Thursday, February 26, 2009
Poo
Some days I just should've stayed in bed.
Via DListed.com.
EDIT: The readers step up for the tag:
Butch Cassidy and the Douched out Kids: here
Axius Duchius Maximus: here.
Mr. White: here
Boatbutter: here
Douchille Bag'Neil: here
Comments:
<< Home
That is a giant backwards step in human evolution, ladies and gentleman I give you cro-douchebaggus
# posted by 
: 7:03 AM
: 7:03 AM
He looks like a 7-11 hot dog after a few weeks in the rollers. She looks like David Spade with abs. I think my appendix just burst.
What the hell is going on with this dude's face? Does he have a mustache? Did he cut into his cheeks like The Joker?
I'm going to go curl up under my desk in a pool of my own vomit and urine now. And not in the sexy way, either.
I'm going to go curl up under my desk in a pool of my own vomit and urine now. And not in the sexy way, either.
this is the most disturbing picture i have EVER seen on this glorious website.
it's frightening and deeply disturbing on so many levels.
please DB1, for the love of god, make the next post a couple of hott lesbians tongue-wrestling.
i have to go wash out my eyes.
it's frightening and deeply disturbing on so many levels.
please DB1, for the love of god, make the next post a couple of hott lesbians tongue-wrestling.
i have to go wash out my eyes.
AAAAAAAGGGGHHHH! The first pic that pops up on the DListed link is Criss Angel!!! We all should have stayed in bed.
Will one of the regs please pretend to be this pile of greasy shit and ask DB1 to take down the pic?!
...for the love of GOD!
p.s. they are both men.
...for the love of GOD!
p.s. they are both men.
After taking a shower in motor oil, Rory likes to rip the sleeves off his golf shirts and frost his hair with Kimmee, the ablino-faced rubbery St. Bernard chew toy.
ohhhhh the douche-manity! i may pry my eyes out with a letter opener now. Thanks DB1
# posted by : 7:17 AM
: 7:17 AM
This guy truly does live in my butthole. Just look how excited he is to get out for a little while and mingle
wat a way to wake up in the morning :( thanks for ruining the day, with new vigor I'll be back for Haiku
This picture is the first sign of the coming apocalypse
Shitty drawings of guitars on the wall: check
Bodybuilding posters on the back of the door: check
Woman with ripped tanned body hanging out with a real life version of HULK: check
Excuse me while I go light myself on fire to avoid the coming pestilence.
Shitty drawings of guitars on the wall: check
Bodybuilding posters on the back of the door: check
Woman with ripped tanned body hanging out with a real life version of HULK: check
Excuse me while I go light myself on fire to avoid the coming pestilence.
# posted by : 7:19 AM
: 7:19 AM
Before this morning I would have sworn that it was no longer possible to find a pic of someone who has ruined their own body in a fashion that surprises me. I thought Fung had taken the process of disgustification to its illogical extreme.
Touche DB1. I hope you fucking choke on a Ho-Ho for this. (Post the Haiku first, though please.)
Touche DB1. I hope you fucking choke on a Ho-Ho for this. (Post the Haiku first, though please.)
DB1; not cool, dude, not cool. You need to put up some hott pics to make up for...whatever the fuck this is, I don't even know. Are they human? Serious question, I can't tell.
How does one express a long, loud, horrified scream of abject terror in text? 'Cause I kinda need to do that.
Also, pass the mind bleach.
Also, pass the mind bleach.
# posted by : 7:26 AM
: 7:26 AM
This is also stone-cold proof positive there is no God. Thanks DB1, you've ruined both my morning and my faith. I hope you're happy.
How do a persons eye get that close together?
There is no possible way this picture is real.
I want to fight something.
There is no possible way this picture is real.
I want to fight something.
# posted by : 7:31 AM
: 7:31 AM
not to be redundant, but arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
what's truly sad is these things think they look good. Even the incredible poo hulk.
what's truly sad is these things think they look good. Even the incredible poo hulk.
eHarmony was threatened and subsequently bombed after airing this happy couple in one of their commercials.
Riley takes a break from bronzing patio furniture to pose with Adele in front of her carnival cutout from WE-MAN magazine
bronze painbag? The Joker?
