Damn, I think HJBBAD is in line to be Douche of the year with all the categories he's taking.
 

I think he's in line to get a trashcan to the dome. ala steven baldwin in one tough cop.
 

How about "Most Deserving of being sodomized by a pack of male Mountain Gorrillas?"
 

@ Douchelexic

I would prefer more of an Edward-Norton-in-American-History-X-style curbing for this waste of flesh.
 

Make those fone calls, B.
 

Long live the Pharaoh. Read it again. Long live the Pharaoh. Read it again Long live the Pharaoh.
 

And this vacuous little mini-choad further illustrates his delusions of adequacy.
 

Does this mean he's out of the running for Douchebag of the Year? No, no, NO. Wrong. This guy, in addition to not bein white, seems to take his five year plans from Rick Ross songs. He must not be denied.
 

Interesting. Destroy him with the very place he was born and raised. I guess you really can't go home again.
 

* HEAR HEAR!*

I move that this douchie be renamed 'The Darksock' based upon he's prescient posting ealier today.

to wit:

"I'm talking the big heavy galvanized steel trash cans that could stand up to the calloused abuse the NYC Sanitation Department dishes out. Not one of these polite new aluminum cans you'd get in the Wal-Mart garden department but a dirty, heavy old bastard made so that when you swung it by the handle so that the bottom rusted rim catches his orbital socket just right you are rewarded with a wet sick sound, like a Yukon backing over a cat's head."



all in those in favor, break wind!



pppppfffffffrrrrrrrrrrrppppppppttttttt!
 

all the aggression and confidence he is trying to show, is definetly a sign of two things:

1. embarrassingly small penis
2. complete and utter homosexual

There is no other reason
 

ppppppfffffffffffffaaaaaaaaaaahhh...tt..tt

I better go change myself.
 

I wonder if this douche can win the tri-fecta???

*the sound of wind-breaking*
 

He should be raped by darksock
 

Poor BCS missing out on all these douchie votes. And poor me cause it's finals week and I'd rather talk about poop, pfah's boobs and asexual experimentation, and how it isn't gay if you don't cuddle after sex.
 

Im not sure if this bag should be talking about having someone build him a 400k house just quite yet. He has the boy from deliverance on his lap and he is wearing a pleather jacket.
 

I would love to fill the trashcan with lead pellets before putting it to his head. Just for dramatic effect.



I'm calling the shot - he's HOT on his way to the first 3-time winner in Douchebag history.
 

@ Archidoucheis:

I too have finals to study for. But all I can think of is how satisfying it would be to insert a used tampon up this shit-licker's nostril.
 

@Archidoucheis

Is it gay it you slip it in her pooper while spooning after sex?


*/me farts into a vacuum container then freezes it, not to be opened 'till the douchies of 10191*
 

So Amanda disappeared after the infamous photo series...

Your thoughts?
 

Maybe a little analysis of the winner…shall we?
“I wasn't born to work.” No shit. You should thank God every day that two people as stupid as your parents could procreate at all.

“Other people were born to do what I want them to do.” Right, just like De La Hoya’s face was born to beat the crap out of Pacquiao’s fists.

“A single hour of my life is worth more than a whole year of a person's.” A vague acknowledgement that he is not actually human. Ok, I’m with you so far douche.

“I don't breathe what you breathe.” True to a point. You obviously spent the lion’s share of your days in high school breathing the toilet water that the football team had you immersed in. Touche.

“We are not the same.” Again, no shit.

“I'm not going to work a 9 to 5 and then come back home and have bills to pay with tons of debt from a $400k house that will take me 20 years to pay off. I sure as hell ain't living in an apartment either.” Exactly right. You are not going to be doing these things because they require two things you don’t have – the skills to get a job and the money you receive from a job. Thinking you can own or rent property with what you scavenge out of the purses of those underage skanks you are banging is preposterous.
“People WILL build my 20 bedroom, 8 bathroom, 8 garage MANSION, and they WILL love doing it.” This is where his juvenile little rant really jumps the shark. Good luck with that pubestain. I’m not going to hold my breath.

“This way I shall have MY time to do the things that matter as I leverage others' times to do things that I want them to do.” Ok, so you ARE going to find a job…with Amway. Of course since the only thing that seems to matter to you is drinking and getting teenagers knocked up, you can just keep on doing what you are doing and forget the job.

“I'm going to be treated like a PHARAOH and people WILL love slaving themselves to my demands.” You need to work on your English skills. The words you are looking or are “pariah” and “slaying your ass.”

