whoa, no mention of "Crucial"?
 

poor Donkey Douche is the Scorcese of the Douchies
 

bravo!
 

I don't get all the Blonde Hott hatred. Wimmins is wimmins , there's hotties of all varieties.


Now if the hate was directed at fat chicks, amputees, toxic waste dumps that will fuck anything (Carmen Electra, Pam Anderson, ets) and any chick with Criss Angel then now we're talking.
 

Hi DB1,
great job this year. Keep up the good work.

Merle Haggard
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

@vin douchal

I was privy, via another blog, to a top 50 list Playboy was compiling of the 55 people most influential in sex over the last 55 years. Granted, this would be subjective at best, but most of the people on the list made sense in one way or another, like Marilyn Monroe, Jenna Jameson, Alfred Kinsey, Hugh Hefner...and then we came to Pamela Anderson. In the midst of people who actually did something, anything, we had a big-fake-boobed blonde of no particular talent or note other than the various strains of hep she carries.

Boggles the mind.
 

Yay Medusa, very deserving!! I can't say anything about HottPotato cause I haven't seen a lot of her posts but she deserves a congrats too.


And another yay for hooligan getting douchebag of the year. Another very deserving of their award.

And I nominate myself for the hott voting.

And, HAHAHAHAHA I can play in the snow and then go to the beach! That's the only thing Hawaii has going for it.
 

Also, I nominate myself for hall of hott voting.

And I third party nominate are two favorite quasi-fictional posters, samurai and flyteeth, of course.
 

I want in on that Hall of Hott panel! I've been devouring bran flakes as of late, so I don't know how anyone could suggest that I'm not "regular." And if for no other reason, I really need another excuse to look at pictures of hot chicks on the internet.

Now is it just me, or did DJ Bello get through the entire 2008 season with ne'er a Douchie to his name?
 

are is not the same as our, Mr. White, you douche.
 

Good on ya, comrade.
 

Sorry, that Anon @ 9:49 is me. I got a little antsy with the trigger finger.
 

everyone wants to be on the hot panel.

i know i do
 

Great Douchies DB1.

justice has been served.

Army of Douche-ness
 

¡Aye caramba!

Congrats Metaphysical you big pile of monkey shit. You better watch that crown in ’09, or Droopy’s stretch marks are gonna swipe it from your star-shorn skull.
 

@ ash

Thank you, and I daresay there better be some estrogen tainting on that panel. I second Ashfish's auto-nomination, and I throw my own snakes into the ring for hottie panel voting!
 

It's been a great year.
 

It's been a great year.
 

The Douchies are already over! I can’t believe it.

Firstly, schmega dildos DarkSock and Baron! For their commentary doth reign supreme.

Secondly, if there was a Mount Rushmore for HCwDB ‘bag hunters, I would humbly serve as the artisan for the faces of DarkSock, The Baron, BCS, & Pfah. In addition, I’d put up Mr. White, Creature, Plinky (and the colossus that gave birth to him), Troy Tempest, Douchetoevsky, Wheeze, Vin Douchal, Massengill, Flyteeth… and I’d continue the list but the taste of cock is beginning to overwhelm my mouth.

And that list fails to take into account the prettier half of the hunting equation: ‘bag huntresses like IdahoHottPott, Medusa O, Orel Douchehiser, Ashfish, HSG, Buffy and others. Come to think of it, if I were the sculptor, the huntresses would include the fully nude body, tastefully done of course, in bas relief. Well, except for Orel…

My incoherent point being, I come here to read the stellar commentary of the regularly pontificating ‘bag hunters. In return for reading your musings, I pay my own toll in the form of a comment or seven… where warranted. This site harbors some of the most creative, comical and clever postings that I’ve seen and read on this here internets. If it weren’t for you sick individuals, I’d be spending my work days actually ensuring that the buildings I created didn’t fail. But that’s what my legions of engineering consultants are for. Methinks that saving humanity from douchebags is a worthy cause that can surely sustain a few casualties from collapsed structures.

So, in honor of the holidays, I’m going to fondle a lamb’s testicle while molesting my newly procured bottle of Del Maguey Pechuga Mezcal.

Thank you all,

Cheers!

And MERRY FUE TARMAL CHRISTMAS FAGOETHS!
 

I'm sad the douchies are done. But I would like to be part of the voting for the Hall.
 

I'll volunteer for any and all hott inspections required.
 

Congrats to all the winners, and by congrats, I mean kill yourselves...except for the hotts and huntresses of course, you all receive a well earned 5 piece Chicken Mc'Douche happy meal (in my pants)
 

Caption: Papsneer
 

As a regular turned lurker trying to make a regular comeback, I nominate myself for hall of hott voting. Actually being required to judge hotts for this site would certainly help me in that goal. And as a pleasant cherry on top, it would add some meaning to an otherwise soulless existence.
Congrats to Hooligan and Carly, tho as my first vote, no way will Carly make the Hall o' Hott. Maybe if she had some librarian glasses...
 

I just want my check for $100,000 for tie-ing with that dickhead pfah for Thread Mascot of the Year.

Whatever the hell that means?!
 

I don't know what "regular" means, and I certainly don't have a very witty nickname. But I've been voting, and I wrote some stuff. Your call.

Just as long as I know that Hourglass will get hers.

I lost my train of thought just typing that.
 

What about the douchiest tatt??!!!
 

so long as Rainbow Stripe Hott from Crustacean's pic makes the HoH, I don't care who votes on the panel
 

@ anon 9:35

Nice try Crucial.


But you are a funny dude.
And that's the most male affection you'll get from me ever again ...





































until you slap down another grand and get me drunk on Absinthe and Schnapps again.
 

Thank you, DB1! Congrats to all the Douchie recipients!

Ah, Hooligan, I did not vote for you, but you're certainly worthy of your Douchie, with that fake-punk sneer and craptastic star shavings. And Carly Hott, your chest may be saline-enhanced, but your sweet smile still makes my nether regions twitch.
 

Thanks DB1, for all your hard work and your well-deserved success for making the planet a slightly better place to live.

Enjoy your holiday time off.
 

Well challenged, Droopy.

I will submit that the JPE remains the gold standard for HCwDB of the year. But I will also salute MH's win and our free society with a two-shoe (combined size 21) salute.

Carly, I look forward to enjoying your next project, "Wide Open Beavers #83", in the new year.

Thank you for everything, DB1.

Fuck Fung.
 

boooo.

Don't know how Metaphysical Hooligan got to #1. I think much like the BCS (not me, but the BCS of college football) there are flaws in the system. But I digress.

Bag hunter of the year is dead on. Darksock and the Baron deserve much praise. And BvG with his halloween exhibit deserves a standing ovation from all of us.

Huntress prizes were much deserved as well, although I think Ashfish should've maybe had an award as well. But hey, not everyone can win.

