WTF? Perhaps this douchebag is passed out? I see the telltale bottle of goose -- did he fight the goose...and the goose won?

But, where are the hotts?
 

this picture needs to be taken down.
 

2 girls 1 cup?
 

AAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some things you just can't un-see!
 

Worst picture ever posted DB1. Ever.
 

Caption:
Jane and Becky's attempt to take Chad's temperature was thwarted by his abundant crack hair.
 

is this site now officially Hot Chicks Doing Prostate Exams?
 

Is this guy pretending to have bottle service at his house? wtf?

-Wop
 

Fixed it for those with weak stomachs-

- management
 

Blonde: I wish my baby's daddy was as talented as this here feller when it comes to shootin' quarters ... and I wish he done did have himself a real purty ass like this too!
 

Much better...
 

Jesus Chrsit DB1 I'd rather look at the guy's ass ... it's not as ugly.
 

If this picture would've been taken 5 seconds later we'd all have been blinded by this guy's alien workshop.

-Wop
 

This gives new meaning to the term 'crack whore'.
 

the pic still isn't fixed. still can't see any hotts.....
 

Dude's got the look of smoking a bong filled with dingleberries and paprika.
 

Do we have any more pictures of my Jan. 8th fantasy girl, Beautiful Armpit Triangle?

You can tell we're in love by the way she's looking at me.

-Wop in love
 

What the hell's going on with the blonde's armpit/boobie?

fuck fish slap
fuck fung
plinky sucks
and thank Zenu for the Hall of Hott!
 

man i'm glad i got here late...

i'm going back to veronica's myspace...
 

@ 'bag lanta

Amen brother.

All I see is Alex Rodriguez hiding behing a bucket, a guy who just got paroled and is so f'ing happy he's not going to get butt-fucked anymore, and 3 Denny's waitresses who are about to engage in group sex for the third time that day.
 

black dress hott looks like someone let the air out of her head and she is slowly collapsing to the floor.

and the douchecrack. well, you ruined my breakfast. and my eyes.
 

@ Anon 7:25

What the hell's going on with the blonde's armpit/boobie?

Is that your best effort?!?
Seriously, are you fucking retarded? Because if you are then I'd actually feel bad for making fun of you all the time.

What's your next joke, What's the deal with pants??
da-dum-bump {{cymbal}}
 

Ok, let's play a game with this pic...it's called "Guess who's been in the clink before."

HINT! It is the same person that will be going back into the warden's custody within 30 days.

-Wop
 

Re:Douchecrack

A village of cannibals in Papau New Guinea could eat for a week off his ham hocks.
 

@Anon 7:25

Squished up top boobie is every bit as delectable as wardrobe malfunction side boobie.




Or are you gay?
 

To all those who fail to see the hotness: look, I feel your pain. I've been scouring the archives too, looking for candidates to the Hall o' Hott as well. But you can't let that cloud your judgment. You know as well as I do that if either of the girls sandwiching crackbag came up and started talking, you wouldn't walk away. Right? Right. And frankly, I am now having fantasies of blondie asking me to help her fix that dress ("I can't figure out why it is squishing my boob like this. Is there anything you can do?" Damn right there is.)
 

IDK maybe it's just me, I have a thing for Polly Pocket blondes. But Beautiful Armpit Tringle is all the hott I'll ever need. Today.

-Wop
 

I like the toad that peeping over the rim of the Goose Bucket™. these guys look like low rent douches and the "hott chicks" look like truck stop lot lizards.

Quite the classy affair.

- Douchey Smurf
 

Wrong. All wrong. New horizons in wrong. I can see the guy's duck butter and I don't want to.
 

The Olsen twins have sure gotten fugly these days.
 

Where is this "club" anyway? Someone's kitchen? I didn't know that some douchebag's kitchen had bottle service!

What a lame-assed poser shot.

You know what gets me? These losers couldn't tell the difference between Grey Goose and the discount swill you buy from the local liquor chain. I love that these losers buy a "brand" and help keep our economy going. If they had half a brain they'd buy Tito's Handmade.

Maybe blondie should take that nice, chilled bottle of unopened Grey Goose from the bucket and insert it into Douchecrack's anus with a counterclockwise twisting motion. That would at least open the cap...
 

As to the 'fixed pic' Sam is overheard:

"Wanna see a magic trick? I'm going to make this giant cup disappear."
 

@ plinky 7:35

Anon is a regular Jerry Seinfeld.

