Left bleeth is getting high off of his exhaust fumes. Coincidentally they smell like axe and meatballs.
 

And the "with his best friend 'lips'" photo. Where the hell does one get pants like that? These photos have to be some of the most vomit worthy pixels to grace my computer screen.
 

Joey Porsche is such a small time shit-heel, he should change his name to Joey Trabant.
 

Joey Porsche doesn't roll. Joey Porsche gets rolled.
 

Nickelback should win "Douchiest Band of the Year" by at least a taint.
 

I don't know if you can constitute Brokencyde as a band, but they definitely are up there as far as douchey bands go. Them and avenged sevenfold.
 

I dunno if Joey Porsche is still 'bag enough to take it this year. No Jesus bling, no pose in front of someone's rented exotic car, and semi-hotts in varying stages of consciousness.

He is mellowing with age, like a fine bottle of M/D 20/20. Kiwi-strawberry flavor.
 

Da Porsche.. what

a
goddamn

DOUCHEBAG

! ! ! ! !
 

douchiest band of the year should be Rush...
 

No Jesus bling, but he IS pimpin' the Grey Poupon.

Fuck Fung.
 

WHAT!!! Who said Rush is the douchiest band of the year? Tom Sawyer is the music of the universe!!!!
 

Joey, what would we ever do without you?
 

God bless Joey Porsche for he is the patron saint of douche.
 

Thank God Pfah isn't around, Rush bashing would receive his wrath.

Speaking of missing persons, anyone notice Amanda hasn't been around either? Perhaps she is busy filming a movie or T.V. show.

I never hated ol' J.P. that much. He looks like a little kid to me. And Trick love da kids.
 

Joey is here. We may begin.
 

RUSH?!?!?! WTF???? Respectfully, Anon, you owe the site an apology.
 

@DB1 I guess you already had the one I sent you of him and four friends feeling up the one hott?
 

Joey Porsche is suave douche with svelte hotts.
 

Joey P. depresses the hell out of me.
 

With his reign nearing its end, can we say that JP is in "lame douche" mode? Or has he always been?
 

@bcs

word on the street is that Amanda went that date with the Donkey and is now bleethed beyond all recognition. I think she'll be featured in a Rehab picture before the year is out.
 

Joey Porsche is THE Tool of the Trade.

That is especially apparent in the pic where he holds the Corona by his own corona.

Like the Orthodox waving of the crowns over the bridal couple, Joey has ordained his own douchery in a most appropriate place.

Long may he wave.
 

Oh Joey, I guess in lieu of a penis you need to fistfuck a bottle of the Goose.

He Just "Honks" at the Bitches and Gels.
 

What is the official douche move number for posing in front of expensive cars that aren't yours?

What a bunch of orange, orange motherf*ckers.
 

so, uh, DB1 shouldn't we make that an Orange Jacket? or should we get Mr. White to treat it with his special "dye" for some colour contrast?
 

Does the "Douchebag of the Year" award have term limits?

If not, can the great JP win again?

These are important questions.

Seriously.
 

Oh how I love me some JP. I think I might vote for him again this year. He deserves an award for perfecting the "posing in front of someone else's car" move.
 

Joey Porsche is the best argument for a compulsory year of military service for all our nations useless males, drunk on consumerist MTV horseshit .

Goddamn, this cunt is such a voice of a doucheration .

WHO could possibly outdouche him for the HCWDB of the year?
I cant even begin to think of who could snatch the crown..

Even Fung & Bra! stop to exhale whereas this cyborg douche is offensive 24/7
 

Guidos and Chavs - the new breakfast cereal for 2009.
 

I love this guy. He has provided such an enormous level of entertainment for us all. Thank you God for JP!
 

As nauseating as the montage of pics is, I found the chick in the miniskirt to be well worthy of my DNA.
 

Why, WHY do you feel the need to squat like yer growing a tail when you get a pic of a nice car???????