Congrats to Amanda, Baglanta, Pfah, Plinky (for his limited service this year thanks to his prison stint) and all you other suckas who didn't get awards like Crucial, Mr. White, Troy Tempest, etc.

I would like to be on this so-called panel, as long as it doesn't involve any sort of hazing ritual in which objects are inserted into my rectum.

Well done everyone on a fine year of douche mocking and hottie praising.
 

Congrats to all the regulars here - you are the real winners.

and Congrats to the scrotes and bleeths, for you are also winners, and by that, in your case, I mean LOSERS.

Especially, to Mister Metaphysical Hooligan: I want you to know that your skanktastic third rate bleeth of a companion isn't worthy of sucking on my mahogany balls, and that's only because of her association with you, you greasy pile of poo. You can take that sneer of yours and shove it up your ass so far it comes out your mouth and you disappear like the snake you are, eating your own tail of poo.

And to Mia Sarah, you toothless twat. You were voted the hottest for reasons I still don't understand - there have been dozens of women with prettier faces, more toned bodies and didn't stink of Cosmo's and Long Island Ice Tea. You're clearly an idiot, and I am confident you will turn into a sofa after you squirt out some sproggen.

And to Samurai Scrote: don't give me your weirdness. You're an ass, and have always been an ass, and will always be an ass. So kindly take your hands off the hott and go do something meaningful like beat yourself to death in a 3 meter deep hole filled with organic compost. Ass.

And now, to Bra!!! Bra bro, you suck. I am confident you will rise to the top of your arrogance, and will end up some kind of a "leader of your community", assuming you spend your life in some suburban hellhole filled with retards like yourself. You and your smugness make me sick, and I hope you choke to death on your own ignorance.

To Criss Angel, lead dipshit scuzzball fuckwit of the ages: Fuck off, you dismal third rate skidmark of a human. That is all.

To the toxic morons who put together and work on "Sunset Tan". I pray you get cancelled immediately, and that none of you ever find any work in the consciousness industry, ever again, for your contribution is a stinking and contemptible disservice to humanity.

To Fish Slap and his win: Fuck You, Fish Slap. That is all.

To Hourglass: You are a walking / talking billboard for the American Cancer Society. Your skin will soon have the consistency of my shoes - dark, leathery, and covered with waxy polish to keep it from cracking. Now take your fake tits and sense of entitlement and spend some time working in a soup kitchen, feeding the homeless, the retarded, and those so deeply addled by the world they seek refuge in the kindness of strangers. Be some of that kindness, and redeem your pathetic life.

To the douchebags of Mo Cheeks: Take some philosophy courses when you sign up atthe community college. I know you'll probably be learning HVAC or welding, but the philosophy will make you better drones.

To Hamster Hott: You aren't worth the life of the nauga that gave its hyde to cover the bar booth bench you let loose your (to quote SS) queefy queefs. You're gross and I'd beat you in the face with my dick if it wasn't made out of HARD PINE.

To those involved with Still Life with Coors Lite: Like the subjects of a photo by Diane Arbus you are the rejects, the flotsam and jetsam of society. So, don't look so proud. Your visage will be remembered long after you are dead, and you visage is that of poo.

To Pink Popp: I'd do ya. But only for the money shot on your glasses.

To Master Blaster: The only good thing I can say about you is this; at least you'll be dead soon.

To the B4-4s: Calling what you do "music" is an insult to the spluttering cloaca of all the spastic echidnae in the world.

To Halo angel: You seem out of place here. Why you wanted a picture of yourself with that tool is something I still don't understand. All I can figure is that you're only 1/2 as smart as you seem, and with a choice in fuck buddy like that dolt, my estimates on your intellect are low.

To mister Ab Reveal: Yes, I would like fries with that.

To the girl who possesses the butt in Ass Not: your rump is lovely now, but I would submit it will be a jumbling blob of cellulite in 10 years.

To Dog: If you were smart enough to know what kind of an ass you are, you'd kill yourself. Luckily, you're dumber than a sack of hammers, and it is your stupidity that lets you live.

To all the Scrotes and Bleeths in God's Sneeze: But now so many years with this unopposed war, we have a generation - a generation - rotten to the core! And you are living proof of it.

To X-Lax: Zoolander was not a documentary.

To Fung: You are in deep need of psychological counseling. Get it. Now. Before you fall apart.

To DNA Dan: I'm afraid that anything I would tell you would only confuse you, and like your cousin, Mongo, I am convinced that when you get confused, you get sleepy. My only advice to you is to get a job with the state, preferably in the Railway system. You could probably be trained to be one of the Chimps who work in track repair.

To HJBB&D: You are a nobody and a nothing. You are so undeserving of my attention, I will give you the same as Fish Slap: Fuck you.

To Sue Ellen: your smile is lovely but you need to cut back on the caffiene - it makes your eye twitch.

To Brothabag Leon: Please read my advice to DNA Dan. It applies to you too.

To anyone who wears a wristdanna: Here's a dollar ----> $
Now please do yourself a favour and go buy yourself a clue.

To O-Prune: I have every confidence that you will end up in jail. Sue Ellen might be your defender. She's wired enough.

To the Blowfish: You are SO unique and SUCH an individual. Be aware: unemployment DOES eventually run out.

To Pippy: You are a fucking twit. Please remember to vacuum the trunk.

To the fist of Power: I wold recommend a fun tatt for your knuckles. Some four letter word. Something original like : FUCK or HATE.

To Wheatstalks: This is not how to go bald gracefully.

It's been quite a ride. I started reading this site in April, and started as Cheezeeporn, because I originally thought that was the intent here. I was wrong, and I am very glad I was wrong.

I then put together Steve Zodiac, but some useless scatfreak stole my gmail account. So, I came up with Troy Tempest. up here in the great white north it is getting whiter by the second - we're looking at 20 to 25 cm of snow.

So, rather than go to the office, I'm here at home, listening to iTunes cough up music at random (np: Tom Jones sings Thunderball. Previous tune: Too Little Too Late by Metric. Next tune, ummm... wait... Oh, nice: Suite 3 in C major BWV 1009: Sarabande by Bach, played by Pablo Casals.)

Well, my best to all. Oh and Medusa: given your "tastes" I think you should get an old psychedelic record that is available on CD.

"The United States of America" by The United States of America.

And CrucialHead: ignore Samurai Scrote. I think someone is just dickin' with ya.

Oh, and Plinky: you are correct. I am crazy. But so much crazier than you know. And not all of it in a "good way".

More later.
 

@Plinky,

That wasn't me at 9:35am. I would have been embarrassed and ashamed if I had been up there. I haven’t been a part of this site for long enough, and DarkSock and Baron are in a league of their own here...

...as is the legend of the behemoth that gave birth to your comical ass.
 

My condolences to the family of Deep Throat, on this dark day.
 