See kids, this is what happens when you play with the nitric acid...
See kids, this is what happens when you play with the nitric acid...
# posted by : 7:39 AM
: 7:39 AM
He looks like Fire Marshall Bill from "Living Color"...if he was deep fried to a crisp & slathered in oil.
I think we have a weiner, ah, winner, here, boys First Nominee for HCWDB of the Year!! POO!!
I think we have a weiner, ah, winner, here, boys First Nominee for HCWDB of the Year!! POO!!
Holy sweet Mother of Mary.
Now tonight I'll have to drink the memory of this freakish orange leathery debacle away.
Thanks in advance for the hangover at work tomorrow, DB1.
AV
Now tonight I'll have to drink the memory of this freakish orange leathery debacle away.
Thanks in advance for the hangover at work tomorrow, DB1.
AV
# posted by : 7:46 AM
: 7:46 AM
This is what happens when you inject the steroids directly into YOUR FACE! Jeezis!
Also, smiling should not count as flexing.
HJ
Also, smiling should not count as flexing.
HJ
This must be what a proctologist looked like after a horrible exam accident prior to the invention of surgical masks
This guy looks exactly like the Goombas from the Super Mario Bros. movie with John Leguizamo.
http://www.destructoid.com/why-the-super-mario-movie-is-an-underappreciated-masterpiece-29694.phtml
There's a pic about 1/4 of the way down the page. Uncanny.
http://www.destructoid.com/why-the-super-mario-movie-is-an-underappreciated-masterpiece-29694.phtml
There's a pic about 1/4 of the way down the page. Uncanny.
# posted by : 7:50 AM
: 7:50 AM
in last weeks csi a guy died by being shoved into a deep fryer.. looked a lot like this guy.
DB1 deep fried zombies are no laughing matter
DB1 deep fried zombies are no laughing matter
First we have THE HULK ..... Now we have THE THING.... What is this? The Justice League of Douchebags?
he looks like he's been dipped in honey garlic bbq sauce...
his vocabulary must be limited to: grrrrr, ughhghghgh, mmmghhrrmmmrmhghh
his vocabulary must be limited to: grrrrr, ughhghghgh, mmmghhrrmmmrmhghh
# posted by : 7:56 AM
: 7:56 AM
to quote Radiation Man: "My Eyes The Goggles They Do Nahthing!"
Poo is definitely up for DB of the Year.
Poo is definitely up for DB of the Year.
Mrs. and Mr. DarkSock get back from their honeymoon relaxed, tan, buffed and ready to start a family and blog on the internet under super-multiple personalities.
This bag looks like a cross between Wiley Coyote getting an Acme bomb blown up in his face and Max Headroom.
What would it be like to have sex with this woman? Like fucking a concrete slab? Maybe she's softer than she looks. Is that even her real head?
Maybe I'm getting desperate. Because I'm having trouble turning down any of the women on this site recently.
@Mr. White
Hah! Dude, I don't know how you managed to reference Dark Angel as I'm watching it on the Sci-Fi channel. Quite impressive.
Maybe I'm getting desperate. Because I'm having trouble turning down any of the women on this site recently.
@Mr. White
Hah! Dude, I don't know how you managed to reference Dark Angel as I'm watching it on the Sci-Fi channel. Quite impressive.
seriously i wish i had less on my plate today, i would have some fun with this in photoshop. if i could even find a color match without pooping into a usb slot
Thats Ben Grimm- one of the Fantastic 4. He's on his way to fight the Silver Surfer.
Thats definitely not Jessica Alba.
Thats definitely not Jessica Alba.
how does something like this exist?
why does something like this exist?
who wants something like this to exist?
why do i have to look at it?
what about it makes me laugh uncontrollably?
it's like that guy who turned blue from drinking aqueous silver solution. only this guy drank his toilet water after his nights at the local mexican restaurant
why does something like this exist?
who wants something like this to exist?
why do i have to look at it?
what about it makes me laugh uncontrollably?
it's like that guy who turned blue from drinking aqueous silver solution. only this guy drank his toilet water after his nights at the local mexican restaurant
# posted by : 8:08 AM
: 8:08 AM
He couldn't resist the temptation I guess...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgfzdgWgEZ4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgfzdgWgEZ4
# posted by : 8:09 AM
: 8:09 AM
@shamspear
The great part about SciFi is that whenever I "work" from home (not that often, maybe a few days a month), I'm pretty much guaranteed an all-day marathon of either Dark Angel or Tru Calling. Both horrible shows in their own right, but with different flavors of yumminess (Jessica Alba v. Eliza Dushku) to delight and dull the senses.
