newest Christmas toy rage

Fung Dolls!
 

Fung is out of control. Nice chin strap. Nice Gucci hat. He is a Mandelbrot Set of infinite douche.
 

oh god i think fung burned my brain like a scalding hot iron through the skull.

and I think that if you are dressed in period clothing because you are in a video game that takes place in said period you get a pass on the mandana.
 

That guy is Dutch, not Swedish
 

Orange and pink do not mix.

That didn't sound nearly as gay as I thought might.

Is it possible for Joey to win back to back DBotY's? Although the competition's been steep all year I think he could repeat like a bad Taco Bell burrito that leaks from both ends. I for one would like to see Joey do it, lets crown this fucker king of the douchebags now and get it over with.
 

well shit. that was a brain-frying post DB1. i'm going home to crack open many a beer after that viewing. especially the Swedish Ubersquat series.

have a great weekend everyone.

all i have to say is:

Fok! isz teh shit!
 

Jebus. Okay so Fung, Fuck him. I mean, really. Fuck him up the ass with a giant novelty television remote.

Gay Swedish Jesus is flipping hilarious.
 

Wow. Fung's skin appears to be so overly-tanned that it is about to crumble right off of his skull into a small pile of greasy black ash. And apparently nothing says "masculine" like a carefully tweezed, delicately arched brow.
 

Not only is it Dutch, it's fukkin fun-lovin' fake-o Dutch, at least part of the time. Swedes are more svelte.

My wife wishes to see more of him in that private sauna shot...below the waist. She doesn't care if he's douche or not, she likes the goods.
 

Once again Fung's insecurities are overflowing onto my keyboard and I cant handle it anymore. We all know you werent hugged enough when you were a little baby fung, but somehow you seem to think that this "spray and gay" attitude will make it all better. Safe travels you flaming bag of dog shit
 

I'm so disappointed in Fung here, no dark orange-glo-into-eggplant-purple-hued skin, no visible spiked hair. No Joey Porsche friend nearby. What HAS become of him??? Has he finally Fee-Fie-Fo-Funged?
 

As for JP and his revolting sidekick. I dont know where to begin. Maybe at the fact that her skin abuse is starting to take shape... just as rocky dennison started to take shape in the "mask". She is utterly disgusting. He should go Fuk himself
 

The Swedish guy. Holy mary mother of god. That hair. You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Can you imagine trying to hug this pantheon of douchery, ladies? He'd pop right out of your embrace like a greased ferret.
 

Someone better tell Nicholas Cage's son's date that his/her sex change isn't complete
 

DB1,

Bravo boss! A Stripes inspired word of encouragement for the troops.

But way to slap us back down to reality with Nick Cage’s son, who looks like the lead singer for the cover band Type O Negadouche. And Fung continues to ferment at a rate that will soon earn him the classification of a penicillin that everyone is allergic to. He is a yeast infection gone viral.

The Ubersquat is clearly a Centaur who retained his horse's mane, while surgically removing the horse's body and replacing it with two toilet plungers. I know this and I don’t even speak Swedish or Ebonics.

But, if you keep posting pictures of Peyton List, every Target in Southern California is going to run out of tube socks.

A hearty toast of Knob Creek to all you other fine ‘bag hunters and huntresses! May the Trojans crush the lowly Bruins tomorrow in Pasadena and make my heart weep with tears of joy.

Cheers!
 

Thank you for making the last pic be one of Peyton so it could help wash away what I just saw.

-Prince Douchington
 

Well that was depressing, I think Fung's boobs are bigger than mine.
 

To paraphrase Eric Bogosian, Fuck Fucking Fung, Fucking Fung is Fucked.
 

Was the "view at your own risk" shot a negative? I mean, he's a shade of gray.
 

So young, yet so Bleethed....
 

Joey had an inflatable prom date? That's just... priceless!
 

Can you imagine how used and abused this bleeth will be by the time she is 21! I'm sure JP and fung and all the other toadstools have had a round with her. What a shame.
 

Memorandum

To: DB1

Re: Fung photograph, Dec. 5 2008

No, fuck YOU.

