No one is more deserving of this dubious honor than Fish Slap!
 

Didn't we have a name for the gal on the left, too? Bree, I think?

Good to see ya again, Bree. You know you give your poor college roommate on the right a complex, right? In any other context, she's quite the hott in her own right, but she will forever be in your orbit, a dark moon to her shining Jupiter. Well, until Bree hits 30. Given her orangey appearance now, I don't thinks she's going to age well.

Speaking of hotts, I'm going to throw out a comment on the DBoTY category: Medusa, speak not of tiers. Your rapier wit makes you transcend tiers, baby.
 

oh fuck him
 

fuck fish slap
 

Donkey Douche must be soooo pissed right now!!

But, being that they are friends, they'll probably meet up at Crobar and reminisce on tales of their club douchery while they flaunt the award in Stanley Cup fashion.

Fuck Fish Fung
 

Yes, yes and yes. The yearly final may disappoint, but this is redemption. Thank you DB1. Fuck you, Fish Slap.

Fuck Fung.
 

I felt he was strong enough to get bag of the year from his 2008 pics alone.

I see what you did there with the Douchies.
 

My 2008 year is now complete -- Fish Slap wins a Douchie!
 

Fuck me if Fishslap doesn't pull the hottest ass by HCwDB standards. Some of those girls are like straight off a production line, with a bunch of Pakistani kids working tirelessly for $1/day to achieve android-like perfection.

Slated for 2010: models with brain simulators and a lexicon featuring polysyllabic words.

And I think I've deciphered those Roman numbers on Fish's forearm: it's the year of douchepocalype. And it says "2009".

Congrats!

Where's Amanda to fawn over abs?
 

The babe on the right gets into clubs with a fake ID that states that her name is "Meyerly Sighruss"

FishSlap has raised the bar for future DB's.

Steve Kramer of CNBC's Mad Money has recommended a "strong buy" for creatine based workout supplements, designer t-shirt manufacturers and body art farms as he sees the market trending towards rampant douchebag competition in '09.

Buy low, sell high, Slappy, you da man.
 

Nana nana NA NA... What a scrotum!
 

I had to zoom in on the pic and look at the cigarette dangling next to Caitlin, the windblown fembothott. I first thought that Fish Slap had received a manicure. Now I can't figure out why those three fingers and that Virginia Slim Light 100 are just dangling there.

Oh, and fuck Fish Slap. Fuck him in the ear.
 

Is the gentleman in the background actually inserting something into Fish Slap? His hand and facial expression seem to indicate that he is.
 

My wife looked at the picture and informed me that the guy in the background is in fact peeing in Fish Slap's butt.
 

Good Christ, that is one ugly mug. The guy is ripped and all, but its disturbingly pathetic that "humans" dress like this clown at clubs.

Does anyone know what Fishslap does for a career? I cant imagine him wearing a suit...Im thinking he is more of a "sandwich artist".
 

I WUODRF> FUCENB BEAT#3 HIM WHJTH A TROUT ADN STEJAL HISL WHOARS!
 

Begin the Bag Wars have.

Fuck Fish Slap
 

@ boatbutter

You said, "No one is more deserving of this dubious honor than Fish Slap!"

What about flyteeth/spec?
 

I used to laugh at some of these Roided up choad-bags with their dark, brooding sneers at the camera, but looking at Fishy, and that shnoz of his, he would probably look hysterical if he showed all ten of his teeth.
 

Well deserved, indeed. Leading the art of douchebaggery requires one to stay at the leading edge of the 'bag curve, which can travel at the speed of light. This monumental 'bag has shown incredible resilience. Three cheers for Fish Slap!
 

Two hot chicks and an angry lesbian.
 

Huzzah! I say. Well deserved, and he do git some hotts don't he.
 

anon 7.57
he's a hairstylist
true story
 

ah fish slap. he's the first douche i saw when i got to this site, and he's still the first douche i show to people who have never seen this site before. he is alpha douche, a douche by which all others are measured. well deserved slap, now go fist yourself.
 

The legend that is FS... I think he should be given an honorary Douchebag of the year award. C'mon, he more than deserves it.
 

Well deserved - Mr. Thallbag would be proud.

"It's already been sung, but it can't be said enough . . "

Fuck Fish Slap.
 

YODA I WIL #S WEAR YOUR FUCEN RIBCAGE SA A HAT!
\
2
TARMAL!
 