@Troy,

Cicero could have learned a thing or two from you, sir!
 

nicely done all.

and congrats to all the winners.

i would be comfortable replacing my name with bcs's in the honorees, but that's just me. but thanks DB1. i love you man.

sorry i have been absent for most of the latter portion of the voting.

i had the week off and went to my mom's to help her around the house for most of the week. as a firstborn son, it's my job to make sure she's taken care of and happy.

anyway, i hope all of you regs and anons have a wonderful holiday and share in many happy future memories with your family and friends. even you Doc. dickweed.

love,
pfah
 

and Crucial Head? i think you are fucking awesome.

have a great holiday my friend.
 

We are all so very, very awesome indeed!
 

I instantly recognized the Hooligan as a frontrunner for DotY upon his first appearance on this hallowed sight, as well as the nauseous appearances of DT & the Droop, albeit the latter 2 were carried largely by their hott accompanist. Still barf inducing they were!

Well produced '08 Douchies overall DB1... kudos all around. may I suggest in future consideration that the tech awards be opened to the comment thread gallery, as I believe we may have missed an opportunity for additionally hilarious observation. I, like my esteemed colleague Crucial Head, routinely return nearly daily for the commentary & remarks of fellow baghunters for the comic spark they supply to an otherwise dreary current landscape we are now mired in.

well earned recognition tho DarkSock & BvG, as they have reduced me to a piddling & twitching ball of blubbering inanity on many occasions. The recognition of Medusa (I remember Bagnes of God, & got it!) & Idaho Hott is also well earned. Honorable mention should also be extended to the aforementioned Crucial Head, Pfah, Mr. White, BCS (despite his totally gross-out links), Jean Claude van Douche, Orel, Plinky (glad you returned), Douche Vader, Troy Tempest & many others to numerous to mention... when busy I skim for their comments alone. not to be omitted the many new arrivals of this past baghunting season, Vin Douchal, AvSB, Douchelexic, Douchetovesky, Archdouchleis (sp?), Don't Wheeze, Douche unto Others & many more... you carry the future of baghunting!

my personal write in vote goes to I Killed a Hobo, for he has peed in my butt!

I also encourage any lurking anons to claim their glory (or retarded stupidity) by adopting a handle & avatar. I myself was a longtime lurker before embracing my idiotic responses & then lingered for months more before embracing an avatar... you will not be recognized in this forum until you do (maybe better yet.

& if I may be considered qualified to drool & make rulings on hotts, I would be honored as such

thanks for the grins & sidesplitting twitches y'all

the Creatch
 

oh, and i'd like to be part of the voting for the Hall of Hott.




i'd also like to borrow several dozen socks during the voting process.

Creature? can i borrow a few of yours? i'll wash them.
 

Oh, wow, I just became the Hillary Swank of the Douchies and forgot to thank DB1. Not like we're married, but I mean like Hillary forgot to--oh, fuck it, never mind.

There are really so many brilliant minds on here that have provided me with hours and hours of laughs and amusement. Awards are great, but it's the entertainment value we get for nothing but a few of our own biting comments. I've had a lot of fun with you guys, here's to 2009. We're all winners!!!


And by winners, I mean assholes.
 

With all disrespect to MH, the Droopster was robbed.
 

As The Wolf said in Pulp Fiction, "Let's not start sucking each other's dicks just yet."

Eh, who am I kidding? Dick for all you regs, who rock my digital world on a regular basis. And I mean "dick for all" in the most loving sense. I will pee on a tasty coed in honor of all of you.
 

@ pfah 11:23

you'll have to peel them apart as well!

& much respect, as a youngest son I've spent much time with my lovely aging mother this past week putting up Christmas decorations & shopping & wrapping Christmas gifts just cuz it makes her happy (& because my industry allows me ample idle time on occasion) at the risk of sounding condescending... "that's a good boy my lil' pfah!"
 

Alright let's stop sucking each others' dicks and get back to work.




And if I might be so bold as to say that darksock and Baron von Goolo should be excluded as nominees for all future "Bag Hunter of the Year" awards. The dude's are already Hall-of-Famers in my book. We know they're going to deliver day in and day out, year after year.

But then again healthy competition doth make for good mockery and what better way to be the man than to beat the man?

So go get 'em Crucial Head and Vin Douchal, or Troy or Mr. White or BCS ...



where the hell did Squath and Ed go?!?
 

'Squatch.' Christ I'm not even hung-over.
 

Will "Pocahontas" be a member of this Hall of Hott? Yak Hott needs a serious second look too.
 

yeah, i agree with motley douche.

i wanted the Droop to hang a Douchie in his cabinet.


instead, the only thing hanging is the Droop's f.u.p.a.


oh well. there's always next year Droopy!
 

Screw working on my last day before a two week vacation.

D.Baggins V2.0 inspired me to try my non-poetic hand at a semi-epic poem from my largely-erect loins:

Hot Chicks with Douchebags is a joy for ever:
Its loveliness increases; it will never
Pass into nothingness; but will remain
A mocking shelter for us, however insane
A flowery band to bind us to the earth,
Spectacle of despondence, of the inhuman dearth
Of scrotal auras, of the gloomy days,
Of all the tattoos and o'er-tanned ways
Made for our mocking: yes, in spite of all,
Some shape of beauty moves away the pall
From our dark spirits. Such the suckle thighs,
Hotts old and young, sprouting booby pies
That for themselves a cooling covert make
'Gainst the hot season; whether real or fake,
Rich with a sprinkling of fair daffodil blooms:
And such too is the grandeur of the dooms
We have imagined for the axe’d up ‘bag;
All lovely tales of umber skin begun to sag:
An endless fountain of immortal stink,
Pouring unto us from the greasy brink.
 

Congrats to the Metaphysical Hooligan!

And all you funny people. May your choads always be tastic.
 

i'd also like to say that's it's really nice to see some of the old-schoolers who have been absent, making a solid return in here as of late.

you know who i mean.




holy hanna!!

our bulldog, Petunia, just farted, and it smells like hot garbage in here right now.


christ.
 

@ Mr. White 11:30

Whoops, you got to if first. Great quote though.

@ Phah 11:11

I must have just missed you when you got to your mom's. Next time I'll wait for you to get there so I can at least say "hi."
 

@creature...kudos to you as well my friend. i'm no mama's boy, but i gotta tell you, there ain't nothing like being back at home for a couple days.


my dad passed away about a year ago, so going home for me now has a different spin to it, but there is nothing like family.

so, this holiday, when you are around family and friends, make it count. and never underestimate the power of a hug.

that's my public service message.



i'm going to go crack open a beer.
 

@plink...yeah man. no worries. you forgot your pants. i'll give them to you next time i see you. they smell like Darksock, which i thought was kinda odd.
 

I would love to be in on the hall of hott. FUck Hooligan and Nub
 

@ plinky

thought you might have engaged in some prison extra-curriculars with Squatch, Ed (child molester) & Pooh Convention
 

I must say, I do miss Doc and his many pseudonyms...