Regards,

DarkSock
 

The Dutch Jeebus is gayer than Lance Bass trying to pop a can of Pillsbury Biscuits pushed 10" up Perez Hilton's butthole by donkey-punching his taint with Freddie Mercury's bleached skull.
 

@darksock, your knowledge of gay entertainers is quite astounding and my side hurts now from laughing.
 

I think Fung is a pre-op transsexual because he's looking more & more like a girl every time I see him. The boobs, earrings, penciled eyebrows, small waist, faggy Guicci hat...ugh.

He looks like a piece of skin that JP's prom date sloughed off when she took a shower using a loofah.

Fung is revolting. Plain & simple.
 

Does Fung have a gold plated iPhone?

WTF
 

I think Fung is on a cycle of growth hormone.
 

The second Fung photo looks like what you'd get if you shaved a Wookie with a sheep shear
 

Freddie Mercury's bleached skull. Wow.

-Ponderonymous
 

poor Fung.... not only is he forever without HC, but, he appears to be fading

maybe he can get together w/Dutch cheese, Edam, for some oragina man on man fun...

... & may he continue to fade away, completely!

Nick Cage's kid is with some rock/goth cougar (gotta be 45)... hey Nick, spend some time with your kid, he's freakier than you!
 

I don't understand Swedish but I'm fairly certain that Nickenator's post, "Jemig wat kansloos ", about übersquat loosely translates as
"What a DOUCHEbag"
 

Samurai Scrote refers to the golden shower he gives each new girlfriend as 'Knob Creek'.
 

AshFish, is your dog smoking a joint in that pic?
-I mean if it's going to smoke, why not go out in a blaze of amnesiac glory?
 

Ha, no its not a joint but we do call them "doobie treats" because they look like it. They're just some rawhide sticks.
 

Ubersquat is obviously harboring fugitive produce or tubesocks in his white track pants. Is it common for douchebags to "stuff" their leopard print thong? Most of the photos in this post have given me the heebie jeebies and I feel the overwhelming need to shower right now. With bleach.
 

Incredible! This bleeth is somehow more douchey than Fung by a mile. And this is Fung we're talking about! Unprecedented.
 

Fuck I mean Porsche
 

From Gay Swedish Jesus' own blog post thing.

"Heey men, check.Dit zijn ik en mijn dog."

Which translates loosely as; "Heey one, verifies. This is I and my dog."

We can draw many conclusions from this. Firstly, it's a lot funnier in Gay Swedish Jesus' native Dutch. Secondly, online translators are really funny in their own right. Thirdly, I laugh at almost everything.

I just like saying Gay Swedish Jesus.
 

Looks like Fung's still living with Mom and Dad in Piscataway....
 

re: Fung... I always wondered what happened to Emil from Robocop after he smashed into that vat of toxic waste. Now I know.

The Dutch/Swedish Uberscrote: Google translates the caption of the photo of him sitting at his computer thusly: "What kind of work I do? I'm manager I sell in ocassion and gentlemen lingerie.Een few years ago I worked in a tampon factory there to save my fitness equipment but after I was fired because I am going to take the initiative and that is good as you unpacked see".
 

It seems the mandana has infiltrated the electronic data stream dimension. Kids everywhere are being brainwashed that spiky/mandana combinations, and running toward the camera away from the hott makes you 'The Man'. More like the 'Prince of Douchia'.

Dear God,

I've never asked for anything before, ok besides the whole Janet Jackson wardrobe boobie thing, and front row tickets to the Samurai Scrote VS Fish Slap main event, so all I'm asking is....

....MAKE IT STOP!!!

No really. Make it stop. I'll stop masturbating, well, I'll limit it to once a month. Thanks.

JCVD
 

It's ersatz DUTCH as in DOUCHE,
not SWEDISH as is "SHEESH, YOU GOT IT WRONG, DB1."

Nothing like seeing a faded Fung, and a Joey Porsche with a girl even douchier than HE is, er, uh, Bleethier.

"Faded Fung has had his fun,
And we are ever-grateful;
He's lost his tan, equal to none,
that made us all so hateful."
 