Lick my large green penis, Flyspeck.
 

This guy is the Gator's trans Atlantic douchemate.
 

FFS!
 

I can only applaud his acheivement...I by applaud, I mean vomit
 

Geeze, knowing how much douche cred this guy possesses, I can not believe bags all over the west coast aren't wearing beanies with diamond earrings.
I guess there can only be one Fish Slap. And by only one, I mean fuck that guy.
 

First, fuck fish slap and his boob shirts. All of them. Bree looks like the girl who you buy drinks all night and then passes out on your lap as she's going down on you. Her friend looks like she could have some spice to her. I'd take the right over the left any day.

To Medusa and Mr. White on the subject of DBotY thread: I have to agree with Mr. White on this, you my dear transcend tiers. And you almost made me change my vote to droopy but I still hates me some Hooligan. Fret not though, it comes with the territory. I can only say at least it was only a slightly odd guy that is wanking it to your picture. Take comfort in the fact that he didn't outright tell you that he'd be looking at your picture that night in bed. Now THAT, is fucking creepy. Consider it paying tribute to your awesomeness in latex.

BTW: PICS PLS!
 

First and foremost it is customary to begin with Fuck Fish Slap! I love the extra long jesus bling, that is so it wont interfere with any cleavage shots. Fuck fish slap! Fuck fish slap! No other douche/scrotum would be more deserving of this award, I would like to see him win every award hands down, well just start handing out 2nd place winners from now on.
 

I believe I speak for everyone here when I say: FUCEN TARMAL
 

Other than joining the cast of Cats, I think Fish Slap (fuck him) has reached the pinnacle of his career as a prolific tool of epic proportions.

When he dies, I hope he wakes up in Purgatory as Pfah's sole personal hairdresser.

This, of course, would be Pfah's Purgatory as well.
 

FUCEN F15H SLA*P U FAGOATHS'
 

Fish Slap looks like Sandra Bullock in her role as Cartha, the reformed hermaphrodite who had such a botched operation that doctors had to cut slits into his/her armpits so he/she could piss and crap.

{{snif}} {{sniff}} I'm smelling an Ocscar nomination.
 

Ummm . . . is it just me or does the girl on the right look just like that, a teenager of about 15 or so??? How did she get into the club. Her cheeks still have baby fat on them!
 

I second Ashfish's nomination for pics of Medusa's latex awesomeness. I will not masturbate to them, but I will post them on the door to the playpen.
 

The last time I saw something this gay it came out onstage during The Nutcracker pirouetting in a pink tu-tu.
 

I'll go ahead and pinch hit for Mr. White, and say that I'd masturbate to any said photos of Medusa.

Thank you, and have a nice day.
 

And I'll pinch run for Crucial and say I'd masterbate on Medusa.

(Nothing personal Medusa. Or, um, er ... yeah, nevermind.)
 

Ah fish slap. Epitome of douche. You are the stone to which all douche's in the rough will be compared to.

But the end of the douchies are coming up and if Scrote Boy slim doesn't get an award for his diploma displaying douchebaggery, then I'm at a loss.

And if Medusa does show some pics, I'd rather see them before Plinky squeezes a few off on her.
 

We'll give Plinky the laminated copies. And, is it masturbating if you only think about it and not do it? Even if you get off?

Oh, FUCK FISH SLAP. I feel like I'm looking at a pretty girl who turned herself into an ugly douchey man. It confuses me. Confusion makes me angry, kinda like a caveman. Where's my club?
 

On serious note... Fish slap has major legal problems in Illinois. LOL Fuck HIM!
 

@ Ashfish

And can a man give himself blue-balls by thinkining about masterbating and not doing it?

Hmmmm, questions to ponder for the new year.
 

@ Everyone

Gas, grass or ass, No one gawks for free! I'm not Amanda. I have a paypal account and the bidding begins now.

Sorry, Amanda, I kid. I hope all is well in Hawaii, I mean that.

First off, Fuck Fish slap. And fuck Chicago, too. Why? Because Chicago is bending to the will of brow-tweezin', chest-waxin', autofelatiating cum-chokes like Fish Slap. This city is festering with "glamour clubs" that erupted faster than bed sores on Terry Schiavo's ass. Chicago is like Miami, Jr. and it makes me dry heave. After breakfast it will surely be a wet, coffee-soaked heave. But I digress.