As a result, I now know way too much about both shows.
The great part about SciFi is that whenever I "work" from home (not that often, maybe a few days a month), I'm pretty much guaranteed an all-day marathon of either Dark Angel or Tru Calling. Both horrible shows in their own right, but with different flavors of yumminess (Jessica Alba v. Eliza Dushku) to delight and dull the senses.
As a result, I now know way too much about both shows.
On one hand, it's part of their profession as body builders so I want to give them a pass. They have to get all bronzed up so the judges see all the striations they have from years of obsessive lifting and from purging their bodies of sodium and water for the last three days.
But then I realize that their entire profession is douchey and gross. It's kind of like a giving a pass for P2P, except it's Paid 2 Douche, thus douche you are and shall remain.
But then I realize that their entire profession is douchey and gross. It's kind of like a giving a pass for P2P, except it's Paid 2 Douche, thus douche you are and shall remain.
# posted by : 8:17 AM
: 8:17 AM
@Mr. White
Yeah. Alba's in her sneaking around leather jumpsuit right now. Words can't describe how much I want to put my anaconda in the back of her Honda.
Yeah. Alba's in her sneaking around leather jumpsuit right now. Words can't describe how much I want to put my anaconda in the back of her Honda.
The film "Salo, or 120 Days of Sodom" is widely regarded as one of the most viscerally disturbing and borderline unwatchable films of all time. It continues to be banned in several countries and has only just recently seen the light of day in the United States. It is full of graphic displays of torture, rape (mostly of teenagers), corprophagia, and other depraved acts of physical and sexual humiliation.
This photo makes that movie look like "The Muppets Take Manhattan."
Time to douse my eyes/liver in grain alcohol.
-Douche Leto Atreides
This photo makes that movie look like "The Muppets Take Manhattan."
Time to douse my eyes/liver in grain alcohol.
-Douche Leto Atreides
# posted by : 8:26 AM
: 8:26 AM
WTF with the bag of DOG FOOD on the chair behind them? did those two just finish eating that shit with their faces?
# posted by : 8:36 AM
: 8:36 AM
I think that dude is the "human statue" I just tipped on Bourbon Street.
I must admit, I thought somebody just put a bucket in front of a statue...
I must admit, I thought somebody just put a bucket in front of a statue...
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO ME DB1?!?!?!?!?! I'm gone for a day out on sales calls, and I come back to find THIS?
I don't even understand what is going on here. Why is that dude in a blonde wig and bikini? why is the other dude the exact shade of the dump i took this morning?
I don't even understand what is going on here. Why is that dude in a blonde wig and bikini? why is the other dude the exact shade of the dump i took this morning?
Oh. My.
GAWWWWWDDDD!!!!
I can not stop laughing.
Is this for real??? Is he trying to look like an Oscar??
Is this a huffing episode gone bad???
Holy... Mother... of... Beelzebub!!
Medoucha
GAWWWWWDDDD!!!!
I can not stop laughing.
Is this for real??? Is he trying to look like an Oscar??
Is this a huffing episode gone bad???
Holy... Mother... of... Beelzebub!!
Medoucha
# posted by : 8:47 AM
: 8:47 AM
What in holy hell? That's it, I'm done. I can't mock this, thing. Not because I don't want to, but, I just, I don't have words.
No worries, I had a good run.
No worries, I had a good run.
He looks like a brown Cookie Monster.
http://blogs.e-rockford.com/bricksandclicks/files/2008/02/cookiemonster.jpg
http://blogs.e-rockford.com/bricksandclicks/files/2008/02/cookiemonster.jpg
# posted by : 8:53 AM
: 8:53 AM
I'm with Dr. Douchebag...what the hell is going on here? How does this guy stand in front of a mirror and think this is acceptable?
This picture makes me want to start drinking over lunch.
