And he's just about to hand over his shriveled gray sack, so she can add it to her collection.
 

Is that a roach?

Briana's my kind of girl. I bet her skills include, but are not limited to, turning ice cubes into bong water. Yes sir, we'd get along just fine.

AV
 

So is the ATM where she's extracting his dough, or the genre of this nozzle's solo home movies?
 

You like a me? I like a sexy american bitches. now play a with a my pepperoni nipples! Gratzi!
 

She reminds me of sunsets in Texas... the kind that remind you that you're lucky to just be alive, and by alive, I mean have a penis.

The Max Headrom Scrote is nimble and quick, but no match for the sexy tigress.

I would buy her a coke and stutter while she let's me spread marmalade on her supple neck and recite Faulkner with and accent.
 

Slater looks young in this pic
 

"Remember that nerd-sexy girl from Senior Year who always seemed to be slightly "above" the wanks who hovered awkwardly arounds her at lunch? Slightly removed. Detached from the white-noise of college sexual tension."

You know, I dated that girl. Biggest mistake I ever made.
 

When I read "Brianna's ATM," money ain't what comes to mind.

Nome sane?
 

Zang! She is delish! Great smile, great dress, silky skin, perfect cheek bones, brunette. Smoooothy hottness.

Dangit, I want to mock this guy. I do. But if I had those glasses, I'd wear them. And by those glasses, I mean her, as my hat.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

This is the kind of girl whose anus wrinkles are all perfectly proportional & equal in length.

Each wrinkle holding a sweet dew drop of sweat. From her morning jog, of course.
 

He's copying my avatar.

And she does look like my wife...

DB1, how did you get a picture of us, er, this fine couple? I demand that the mocking stop this instant.

Notadouche!! Dammit.
 

He looks like an agent for Jai Alai players and a pimp of amputee hookers.
 

I just can't believe that Ralph Macchio STILL looks 20.
 

Toby's new glasses allowed him to superimpose penises onto hot chicks.
 

kanye worst?
 

And for one of the few times on this site, the quality of the hott balances out the quality of the douche. It's zero sum. And therefore I win.
 

He's partying like it's 1985...

****************

That dude from Spandau Ballet looks great for 53.
 

Ohhhh, Pietro, come va? Perché lei indossa quei vestiti ed i spettacoli brutti? Fa imbarazzare tutti uomini italiani. Togliere quei vestiti ora! Poi lei porterà la doccia e farò un'ispezione. Devo assicurare lei è libero dal 'virus di Grieco' così lei non infetterà gli altri!
 

Please point to the person who deserves a tire iron to the noggin.

Thank you Brianna - much appreciated.
 

Toby's new glasses had a unique feature which fed him lines to say to his date. There was a snafu one time, however, when he took his date to the movies and asked, "Do you want a hot dog {pause} up your ass?"
 

@ Medusa O -


Thank you. I just came.
 

@ Plinky

Grazie mille, signore. Sono felice per aiutarla.

Pieto has apologized and says he will not escpae from the holding tank again. The virus has been contained and he is being sprayed and deloused in the quarrantine room by Laundry Gimp, who enjoys giving out a good waterboarding just as much as I do.
 

She's doing the Peaches Point!

It must be viral. Somebody call the CDC, stat!
 

Thinking about your mom again Plinka?

gross
 

@Medusa

Er...was that Portuguese?
 

Pietro may have a prescription for that substance he's smoking, since he's clearly suffering from an anxiety disorder: check out his gnawed-to-the-bloody-quick fingernails, and the shiny-smooth chest that looks like he plucked it clean one hair at a time. I call trichotillomania.
 

@ Anon 11:52

No, your sister:

http://ac4.yt-thm-a01.yimg.com/image/4dd899752ddf9ad6
 

All I can say is this dude, while douchey, is hot. That hair of his, I'd like to rumple my fingers right through it. Wowee.

Make her leave so can have at it.
 

@ Vader

Who cares what it was?! Picture Medusa in her skin-tight leather outfit popping your bare ass with a riding crop and speaking whatever into your ear.
 

Lord Vader

ehehehe no era l'italiano!!

But they are actually pretty close, if you don't understand one, it is easy to mistake the other. Portugese is a bit more 'twangy', though, for lack of a better word.
 

i thought keanu reeves was taller. and i would definitely prompt her to hold her tongue on my forehead for a couple of hours while i finger paint baby blue hearts on my dining room table.
 