Chicago was once known as the City of Big Shoulders. This ws a gritty town, full of gritty people who haunted gritty places. Thick-necked Polish laborers drank Old Style in taverns with burglar bars on the windows. Wax Trax! made its home here and we were the epicenter of Industrial music, home to Al Jourgensen and the rest of that crew, drawing KMFDM and even Skinny Puppy's Nivek Ogre here. Crobar was still a freak show, before Dennis Rodman singlehandedly turned it into sportschoad central, spawing an international chain of Crobars in other mecca cities of douche. Chicago once reeked of rust and soot and whisky, it was a hard-nosed town with hard stories and you'd get a work boot to the incisors if you were caught mincing about with shaved brows and man boobies out. That was never, EVER seen on straight men, and it was rarely seen on gay men, especially outside the boundaries of Belmont, Halsted, Addison and Broadway.

Now? Chicago is soaked in douche. It reeks of poo. The hipsterbag plague that infected Wicker Park has spread like herpes into formerly impenetrable zones of violence like Avondale, bringing with it the reek of patchouli, graven images of Che Guevarra and sniffy pompousness. The South Loop, once an exhilarating gauntlet of moral decay is now home to preening pretty boys and their pink-lit clubs. The air is filled with the bland sound of mind-numbing, unimaginative Euro-trash techno and the stench of Axe.

Fuck you, Fish Slap. You and your kind have made this once-hardcore town into an orange laughing stock. Fuck you, too, Chicago, for letting it happen. You got tired of being The Second City, now you are the First City of Douche, congratulations.


@ everyone again

Thank you for the accolades. I am but your humble servant. I do love to write and have no focus for my literary energies. I am happy to have an audience that enjoys, and I gratefully bow to you in appreciation.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

@Medusa

I have plenty of grass, and ass for that matter, feel free to charge what you like! Does Amanda live here too? Or am I just confused (it happens easily, especially when consuming grass)?

I find it is best to punch, or other wise physically harm, anyone wearing patchouli oil. Yes, you need a shower. No, it does not cover up that fact. I vote we take over a city somewhere and cede from the nation. There will be bans on the importation of fake tanner and axe products. Then we can make anti-douchebaggary laws and publicly punish anyone caught violating them. Preferably while they were in the stockade and we had rotten produce. Gettin medieval on their ass.

FUCK FISH SLAP.
 

@ Ash

Amanda is in LA. Funny, the way Ammada writes, I would have thought she was a midwestern girl, she has that biting wit and ball-busting sensibility one gets from suffering such miserable cold half the year. It really hardens your soul.

And I second the motion! A douche-free town! It'll be like The Village, we'll be out in the woods and our children will never see douche, never smell Axe, never know that men tweeze their brows.

Charge what I like?...Be careful. I hope that the agony of me wearing you like a pair of handcuffs is worth a few photos.





I kid, I never use my whole fist on anyone, especially in a DP situation.
 

need it be said again?

Fuck Fish Slap!

yes, yes it does... & many more times I assure you
 

I feel a little voyeuristic reading the convo between Ash and Medusa here but since we are privy to it I think I speak for everyone here when I say there is litany of ground yet to be covered, filmed and enjoyed many times over.
 

Well played, DB1.

Oh yeah, and fuck Fish Slap.
 

What self respecting male has a nose stud?

You are deserving of every time it is said so here's one more for you, you extraordinary shitbag...

Fuck Fish Slap!
 

Slap Fish Fuck!

I guess I just don't share the same sentiment as the rest of the regs who have chimed in with regards to Medusa. Don't get me wrong Ms. O. if think you're plenty spank worthy, hell any chick in full latex pretty much is in my opinion. Hell pretty much any chick is to be honest. I think BvG once labeled me as a serial masterbater and a truer statement has never been typed on this site. But I digress, Ms. O. I see you less as a possible 2nd wife or future tryst but more like a colorful branch in our twisted douchebag enlightened family tree. No offense meant but I just really want to be friends. Friends who wrap eachother in well oiled saran wrap and jam "muddy" ball gags in to each others orifices. Or maybe the kind of friends who make their friends wear diapers, mount them like great steeds and whip them with riding crops while they sing Mary had a little lamb at the top of their lungs. Maybe.

Oh and can I get a Fuck Fish Slap?
 