I don't miss Pfah, fuck him.
 

Oh Shit, he's back...I meant to say I love you and missed you Pfah.
 

MH you make my body wretch and twist in a way I didn't think possible. And while I didn't vote for you in the finals I did recently purchase an ebay auction entitled "I will kick you in the balls, hard" and it will be my gift to you. So if you see someone the size of Pumpy swinging a size 18 at the family jewels just remember that I was thinking of you.

CH that was friggin great man. I only wish DB would crack an epic out before the end of the year I really miss those.

And as for contributor(s) of the year I only partially agree with the selection. I think the award should go to anonymous, sure faceless anon doesn't have the same flair and je nes c'est quoi as DS or BvG but come on the guy has probably made 100K posts this year by himself. That is Herculean effort that only SS could truly appreciate.

Panel? DB I think you should clarify the selection process for the eventual panel. Will people of questionable sexual preference be allowed to participate? What I mean is will we be voting on midgets? And amputee's? And Tranny's? And urine soaked women? If not then White and I are probably out of the running but don't let that keep us from being considered.
 

@ pfah

So they smelled like a slaughterhouse?

@ Creature

Oh yeah that's right. Squatch is doing well, actually. He's up for "Prison Bitch of the Year," again.
 

@Ronald McDouchenald... it's nice to see where your loyalties lie, you massive bag of damp horseshit.


yet still i think you are hilarious.



happy holidays you testicle.
 

@pfah: It will only be a happy holiday if the Jets beat the snot out your 'hawks this weekend. That is truly all I want for Christmas. If the Jets win, I'll buy you a scarf.

From one bald bastard to another (and to everyone else, I guess) have a happy, healthy and choadfree holiday.
 

... you massive bag of damp horseshit.

pfah that was hilarious. I scared a couple co-workers from with my laugh.
I see those comedy courses you've been taking at the local junior-college are starting to pay off.

And I gotta agree with Ronald McDouchenald, at least in terms of the Jets defense. I'm need them to score big for me this weekend.

Btw I'm still laughing at the 'massive bag of damp horseshit' blast. Awesome.
 

Yes, indeed! I am now motivated more than ever to renew my 'bag hunting license for 2009!
 

@d. baggins

In a world that does not celebrate the same things we do, sometimes you must just use your imagination. If presented with a hott, I often make do with just imagining her soaked in pee.
 

The underside of my scrotum is getting all tingly just thinking about that chin-cheese brushing up and down it...
 

@ pfah

anyone can call me a "momma's boy" I was after all born by a momma (as opposed to plinky, who i believe was foaled)

I take care of my clan... that's how us creatures roll!
 

Crucial Head said...

@Troy,

Cicero could have learned a thing or two from you, sir!

You are too kind.

I think the only things Cicero could learn from me would be a few trivial things like "Don't Mess Around With Fascist Pig Fuckers" and "Run Fast And Far Before They Even Think Of Coming To Get You".
 

douchies were a blast. lookin foward to a new year of mocking the scrote. love to be on the panel of the hall of hott, just throwning it out there.
 

@ creature

I was hatched. Get it right pal.
 

Well played, bag hunters and huntresses, I'm very pleased with the voting.

Congratulations to Medusa, Darksock, BvG and IHP for hunters of the year, you guys are the pillars of this temple.

And, if it so pleases db1, I'd love to nominate myself to the HoH panel.

Now let's give our retinas and nerves some well deserved rest. Onward and upward in 2009!
 

It was a great 2008 for baghunters and haters alike! This site is the one thing I can count on as I watch my 401K disappear.

I'd love to be a panel judge for the Hall of Hott. I have firm opinions on the all important subject of hott.
 

Good game everybody
good game.
 

@ Pappa's Got a Brand New Bag

We should start a hotchickswithdouchebags mutual fund.

In fact DB1 should give those of us who have come here for a year or more stock options for this website then take this bitch public.

Can a website like this actually go public?

I {{{shudder}}} at the thought.
 

To His Coy Crucial,

That poem was Andrew Marvellous.
 

You guys can have the mutual fund or 401K. I just want the pictures from DB1's eventual nuptial night with Elizabeth Banks. I’m getting tired of trying not to get caught while digging through his garbage on trash days.

And it’s high time we quit picking on Plinky. It’s not his fault that his mom is so enormous that, when viewed through heat seeking infrared goggles, your retinas will be scorched to the point of blindness.
 

Thanks for the entertainment for the year, DB1. Hope next is just as good.

I could've swore I counted the votes on the HCwDBOTY and Droopy won by at least 20 votes...so I feel a bit...I dunno, kinda like after the Florida results in the '04 election. Jilted. Because Surfer Kelly deserved to be permanently on here. Again, I state that the Hooligan has not made the permanent choice of Douchebag, as every single attribute he has can be grown out or healed, leaving nothing. He shows NOTHING like the true dedication of last year's winners, or Droopy.
 

Let me be the first to say we all nominate ourselves for the thankless job of wading through the mundane task of comparing and rendering opinions on the female types needed for Db1's project.

I found this website clicking over here from Tucker Max.com and thought it was a good idea. But, looking therough the archives I wasn't quite hooked.

Then, I caught a Flyteeth post when he was in early and almost crapped myself. It opened my mind to the other guys and I've been here ever since.

You folks are an addiction and there's never a dull moment.

The only thing I'd like to see for next year is if Db1 could jump in the thread when the comedy gets rolling. You're a very funny guy but the story isn't over on the front page.

Mix it up Db1.

Congrats to winners.
 

as much as i would like to nominate myself for the hall of hotts panel, I feel like I can't afford to have anymore wives what with Halo Angel, Four Points, and April already crowding my race car shaped twin bed.

oh what the hell. I'm throwing my name in there as well.

and if anyone needs socks, my mom has those pink fuzzy ones. lots of them. I can steal them for you guys. they feel just like a real boy.
 

@ plink

I think you meant hedge fund. Hedging against the ever growing tide of fungus that seeps in to everyday and infects the otherwise banal existence of Joanie and Johnny Notadouche. Funding covert, antidouche, guerrilla operations in Jersey, Vegas, Dallas and Chicago targeting only the greasy and the vain. (The greasy and the vain sounds like an old Clint Eastwood movie) Many of you don't realize but we've been in training for just this sort of guerrilla activity for years and just when we least expect it DB is going to activate all of us and form a supercell of douche terrorists ready to drop trash cans on the heads of any nearby bags. He'll call it Project Douchedom.

My name is Robert Paulson.
 

@ Douchelexic

wow. you took it to a new level: they feel just like a real boy.

That shook the foundation of my soul ... and I laughed.
 

Also, while I of course give "mad props" to Darksock and BvG I also feel like the witty one linerss of the ever drunk crucial were over looked. as well as the vaguely creepy yellowed comments of our friend Mr. White.