“Activities: Anything I want to do...” …so long as it doesn’t require money, skill or an I.Q. over 70.

“Interests: I'm not here to make friends..” Ahh, something you are good at. Finally.
“I'm here to f@#k bitches and get money.” And that little assclown is why you are a mult-award winning Douchebag. Merry Christmas.
 

on an unrelated note:


who wants an Inappropriate Office Boner?


yeah?

then go here:

http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x144/tasker11photo/2.gif
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

I love the fact that HJBB&D is so awesome, he is able to get a 20 year mortgage...
 

@trey 1:06

No. darksock rapes only octogenarian women in coma clinics.













and marmots.
 

@pfah

thanks. i appreciate that. I've been unmotivated to work all day as it is. Now i am motivated to leave early and go jerk it at home using only my tears for lube.
 

@ pfah 1:21

Please define "inappropriate."
Otherwise, thanks!
 

@pfah, haha for not having to deal with an inappropriate office boner. On another note, holy crap thems got some bounce to them. And that is why real is always better. Adorable set, fucking bitches that can find cute shit in their size.
 

At Desert - NOICE!

An excellent analysis of the young...thing. I for one think all of the mentioned threats of violence are both way too kind and way too quick.
 

This guy is a lyrical genius. That's all he has going for him cause every chic he is with is ugly.
 

More IOB material. Cause I know you guys get lonely at your day jobs.

http://coedmagazine.com/entertainment/45483/
 

@pfah

I would spoon her like a rabid lemur spoons a lactating marmot. Thanks!
 

Does someone have a link to his facebook profile? I think facebook profile is shorthand for loser.
 

Dammit guys, I'm never getting any work done now...I can't seem to come any closer than six feet without bumping into....
 

@ pfah, who is that absolute minx? I would like to know for some AAWM.
 

Hey all. I might be a little late on reporting this...I could have sworn I just saw King Douchuous the IV on a new MTV show. Am I correct or is the barbituate sammich I ate kickin in?
 

Seems to me that King Douchuous the IV and MTV would be a perfect fit, so I wouldn't be surprised if he was on there.
 

Is it him?

http://www.mtv.com/ontv/dyn/a_double_shot_at_love/cast_member/cast_member.jhtml?personalityId=10555#bio
 

douches in the HoS and previous winners should be eliminated from consideration.

much less tow back to back awards in one year.

I'm jus' sayin'
 

There is no doubt that HJBBAD is truely and uniquely deserving of some sort of infliction. I think Plinky said "Most Deserving of being sodomized by a pack of male Mountain Gorrillas". I agree.
I don't know if HCwDB takes nominations, but I strongly believe that an earlier contestant, one "Hate Assberry" should be a contender for the "Most Trashcan to the Head Worthy". And by "Trashcan" I mean "Beltsander". And by "Head" I mean "Adam's Apple"
 

In retrospect, a trashcan to his head seems a tad mild; perhaps a 10 cubic yard dumpster is more appropriate.
 

You know, I think we have a gift in Mr. HJBBAD. I see him as the vaccine sample of the grieco virus. He's not particularly flamboyant like MH, and he flaunts his strategy for the world to see, rather than use it quietly and stealthily.

It's the new world order he represents, where women are not to be revered but used. If they don't provide sexual pleasure they are nothing.

So, fellow bag hunters, understand this is what I mean when I say someone who talks about "sloppy seconds" is of this variety. I've seen far too many innocent, intelligent women fall for guys like this and then wonder why they don't treat them right.

But to think of a woman thinking this way about HJBBAD, well, trash can to the head.

Ergo why I consider him a vaccine. QED.
 

I hope the trash can is filled with quick dry cement...
 

What woman wouldn't swoon at these lovely words of true wisdom.

A woman without a working frontal lobe would....

I hope people do treat him like a pharoah, so that someone who is treated like Moses rains fire and locusts down upon his stupid ass...

Buffy the Scrotebag Slayer
 

I'm not sure if anyone mentioned this but he sort of insinuated that he was not a person in that verse...
 

"Best Mr. Whitefolks/Eminem Inspired, Pseudo-Pimp, Quasi-Down-With-The-Brothers Wannabee," if in fact that was a standalone category, definitely...
 

Only if the trashcan is made of Uranium.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

I just bust out laughing hysterically whenever I see a picture of this dude.

Well deserved awards.
 

"Shall"? What, did he go to Eton? I'd love to hear him drop that in front of his "bitches".
 

Maybe get Acey to warm up his heater on HJJB&D before he uses it on himself?