"What's the deal with Ovaltene?"
 

I'm just waiting for Amanda to chime in..."he may be a douche, but he kinda has a nice ass, I would give it a lick"
 

The can is round; the cup is round. It should be called roundtine.
 

Crikey.

I've heard of crack whores but this is ridiculous.

AV
 

Hell's yea, I'm installing a VIP section in my kitchen right now...

...fill it with some filthy streetwalker ginches from Penn Station, a mentally challenged gang-banger, plinky's mom, and an escaped con, and we got ourselves a party yo!!!!
 

WTF?!?

Now we get his ugly side, too?
 

Thank you for taking that off the front page, DB1. I would have seriously questioned you if you didn't.
 

Where's King D. when you need him?
 

Crack Douche needs to take a dip in Bear Cats' 12" Chipper with the unique cantilever rotor that allows for a 14" x 20" feed opening on a 46" disc. Tough and nimble are two characteristics of Bear Cat's 12" chipper.
-along with his "Kilbag was here" buddy....sweet eyes scroat!
 

Crack Douche needs to take a dip in Bear Cats' 12" Chipper with the unique cantilever rotor that allows for a 14" x 20" feed opening on a 46" disc. Tough and nimble are two characteristics of Bear Cat's 12" chipper.
-along with his "Kilbag was here" buddy....sweet eyes scroat!
 

How did this pic come to be?

"hey girls - i wanna get a shot of you just about to lick my hairy pimply ass"

???

Maybe he doesn't understand blowjobs. You're supposed to lie the OTHER way, assfuck.
 

oh sweet jesus. so much crack. plumber bob should really get a plumber belt.'

Although sweet svetlana and her friend tatiana could plumb my depths.
 

@ BillDouchiest the Wild Swine:

I concur! My guess was they're at Waffle House -- no club is that well lit.

Fuck Fung.
 

Yeah. I just woke up after a ferocious bender, and I travel to my favorite website hoping for some light mocking to make myself feel something. This is what I get? Honestly DB. You make me stare at man-ass when I'm all hungover? Damn it.
 

Brahahahahahahahaha!
That's the funniest photo I've ever seen on this websits, DB1! Then you kowtowed to the masses and removed it?
Males sure do love to check out female asses, but when confronted weith fenmales checking out male asses, it's a double-standard.

And he's got a cute ass, too!!!
And no, I'm NOT GAY!!!Just laughing my ass off, that's what!!!!!
But then, I've drawn lots of ass, male and female, in nude modeling studio. It's all old hat to me.
 

@ whoop 9:02

More like "old asshat" to me.

Couldn't resist.

Fuck Fung.
 

Aw man... first thing in the morning too...
 

The location has stymied me. Too well lit for a bar; no one puts their coat on the back of chair like that at a house. It's like an after hours Friendly's Ice Cream Parlor. Partying in style, kids.

Douchecrack looks like your typical stunted Sean Astin 'bag. His underdeveloped furry derriere is about to be kissed by Karen Carpenter's bleach blonde niece. At least we can be sure she vomits after she blows him.

What is the name of that space surrounded by her arm, the tendon to her pec, and the squished boob? It appears you have to be able to dislocate your shoulder to create it.

Thanks for switching out the picks, DB1. I can explain why daddy is looking at boobs and ass pears, but not douchecrack. Were I an artist, maybe I would have an excuse.
 

A couple of skanks and a giant, flabby, pasty white ass.

This pix is no different from the first one.
 

Santa Maria Purisima! Cabron DB1! That damn picture took years off my life.
 

The mystery location:

They're wearing dresses that nobody wears to someone's trailer... I mean house.

Well lit, cheesy painting on the wall, bottle service...

How about a Vegas buffet joint? Something like the 24 hour buffet in the back of the Venetian?
 

I see no douche here, just human tragedy. Jenny and Justin (2nd blond, middle guy) are clearly a high functioning mentally handicapped couple, living independently and earning their own way as a sweep-up girl at the local nail salon and stock boy at the feed-n-seed, respectively. Here they're being treated to a night out by their sympathetic neighbors down the hall. The ones who find it difficult to keep walking by when Justin fumbles his keys and starts crying outside the door to the efficiency.

Unfortunately, you can lead a 'tard to culture, but you can't make him keep his dick in his pants. Justin found out early that acting out generates attention, and soon became that guy on the playground that would eat anything on a dare. Likewise, Jenny learned early that there's no such thing as a "bad touch" when you have that mongoloid small mammal response to interpersonal validation. And so they were destined to meet.

