DB1 by posting this story excerpt you are giving tacit approval to the 3rd Reich and by extension the holocaust. Jews will be outraged.

Or they would be if there had actually been a holocaust. silly jews.
 

IOB!
 

right hott sure does have a nice asspear.

I took the time to look at it long enough to realize that the string between the crack is twisted slightly.

Also she has no boobies. This makes me sad.
 

As hard as life was being the world's only conjoined dual-sex triplets, things were made even more inconvenient when Stacy and Kimmy had to stop dancing every single time Frank needed them to poop for him.
 

Todd paid top dollar for his Bose Noise-Cancelling WhorePhones.
 

I have heard this tale before. It is one of woe.

Upon many roads have I encountered the douchehead. A formidable foe, yes, but not invincible. I have chopped off many of the doucheheads, and slain the cockgobblers of the wooded glen.

Thanks to milady, my boner is as rigid as Excalibur.
 

Careful Douchelexic, Jew Bag assassinated Spell Nazi the other day. It seems like other regs are missing too.
 

No its cool. I'm a jew, so I can make holocaust jokes. like how latinos can talk about fiery tempers, blacks about slavery, and white people about being rich, privileged and douchey.
 

Great story to accompany the delicious ass pear. The Cheek Kiss tat is an awesome invention - God Bless the hots - now let's do something about the Douche Head - by do something I mean smear him with honey and placed in Yellowstone national park where awaking grizzlies will tear his chin pubes and crap out his mandana.
 

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and Douchelexic was the 3rd Reich around in 1846? Just an observation that you may have missed from the post.
 

Here we see a rare shot of a methane-breathing Grunt from Halo, without the mask. The girls produce the life-giving methane he needs to survive.
 

Two Girls, One Turd
 

Of course not. But the seeds were. Wagner. Blondes. Liederhosens. They could see where it was going.
 

Something about this pic makes me want to commit a violent act on anything that is wearing a mandanna and has pube's growing on it's face. Exploding ball bats come to mind.
 

there are 3 people who can now, never run for public office.


well, unless they live in NJ.
 

DB1 - Please...lay off the Night Train. Really, it's for your own good. Any more posts like this and we will be forced to hold an intervention.

Your loyal readers.
 

time for a new avatar.



i present you with, Petunia.
 

brett michaels finally loses the fucking douche cowboy hat attempting to squeeze between Cheek Kiss and tranny Ass Pear (no adult female could possibly be that flat, could she?)
 

It's an ass pear guillotine. As his head hit the floor, he could still hear techno. Then he took his final whiff of Axe and grease as his tribal tatt ridden corpse crumpled to the floor.
 

Good post DB1. Post what you want. Take a position.

Is Tarantino a douche?

Shit'chyea he is!
 

I have a problem with this particular ass pear as it appears to be more like ass watermelons...


But that's where the problem ends mmmyymymmmghmmhmmrgggrgjkkkmmmm............. SLURP! mmmmhmm
 

I hate to admit it, but... I actually envy that douche.
 

I like ass pears, and I like red heads, but I'm with Scumbag619, the lack of boobies is saddening .
In fact, it looks like all of the women in that picture lack chest meat. And when girls lack chest meat, they are usually prone to show off ass meat. The reverse is true as well. Such are the laws of nature.
 

i'm okay with that law
 

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I love ass-fucking.
 

If I had a lash from Medusa for every time that I had to do that stupid "ass-lips" tattoo, I would be a happy man.

I mean, when you hear the same asinine tattoo jokes every day like I do it's a wonder I'm not a serial killer...like,

"I want 'your name' on my ass."

"I want a rooster with a noose around it's neck below my knee, so I can say my cock hangs below my knee."

"I want the letter 'M' on each butt cheek so that it says 'MoM' with my asshole, and when I do a handstand it says 'WoW'"

...I could go on, but then I'd have to kill myself.

So, as a professional tattoo artist, I'm begging all of you please refrain from making these same fucked off jokes to us, we've heard them all before, they're not original, and no longer hold their humorous sway that they did fifty years ago. Thanks.
 

For those of you complaining about lack of breasts may I quote you some words of wisdom form a guy with a bra on his head I like to live by; "Anything more than a handful is a waste."

Also is the postion of torturer of these two open? If so I would like to apply. I would apply the patented Flounder Ass Bongo Torture. But to be fair and appease my OCD I would first have to untwist Ass Pear's Thong with my tongue first. Then check and see if Cheek Kiss needs the same treatment.
 

The saying "Anything more than a handful is a waste" was created by a woman with small breast and repeated by the men who love them. Just like the whole "women don't care about penis size" sayings.

The real saying should be "a bra on anything smaller than a large B cup is a waste of material."

Unless small titties are your thing. Personally I like my meat to nipple ratio to lean favorably towards meat.
 

Flounder's comment reminds me of Weird Science
when they were making Lisa
 

*walks to podium*
*taps on microphone*
(thump-thump-thump)
*clears throat and surveys the crowd gathered*

"Spankings."