So,....

NJ teacher has sex with 17 year old...

....any possibility he was a Prompa?
 

ubersquat in the pool is worth seeing. i free translated his caption in the hope it was as good as his picture. it's not - "After all train that and work touch you of course in the long run exhausted, thus this, however, a must for busy one is like me you can also once langsdroppen one, property a cigarette and some champagne. Jewel and bring some chiks with." Roughly translated as "ubersquat's the name, peeing in the pool's the game".
 

Didn't we see the Swedish or Dutch Jeebus awhile back, posing in his all-white living room? In the bottom pic he appears to be in an all-white bedroom.
 

I just knew losing that lawsuit against Mattel was going to be hard on the Bratz dolls. Now I see one of them is already whoring herself out to Joey Porsche.

And I think there's some sort of Portrait of Dorian Gray thing going on with Nicholas Cage's kid where he gets creepier looking every time his dad makes a shitty movie.
 

Wow, Fung is crashing hard and early. By the time he is 25 he will look 55 at this rate.

I know that's not insightful or clever, but it's early and I'm hungover from a 12 pack of San Miguel and a Rockband 2 marathon that went into the wee hours of the morning with my neighbors and friends.

Stupid addictive pointless game.
 

In the latest Fung pic he appears to be morphing into Carrot Top. This could be the end of times...

http://www.radaronline.com/from-the-magazine/carrot-top-764478082.jpg
 

Good stuff, Producer goes nuts when the live feed goes awry:

Awesome
 

Vin Douchal... good stuff, indeed, but fake, nonetheless.

Here's a blast from the past: the real thing, with some enhancements.
 

I think Fung is pulling a Michael Jackson. He's slowly morphing into... something. It's winter, so I imagine the tan isn't so intense, and the orange spray on stuff doesn't really cut it, so he is fading bit.

I think we're looking at the slow motion collapse of his feeble mind.

He's doing EVERYTHING he can to "look cool" and all he's really doing is looking more and more like SpursFan's aunt Sue, who used to slip him the tongue...

I think we're going to see some major changes in Fung over the next year or so. He could end up in jail - his clothes won't stay on him if he gets any greasier.
 

when did fung become a 'mo? Those eyebrows have gone beyond manscaping into full on queendom.
 

Darn it, those Bratz dolls are now collectors' items, I never bought one, and wish I had, for the sheer thrill of owning a skank doll.
It's just, I never could, buy a doll that looked like that and show my face at the cash-register.

Maybe one of those large headed big eyed Marie Osmond dolls will do, minus the skankiness of course.
 

The Dutch/Swedish guy reminds me of a 'roided out Gunther
 

@ Vin Douchal said...

So,....
NJ teacher has sex with 17 year old...
....any possibility he was a Prompa?
=======================

She's hott. If I was 17 and my teacher looked like that and said "let's bump nasties" I would consider it a great and fine honour to bang her six ways to Thursday.

Instead? I get another inexperienced 17 year old to fumble in the back of a 73 Mercury wagon and then end up feeling stupid afterwards.

Male teachers preying on 17 year old girls? Yeah, icky. But a 17 year old boy has ONE thing on his mind 24/7, and I am sure he sat there in class getting a big log of mahogany in his shorts EVERY single day, looking at her. PWANG!!!

I know I would have. I don't consider her banging a 17 year old student a crime - I consider it a kind service and an inspiration to other 17 year old boys who have to sit in a class trying their damndest to keep their eyes on the board and not on her ass, and end up goign home to wank furiously dreaming DREAMING of the day she'd say "let's go BOY..."

Now, if she looked like a menopausal Jabba the Hutt and smelled like a cheese shop, and used her position and power to jump his bones against his will...

"Eeeew... MRS SIMPSON!!! Yer CREEPING ME OUT!!! EEeaAaaaUUUGgGHhhhh!!!"

THEN - yeah it's a crime.

But if she's a hottie looking for a Young Spooge Spigot, then I say "YAY! KOWABUNGA!!!"
 

