blew my nose and tasted vomit.
 

looks like we have a real winner here...and by winner, I mean a complete loser and utter failure in life.

'nuff said, happy hour starts right now
 

Trying to get more "tramp" for your stamp?

FUPA TATTOOS!
 

Thanks kids...you have made Sad Medusa laugh. More so than the time Mr. White came down the stairs and found me shoving those old-fashioned, bristly wire hair curlers up Laundry Gimp's ass. Mr White said, "Hey, I hope that isn't permanent." Get it? Hair curlers? Permanent?

Ah, I guess you had to be there.
 

Upon The Dog and his life-partner's Douchie win, a shout came from the rafter:
COBRA-THAI NEVER DIES!


Which reminds me... I kicked Daniel Larusso's ass back in '84.
True story.
 

@ medusa

First, I want you to know that I respect you as an artist, a woman, a human, and a bag huntress non-pariel...

but if you ever make a joke that bad again I might have to punch you in the face.
 

@ douchelexic

I love a man who's into foreplay.
 

The only story about Lopez that bugs me is his comment about training for 15 years and still only being a purple belt, that seems weird...other than that, I can totally see it happening...big muscleheads often think they are tough, and can fight, until confronted with somebody who can.

Strong does not equal fighting skill

- Minnescrota, ranked in kickboxing, jiujitsu and karate
 

@medusa

Well I like to make it last a little longer than 17 seconds, so unlike most guys I'm all about foreplay. Otherwise I feel like its unfair to make her pay for her half of dinner.
 

WARNING!

Do not look at this pairing of excrament within two hours of eating. Nothing good will come if it...

...and by nothing I mean vomit.

I'm going to need threapy for my eyes - where is that picture of Four Points again?

(scroll) (scroll) (scroll)

..aaahh, much better.
 

Why does the term "ambiguously gay duo" keep creeping into my brain?

Tattoos... HA!
 

hey, is the baghunter who was an east-coast mail carrier still posting on the site?

what was that dude's name?

did he change his avatar?
 

I love this guy.

I fuckin' love this fuckin' guy.

I want to shake his hand and buy him a drink just for him being him. Hell, I'll buy one for his pet mandrill, too.

Dog forever. One of you Hollywood knuckleheads, give him a show on FOXRC and just let him justify his life decisions to the camera. Call it DOGGY STYLE. I will watch it and make unnecessary purchases from its sponsors.
 

She's like a cat box - all plastic and shiny on the outside, and completely filled with sawdust and dried out ropey cat turds on the inside. At least, that's what Kiki told me.

And Dog? I don't think his beard is real. I think he drew it on with a wide point Sharpie.

She has flying bat wings tattoed below her belly button. I wonder if she has little beads of batshit tattooed on her cooter, because she's one batshit crazy bint.

At least she had the decency to put her blast shields up on her head so we could see her glassy dullwitted stare beam out from her stripper blue eyeshadow.

She's wearing dreamcatchers for earrings, but the only thing that's goign to get her is the endless nightmare of her pathetic unreflected life.

His giant snake tatt is already getting fuzzy. By the time he's 60 it'll be a long blackish goo down his arm.

And when she's old? I can see it now. In the county welfare nursing home, some poor bastard is going to be wiping her butt and he'll say

"Yo, lady - ya know sumpthin'? you got batshit tattooed on your cooter!"

She'll just gurgle and fall back asleep.
 

@DB1:

So, are we going to have a Douchie Award posting tomorrow morning in haiku form?

I'd like to know whether or not I should wake my lazy ass up early or not.
 

yeah!

what Crucial said.
 

@CH

I might actually get up early for that one. But only if it involves Four points naked in a pool of melted Vaseline and Medusa using a bottle of liquid plumber and a hair curler on Dog.
 

@Troy, 3:48

Dammit! I was going to use the words "wings" and "cooter", but you beat me to it.

Ok, how about this: her hoo-ha has antennae!
 

I bet Fung has pictures of this homosexual all over his walls. He would definetly be giddy with laughter like a little school girl to finally meet his idol.

FUNG YOU DOG!!!!
 

She tattooed a mustache for her navel. Craptacular.