This picture makes me want to start drinking over lunch.
# posted by : 8:59 AM
: 8:59 AM
I'm out of tears and my face and stomach hurt from laughing.
If I laughed like that once a day every day, my abs would look as good as hers.
Holy fuck.
If I laughed like that once a day every day, my abs would look as good as hers.
Holy fuck.
ZOMG he ripped me off!!! That's the reflective tape face I made for the back of my motorcycle helmet!
bastard!
bastard!
It seems a new type of steroids has the side effect of turning your stool into a human being...
Should have the warning: Not for female consumption...
Should have the warning: Not for female consumption...
# posted by : 9:42 AM
: 9:42 AM
When using his masterful powers of ZEN, Samurai Scrote shits little buff shits like this all the time
This makes me want to go back to bed and dream of punching Care Bears in the face.
# posted by : 10:00 AM
: 10:00 AM
Her face is all pink due to cum-dodger reflex; every time they try to spray her face she ducks out of the way.
This guy (the one on the right) scared the hell out of me. I will never step foot in sunlight again without protection. I'm waiting for it to get dark and then I'm rushing out to buy five gallons of the highest SPF sunscreen I can find.
# posted by : 10:09 AM
: 10:09 AM
Damn. I'm buried at work, but I had a free minute in between meetings, so I check in to see how things are going here and...
...for the first time in a while, I can't wait to go to my next meeting. First, I'm going to ask one of my drafters to stick graphite shafts in my eyes.
Anything to rid me of this sight.
Damn.
...for the first time in a while, I can't wait to go to my next meeting. First, I'm going to ask one of my drafters to stick graphite shafts in my eyes.
Anything to rid me of this sight.
Damn.
He looks like the Tarman from "Return of the Living Dead." He is scaring me. Make him go away.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_peFk7PpcaEo/SGV9Rg-et6I/AAAAAAAAABw/onJll9qyaqM/s320/tarmanzombie.jpg
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_peFk7PpcaEo/SGV9Rg-et6I/AAAAAAAAABw/onJll9qyaqM/s320/tarmanzombie.jpg
# posted by : 10:17 AM
: 10:17 AM
So, ah, I got brave enough to enlarge the pic again and, well, Killer Croc there has a WEDDING RING on his finger. Which means he and Jerky Bertha could possibly be breeding. That is if the chemical treatments haven't rendered them sterile. God we can only hope.
Anyhow so what do you figure she has to get a veterinarian to deliver the baby? I don't know if a normal OBGYN could handle that mess. She might be thinking Arby's, for all the wrong reasons.
Wouldn't the larva be some kind of little mutant gob, like Basket Case?
Anyhow so what do you figure she has to get a veterinarian to deliver the baby? I don't know if a normal OBGYN could handle that mess. She might be thinking Arby's, for all the wrong reasons.
Wouldn't the larva be some kind of little mutant gob, like Basket Case?
There's nothing wrong with this guy. He is just a little bit over tanned. I think he's cute.
I'd do him.
I'd do him.
I thought it was Frost from Dusk Til
Dawn. Yeccch. That grin...that grin....My apologies if someone beat me to it.
Dawn. Yeccch. That grin...that grin....My apologies if someone beat me to it.
Strr: 18
Int: 4
Wis: 5
Con: 17
Chr: -99
Failing your save vs. Petridication roll results in spontaneous burpee reps and max presses without a spotter.
Int: 4
Wis: 5
Con: 17
Chr: -99
Failing your save vs. Petridication roll results in spontaneous burpee reps and max presses without a spotter.
He looks like Drag from The Last Star Fighter.
http://www.nndb.com/people/288/000090018/oherlihy-last-starfighter-sm.jpg
http://www.nndb.com/people/288/000090018/oherlihy-last-starfighter-sm.jpg
# posted by : 11:00 AM
: 11:00 AM
...all the lifelike qualities of an injection moulded, milk chocolate, Easter Douchebag...
...don't ask about the eggs...
...don't ask about the eggs...
# posted by : 11:30 AM
: 11:30 AM
@Captain Bringdown.
That movie (Swamp Thing) was awesome when I was younger.
This fuckface ruined it. Forever.