Fung, for the love of god -- open that door, get out of the closet and openly embrace your homosexuality. It's 2008 and the Kinsey report came out 50 years ago.
 

now Joey Porsche is posing with defective Barbies. how young is he? and he's already in this kind of downward spiral?

time to go male prostitute and marry a rich old woman like Clay Aiken there, Joey. just don't let your wife find out how many hotties you're banging behind her back.

i have to say though, that i've always had a soft spot for the particular Busted Tees hottie featured in this entry. because she's the one (or looks like the one) that poses for the "With Shirts Like This Who Needs Pants?" shirt. that's a major contribution to mankind.

so now, i'm banging my head on the desk. coincidence? i think not.

finally... Fung. uh... uh-huh-huh (that's my text imitation of a Beavis and Butthead laugh in case you can't tell). Fung. uh... uh-huh-huh. i'm just glad he hadn't started making videos like DJ Bello (yet).

oh and go Peyton List.
 

oh and Vin does make an astute observation there. the prominent student teacher marriage (where Entertainment Weekly paid to film the whole thing) of Mary Kay Letourneau features a Samoan-American. i don't even know where in the world the word "Samoan" is supposed to point to until i tapped into the power of Wikipedia, but Vili Fualaau does look a bit badly tanned. the question now is just whether the term "Prompa" is strictly reserved for badly tanned Guido douchebags or badly tanned douchebags in general.

ah student-teacher sex cases. i have to say Lisa Gilde is one of the hottest teachers to get involved yet.
 

I've been thinking about this whole "Fung situation" and I've come to the conclusion that Joey Porsche is a douche, but he makes me laugh, so he should live. Fung, however, makes me so angry & should be repeatedly pounded with a sack of hammers until his brains drain out of his head. Fung is...a cautionary tale. As in:

This is your brain (Joey Porsche)...this is your brain on a 3-month meth bender mixed with Grey Goose (Fung). Fung is the Uber-Douche, the "This one goes to 11" Douche, the one who makes people smack puppies.

Every bottle of Axe body spray should have a picture of Fung on it with the warning "Repeated use of this product could have an adverse affect on your overall appearance and you could end up looking like this dumb-ass."

Just my opinion, of course. YMMV. :)
 

Peyton List is awesome. Christina Hendricks is another two or three levels above awesome.

Re: Prince of Persia - is a guy who slaughters piles upon piles of evil minions ever worthy of the douche label?

Joey Porsche actually looks less repulsive than his date. And having seen those two epic failures, I will now chug Drano. Humanity's boned if that's the best we can do.

@ Gaijindouche 5:29 PM

You're addicted to that game, too? I knew I couldn't be the only one.
 

Fung. Prompa. Roidbag. I'm still having flashbacks from the 3 painfully douchetacular years I spent living in Jersey. Spiked hair. Fake tans. Wife beaters and pouty lips. It's the Jersey Shore of the Internet!
 

Did anybody look at Fung's fingers?!? I mean LOOK AT FUNG'S POSKA KEILBASA FINGERS!!!!

I can never eat a bratwurst again....


Ugh....
 

Joey P's prom date conjures Radiohead's Fake Plastic Trees.

Where's the wood chipper?
 

I believe that Nicholas Cage's son is something of a lite black metal fan. Yes, he does kinda look like a douche.

But if you're at least slightly familiar with metal sub-genres and the retarded scenes it's accompanied of, then you know it could be much, much worse.
 

Speaking of sex with teacher:

It looks like Nicholas Cage is doing his H.S. math teacher, or his mom is lookin' kinda grumpy. And I agree with above discussion re: metal. His appearance here is pretty mild for the genre. Maybe he's just new at this.

And I agree with others above: Joey Porsche's prom bleeth is actually douchier than he is. She has hyper high maintenance written all over her dull ignorant face. She'll get pregnant, turn into a sofa, and work at Walmart. I never thought I'd see Joey outclass anyone. That's such a depressing notion I think I'll start drinking. It's 9 AM on a Saturday, but heck - with Joey Porsche FUCKING JOEY PORSCHE actually looking like "the good citizen" compared to *anyone else* - fuck - civilisation's doomed anyway. I'll just crack open that Havana Club and go fetal in the closet.
 