Medusa, when you and Ash are married, I would be more than happy to come clean up for you ladies just to overhear what i am sure would be hilarious pillowtalk.

To my fellow California bag hunters: What the fuck is going on? There was ice on my car this morning. I had to break out the ridiculous earflap hat i wore when I lived in chicago. Sorry. I've just been working outside all day and my nuts have migrated somewhere north of my liver.
 

I feel you douchelexic... & by feel you I mean warm my hands on your balls?
 

@ Vin: DB1 can’t join the comments thread, he’s like Will Ferrell in the debate scene from Old School, he writes his post and then needs to nap for at least 30 minutes before he can form another cogent tought.
 

@ Crucial

I was reading through some of December 2007's threads and was quickly reminded that some of us had a running joke going - -> euphemisms for masterbation.

With that being said, I'll try to get another one going - [Clears throat] -

When all snuggly in bed on a cold winter night, I'll sometimes pull down my Incredible Hulk pajama bottoms and pretend I'm banging on crucial head's mom's coconut-shaped skull like a desperate otter trying to crack open one fucking tough oyster.
 

Amanda with the posthumous win
 

Lots of courtesy reach-arounds here among the winners. Nice. I can feel the love. And by feel the love, I meant the huntresses boobies.

Happy Holidays, all...
 

Il Chaodrino has been awfully absent too. All my friends are gone.
 

It looked like a toss up between Chicago and Vegas for the douchiest city this year.

However, one must recognize the great city of Chicago is hosting an outdoor hockey game courtesy of the NHL at Wrigley Field.

This has to be a huge redeemer.




Like when Plinky hands you a Wet One to wipe off your johnson after you pull it out of his mother's butt
 

darksock's mom is so fat she broke Earth's gravity.
 

plinky

Il Choadrino funny fuck that he was is also Poo Convention

come back PC!

not to mention Bag Out! among others
 

@ Vin douchal 1:35

That's just gross.
But keep up the good work.


Vin douchal's mom is so old her family was one of the first to have fire in their caves.
 

db1, Thanks for shepherding us through another year of doucheness
 

Well, that was fun.

If my disproportionately large head was able to handle a hat, it would be off to the Metaphysical Hooligan. Although I believe the case I made for Droopy was thorough, I did not take into account your other two pictures, both of which gave my gag reflex a vigorous workout. Although I still think your girlfriend looks like a ventriloquist's dummy, you are unquestionably HCwDBotY.

To QMSH, I did not vote for you either but that does not mean that you fail to bring a tingle to my dusty, jaded nethers. You are immaculate - or at least you were, pre-tonguing - and are an outstanding Hottest Hott.

Now that I think of it, the only douchebag I voted for that won anything was the Blowfish, which is kind of like picking best Costume Design in your Oscar pool and missing everything else. Obviously I need more practice, and would be honored to help with the Hall of Hott.

And finally, I want to thank my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who in His infinite wisdom saw fit to mold me in the image of an utter bastard, one fit to be your co-'Bag Hunter of the Year. Thanks also to DB1, not only for having the inspiration to start this site, but for choosing to reward this cavernous void in my soul, one which I fill with arbitrary and capricious spite for young men with less sense and better abs than myself.

And to my co-Hunter, DarkSock, you have made me laugh more and more often than anyone else here. I am humbled to share the winners' dais with you. Although were we to actually meet, I'm sure we'd both think the other an unmitigated catfucker.

Merry Christmas to all and to all FFS.
 

@ creature

Yeah that's right. Il Choad was one of those multiple users.
Like Crucial's mom's johnson.
 

even though a tie is like kissing your sister, kudos, backslaps and blowjobs to all the winners, contenders and pretenders.

you are indeed all a bunch of sick, demented, twisted, alcoholic, bass playing, momma's boys. which is precisely why i love you heartless, hilarious, bastardos. you've all made the impossibility of living in this grieco-virus infested culture just a wee bit more bearable and less insane.

so in honor of you all, i'm going to go ahead and give what's left of my bloated liver the pounding it so richly deserves. i then plan on getting all maudlin and weepy while i jerk off dreaming of medusa oblongata spanking my bare bottom with a rancid herring and telling me i'm scum.

so to you all, the words of a famous canadian never rang more true when i say:

Cheers Fuckface!


TaRMAL!^&@
 

@Plinky
Re: "like a desperate otter trying to crack open one fucking tough oyster."

Hilarious, and impossible to follow. I'm not even going to try. Much like D. Baggins' mom. She just lies there.
 

Hallelujah amen. The hooligan's road to victory has finally come to an end.

Merry Christmas, fellow douche-hunters.

Oh, and fuck fung.
 

@Douchetoevsky

You've had that dream as well? In mine, however, she spanked my ass with a Sperm whale's penis.

And there's something ineherently homosexual about that image. ?
 

I've got a folder full of submissions that I've been sandbagging waiting for this to be over so I can email 'em to DB1.


And by sandbagging I mean tea bagging and by tea bagging I mean my special time with Plinky's mom
 

There was an especially memorable evening in the early fall of ’01. It was only minutes after the twin towers came down, as I recall. My mind was swirling with all sorts of confused thoughts and questions. I retired to the bathroom and quickly locked the door. As I hovered over my porcelain throne, my left hand against the wall and legs akimbo; I began to imagine Plinky’s mom’s bulbous earlobes flapping against the folds of her neck as she descended the stairs in her apartment - with jelly from her thirteenth donut that morning, decorating her mustache. Needless to say, the sounds that were emitted from the bathroom over the next fourteen seconds were akin to the sounds a beached and bloated walrus makes when being run over repeatedly by a bulldozer… as I spilled all my future children and their children’s children into the swirling bowl below me.
 

Just ran across this scrolling newsflash on CNN:

Warning! Due to the copious quantities of blog postings by a few architects - the International Building Council, in conjunction with the Underwriter’s Laboratory, must declare an unusually large number of structures in the deep South and Southern California coasts unfit for occupancy. Pending a number of our special structural inspections, we hereby deem these areas, “prone to disastrous events that may, or may not include: compromised structural integrity, waterproofing failures, and an inordinate amount of buildings resembling The Gherkin.
 

OK, now that the Metaphysical Hooligan/Fooligan/Tooligan/Poo-ligan is this year's DOUCHEBAG of the Year, I think that should engender automatic admission into the Hall of Scrote.

But congratulations to the winning baghunters/baghuntresses (and all of us "close seconds") on your excellence here - you are all deserving of high praise for your efforts and for giving me daily laughter fits. To all the hotts I extend.....ummmmm, I think you know what I'm extending. (Yes, it's extended, damn it. I was in the pool.)

And to all the douchebags, I extend a huge middle finger to your efforts to blindly yet freely fit in with your asshat crowd. Of course, none of you have minds of your own so you likely won't understand the depth of your misdeeds, but I hope you all see yourselves being mocked on this site and learn to live with your shame.