Fuck Poo, kettlehead, Crimson Ted, Fung, Fish Slap, Dj Bello, and Joey Porsche.
...even though they are all probably alternative personalities of DarkSock.
That movie (Swamp Thing) was awesome when I was younger.
This fuckface ruined it. Forever.
Fuck Poo, kettlehead, Crimson Ted, Fung, Fish Slap, Dj Bello, and Joey Porsche.
...even though they are all probably alternative personalities of DarkSock.
...what's really got me freaked out, when you zoom in, are those creepy hard candy Easter Douchebag eyes...
# posted by : 11:36 AM
: 11:36 AM
Fuck me sideways, is this for real?!?
She has that shit-eating grin you see on housewives in advertisements from the 1950's. It's really scary.
I don't understand any of this.
She has that shit-eating grin you see on housewives in advertisements from the 1950's. It's really scary.
I don't understand any of this.
# posted by : 11:39 AM
: 11:39 AM
Its.......Andy Dufresne!
"Andy crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shit smelling foulness I can't even imagine, or maybe I just don't want too. Five hundred yards... that's the length of five football fields, just shy of half a mile. "
"Andy crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shit smelling foulness I can't even imagine, or maybe I just don't want too. Five hundred yards... that's the length of five football fields, just shy of half a mile. "
# posted by : 11:42 AM
: 11:42 AM
Son. Of. A. Bitch.
If work keeps getting in the way of things like this I may have to lay myself off.
fuck me with a spatula.
If work keeps getting in the way of things like this I may have to lay myself off.
fuck me with a spatula.
DB1: I really like your site, but you shouldn't use pics that have already been raped and pillaged by other rival blogs. thedanzatap.com had this up days ago--- and his website is much funnier than yours.
Agreed...
...it makes me moist in all the wrong places, with all the wrong fluids...
...it makes me moist in all the wrong places, with all the wrong fluids...
# posted by : 12:08 PM
: 12:08 PM
Oh, I get it now. It's a black man trying to look white. Yeah, that makes more sense to me. WTF?!?
# posted by : 12:21 PM
: 12:21 PM
This picture should not be run on this site. I have studied it for hours and have not come across a single hot chick.
Holy fucking shit.
Wow. I got nothin.
This guy is a shoo=in for the weekly, a SERIOUS contender for te monthly and if we can find some more of him, we could be looking at the winner for the year, and it's only February.
I... I... wow...
I got nuthin. This exceeds... This is like Detroit - the worst of all possible places - economy like Botswana, weather like Siberia and the freeways of los angeles. This guy is like the worst of all possible douchebags.
The tone of Fung
The fake body of Gator
and the idiot glee of CroBagnon on laughing gas.
And the bleeth? Leave barbie in the oven and she transforms into a musclebound idiot harpie.
Wow.
Stunning. Truly fucking stunning.
Wow. I got nothin.
This guy is a shoo=in for the weekly, a SERIOUS contender for te monthly and if we can find some more of him, we could be looking at the winner for the year, and it's only February.
I... I... wow...
I got nuthin. This exceeds... This is like Detroit - the worst of all possible places - economy like Botswana, weather like Siberia and the freeways of los angeles. This guy is like the worst of all possible douchebags.
The tone of Fung
The fake body of Gator
and the idiot glee of CroBagnon on laughing gas.
And the bleeth? Leave barbie in the oven and she transforms into a musclebound idiot harpie.
Wow.
Stunning. Truly fucking stunning.
The woman - if that's what it is - scares me and makes my testes ascend, but that's not the real problem here.
Where is the guy's (if he is a guy, or for that matter a human) face? I can make out eyes and a nose, and the rest of it as far as I can tell is burned off. Or something. Jesus. He looks like the aftermath of a radiation accident.
Where is the guy's (if he is a guy, or for that matter a human) face? I can make out eyes and a nose, and the rest of it as far as I can tell is burned off. Or something. Jesus. He looks like the aftermath of a radiation accident.
http://www.laura-june.com/pictures_raw/My%20pics/ramtur_mars_attacks.jpg
this motherfucker is an alien
this motherfucker is an alien
If I don't allow myself to laugh hyhsterically at this utter fucking nonsenzse of a "man," then I will instead die screaming from the fright.
