she looks like she's been around for a few Arabian nights. Not that I wouldn't fly on her magic carpet or anything....
 

i would bukkake her.
 

She's thick. I am not into that, but I'd love to get into her with my anger sword...
 

That chick TOTALLY wants to go back to nursing school!

Uncanny.
 

He has that "I'm a total plaid über scrote and desire to have my testes rammed repeatedly by a midget wearing a steel helmet" look.

She has that, "so what I've been and camera naked and I'll make your little man happy too for a rum and coke" look. And not the well branded soft drink type of coke.

I obviously prefer the latter look to the first.
 

smash mouth scrote 'stache
 

So Cosmo says she's fat?
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause her bikini's small and her curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
 

i'm 94% certain that I used to work with her.

and I used to always rest my head on her boobies after a long shift.

thats what i miss about serving tables.

the boobies.

boobies.
 

Alright, she may not be a "10", but every time she does her "I'm cutting my forearm in half" illusion, I get a hard on.
 

She'd do in a pinch. Speaking of pinch, he looks like the loaf I just pinched.

Blenderboy FTW!
 

Wow! What to say about this guy? With the sleeved out tatts and the hospital/golf pants, you wouldn't think he would need douchey hair to complete the ensemble?
 

@ Douchelexic

The more I look at her, the more I'm thinking we're ALL 94% certain we've worked with her...

...or worked "in her", or "on her", or "underneath her", etc.
 

she looks naughty.

$100 says if you asked her to go out to a nice dinner with you, she'd say yes, but only if you pee in her butt first.

as far as Blenderboy goes...Ed Grimley Jr. called. he wants his shirt back.
 

I dunno, I think she's pretty attractive. In an Aunt from outside of Philly sort of way.

He's not to baggish. Just some dumb facial hair and retarded coloring job on his skull. Otherwise that's it, even though I know some folk will jump all over his tattoos.
 

And as a color blind man myself, I feel for his lack of coordination. He truly might not know.
 

Ha ha.... What is it with hot chicks and nursing school?
 

Looks like the gimp isn't sleeping.

As for the fair lady, only mistresses of the Emperor may wear Tyrian purple. She must be stripped and flogged.
 

blenderboy? more like BLUNDER boy, am I right? haha. Heyo! (rimshot) (crickets chirping.)

Open Mic at the Improv! Hoowa!
 

Dude. Why are they in the exact same pose? Look. Seriously. What the hell? They're both looking at the same thing too. What is going ON!?!
 

@Shamespear the Magnificent...Plinky's mom was undressing.
 

@shamespear

high school senior fashion show fundraiser?
 

Is that the dude from Alien Ant Farm?
 

I donno...if it has douchebag facial hair, douchebag hair, douchebag tattoos and douchebag attire...I'd feel safe saying it's a douchebag.

perhaps it's his mellow expression and lack of groping of the hott that's throwing you off? I suspect he's admiring the backside of a hotter hott that's off in a distance.
 

This douche goes the extra mile for the complete ensamble. Such a outfit shows well thought projection of ones life and thoughts....By his life and thoughts it would be DRECK.
She is 2am Denny's and a grand slam breakfast in the grease pit on my rented fuuton.
 

The hott is extremely hott. She's just not sucking in her stomach like the other 5X10^7 aspiring models out there.
 

@Scrotrates

Uncanny! I was just stripped and flogged, somehow I don't think it was quite the same though...'cause my crotch feels like Pompeii after Mount Vesuvius spit at it.

...also I would mount purple bikini-clad hotts Vesuvius like a sea monkey copulates a Macrocheira kaempferi by brushing his antennae via anilis.
 

Well, he'll never be accused of being gay dressed like that. Even if he's coiffed like the Master Control Program.

As far as you WOW masturbators picking on poor Rosie: You cretins wouldn't know a good lay if it was delivered to your doorstep in a giant crate labeled "Good Lay: 1 doz" and accompanied by the "Good Lay" quick setup manual, a month's subscription to "Good Lay" magazine, and your mother pulling a football team train saying "shit, she's a better lay than I am."

