first
 

who is the breathtaking blond?
 

Wheatstalks' sister. Notice the similarly receding hairlines. Apparently they both draw their eyebrows on, too.
 

Is the 'Stalks jockeying for a position in the Hall?

He's got the portfolio.
 

move over donkey douche. wheatstalks is stealing your thunder.
 

The Campbell's Soup baby is all growed up and tricked out like a gay off-the-Vegas-strip ventriloquist.
 

Looking at a nearly Barenaked Lady made me wonder if this pudding-chinned abomonation next to her isn't also a Barenaked Lady.
 

Wheatstalks age 60
 

I'm not the outdoorsy type, but I have a sudden urge to go skiing.

Or take a ride in a motorboat.
 

Chubs "Chubby" "Stubby" Moon: hairstylist to all the Floridian hotdog vendor models.
 

While Wheatstalks was receiving his daily swirly he caught a glimpse of his reflection and he thought "upside down hair...that's what my look shall be!"

Douchey Lewis and the News
 

Are you fuckin serious? That dude's coiffe is a clear indication that he has too much time on his hands. Not as much as this guy, but close. Not even nearly as entertaining. (there's a double surprise at the end)

@plinky: dude, that TOTALLY looks like the Campbell's soup kid. Like, if someone scared the living shit out of him.
 

@ Adof Scorater Von Baggenstein:

I'm telling Mrs. Baggenstein. I don't care if you ARE on vacation, it's no excuse.
 

Wheatstalks Mart. Scroll down for the awesome Wheatstalks Mug.
 

is it just me or is she kinda gross?
 

Gary and Jake Busey banged and magically conceived a child. They call him "Fat Toad" Busey.
He's a disgrace to the Busey name.
 

Bronzilla
 

her belly button looks like Goatse


share the link bcs
 

her belly looks molten.
 

"That's $10 up front, and if you touch my tit my boyfriend will feed your scrotum to his dogs. Okay, smile!"
 

Todd got hip to the fact that if you gave yourself a hair-tsunami
people would no longer notice your hippopatums physique.
 

It is by the juice of the Snowblow Queen that thoughts acquire porn, porn acquires stains, the stains become hair gel.
 

Wheat.....dude.....come on man, hit Target or Wal-Mart and get a new t-shirt. Buy a pack of 4 pocket t-shirts from Fruit of the Loom or something - they're cheap enough!
 

Guy Fieri meets Sandra Lee's hotter sister.

Center of the Doucheniverse.
 

Wheatstalks, Wheatstalks, Wheatstalks.. tsk, tsk, tsk. Boy... you need to switch over to the diet sodas and stop eating after 6. That noggin' of yours is getting out of control boy. It looks like a flesh colored watermelon is plummeting to Earth.

- Douchey Smurf
 

Snow capped mountain regretted the day she entered Fresno's most famous discount plastic surgeon and ended up with a redi-whip top as a boob.
 

Pointy tit is pointy.
 

She looks like Fishslap in the face.
 

Her belly button is seriously freaking me out. Is it infected or something? Plastic surgery seems to have done more harm than good here.

Wheatstalks needs to die a fiery death while sitting atop his throne of poo in the Hall of Scrote. Why hasn't this douche been inaugurated yet
 

She looks like Fishslap in the face.
 

She looks like Fishslap in the face.
 

@ vin douchal 1:14

very nice
 

Her belly button looks like she used to have bellybutton jewellry, and then went water skiing and it got hooked on the handle and got ripped out and now she has this pooey looking wreck of a belly button or she had abdominal surgery and they went in through her belly button but DAMN if she had any sense she'd put a shirt on but she's a bleethy bint who's hanging with Wheatstalks so what do you expect?
 