Being that "tan" cannot, I mean CANNOT be that goddamned important, bodybuilder or no.
She may not great-looking, but this better be in the Weekly. And if our monitors can survive another photo of "Reece C. Feces" here, he's HoS material.
Hell, he might be worthy NOW. Even Fung is saying, "Dude, WTF?"
Being that "tan" cannot, I mean CANNOT be that goddamned important, bodybuilder or no.
She may not great-looking, but this better be in the Weekly. And if our monitors can survive another photo of "Reece C. Feces" here, he's HoS material.
Hell, he might be worthy NOW. Even Fung is saying, "Dude, WTF?"
I still have not processed this photograph to the point where I can yield a comment.
Goodbye Sober Day.
Goodbye Sober Day.
did anyone see Small Soldiers?
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_SHtepaTecT4/SacC0VZXJTI/AAAAAAAAAv4/zlUzJ0cx-lo/s1600-h/blitz.gif
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_SHtepaTecT4/SacC0VZXJTI/AAAAAAAAAv4/zlUzJ0cx-lo/s1600-h/blitz.gif
@Steven
I always wondered who was the biggest douche of all the commentors... Thanks for clearing that up. If this site isn't funny enough just leave and everything should clear up nicely for the rest of us.
I always wondered who was the biggest douche of all the commentors... Thanks for clearing that up. If this site isn't funny enough just leave and everything should clear up nicely for the rest of us.
# posted by : 1:09 PM
: 1:09 PM
@Little Steven -
"DB1: I really like your site, but you shouldn't use pics that have already been raped and pillaged by other rival blogs. thedanzatap.com had this up days ago--- and his website is much funnier than yours."
Oh, OK. Thanks. I'm sure DB1 will get right on that and hire staff to surf the Web 24/7 to make sure he's never second to post a photo.
Yeah, that's possible. About as possible as thedanzatap being funnier than HCwDB.....to clarify for you, it's not.
"DB1: I really like your site, but you shouldn't use pics that have already been raped and pillaged by other rival blogs. thedanzatap.com had this up days ago--- and his website is much funnier than yours."
Oh, OK. Thanks. I'm sure DB1 will get right on that and hire staff to surf the Web 24/7 to make sure he's never second to post a photo.
Yeah, that's possible. About as possible as thedanzatap being funnier than HCwDB.....to clarify for you, it's not.
I have no idea who Vincent Guastini is, but he has this, and I have decided to steal it from him.
As you can see from the pic, I think this "person" MUST be the shit demon from Dogma. They even have the same smile!
As you can see from the pic, I think this "person" MUST be the shit demon from Dogma. They even have the same smile!
# posted by : 2:07 PM
: 2:07 PM
Skeletor. It's totally the personification of Skeletor. Props for calling it, massengill. Nightmares await me.
# posted by : 2:09 PM
: 2:09 PM
seriously. butch cassidy. i've been fucking laughing all goddamn day picturing that fucking goomba. bravo good sir.
There's no way I'm not getting credit for the Goomba tag @ 7:50. Give me my moment butch cassidy, it's all I have.
# posted by : 2:34 PM
: 2:34 PM
I recognize him.. he's the mutated byproduct of the massive dump i took last night after eating 4 burritos from El Jalisco.
# posted by : 2:59 PM
: 2:59 PM
What is happening with his fuvking face?! Seriously, it creeps me out.
And his skin appears to be Genuine Leather. From a cow.
I didn't even notice the man with a vagina at first.
And his skin appears to be Genuine Leather. From a cow.
I didn't even notice the man with a vagina at first.
# posted by : 3:07 PM
: 3:07 PM
SWEET JEBUS!!!
it looks like the demons from "Devil's Advocate".
i'm seriously not alright right now. to say i'm scared of that... that... thing, would be an understatement of immense proportions.
it looks like the demons from "Devil's Advocate".
i'm seriously not alright right now. to say i'm scared of that... that... thing, would be an understatement of immense proportions.
That isn't real is it? Can it Be? ... a real life chocolate man indeed...I suspect skin cancer might be in poo's future, just a hunch
Post a Comment
# posted by : 3:15 PM
: 3:15 PM << Home
.jpg){kind=link}