That's one prime package from head to suckable toe, with real boobies, a great smile, and succulent thighs.
 

@ Douchelexic

His barber looks at his hair and has to ask whether he wants a cut or just an oil change. HO!
 

This guy I saw in the pit of a quickie lube last week, proof even if you look like that, someone will employ you.
 

Hey, fleas really trust his hair. They leave their babies there.

HEY NOW!

(distant sound of person in audience clearing throat)
 

Last Halloween I really scared this guy. I went over to his house dressed as a job!

(sound of people leaving auditorium)
 

O.K. just hear me out... you know those beanies with propellers that you've never seen, but that cartoon characters and supposedly nerds from the 50s wore? Well this dude must not have because if he had he wouldn't have gone for the propeller beanie dye job a.k.a. circus tent motif. All that's missing is the prop on top.

Also why would you drop thousands of dollars for top notch ink (actually looks like quality work) and then wear that clown outfit? Dude you aren't a bad ass... you just look like a low rent, circus clown on his day off.

- Douchey Smurf
 

observation specialist?
 

I just wonder if he realizes his mustache fell off and it's still sticking to his chin.
 

mmmm...she's very, robust.

she looks like she could withstand a thorough beating from my pork truncheon.

trot on.
 

My dearest brunette hotness,

Words fail me as I struggle to find words that would adequately explain the many gentle ways I would pamper your delectable curves. And as you pine for my ponderous adjective-laden descriptions of said pampering, I shall briefly state, for the record, that it will involve lotion, a whoopi-cushion and frog testicles. I’ll leave the rest to your own lurid interpretations.

(Call me)
 

Is it me, or does she have a wet spot on her crotch?
Oh, and she's not thick. She's num yummy in all the right places.
 

Red beans and rice didn't miss her.
 

Brunette,

With all due respect to my colleague, Mr. Head, allow me to make a counter-proposal. Details will be forthcoming, but it will involve chocolate sauce, urine, jumper cables, and Medusa.

Call me.
 

@BURENETTE

FORGET CRUCIAL ADN WHITE! MY LOVE WILL INOVLVE FUCEN TARMAL, TOLLHOUSE COOK*IES, NA D A SEVERED FUCEN TONGUE!
 

while I highly agree that she's very bangable and a little chunck in the trunk never hurt anyone, I very highly doubt those boobs are real.

just because a girl is chubs doesn't make her huge tits real. guys need to realize this. "thick" girls' boobs almost never look that perky, unless she was just soaking those things in a tub of ice cubes for an hour.
 

Flyteeth,

I shed salty fuccen tears!
 

Dearest Clarissa

Since these other butt muscles didn't even bother to learn your name I humbly submit my name and ask you to join Halo Angel and I for a night involving sparkling cider, gold taper candles, and Andrea Boccelli tied to a chair singing his blind little heart out.

sincerely

Douchelexic.
 

@Flyteeth

Aw, come on, 'Teeth. How are we mere mortals supposed to compete with TARMAL and a severed tongue?
 

My Dearest,

With all proper regards to Messrs. Head, White, and Teeth, please consider my love offer. I'm at liberty to mention only these items: birdseed, a potato, a Dremel tool, and a lamp.

Call me.
 

@WHITE

WALK THE FUCEN PATH TO TARMAL OR CRY SALTY FUCEN TERAS, SLAPWHOAER!

@CURCISAL

CRY NO FUCEN SLATY TEARS MAN! THIS THICK CHIC HAS ENOUGH TO SHWARE!@
 

Bigtop Weepee: Let's find out where Anna Nicole is buried--I'll dig her up and skull fuck that zombie broad.
Girl FutureFatty: You built like a ferret, WeePee. And you dress like you're on Tyler Perry's "Madea Rents a Whiteboy Caddie. I fear what you did to your pubes.
My pubes, says WeePee. Are Squarepants. Where's the phone, I got to check in with my sex crime parole officer.
Call the fashion police while you're at it.
Enough, FutureFatty! Or I jam a candy bar up your butt.
A Mounds.
Maybe.
Oh, Bigtop WeePee!
 