I don't think Fung is on the way down, I think he's just reached his apex. And by apex I mean he's gone from orange to well-done, and is now ready to be served with an apple in his snout. To Rancor.

As for his kielbasa digits, some women would say that's an indication of a thick dick. But until Fung writes in and someone responds with a date invitation, I guess we'll never know. He'd probably want to stick it in the pooper only anyway, muttering: "This is just like fucking a dude." (That's a feeble Irreversible reference)

That Dutch dude, on the other hand, left me in complete stupor. God's dead, we're on our own.
 

AHHHHH! there's a way to kick off a hangover. I will surely puke now thinking of Fung.

this guy is appraoching Gator levels of vile. sheesh
 

Was the ubersquat wearing pleather pants at work? That's almost more disturbing than the hot tub photos.
 

I fucked a loaf of wheat bread once.
 

For the good of the many, please God, world, life, controlling fates, kill him. Not slowly. I am not vindictive. I just want him gone. It would be better for everyone. Even other douchebags see this one, shudder at his narcisslivercoloredscrotekissery and crawl back into their douchecaves to rethink the day's stradouchetegy. I feel sick. He can't be real. Please kill him.
 

All I know is that if Hourglass doesn't win hottest hott, there is no justice in the world.
 

are they even human?
 

This calls for a flame thrower. The resulting grease-fueled explosion may take out a good-sized portion of Jerz and do us all a favor.
 

You know, DB1, I think all Peyton List needs for Christmas is a pair of glasses to get your mind off that Rose Schlossberg hottie.

Maybe one of your talented friends will photoshop a pair on that picture for you.
Won't be me, I cna't work dick squat on this machine, I've not been tutored in the ways. My "special gifts and crafts" are in other areas.
 

HOLY FUCKING FUNG. MY EYES!
 

Joey Porsche and his date both appear to be baked to a golden brownish-orange, and her eye makeup looks like she has been taking beauty tips from MiMi off the Drew Carey show.
 

if life is a zombie movie, douchebags are the zombies. the hotts are the sexy characters who, to everyones surprise, get infected and, in tragic cases, become physically disfigured by their conversion. we are left to behold in horror their twsted beauty... too hot to forget, but too far gone to fuck. the worst comes as we recall a shotgun to the head works best.
 

Aww...It look like Fung took that picture in his grandma's bathroom..I bet he's just a big ole' softy.
 

Fung! UGH! It feels like his disgusting sausage fingers are reaching through the computer monitor and gagging me. Can't breathe....bile rising.... Toedeloeeeee!!!
 

Fung's my boy!!

☠ ASvB ☠
(\_(\
(=' :') ♥♥♥♥♥ Adolf das killer Bunny ♥♥♥♥♥
(,(')(')
 

Nice bunny, Adolf. How is the midwest reating you?
 

I have a feeling Joey Porsche could repeat. It is not one man the other douches battle it is a whole experience!
 

@Freddie Mercury's bleached skull.
Oh man. My monitor needed cleaning anyway...
 

Joey's bangin fungs litle sister.. I hope shes on the pill
 

Dang, a skull wearing a cowboy hat and a gold scarf??? Fung's tank top couldn't possibly be any gayer!!! Bumboy is clearly gearing up for a night out at the Blue Oyster Bar.
 

Fung is left-handed!
What a douche.
 

I'm so glad Fung has found a fellow orangeling girl. It makes me happy.
 

Speaking of Dutch:

Looks like Joey is really classing it up, location wise! Prom at the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam, oh wait, itz da Jerz.

But no chance that he would recognize Rembrandt's De Nachtwacht. About as likely as Fung NOT dying of skin cancer!
 

I'd love a three-way with Fung and Joey Porsche. They make me hard!
 

I would do unforgivable things to bite her tanned neck meat
 

In all seriousness does anyone here feel Bad that Joey P ACTUALLY DID DIE in a horrific car crash? I mean having fun is one thing, but we should leave the hateful: DIE! DIE! HE SHOULD BE KILLED!" to the asshole pseudo religious fanatic from the Middle East!
 

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