Now, for Hall of Hott nominees:

Mia Sara Quartasian Goddess Hott
Surfer Kelly
April (and her lovely sideboob)
Ass Pear
Ass Not What.....
Brianna Frost (just kidding unless there's a Hall of Bleeth in the future)
Sue-Ellen

I will have more.
 

@ Crucial

Bra-fucking-o! You built the joke up nicely then smacked me (us) in the face with solid imagery.

You are wise now, grasshoppah.
 

I really, really want to get a job as an architect. It sounds fun.

Curial and 'sock, how do I go about becoming an architect?
I'd be making shit designed like va-jay-jay's, and aereolas, and puckered assholes, and one unique building shaped in the form of two lepers fucking. Or, in other words, like Vin douchal's mother.
 

@ vader

Yeah bangin mom is akin to stuffing your penis in to a prairie dog tunnel, mostly boring and hard to deal with but every once in a while something furry runs up and bites your pecker.

Which reminds me of the time I was shoving those fat little grassland rodents up Sock's mom's ass. Right before mounted the great beast she turned and politely asked me to add a rattlesnake or two in her chasm in hopes that the would fight to death inside her. Now that was county fried goodness.
 

@ Plinky

Every time you pinch a stack right off at your slicer and look back to see it's still standing right there you've created an edifice as intriguing as that Gherkin.

I can't tell if that's supposed to be shaped like a bullet or your mom's cocaine sphinctering capsule.
 

And let us not forget the fourth installment of TMH's poo-rowess: Metaphysical Hooligan Saturday.

And to think TMH was but "a dark horse":

==================================
But the odds are long. Early oddsmakers have Droopy McScrote at 2:1, with Bra!! at 4:1, Deathtongue at 6:1 and T.A. only at 10:1. One dark horse to split the vote is The Metaphysical Hooligan.
==================================

In Hooligan's case, it appears a third and fourth effort pushed him over the goal line the way I just pushed out some stool.....
 

@ Vin Douchal

Can't wait for that Winter Classic.....and watch it from here in sunny SoCal. Enjoying my post-NYE come-down errrrrr HANGOVER *ahem* in 75-degree weather while watching 80,000 people freeze their asses off just makes me laugh to no end.


And DB1?

I would sincerely like to be on that panel. Like, I would even brave another trip on Metro to Hollywood for another face-to-face interview.
 

@Plinky,

That's funny because you just described the collective works of Frank Gehry to a tee. Maybe there is a future in Architecture for you after all.

...except for the nagging fact that we don't accept applications from ex-con muppets, whose enormous mothers have a penchant for wearing glory hole doilys over their blimp-shaped thunder thighs.
 

dude, kissing your sister is gross. you should just smooch her pooper.
 

@ crucial-

that was the funniest goddamn thing i've read since plinky's mom's Weight Watchers journal was on The Smoking Gun.

kudos!
 

@Everyone:

I can't feel my face!!!
 

Now, for Hall of Hott nominees:

Mia Sara Quartasian Goddess Hott
Surfer Kelly
April (and her lovely sideboob)
Ass Pear
Ass Not What.....
Brianna Frost (just kidding unless there's a Hall of Bleeth in the future)
Sue-Ellen


OK, we know Holy Blue Triangle is in as well. I can't believe I didn't mention Carly Hott in the last post, but there's another nominee. More:

Pajama Choad's Hott
Purg Hottie (of course)

OK, you horndogs add some more - Wheeze has stuff to do before this weekend's Illinois trip. Have a great weekend all!
 

Anyone who thinks the wrong person won, need look no further than Pic Three. If you had used that, it would have been no contest. Droopy isn't in the same league. His hot is, but not him...
 

Well done Metaphysical Hooligan.
Well done.
 

YOu California fucks still around?
 

@ Crucial and Douchetoevsky

The Dow Jones fell 700 points today when douchetoevksy's mom parked her fat ass on a Wall St. bench.
 

This California fuck is still at the office.

And by office I mean the place where I rub thongs on my asshole and sell them to perv's on the internet at CarmenElectraUsedPantiesOnly$99Each.com.




Free shipping through Saturday Dec 20
 

@Plinky

This Cali fuck still is. 3PM, still sober, on a Friday. Despite the shocking LA cold (53 degrees)! Surreal.

Your mom was going to get a job in Washington, but the title "lobbyist" just didn't fit. I heard the settled on "entire buildingist."
 

Hooligan is what he is, an extreme Douchebag, and worthy of the win. He's a real dog.

For the record, the armpit of mid-America is a specific place called NEW ORLEANS, not the whole goddamn midwest and great plains, lest we forget that an armpit is a smaller, darker unshaven place than the rest of the body, with a stink all its own. Actually, N.O. is the armpit of the South.

Any candidate for armpit of the north might be Chicago, but that's only because of the political machine and hairy creatures like Blagdojevich who hail from its nether regions.

And since there are two arms for each body, Chicago would do as well as N.O.

We might have to have a contest on which city is the Twat of Them All.

Just sayin' it, Medusa, cuz it needs to be heard. Anybody advertisin' their own skank on a site dedicated to douchebags and Bleeths shouldn't have to be reminded, but DAWG-GONE IT, I'll do the task.

You bury the bone or the shit, take your pick!!!!!
 

The weather here in SoCal has been so unusually cold, we had to burn Orel Douchehiser’s mom’s pendulous labia blubber to thaw out the 405 freeway this morning.
 

Pfah, you have a bulldog named Petunia? HAH! I have one named Priscilla & her farts smell like, well, damp horseshit. :) Love bullies, but you have to learn to live with their gas for sure...

So it's Metaphysical Hooligan and good on ya mate...you can put this on your "resume" for winning HCwDB of the Year.

I love this website & it has made me laugh during a time in my life when it was hard to do, so happy holidays to all of you sick fuckers (but that's why I love you)!!

Smooches, Suzy
 

this california fuck is moving back and forth between his warehouse and his office. fuck warehouses. I wonder if I could hire TMH to run it for me when he gets tired of shaving a fucking star in his head.
 

Thanks to db1 and all the commenters for helping me be even less productive in 2008 than I was in 2007. Even though none of my picks won any awards, it's comforting to know that the next Samurai or Fung is out there somewhere, waiting to be discovered. And by discovered, I mean mocked mercilessly.

Happy Holidays!
 

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they were actually worried about this So Cal cold snap causing a rise in the cost of natural gas so they gave plinky's mom a case of costco's Kirkland Bean Burritos.
 

All my future jokes are going to be directed at Orel Douchehiser since he left the fold this week.