Wheat Stalks is now ubber douche
 

In between photographs he sits back down in his booth near the end of the stage, and waits for this one girl (who we never see in these photos) to finish the fourth and final song of her set. She knows her job and she dutifully sits next to him, letting him massage his sweaty palms into her thigh. She suppresses the shudder and orders another watered down juice. He'll leave once his pockets are empty. She thanks god this isn't a payday week so she can avoid the table dances. With his hair constantly in her nose or touching her breasts and his smelly buddha t-shirt and the profusive perspiration, it's all she can do to muster the strength to come to work. She takes some comfort in knowing that his money is paying for her baby's orthopedic surgery, but when she makes eye contact with him, she suppresses the tears that he mistakes for requited feelings. She thinks of quitting, but she can't. She contemplates killing him; just waiting outside for him to leave, following him, and bludgeoning him to death with an empty bottle of that Godiva liqueur that he always orders for himself, crushing his ludicrous hair into his skull, caving it in, blood and bone and brain mixing in the straw. He mistakes her smile for affection. She stops smiling and turns away as he squeezes her leg, his chubby pinky poking around just a little too high. She excuses herself to go to the restroom. As she passes the bar, Mike, the bartender, says to her, "Hey, I got that bottle you wanted. Your boyfriend just killed it." She tells him to hang onto it, she'll pick it up after her shift is over. Her smile returns when she steps into the changing room. "What are you all happy about?" Lexy says as she puts on her snowcap pasties. Nothing really, the girl says. Just thinking about harvesting some wheat.
 

Lindsay Lohan?
 

Not bad for a chubby bastard, Wheatstalks. Not bad.
 

Wheatstalks needs immediate induction into the Hall of Scrote. Immediate.
 

the bride of chucky had a better lookin face than this chick.
 

@BVD -- Sweet. Very, very sweet.
 

that shirt is just screaming "FUCK YOU HAIR! I WOULD'VE BEEN THE CENTER OF ATTENTION FOR EVERY WHEATSTALKS POST IF NOT FOR YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"

and i think we now have proof that somewhere out there, a mysterious power exists, which can turn Bleeths into stone. or bronze-like statues, at least.

i could've sworn that power was supposed to be granted to me! but oh well.
 

EVEN THIS FUNNY LOOKIN HOMO GETS MORE ASS THAN YOU GUYS...HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT?
 

@ANON

I WILLF FELEL YOUR STILB EATING HEART AFETE RI RIPE IT FORM YOU FAGAOTH CHEST!
 

@ Anon 6:05

Ever heard of "pay to pose?" WS had quite the bankroll that night.

@ Vin 1:14

Excellente! Now I don't have to wait 3 years.

Fuck Fung.
 

His head looks like one of those there Alien eggs. She may be in mortal danger of a Facehugger attack, which is probably preferable to being pawed by chubby and pasty tools all night long.
 

Uh Oh. Anon Quicy Bar Bag pissed off FLYTEETH.

This could get ugly.
 

the navel=goatse.
 

The Louis Vuitton name has been around for so long that it is well established in the designer handbag industry and extremely popular amongst the fashion savvy. If you want to get noticed then all you have to do is hang a Louis Vuitton designer handbag over your shoulder. These handbags by Louis Vuitton demand attention and seem to have a way of getting it!
http://www.europehandbag.com
 

ILL BIRN GHTE TOWLE AND BAR OF SOAP< AND MEDUSAS CAN HOLD BOATON DOUCHE DOWN! TIEM FOR A FULL METAL JATCET FUCEN BEWATIGN! I KNOW 1) OR 20- GUYS UP FOR PARLE WHO WIWLL BEAT THIS SHITSTAIN! @2TIME FOR A FUCEN BLANKET PARTY!
 

SURE BUDDY..SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION ^^
 

this guy is absurd

are you a real person?
 

I haven't checked his entire body of work, but it seems that Wheatstalks only appears with Promotional Hotts. True or false?
 

A tool & a trashy hott. Still, I'd lick the icing off the boobs.
 

"Sideboob" does not do this justice. I have a feeling that only one has the thing covering the nipple while the other is covered solely by her flowing, golden locks.
 

Yanno, I used to kind of like Wheatstalks. I can't say why, he just seemed too normal. Aside from the fucking hair and all. But this, this is just fucking creepy.
 

Looks like Wheatstalks has found a couple of Haystacks.
 

I think that is Devon the porn star
 

man that looks exactly like Lindsay Lohan
 

Wheatstalks does NOT look like Lindsay Lohan.
 

@ Anonymous @ 7:57 PM

Fuck you and your fake handbags, too.
 

@ flyteeth 8:01

Splendid! I just got an olive green military rubber catsuit with swank red and gold epaulets. I even stopped at the Army Surplus for a smart doffer to make it extra scary.

Now who wants to go do push-ups in the mud while I yell at 'em? :D
 

I'd like to nominate Wheatstalks early on in 2009 for the douchie's "creepiest fingers brush" award.
 

Looking at Wheatstalks gives me indigestion. Pass the Pepto-Bismol.
I'd like to dump it on him.
 

Flock of Seagulls has turned into a fat ass!