Oh hey Joey, nice rainbow sampling of STD's with the Notts. Now please feed yourself down the disposal. I'll hit the switch for ya. I'm nice today.
 

Ten J. P. pics in a single post? I think I'm feeling a bit woozy.

He is the king, though. Even when caught in his off-douche hours (the boxers pic), he still radiates toxdouchity, that's how integral it is to his being. It's the very essence of his self.

He also gets an unofficial "most pics posing with unlit smokes" award.
 

I think the biggest mystery here is how a guy with tiny matchstick biceps would land one of those girls, not to mention three. I think his dad must work for CAA or something and can get backstage passes.

@bcs
Amanda is in Hawaii on a shoot.
 

I guess this is proof that there's

Somebody for everybody
 

"Yo big-Mikey, get the roofs... Sister-Sarah, to my left ova-here, don't got her game face on yet"

Joey-P
 

Isn't that the punching bag for the Glasboro State College boxing team?
 

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@hypersexualgirl

And by Amanda is in Hawaii on a shoot you mean she's in plinky's basement bound, gagged, slicked up in baby oil with a carrot stick up her hoo-ha, right?
 

I've seen vaginas tougher looking than Joey Porsche.
 

I dunno, there are plenty of douchebags to challenge Joey Porsche, just not as many well-groomed ones.

Maybe we could give Joey a Good Grooming Award, entitling him to a free tatt of headphones on his torso with a connecting wire disappearing beneath his waistline.

I suspect Joey Porsche has a monster tool that the hotts find irresistible, that and a 'tude that comes with the package.
 

Jockeys pose on top of and in front of other people's expensive racehorses, why not pose with other people's fancy cars?

You make such a big deal outta nothin.'

What interests me is the narrow, marbled floor and mirrored wall garage the car is parked in, in the one photo. Does the card stare at itself in the mirrors?

Now THAT would be douche.
 

Ah, the Joey Porsche. The man who makes my poor pretty girl parts recoil in horror. I have a feeling that if I go to hell, he will be the gatekeeper, welcoming all the lost souls with the warming phrase, "Yo! How you doing? Are you ready to fly with the goose?!". He better have his phallic grey goose bottle with him too, or else I'll feel jilted.

Buffy the Scrotebag Slayer
 

@plinky
Not unless Plinky is directing a feature film for Disney.
 

@ whoop-di

In my humble opinion, posing in front of a hot car (not yours) is one of the ultimate douche-moves: designed to draw attention to one's bag-self much like bling, orangina tans and Rollerball hair. And like those other scrote-indicators, the lack of ownership equals a hollow, soul-less attempt to launch oneself above others. F*ck this toolbox.

"Hey baby, chu wanna ride in my luv mah-cheen?"
 

Shoot, cowboys pose on and in front of their horses in another era. I have an old family photo of a past cousin in another century posing with his mail delivery wagon and horse.It's very snazzy.

I have a friend who drives alone on vacations in his very nice Saab and even takes photos of just the car and the scenery together. I know it is rather oddball, but in the case of Joey Porsche, he is often with other wads when the car-photo sessions are held.

There's something about the American obsession with cars that drives the douche to further obsession. I bet Crucial could explain this even better than I could.

Why else do kids do wheelies on their bikes? In hopes of someday owning, or driving, the real thing. And to celebrate freedom.

Yeah, it's all soooo douchey.
 

@whoop-di

It's not the love of the car that rises to the level of scroteness (I routeinely get a chubby when firing up my chariot in the morning on my way to die a little bit behind my desk) but the use of the image to propel your own.

Your buddy and his Saab is a beautiful relationship; one to be envied. But there's a difference between love of the object versus the USE of that object to make you that which you are not.

If you truly love working out then go for it - Ol' No. 7 I'm looking at you - but if you do it to have something to point at whilest sipping Ciroc and tonic from red plastic cups, you suck.