@Vin Douchal

I second that motion. And by litany I trust you mean, kiddie pool chocolate jello filled naked she who licks the other one clean first wins a night with yours truly. Yea, that one's goin in the spank bank archives for sure...
 

@jonezy, 7:18 a.m. -

".....while they flaunt the award in Stanley Cup fashion."

So (Fuck) Fish Slap is going to drink from Donkey Douche's cup after being checked into the (head)board?
 

Would he have won if he'd smiled at least once? I'm betting the man has no teeth.
 

Holy crap what in the GD hell is wrong with his CHEST? That ain't right.

Oh, and Slap Fuck Fish
 

Fish Slap Fuck it is.
 

Ash... Your feet look hot as fuck.

If you show your toes in the next picture, I promise I'll be looking at it in bed that night.
 

The award is well deserved. Fuck Fish Slap, and his ability to express the douche in every genre he wears.
 

@Pencil

I require hot -straight- (I am so fucking tired of finding gay man porn) firemen and/or cowboys porn in return for toe pictures. They must have broad shoulders, thick thighs, and be sweaty.
 

after seeing this many Fish Slaps, i will just say this: remember HJBB&D had a MySpace entry that explored the theme of "bad kisser." replace all instances of "kisser" with "smiler" in that entry and you have yourself a devastatingly accurate summation of Fish Slap. for once HJBB&D made himself useful. so has Fish Slap, what with this lifetime achievement award thing. but that goes without saying.
 

*golf claps* excellent, well done. Bravo, lifetime achievment for the ol' Slapmeister.

Of course this award means so much, but it especially means....



he's fixin' to kick it.

--VS
 

fuck fish slap - just had to join in the fun...
 

Plinky @11:26AM...some ancestors of mine once had a tavern called The Blue Ball Tavern, distinct for its large blue ball hanging outside. This was back in the earlier 1800's. So your blue ball comment mad me think of those days of yesteryear and how I missed every one of them.

Not that it hurt me any.
 

Fucking beautiful post, DB1.

And Fuck Fish Slap.
 

@Ashfish, 3:52 p.m. -

"I require hot -straight- (I am so fucking tired of finding gay man porn) firemen....."

HJBB&D feels your pain.....
 

If FishSlap works in the hair salon trade, he is probably suffering the ill effects of too much "product" chemical exposure, hence the strange expression he bears in most of DB1's posted photos.
This particular photo shows not the mark of the 'bag, but a curved sword instead upon his head. It is the scythe of his trade. His nose is permanently enlarged from inflammation by hairspray fumes.
Indeed, he looks "slapped" by toxicity, and not by any fish.
The douchebag appears to be sad, in spite of the hotts and the carefully "groomed" appearance of his chest in the white v-neck and the chosen ear and neck bling.
It might be more worthwhile to "tickle his Elmo" than to fuck fish slap.
 

I didn't hear anyone say "Fuck Fish Slap!"

I guess I will then.

Fuck Fish Slap!
 

Ashfish said...

They must (...) be sweaty.

I guess I'm in luck, then. Now all I have to do is find me a fireman costume.
 

to anon who said the slap was in legal trouble - care to elaborate? i'd hate for this great saga to end in such poor fashion, like a foul called on a last second shot.
 

wait a minute, didn't OJ slash this guy up?
 

I say we all just Fishslap this Fuck and get on with it, makes more sense than fuckin' the damn fish slapper.

His chest is as Botoxed as his salon clients.' That's what the woman says. I'll leave it to her better judgement. I would like to see him LOSE THE EYELINER, for Chrissakes!Are those his fingers and long white nails with a cigarette around the left hott's shoulders?

Jesus H, he makes the Chicago machine seem normal. Oh wait a minute, that IS normal, more than seems, it's B.as U.
 

I made a promise after last year's Douchies that I would end every (as long as I was thinking about it) comment with "FFS" or "Fuck Fish Slap" or some variation thereof until FS won a douchie.

Although I have been absent as of late (anyone watching the legal community knows why), I must now recuse my comment signature and move forward in quiet glory.

Thanks, DB1
 

Fish Slap was over hear quoting Dolly Parton at Moda: "It's costs a lot to look this cheap!'
 

I'd love to fight him. He's a pussssssy.
 

The Slap was what sold me on HCwDB,
been coming back to the sight ever since.