Justin was engaged in trying to gain the approval of his peers by licking a snot balloon dangling from his nostrils, while Jenny was getting felt up by the entire JV squad behind the same set of bleachers. Their eyes met. The reaction was like a crazed budgie seeing itself in a mirror. Two attention starved short bussers with zero inhibitions and working genitals.

Fast forward two years, and you have this picture. Jenny's mom had her sterilized (ACLU litigation still pending) to prevent the inevitable bottomless production of tardlets, and public outings eventually devolve into Justin exposing himself and Jenny randomly groping her seat mates, ultimately resulting in Jenny shoving her tongue up Justin's crapper at the dinner table.

The biggest losers are the neighbors, who keep doing it.
 

The "deal" with Blondie's boob and armpit is an oversized implant. Much too big for her frame, it is straining against the pectoral muscle, which runs diagonally from the shoulder towards the sternum. What results in a gap near the armpit where the implant sits directly beneath the skin. When pressure is applied against the chest, the implant moves into the area where it is unconstrained by the muscle and creates that very scary-looking, artificial bulge.

That being said, this indicates she has not (yet) developed the scarring known as capsullary contraction, common with implants. Which means the implants are still fairly soft and mobile. Which means one righteous titty fuck.

Either way, I have the urge to see a puppet show. Perhaps it is the way this douche is offering his back hole, awaiting someone's arm to get in there up to the elbow. I hope you get your wish, Timmy.
 

Awesome Cap'n, but can you explain why A-Rod is there?
 

Aw Fuck change it back DB1! This pictures even worse.
 

@ Vin

A-rod is there with his soon to be step daughter Lourdes. She's in the black dress getting felt up by Paris Hilton's stunt double from House of Wax.
 

OH GAWWWDDDD! I saw the original picture and threw up in my mouth and then I went blind. Now I have to type by braille and I shall never be able to savor the luscious hott boobie suckle thigh images posted herein. Oh woe is me!
 

Agreed, Archidoucheis, DB1 ought to change it back.

It was, as FLYTEETH would say, "Fucen Tarmal!"

Quite simply, hilarious, as are the responses to it.

Look, if you want to be really grossed out, why not go to the www.indystar.com and check out the Wessels. We could all use a gross-out stimulus form time to time.
 

Is that Lenny Dykstra?
 

Awwwwww man!! I never got the chance to see the original photo. How can I aptly judge the horrible stench of poo if I can't see what everyone else has?

Or...........perhaps I should be thanking my lucky stars that I haven't seen the monstrosity.
 

omg.

I revise my statement about ghoulbag. This guy is an instant winner. YUCK!!
 

What an asshole.

I mean that as a compliment; that's some asshole he's got there.
 

@Vin Douchal

A-Rod is the poor low paid schmuck hired by Social Services to act as 'Tard Wrangler on a monthly basis. He has to endure the drooling advances of Jenny and Justin's wet farts on pleather so he can write a report justifying why these two knick knack chewers should be allowed to roam unsupervised rather than live properly chained in their parent's basements.

And he fucking hates his job. That's why he's cowering behind the bucket.
 

Whos drinkin the ass beer
 

Thank you for increasing my will to die...

Pictures like this make me hope those Mayans were right about 2012, I'm getting pretty fucking sick of this 'human race' thing...
 

Buffy, just click on the Douchecrack in red next to the current photo, and you'll see what you've been missing.
 

Hey, it's Dom from Entourage!!!!
 

friends don't let friends douche and crack.

i have no idea what that means.
 

fucking eww
 

djsfan iwoiew ksa sncluaocas sxjbciuwh scncal ajcnue asxb akjsc.

Translation: I'm trying to write a witty remark but my retinas voluntarily detached themselves after seeing that picture.
 

Fucking vile.

I can't even attempt a joke. This fat fucktard needs to get leveled by reality.

The sheer fucking injustice of that situation ever having existed infuriates and demoralizes me.
 

Jenny's father once instilled some wisdom in her: you have to lick a coupla asses in your life, child. She took him quite literally.

Since Jenny and Curly Sue are on the wagon, Justin decided to spurt out some chocolate shake with corn kernels for them.

It's a private bodypaint party and Jenny's face is about to be sprayed shit-brown, which Curly Sue finds hilarious.
 

It's the mutant bastard love child of Brian Bosworth and Brock Lesnar...