Or maybe it's a chevron; like on the highway - keep your distance.
 

No guys, that's the eyebrows on the angry beaver living below.
 

I can't help but think this guy would get around better if he just amputated his legs at the groin and put his hands in a pair of Nikes. I'll bet he could orangutan his way up to 24 mph.

Just put screw 3 rubber-tipped short furniture legs into his pelvis for periods of stationary activity.

That is my vision.
 

maybe a titanium skid plate; that makes more sense.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

the saddest thing about this picture is that the non-hott looks like a botched photoshop implant of a non-hott to an otherwise undeserving douchebag. well, maybe he does deserve the botched photoshop job.
 

Darksock, your vision is very veterinarian, as in dogs who have an amputated leg with little wheels on a dolly to get them around, not necessarily a tri-tipped cane.

But it'll do. Better'n a marble bench.
 

Even in my darkest midnight hours of despair, the 'baghunters can make me sick with laughter. This site is more valuable than the suicide hotline.
 

Oh, and in other news...

R.I.P. Bettie Page. 85. Heart attack. Los Angeles. May we all salute her with an IOB.
 

@Medusa

I just honored my dearest Betty by soiling the wall of my garage with my unfertilized seed while listening to Johnny Thunders over the purr of my '49 Ford Shoebox.

Word.
 

Crucial, you gotta buy those great classic automobile stamps that are out right now, Chrome beauties. Love that Studebaker and the finned models featured in the sheet. Great graphics, look really fine on an envelope.

Don't know what that has to do with this picture, it just popped into my mind when you described your pop-off and your 49 Ford.

Dawg.
 

@Whoop-Di

Thank you sir. I'll have to put in a good word to my wife; as she's the one who, apparently, makes all the monetary purchases up in this mug.

What? Do I sound bitter? Hells no!

I better go shut off the Shoebox before I asphyxiate all the opossums that have congregated in my garage this evening.
 

Y'know, if you were to weight that titanium skid plate properly, he'd make a fine Weeble.

That would totally rock.
 

Do(ucheba)g sucks.
 

That arrow reads: "Here be cooties".
 

Anyone think Dog still does this contour plowing on his face? He's probably pissed because he didn't win the facial hair Douchie (and he's gonna go kick Blowfish's ass), though I'm sure this award appeases him since someone had to look at his "massive arms" to notice the stupid tatt.
 

haha.. this guys is a piece of guido trash scumbag spikey haired rodent fake tanned juicehead... funny stuff.. i am embarrased for him and his woman.. another funny site is www.GUIDOTRASH.Ccom
 

BVG wrote:

Y'know, if you were to weight that titanium skid plate properly, he'd make a fine Weeble.

That would totally rock.

Of course it would rock. Because "weebles wobble, but they don't fall down!"
 

I just noticed this Homo erectus has a pack of Marlboro lights in his front pocket. Need a light, ya girl?
 

Gotta love her front mounted tramp stamp.
 

The pic of the dog blowing lines is priceless
 

Yes, Troy. Thank you for explaining my joke.
 

Being' the dog that I am, and late to the thread too, I nonetheless add my Paw of Approval to the Dog here. Just want to add that his bitch is a real dog and not in a nice way. And that ain't no flea powder he's snorting there, either, in the celebration photo.
 

Damn. Looks like he had elephantiasis of the arms. And someone's been playing with mom's sharpie pens that she keeps in the junk drawer again...
 

Dog is a bitch.

Fuck Fung.
 

im betting he has no left arm
 

EWWW! These two are wrong on just so many levels. He looks like a busted Vin Diesel with Sharpie drawn on his arms ...

And she has the worst tattoo placement ... it reminds me of some kind of snarly, skragly lady-snapper mane pointing to her surly vadge!
 

Anyone that labels anyone a douche has jealously written all over it, stop sitting at home infront of your bloody computers and live your life instead of critisising people on their lives. You moronic immature pieces of living shit. Your quick sense of judgment shows your lack of intellect and personality. Because people are a little "out there" you label them douchebags, when was the last time you did anything ? So ultimately who's the real douchebag ? Think about it.
 

Hervé Villechaize