Christ I gave myself a headache with that one.
 

TEARS are running down my face after a recap of the Joey Porsche experience. The one with him in his boxers (getting ready to eat dinner?!? WTF?!?!) made my sides hurt from laughing. Where, oh, where would we all be without JP?? I really don't want to know...

I have never seen such a complete lack of self-awareness in a douchebag as I see in Joey Porsche. He is a douchebag & lives the douchebag lifestyle with authority and just "Bangs Bitches & Drinks Grey Goose" and doesn't apologize for it. And I thank him for that, I really do. Because I wouldn't laugh nearly as much as I do now without JP in my life.

Also, did anyone notice the pouring spout on JP's Grey Goose bottle? Did he swipe that from the bar? At least he took the cap off this time.

I bet he has a small pee-pee, too.

And Lindsey Lohan Hott on the right looks completely unexcited about the Joey Porsche Experience. Poor Girl. She doesn't know what she's missing.
 

@hypersexualG

I wouldn't necessarily call it "Dinsey," more like Dirty, Crude and Perverted Thirty-somethings Who Have Dark Secrets They Can't Tell Their Wives.


Is that too long a title for a motion picture company?
 

Joey Porsche is like a photogenic person, he is doucheogenic. He may well appear to be even douchier in a picture than he is in real life.

That said, look what happened when we heard Xenu on an audio-feed/video link. We discovered he was GAY, which sort of excuses douche. To a point.

The point being, this site celebrates the visual impact of douche. Posing for photos means visual intent, therefore visual supercedes all else in determining douche.

If Porsche was posing with junky old cars not worth a hoot, would he be douche in doing so? If a car hobbyist poses with his cars, is that douche? Is Jay Leno douche because he has a large car collection and sometimes poses with them? If I went to the Auburn Museum annual car auction in Indiana, and posed with classic cars, would that be douche?

If I posed next to Indy racing cars at their museum, is that douche?

I am thinking it must just be douche to pose with your friends' cars or the ones you work on for someone else. Like posing with a huge swordfish or prize catch at the marina. Or with a 10 point buck's head after the hunt.

Maybe Crucial has something to add to my musings on this point. He's SUCH a car-freak.
 

hahaha Joey returns! there is on huge thing that bugs me about Mr. Porsche...his keen ability to make sure he has something that looks like costs money in every picture...whether it be his goose which is just terrible vodka yet somehow turns you into a "baller" when you buy it or his unnecessarily labeled clothing that the original designers probably hate and wish they'd never designed it..and of course sitting next to the cars which are most likely not his...now if you have money that's great but cmon Joey, taking a picture in a shitty hotel room, with shitty food and shitty champagne? Honestly these people are a dime a dozen and I laugh at them everytime I see them roaming around looking for dumb blondes who "omfg! I love grey goose and Armani Exchange!"

I feel better....
 

At 11:57 a.m., HSG said "Amanda is in Hawaii on a shoot."



OK.....



Amanda.

In Hawai'i.

On a shoot.





(Wheeze sports evil grin)
 

@Whoopi Di & Doucheus:

I think this thread pretty much covered the issue. ‘Bags can project their douchiness onto any type of vehicle. In some cases, the vehicle itself can become a douchebag accessory, which consequently, enhances the overall scrotiness of the choad.

But I’ve been wrong before.
 

@ Douche Tarlick 10:40

Joey Porsche, Patron Saint Of Douche? Agreed, sir.

And posting in front of someone's car? Uberdouche. I almost came to fisitcuffs when walking out of work and found some dude SITTING ON the trunk of my car with his FEET ON THE BUMPER while his friend took a picture. At some point I asked the two halfwits if they even knew what kind of car it was and one of them sputtered, "Uh...a Cadillac?" The only reason I didn't gouge their eyes out was that they were Polish so I figured they were pretty excited to see a big ol' Yank Tank like that. But still. Acting like it's yours and climbing all over it is totally uncalled for. So is squatting in front of it like you're taking a a shit. Gawd, I wish the parking brake had released in that one photo and made JP inro a greasy, orange pancake.
 