Looks like the douche got into a fight with a lawn mower...and lost!

Some might call her trashy.

Only if she lets you give her a dirty sanchez.
 

I want to baste her body with my tongue, make a Churrasco out of it and then carve her up with my teeth.

The douche is walking migraine. He wouldn't even be ok to dress like that on a Carnival Holiday.
 

I want to make some witty comment but my brain is stuck in a "Goddamn that is one fucking ugly outfit" loop. I keep thinking something is coming and then that fucking shirt socket-rapes my eyeballs once more.

Goddamn that is one ugly outfit.
 

Now that I've had to contemplate the plight of this poor bastard, I realize that it is his mother who is to blame.

What type of sick fuck dresses up their blind son like this?

Not cool mom, not cool.
 

Sorry, he barely registers on the douche meter and it only tremors due to the chin-thing of hair. She on the other hand is the stripper chick who thinks of her act as "classy" because she doesn't shoot a banana out of her cooch. Granted, I would hump the wounds if she got stigmata but that face is gonna go from this to 45+ in less than 6 months.
 

She's awesomesauce. I'd ravage her one minute, treat her like a queen the next, then pull her hair and make her call me grandma. Wait.

She does it for me, and by does it, I mean she enables a triumphant purplish-reddish veiny one.

Good breeding stock too.
 

What happened to his hair? And his ears? And his arm? Somebody help him...
 

so is Mr. White competing against his own alter ego for the brunette?

heh heh...
 

Blenderboy looks scared. In that, "she's way more experienced than me... I hope she doesn't notice" kind of way.

The at-perfect-90 degree-angle-ear-thing doesn't help either. Oh... it's Bat Boy all grown up! I didn't recognize him for a minute there.
 

Put simply, he is one of the ugliest-assembled pieces of fashion shit seen on this site. What's worse, the plaid seams on his pants don't match either.

However, his geometric hair is in keeping with the geometry of giant plaids, even if the hair is triangles and the plaids are parallels and perpendiculars.

He is the color-douche version of soylent green.

She has the natural tits that droop just right (look at her right tit, esp) and the sultry smile of experienced hott, with fully-formed-female-features.

It's refreshing of DB1 to post so many sexy women lately, real women with real curves, not those pick-up sticks we so often see here.

In drawing parlance, she's one hot model with all the curves of Venus.
 

...goddamn that is one ugly outfit.

Thought I had something for a minute there. But ... ... Goddamn that is one ugly outfit.
 

She's built the way I like my country bacon: Big, thick, greasy and wrapped in a bikini.


Wait...
 

OMG its that master control computer from Tron
 

Between the train wreck on the right and the luscious hott on the left you have perfect hott/douche ratio that should not go unnoticed.

Oh, and I have the combination to that tiny lock on her bikini bottom. And no I won't share.
 

@Captain Bringdown, 11:21 AM
I totally agree! She's a super fox

@Anonymous, 12:00
They're not THAT perky. I see a natural, sexy droop that indicates softness and delicious jiggle!
 

@ Mr. White 11:57

*startled, looking up from lunch* Huh? what? Jumper cables? Oh, boy, you sure are gonna need an extra set of hands for this project. And from the looks of her a second pair of hands have plenty of places to go. I'm in on that. I may not have the luscious curves of Thunderella here, but I'm skilled and nimble and I look cute then I'm tucked between another girl's ginormous tatas. I am donning my gloves at once!
 

i'd buuter her up & rotate her on my spit... on he I wouldn't waste spit!
 

That hott is super sexy, and it's not like being thick is a bad thing but I wouldn't call this girl thick. She's more hourglass-y than most of the skinny rails on this site but you can see her ribs for chrissakes. Anyway, yum.

- Touche, Douche
 

Vanilla Ice's latest makeover.
 

"thick"? "fat"? what are you people gay? she is HOT