That said, when my wife is out of town, I like to dim the lights, pour a nice glass of Franzia White Zinfandel, and imitate Michael J. Fox trying to pluck his own cock shaft hairs while thinking of Plinky’s mom masticating a raw rack of lamb while her ginourmous bull dog jowls clap like rabid soccer fans after watching a Manchester United goal.
 

samurai scrote's prolapsed rectum gave birth to plinky's mom on a snowy night in bethlehem.
 

you West Coast pussies need to buck up. 56 degrees?!??

we run around with no pants on in that kind of weather.

shit, it's 68 here right now.









honey?...where are my pants?
 

@Crucial Head....dude...be careful. Man U is the best club to ever grace the face of the earth. keep talking like that and jesus will poop on you.


and i'm not even kidding.
 

@pfah...
Check around your ankles.
 

@Douchelexic....nope. not there....



oh...





the bulldog is wearing them.


that's odd.
 

@ Vin douchal

I'll take 2000 pairs, please.

@ Douche Vader

Waaaaaaaah. You poor, poor Los Angelinos. (Or is it Los Angelites?) This morning during my drive to work it was raining ice.
Did you hear that?! It.Was.Raining.Fucking.Ice.

@ Crucial Head

We here in Cleveland use our electric turkey knives to trim the jiggly blubber from your mom's upper arms and use that to fuel our lamps as we sit around the fireplace and play masterbatory puppet shows with the shadows cast onto our living room walls. Then for the creme de la creme, Baron von Goolo comes in dressed in full Boris Karloff - with a hint of John Waters - drag and demonstrates his sexual prowess by fucking a canned ham while hanging from the ceiling and smoking out of Jerry-Garcia-head bong.
 

@plink....is THAT where the glaze on the canned ham comes from?
 

Shit, I had ice on my windshield this morning too...

... then I had to explain what ice was to my daughter.

You think that was easy?!! Have you no shame?

Your a cold, cold man Pfah.
 

@ Crucial 3:22

When your wife is out of town she tells me what you do ... as we're undressing each other.



Ooooh, low blow. I brought the wife into it. Hey you left it out there.
 

@Plinky:

Zzzzing!! I felt that one Bra!ski!
 

@ plinky
it's angelenos. and quit bitching about raining ice. a few times a year here it rains ash. like the apocolypse.

of course, cleveland is already the 9th circle of hell, so that's probably a daily occurance there.
 

**hiccup**

Aimm jesh gonna schtumble dowwn ttto the sthore fer sumore alkohall.

brb...
 

i had shit on my windshield this morning.















my shit.


yeah. go ahead and try to explain that one.
 

@Douchelexic

No. No. I respectfully disagree. I'm pretty sure Cleveland was downgraded to the 5th Circle of Hell. So in essence it's creeping ever so closer to being the biggest circle of Hell.
 

Crucial Head might be a wee bit schnokered.

and god bless him.



i am working on it.
 

@pfah

I had CUM on my windshield this morning. Then my dick got stick in the broken glass ... while I was driving!!
 

@pfah-

actually that wasn't your shit. I replaced yours with one of mine this morning. I thought the liquid nature of it would make the freezing of it a little better.
 

'stuck' in the windshield. Goddammit now I AM gonna start drinking. Damn typing while I'm sober bullshit!
 

Well, I am pleased and honored to share this award with The Baron, and I have prepared the following statement:

Is there a cash prize? Seriously.

Also, in a stunning plot twist, there are several other regs I would like to give thanks to:

- Elastic Snap Hole of The Love Bear,
- Blinded by the light dressed up like a douche,
- Admiral Hamilton ManTitty
- i killed a hobo
- And, of course, Turtle Boy,

Because....
 

I
 

am
 

all
 

of
 

them!



(i like turtles)
 

Thank you to DB1 for showing us the way of the hottie boobie velvet suckle thigh.
Thank you to all the choads and hotts who make us cringe.
Thank you to all the regulars, who make us laugh at the cringe. (And an extra thank-you to the regulars who posted halloween pics. All awesome!)

Brothers and sisters in arms against the simulacrum of reality where a bottle of vodka is a status symbol of quality, but it's mixed with cranberry and loses its taste. Where people get foreign-languages and symbol tattoos for their significance, but can't read them. Where they imagine themselves as individuals and rebels by wearing the same mass-produced Ed Hardy and Affliction shirts. Where they invest other people's money in Ponzi schemes because it looks good, without doing their legal due diligence. Where they want to be president, and "make decisions", without understanding the complex causes and consequences (it'd help if they could name the newspapers they read, too). It's all the same... imagining that the brand is the cause and not the result. "Fake it till you make it?" Even with bloodshot Night Train eyes, we see through the symbols, and we see they'll ALWAYS be fake.
Let us mock them mercilessly.
 

By this time I'd be mixing some BV with some weird fruit juice I just bought and gettin' ready to go out.

Let me say this to you younger people who aren't married yet:
When you do get married have friends who are single and/or without kids. Cuz they'll fuck up your plans every time.
They have the stick-to-it-tiveness of an Alzheimer patient smoking crack.
 

Plinky, is it true that blimps get lost in your momma's crevasse?
 

while I support your shared victory darksock, i just think you should know.

I'm every single anonymous poster.
 

@ Creature

No. They get lost in the fog that comes out of her fat mouth on her fat head.
 

goddamn you DarkSock!

you just made me crap my pants



again!
 

Did I just blow your mind?

Because that just happened.

With so many new posters and regs I figured its time to take my meds, JUST post as DarkSock and clear the airwaves a little.

I think Baron figured out I was elastic; no one else ever quite noticed how those guys never voted, or always seemed to post at the same time as me.

Eh well good riddance to those loons. They were all kind of weird anyway if you know what I mean.

And Congratulations on 'Bag Hunter of the Year, Comments Threads, Baron! I am your number one fan. In fact, I'm in your front yard right now, under the bushes by the master bathroom, trying to hide the soft glow of my laptop.....
 

@ Douchelexic...

dammit...I KNEW it....
 

@darksock

are you about to do to the baron what that crazy bitch did to paula abdul?
 

oh, but i'm NOT the anon who rips on medusa. someone stole my password. because medusa is ten times the man i could ever be, even though she is all woman.
 

@ all

And as I mentioned earlier
Dark Sock is really Samurai Scrote.

See how Samurai fucks with our minds. He's that powerful.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

@Darksock....i am happy that you have dropped all of you other personalities. nothing is as wonderful, inspirational, and retarded is the original.


happy holiday you festering ass pimple.
 

you = your



fuckin eh. not bad for being 11 beers deep into the evening.




booyah!
 

is = as



ok. maybe i am slightly hammered.
 

Time zones, work and language skills buttfuck me, but I try to give my humble contribution whenever I can (usually when everyone else is still in the land of nod). I hold no illusions about being even half as witty as some of you mainstays, but you're all an inspiration. As well as a source of innumerable guffaws, choking on smoke puffs, and admiration.