Looks like Joey has won the coveted HCwDB of the year award again!

Face it, nobody dooeessss it betterrrrr... makes me feel sad for the douche. Joey Porsche, you walking, talking, little pusswad, you're the best!!

Remind me to pack my Louisville Slugger and Browning Hi Power for my next trip to Jersey.
 

I hope that white Bently ran him over 1 second after the picture was snapped.

Naw, I take that back. I find JP to be entertaining, not offensive like most of the bags here.
 

@ hypersexualgirl & BCS -

"Amanda is in Hawaii on a shoot."

What a coincidence; I was hoping to shoot a Hawaii onto Amanda.








Sorry.
 

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Oh, and Batshit Crazy alert: far right Hott has that "Aw hells naw, he dih'nt just brang them two bitches over to our table..." look in her far-away murderous eyes...
 

it appears as if JP is stroking the Goose bottle. may it erupt in climax as one of the vacuous group lights up, engulfing the entire ghastly quartet in flames!


jus' projecting y'all
 

defcon Orange at booth #7
 

Do chicks really find this guy(?) attractive?
 

Unacceptable, Joey. Take that Melo jersey off before I stomp you.

Go Nuggs!
 

Joey Porsche sure is exceeding expectations. even his hotties are taking up bad tans like him. HA!
 

I have never commented here before, but I just had to say that I now want to gouge my eyes out after viewing this 'bag's portfolio. Yuck.
 

Those Long Island Hotts are just so goddamn many flavors of bad....i'm almost speechless...thats at least $5000 in plastic surgery....


...and the surgeon only charged $40. Each session.
 

I wonder how long his paper route is to afford all that grey goose? He must manage his money well. OR.... He and all his bags save up all week and then pool their money together to buy the infamous bottle in every pic. Yeah... thats it
 

How much can you really front when your only popping for the cheapest bottle of Moet that you brought from home, becuase I don't see any champagne flutes on that room service cart.
 

re: Amanda

I hope she comes back soon. Without her, this is just homogeneous all-out mocking. We need someone to counter the balance with some fawning over abs and drinks invitations to 'bags who write in.
 

Is the non-Joey douche in the "trailer parties" pic actually wearing Skidz?
 

@ Mr. Belvedouche 9:12

He has the same Grey Goose bottle in every photo. He takes it home and washes it out every night and then refills it with Popov. Or water when some of his customers don't pay up on their subscription.
 

look closely at JP's "new Gabanna" in the romancing the Jerz Hotts pic. Just to the left of his "bling" appears to be an image of a scrotum. I'm not talking about JP himself, i mean on the actual item of clothing. this means something.
 

www.myspace.com/joeythedouchebag
 

Chain link fence + plastic lounge chairs = poolside at the Holiday Inn

You can't fool me, JP
 

What can one realy say about Joey Porsche he realy is livin the dream.. Forget about it Joeys the shit..Keep it real and dont forget to use body spray

XO XO Kissy lips
 

Seeing JP next to Bentley makes me think he's like 5'0" tall. In the State of New Jersey, 5' makes you a legal midget.

Does that make Joey Porsche a Porsche 914?

Me thinks so!
 

I sorry for this but JP looks like he does gay porn. On second though I'm not sorry.
 

@Medusa, 4:39 p.m. -

"Or water when some of his customers don't pay up on their subscription."

I don't like to be anal and point out typos (unless it works for a haiku - sorry DB1), but don't you mean "prescription"?
 

Joey is approximately 5'5" and 110 lbs. He loves eating box and getting licks around his sexy brown eye (and i dont mean the eyes on that lip puckering POSER ITALIAN FACE). you are not a ginny get over it.

however, he has a huge dick, ive sucked it