"That is all."

Another job well done.
 

Butthead?
 

DB1 back on his "A Game." I love it.
 

That is ugliest damn mole I've ever seen. That should really be biopsied soonest.


As for stripper ass: I... I came before I could think of anything funny. Shit.
 

Douche Head learns the hard way that the patented Crimson Ted manoeuvre is actually harder to pull off than he thought. "No, Douche," says the Mahogany Master, "face goes IN the ass."
 

@pfah, 11:41 a.m. -

Awwwww, Petunia is a sweetie! Watch out for macho bulldouches with spiked collars, though I'm sure she's been schooled in resisting DogTag bodyspray.
 

@Anon, 1:23 p.m. -

I don't think it's the same person, but maybe the three pictured here are readers of the site.

That just means we'll thank the hotts for exposing their luscious cheeks. Him, not so much.
 

Anon 1:23 may be on to something; we may have a serial butter on our hands.
 

Also, the Red Head appears to have a small vagina on her outer hip. That is perfect.
 

i would just like to say, for the record, that while i own a lot of 10-second clips of Jill Kelly, she's still a skank.

and i have the same feelings about this pic.

but back to the Brothers Grimm. i demand juicy details on how Ass Pear was tortured! in graphical form if possible.
 

This is more like it! Now I shall visit the site much more.

When I mean "more" I mean MORE ASS PEARs!!!
 

@ JCvD

A-Fucking-Men!!! and let me know when and how you want those lashes. It's spring, I've got the Smiling Mink out and I'm conditioning all The Weapons Of Ass Destruction. The tattoo jokes....fucking kill me, seriously. And if I hear one more person say they want that stick man with the lawnmower, I'm gonna do some eyegouging. Thank you for the PSA, Good sir!!! Love the avatar, btw.

@ RevDoom 11:21
No. No it is not. Because 9 out of ten people who get this tattoo are obese and unattractive. If this tattoo would be repeated infinitely on taut ass pear, I could perhaps overlook how stupid it is. HOWEVER....I have, on SEVERAL occasions, had to put one the hairy, dimpled ass of a fratchoad/over the hill douchewank. Nothing like staring down a savage tuft of ass hair clawing its way out of the crack to make you question your career choice.
 

Colostomy 'Bag.
 

This, friends, is why I like to masturbate.
 

@Wheezer...you would love Petunia. she is a total badass.
 

Admit it, Pfah: you bought the dog because her face resembles Bea Arthur's junk.
 

Pfah-I knew I liked you, but with the new avatar, I LOVE you! Petunia is adorable & she looks like my bully, Priscilla! :) They could be buddies...just like us...awww....

Does she fart alot? Because my bully can clear a room in 2 seconds flat...
 

Who cares about stories when Ass Pear and Cheek Kiss are staring you down in the face with a Wizard of Oz unattached douchebaghead hangin' out in the middle
 

i love the pushed together butt-cleave
 

I'm with Vin, more like ass melon & I'd eat it!
 

@ Medusa 4:12

She's the 2nd hott I've seen with it so my experiences are limited - I don't doubt it is a bad thing for the unwashed masses. Everything starts out good then gets out of control when the non-hotts brandish them.
 

That thong is in the twisted/distraught position because she just got railed in the mens room by Hans McTaint there.

Just look at the lost damsel's, she has been consumed by bleethdom, most likely the famed tale of Princess Ass Pear and the Despicable Count Poo Grin.

If you choose to attemp rescuing the Princess, I strong recommend wearing gloves, possibly a hazmat suit, for Count Poo Grin's powers are as infectious as they are scrotastic. Beware.
 

I wonder how much vickidin and rufnol these the douche had to give to these chicks to strip?
 

@ Medusa and JCvD

Hope you guys see this here, cuz its a random question, but i'd like the professional perspective...

You guys ever seen the show on Discovery, "Tattoo Hunter"?

Its this dude who's a "Tattoo Anthropologist" who travels around the world learning about different tattooing culturs, and getting one of their tribals.

is he a douche?
 

Which of the girls has a massive tumor growing out of her hip?
 

I'm sorry, what? I seem to have lost my train of thought.
 

I... like big butts and I cannot lie! All you muthafuckas can denyyy...
 

@ Douchelexic 9:39

I've not seen it. But taking a sacred ritual that has tremendous meaning to an ancient people and then smearing it all over television and your own website and profiting off of it is uber-douche.

You don't see reality shows about Bris Milah. Or The Extreme Unction. Or the Barabaig Gar. What the Maori do with their tattooing has no place alongside the silly sugardrama of L.A. Ink.

NONE.
 

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Never during all my travels from Thessaly to Marathon have I encountered such a succulent ass pear.

Once plucked, my staff would glide easily into the sweet and luscious fruit of the pear until the nectar drips onto my sandals.
 

Think I saw that douche in a porno.
 

There are three perfect asses in this picture.