Monday, December 15, 2008
The Yellowtail: Master Blaster

In honor of 2006's legendary doucherstar Oldbag, Yellowtail, we hereby name the 2008 Douchie for Oldbag "The Yellowtail."
This year it goes to a pic I originally simply titled "The Oldbag," but who deserves a far more unique name. So we will go with 'bag lanta's name in the comments threads, "Master Blaster."
The Blaster originally ran in July and his creepy-ass mugging of a much younger Cocktail Waitress Awkward Cutie deserves recognition.
And so we award the 2008 Yellowtail Douchie to Master Blaster. For he is creepy. And old. And with Jesus Bling and Paula Abdul's 1989 "Forever Your Girl" hat.
Comments:
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this master is blasturbating all over my monitor.
where are they? a train station?
well, congrats, master blaster, you have been wasting oxygen longer than most, and now you have a '08 douchie to show for it.
fish fuckslap.
where are they? a train station?
well, congrats, master blaster, you have been wasting oxygen longer than most, and now you have a '08 douchie to show for it.
fish fuckslap.
if Verne Troyer, Run DMC, and Mickey Rourke had a child together, it would be Master Blaster.
congrats you creepy turd.
congrats you creepy turd.
Ahhhh!!! Creepy old man bag! The worst kind. Creepy old men are bad, but add douchebag to the equation and you're gonna get groped for sure.
It's like going to a Harley event and having no hot guys there, only leering skeezes that try and look down your shirt as you sell them beer. And take pictures from behind of you...Only to actually capture people looking down your shirt...Yeah, never been in that situation before. I suppose that's what one should expect when the manager of the sister store looks like a Filipino version of Ron Jeremy.
These bags are even more rage inducing because they're old enough to know better but just don't care. Get over your midlife crisis, put the 20 year old down, and walk away slowly.
It's like going to a Harley event and having no hot guys there, only leering skeezes that try and look down your shirt as you sell them beer. And take pictures from behind of you...Only to actually capture people looking down your shirt...Yeah, never been in that situation before. I suppose that's what one should expect when the manager of the sister store looks like a Filipino version of Ron Jeremy.
These bags are even more rage inducing because they're old enough to know better but just don't care. Get over your midlife crisis, put the 20 year old down, and walk away slowly.
that reminds me, the K-street restaurants of Washington D.C. are supposedly another great source for HCwDB fodder, especially in terms of old-bags. don't ask me how i know this. i regret finding out about this in the first place.
the rourke.that works too. gary cherone-bag is hideous and deserves the charges that will no doubt be brought up against him soon.
I just picture Ben Stiller's voice coming out of his mouth saying
"Do it. Do it. No no no no seriously...Do it."
"Do it. Do it. No no no no seriously...Do it."
What's creepiest? Oldbag and hottie cocktail waitress have the same nose, lips, and browline.
In other words, they're closely related somehow.
I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
In other words, they're closely related somehow.
I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
@creature
Shit, its a good thing I didn't go to lunch yet. Fucking hell, that's bad. Poster children for why you should always use sunscreen. Holy fuck.
Shit, its a good thing I didn't go to lunch yet. Fucking hell, that's bad. Poster children for why you should always use sunscreen. Holy fuck.
but this is the old bag I aspire to be
http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB3131-787583.jpg
that is assuming I ever out grow underoos!
http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB3131-787583.jpg
that is assuming I ever out grow underoos!
I don't know, I aspire to be a dirty old man, too. I'd like to think one day I can rock a woman's hat and Aqua Velva vibe half as well as Master Blaster here.
...psh...I prefer M.C. SnackDaddy (because of the Background snack machines helllloooo) but he still makes me chuckle, and the next time I'm taking the bus across the nation I'll get his autograph and post it on here. And maybe, just maybe if his daughter is there we can share some Ho-Hos and fall in love inside a stall in the ladies lavatory.
This old man is a creepster. Maybe she is a relative posing with him in what appears to be a train depot. That would explain the need to pose. Personally, I'd feel the need to run and hide in the ladies' room. Winter-time should give us some respite from these sorts of folk who wear wife-beaters in public places, instead of at home while flogging the wife, and usually the kids, too. Ecept this older gent may just be the kind who smokes and drinks and tells hot jokes while staying cool in such a shirt.
That's just not right, making fun of this guy, who is obviously a horribly disfigured burn patient.
The clinic should at least fit him with some prosthetic eyebrows.
The clinic should at least fit him with some prosthetic eyebrows.
I think he is a midget
dwarf
I believe they prefer little person
normal fingers, not the...short...sausage...fingers
errr.....
dwarf
I believe they prefer little person
normal fingers, not the...short...sausage...fingers
errr.....
another douchey oldbag for consideration
http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB1002-721152.JPG
http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB1002-721152.JPG
He kind of looks like an old, droopy, tan version of that AH FUCKAGUY dude: Chuggo. Or at least that's the vibe I'm getting off him.
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