As for the nominees/winners, it seems that neither the number of the votes mattered, nor the "arguments", but who gives a fuck. It's all about mocking the 'bags and having a good laugh.

A special mention to all the "huntresses", especially Medusa and Ass... Sorry, Ashfish. You're a light in this dark night that is today's fairer sex. Let nobody tell you you're tier 2. Medusa actually makes me feel emasculated.

Cheers!
 

I was gonna make a joke about Crucial, but he drinks White Zinfandel, which is funny enough in and of itself.

DS, goodonya for the win. And by goodonya, I mean that whatever it is that Plinky's mom secreted looks goodonya.

Also, I prefer Los Anglinians.
 

good god. it's colder than a yeti's balls out here in so cal. so i think i am going to cut out of work early and make some hot toddys.

and by hot toddys i mean squirt my manjuice onto plinky's mom's toes. (how does someone have fat rolls on their toes by the way?)
 

@DarkSock,

I've known those guys were you for a while, but I didn't want to spoil a good thing.

I've been a few other people myself, here and there. Like, gee, I wonder who Walrus Whisker could be??
 

@Douche Vader,

Ya got me there brother!

Franzia and I have a "special relationship."
 

Hey where's my douchie? I'm definitely douchey enough for a douchie. Look @ my vid if you need evidence.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8N99MWUKavU

-Bobby Batz aka DJ Bello
 

If any of you faggoty So-Cal's gripe about the 'cold' weather out there one more time I'm going to steal my grandmother's Pinto, haul ass out there, find each of your houses, rape your goldfish in front of your kids, kick your wives in her tucked junk, slap each and every one of you bitches across your sea-scalp lotioned faces, and then I'm going to cook a roast beef in your oven and slam it down on your Ikea dining room set and sit on it bare-assed until the Clippers win a world championship.

You know how long that means, don't ya?!
 

@Crucial.....wine in a box bro....wine in a box.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

yeah.

what Plinky said.


you West Coasters need to stop whining about your current weather right fucking now.

go throw on some North Face gear and get a fire started.


fucking wusses.
 

Droopy McScrote, Irish kin from County Douche, you were ROBBED! Make no bones about it folks, there is a revolt that needs to be administered to remove the crown of The Metaphysical Hooligan hand it over to its rightful owner!

After all, you're already a douche if you're an Astros fan, wear rings, and have a tat that has one half saying 'thirteen' on your stomach! Much like the aggravating 2000 presidential election, we need to RECOUNT!
 

If you have palm trees, that means you don't have weather, and thusly cannot complain about weather-related incidents.

It's cold as balls and snowing where I am. And I'm in the South. You New Yawkers have it so much worse than I do.
 

Yo Bobby Batz

you're definitely a douchebag, but you know the rules.... It's HOT CHICKS with DoucheBags! never seen a hot chicks in any of your gay lil' frolics!

& no, putting eye makeup, lipstick & a wig on one of your fruity lil' pals doesn't count

until you produce a HC, you'll just be a fruity little douche
 

@ pfah and Crucial

Wine from a hobo's urinary tract. From a hobo's urinary tract!
 

Did someone mention absinthe, Mrs. Buttersworth, and Four Points?
 

@Pfah-
I'll whine about my weather if I want to. (I think Inland Northwest counts as West Coast) Not that you'd hear my whining, because the 3 fucking feet of snow would muffle the sound. Oh, also, it's slurred. My current wine may not be in a box, but it gets me just as drunk.
 

@Jean Claude - I want to molest your avatar.
 

lame. long live droopy mcscrote...
My original vote was strcken from the rekkids. This site is a farce.
 

@JCVD:

Let's leave Douchetoevsky's masturbation habits out of this.


Schmega dildo's to you on the avatar though! I think I see four syrup bottles, thirteen titties, and a douchebag...

...but maybe that's the mescal talking.
 

@IHP:

Congrats on your victory today! Well earned.

If I wear JCVD's avatar on my face will you... you know...
 

@Anon 5:34

Try drinking a box of wine, it makes everything okay.
 

@ Crucial.

Hell yes. With pleasure. But I think it might get sticky.
 

what happened to the award douchiest bello?????
 

I'm in Fort Worth, Texas and just set down to dinner. Couldn't wait till I got in my room and see the results, so I borrowed Pfah's iPhone.

Congrats to all the winners! You guys have me addicted to this shit!! And speaking of shit, someone left itty-bitty pecker marks on my windshield.... Darksock!!!!!!

A special congrats goes out to Medusa; and when I say special, I mean, "Where's my Chicken-Pot-Pie woman??"

Medusa told me she wanted me to treat her like real woman, so I took off my shirt, threw it to her and told her to iron it!


ASvB

Just kidding Babe, luv ya!! :-P
 

Felicitations all around, winners!!!

To all the veteran regs, I wish you the best this season and all through the new year.

To the newer regs, I wish you the same and also want to thank you for harmonizing so well with the vets. In the key of scrote, of course.

To the ever-present anons, you are the spice and/or the dogshit of this site. Bless you and fuck you sideways. Whichever works, works.

To Chicago radio's own RANDY: Lack of talent really sucks in the long run, doesn't it, chief?

To my investment broker, who argued with me over increasing my purchase of shares in major pharmaceuticals with interests in treatments for STDs: I know, right, Karen?

To DB1: Just a simple and profound Thank You for creating an oasis of sanity in a single-portioned, pre-assembled, no-tools-required culture. As my world has continued to slowly unravel this year, you have helped to remind me that the world outside is broken loose from its moorings.

Heh. There's a mixed metaphor. Good limoncello does that for me.

Happy holidays to you all.

And Fuck Fish Slap with Fung's baby carrot.
 

@ ASvB

You have a chicken-pot-pie woman?

Can I borrow her for my freakshow?

I promise to return her mostly unharmed.
 

@ BvG

Damn, forgot a comma didn't I???? Me bad, very bad.

Congratulations BvG!!!! You are one funny MoFo.

ASvB
 

... last time I had an existential crisis like what I get with MH was when I watched my pet fish eat their young. I thought, why would living creatures in captivity destroy their young? Now I know.
 

I’ll freely admit that I don’t know exactly when the Louis Vuitton Damier Neverfull came out. I remember it was still hotly anticipated the last time. and sometime between then and now, it showed up on eLuxury as a new arrival. And you know what? I love it. It’s not as obvious as Louis Vuitton’s monogram version, but it’s still insanely practical, simple, and chic. It’s a big that can be used year-round for years to come, and in an uncertain economy, longevity of a bag’s design is something that’s on the minds of more and more people. We all know that Vuitton’s canvas wears like few other materials, and a bicolor material like Damier can be paired with a variety of clothing choices. For maximum versatility, I’d go with the MM - not too big, not too small, perfect for lots of uses.
http://www.europehandbag.com/louis-vuitton/damier-canvas-neverfull-gm-handbag-lv-n51106.html
 

200!