& Thanks Pfah!
 

wow these Facebook entries are masterpieces. i should probably comment on both of his award threads, but now i'm gonna be busy browsing through all the HJBB&D entries an reading all the comments from the HCwDB regulars regarding this legendary figure. it's one of the rare comical goldmines of 2008 that i'm determined to not miss out on.
 

this kid really does suck. I would gladly play three sets of tennis with his face using my favorite barbed wire racket!
 

Bitches and Drinks is ho hot right now. And by hot, I mean deserving of an ass kicking.
 

Trashcan to the little head, I'd say.
 

Bloody hell, I'll drink to all of the above.

*sips coffee, even at midnight*

Hopefully the trashcan will be full of medical waste, nost notably syringes from the AIDS clinic and some rotting aborted fetuses and slimy proctology gloves.
 

Hopefully the trashcan will be full of Plinky's mom's dicarded pantyhose and bunion pads.
 

Hopefully the trashcan will be full of flaming dog shit.
 

Hopefully the trashcan will be full of all the collective pube shavings of every douche on this site. Oh, and battery acid.
 

"pay with tons of debt from a $400k house that will take me 20 years to pay off"

have fun with your 20k a year. I'm sure ull be liviing in style at the welfare center.

Is it ok to give an award to someone with down syndrome? Don't they have the advantage(handicap) that lets them auto win(lose)?
 

“I'm not going to work a 9 to 5 and then come back home and have bills to pay with tons of debt from a $400k house that will take me 20 years to pay off. I sure as hell ain't living in an apartment either.”

You don't need to if you live in your folk's basement!

All I can think is that this loser has a teeny dick, no testosterone production, and Mommy has always told him, "You can do anything you want because you're special."

Now here comes the short bus.

I do, however, think that a trash can to the head is a bit much. He's just too laughably pathetic. Acey Douchey would be a better recipient.

If you'll excuse me, I must make a bee line for the bathroom... damned jalapenos!
 

The sheer moxy of HJBB&D coupled with his Delusion of Grandeur give Joseph Goebbels "Big Lie" concept a run for its money... Can we change this award to "Most deserving of a repeated trashcan to the head"? I think one blow is insufficient...
 

Wow, I just checked out all the links from this scrote. His "mansion" has broken miniblinds and furniture from Wal-Mart and IKEA.

He looks like one of the newest brand of douche here in Texas, the Persian Spoiled Little Boy. You know the type: Dad busts his ass building up a convenience store into a decent-sized real estate venture, renting condos to the Chinese moving to Houston. Mom stays home and pampers her little boys until they grow up into BMW driving, over-cologned wiggers who sell cocaine and cheese to white upper class high school kids.

THIS is HJBB&D. His name is probably Puya or Mahmoud. Odds are good he'll be dead before he's 25 because either his best friend Ali will move in on his business, or he'll get knifed at Harris County Jail after being pulled over for Driving Like A Douche in a 55 zone.

Trash can? Naaah. Shovel to the head.
 

I love this guy.
 

Does anyone get the feeling that he is a small time coke dealer or something trying to live out some fucked up suburban gangster dream?
 

Nobody embodies douche as fully as this guy does.

As an actor, I wish I had his capacity to commit and make risky choices.

Although I don't think HJBB&D is acting. I think he might actually be serious.

Which means he might just win another douchie.

Us 'bag hunters can only hope.
 

Oh my...
While reading the words of wisdom, I was laughing because I thought they were exaggerated statements that DB1 used to ridicule him.
I couldn't seriously believe a human being would write this.

Well...
A human being who hasn't just finished a marathon of 8-balls, standing breathless in the blood mist of a screaming prostitute that's bleeding from the knife wound to her vagina that was given to her while he repeatedly said "no...no...NOOOO, MOMMY!!!"

When he says things like this, you have to wonder if he acknowledges that tiny part of him that's laughing hysterically at such blatant horseshit.
 

If he has "cracked the code to getting cash," then why is every picture he's in at some preteen dive den of liquor and shame?\

I dismiss you, HJBB&D.

I dismiss you....
 

Maybe one day, he'll realize that living a life of money pursuit is more vapid and robotic than living the pedestrian "9 to 5" lives that he, ironically, has such disdain for.
 

the HJBB&D mansion plan:

Step 1: Steal Underpants
Step 2: ?????
Step 3: Mansion
 

This is what happens when you don't beat your kids.
 

This guy is a serious lightweight compared to some of the whoppers I've witnessed in the past 15 minutes.
 

Maybe a good heartfelt six-pack-to-the-face, ala Mickey Rourke in "Spun". "hey senor el fuckin camino"