@Plinky

Sorry, but I have a particular thing for Portuguese. Two of my last three girlfriends are Brazilian. I stayed in that first relationship about 9 months too long because every time we'd fight (which was all the time, Brazilian girls are spicy little hotheads), she'd curse at me in Portuguese, which would then turn me on, which would then result in angry sex. Not the healthiest of relationships, but worth it at the time.

@Medusa
Whew! Good. The current Brazilian, while cute and sweet, only mumbles Portuguese incoherently while having an orgasm. Which is good...but lacks the visceral satisfaction of the yelling (she always ended her rants with "Idiota!", which I miss dearly).

If, however, I knew of a woman who would curse at me in Portuguese WHILE flogging me, well...
 

@ Vader

Uh-hum, picutures of said Brazilian chicas?

And skip the ones with you in 'em. No offense hombre.
 

@Plinky

Sorry, married man. No pics for you.

And besides, as a douchebag, I am obviously in ALL the pictures. Duh.

P.S. You wouldn't BELIEVE The Mark of the Bag you get when wearing a shiny metal helmet.
 

@ Vader

You tease.


Fine if you don't want to share with me then do it for all the other men - and some women - who frequent this site.
You OWE it to them/us.
 

Those Venetian blind glasses, or whatever you kids call them, would seem to have the unique distinction of being both dorky looking and impractical.
 

Wearing slotted sunglasses indoors is simply more efficient and less tiring than screeching "I AM A FUCKING DOUCHEBAG" endlessly into a bullhorn.
 

@plinky 11:29

I'm gonna have to respectfully disagree. Living in basque country a while, I can tell you that jai alai agents look a little more like this:

Gora Euskadi (viva país vasco!)
 

Am I mistaken, or is Brianna the one and only "Blowtorch Hot?" Blowtorch hot seems to possess greater mam bags than Brianna, but then again, Brianna is hiding those perky pups behind the fore-arm that she's using to deflect the ATM's scrote-rays. I could be wrong but I feel that this is a matter worth looking into, or at least, deserves to be looked at. Boobies.
 

Am I mistaken, or is Brianna the one and only "Blowtorch Hot?" Blowtorch hot seems to possess greater mam bags than Brianna, but then again, Brianna is hiding those perky pups behind the fore-arm that she's using to deflect the ATM's scrote-rays. I could be wrong but I feel that this is a matter worth looking into, or at least, deserves to be looked at. Boobies.
 

Fuck me they're all bilingual.
 

@Scrotius -

I say "no." Brianna's eyebrows look natural, whereas Blowtorch's hott had to draw hers back on.
 

Brianna is not the Blowtorch's Hott. She is hotter than a blowtorch, who had to singe her own eyebrows off and repaint them back on. DUMB. What kind of silly woman does that? Brianna is not silly. She is au naturel ooh-la-la.

She's schemy and smoldering and in need of some OSSIP eyewear, if you say so.

Eskimo scrotum, DB1? Please don't go there. What are you smoking these long winter nights in La-La Land?
 

DB1, you have got Brianna pegged, but as for Pietro: clearly, based on the shades, he's from Venice.

--VS
 

Those "shades" piss me off ...
 

Chacci dons the red retard glasses so Joanie wont see him with Eliot Spitzer's ex...uh, special events coordinator
 

the only Brianna i know was back in high school. and she was about 3x hotter than this Brianna.

but then i wouldn't be surprised if my high school Brianna hooked up with an even douchier ATM. yep yep. ATM. what a fitting function for douchebags.
 

@plinky 11:37

Your glasses that superimpose penises line cracked me the hell up.
 

Hee hee!
 

Dig the X-ray scrote bling specs!!!
 

@ Kenny

Awesome.


@ Mr. White.

Gracias.
 

Vegas bag. Nothing worse than a Vegas bag.
 

bwaaahhaahahhaahhahahahahahahaha

Best Tag Ever.

lol

-Wop
 

Pietro thinks, "I loaave theesa Dave e Bauusters! I loaave Ameriga! I loaave theesa Eltona Jonn sonnglasses!"
 

I think Brianna is trying to point out how much of a douche he is, because he lit BOTH ends of his cigarette.

And I would like to gently massage the inside of Brianna's thighs while she eats her morning corn flakes wearing nothing but my flannel shirt and a pleasured smile.