Wow, if I see one more pic of these two posing, I may kill myself.
 

I would gnaw that shoulder like a raccoon gnawing of it's leg to get out of a trap next to a Jeff Foxworthy record on repeat. Who would set such a cruel, cruel trap? I would. That's who.
 

Isn't he just a bitchy, bitchy tease!
 

As for Leah, to put it in the vernacular, "I'd tear that shit up!"

Of course if my wife happens to visit this site I'm a dead man...
 

Wow, he's definitely gay. No straight man would pose like that. Which makes me wonder if she's a Brazilian ladyboy.
 

So that's where they're keeping Charles Manson these days...in some tool's right bicep.
 

Is that Jesus or Lyle Alzado nancy boy's shoulder?
 

And those are mighty spiffy espadrilles he/she's wearing.
 

Does the chain go to his cockring? Only George Takei knows!
 

@ doucheintheheartoftexas @3:24

I believe that is a very fruity looking Bob Marley, mon.
 

@billdouchiest @3:31:

I blew the sheriff, but I did not blow the deputy?
 

Why do I feel like the other end of that chain is attached to a pickle-sized toddler shoe that got stuck up his ass after a literal ass kicking from the little girl he stole his manscara from? And that he makes the hott give it an aggressive, if violent, tug every time he wants to get off.... Why?
 

I don't know why, but this right here is a landmark of the site.
 

That picture wants me to drop my pants and flex my cock.
 

Leia is all kinds of nice.
 

I've definitely got this hott marked on my short list for the hottest hott, come this years douchies.

Come to think of it, I would come in this hott's tooshy.

Haiku:

She makes me shudder
A tent grows 'ponst tender loins
I'd pee in her butt.


To put it in a rather comely way.
 

Looks nothing like him. Maybe 5 years ago.
 

You're all wrong: that's The Highlander on his shoulder.

ANGUS MACCLOUD OF THE CLAN MACCLOUD!!!

Also could be Kip Winger.
 

I actually prefer him with the bleached tips and Aryan attitude. Here' he's just another body-builder showing off his meat.

And by meat I mean her tender vittles next to his tatted picnic roast and arm steak, which he is serving up instead of the usual Easter ham this year.
 

ya know how we know he's gay?
Cuz he's wearing espadrilles and it's not 1984.

ya know how we know he's gay?
His hands have gone into his natural "easing the dick in" position.

ya know how we know he's gay?
Cuz he's facing away from the hott.

ya know how we know he's gay?
His lower back tattoo says "Have a cock and a smile."
 

I hate this Crosshair McJohnson guy.

I don't think that is the same Leia girl from the other pictures. This one has much smaller boobies, and is less alluring.

I just used the word alluring.
 

Hmm, I kinda thought his tat looked like Lorenzo Lamas, but what do I know?

When I first looked at this pic, my only thought was, "Geez, can this guy even see a camera and not instantly pose?"
 

Due to the recent influx of newbies to this site. I thought I’d take a brief moment to explain, for those who may be wondering, who Samürai Scrøte is. The following is an ad he placed on Craigslist back in 1927:

I am: A figment of the imagination of a senile ficus plant in the possession of a chronic masturbator, tall and boneless, black-eyed, a serial person who rips off the faces of other people and slaps them silly with them, an armchair anesthesiologist, a wheelchair wiccan, a Segway Superman, sensitive, with coagulated milk for feet and centipedes for toes, an avid reader, an outdoorsman with sixteen assholes, each one inside of the previous one.

You are: a virgin who has been holding the world hostage for months by threatening to drink copiously and snort cocaine from the President’s penis while pregnant with a future messiah, stout, with crooked teeth and a bellybutton with “self destruct” written on it, no lips, breasts that scream bloody murder in a false falsetto when squeezed, a winning smile, dark auburn hair crawling with an army of lice hell-bent on Islamic jihad.

We will enjoy: long walks on beaches during sunsets to find a beached whale with oversized genitals to mutilate, integration of rational expressions by trigonometric substitution, Monopoly, going to the supermarket and mocking the grapefruit, the throes of existentialist ennui, clove cigarettes, inciting a worldwide genocide of people who can touch their noses with their tongues and also that dick with the mustache who works in the coffee shop.

Contact Information: I’ll find you.



Now, back to your regularly scheduled HCwDB programming.
 

His jesus bicep looks like it could smite me.
 

@Crucial
Newbies have over 9000 posts to get through until they can understand the magnitude of Sam Scrote. Fortunately, Sam Scrote has all the time in the world.
 

get some furniture & artwork you shiveled nutz roidbag turdslurpin' pile o'poo!
 

you, Leia, come hither & I'll baste you with glaze like a honey baked ham!
 

Idiots !!


That's not Jesus on his shoulder , that's Country Dick Montana


Truth be told, he was conceived when his mother was gang raped by a group of ill mannered, smelly, crotch-rotted Vatos at a Beat Farmers concert at the "L'il Whore's Breath Tavern" in Terminous , Ca in 1984.

The Country Dick tattoo is an homage to the lie his mamma told him when he was growing up a la Tim McGraw/Tug McGraw, Suzan Lewis/Jerry Lewis, and Liv Tyler/Steven Tyler to shield him from scorn. She wistfully told him of a true romance with Dick as she frosted Crosshair's hair, painted his nails and scrubbed his ever-itchy brown eye when he was a boy.


Also, the sight of leather and denim motorcycle adornments create an inexplicable tingling in his taint that to this day he can't explain...
 

That's better than a picnic ham roast, Creature...be sure to include the cloves before baking.
 

Waxed eyebrows AND a wallet chain with said attached wallet in the FRONT pocket?
She must be experiencing Stockholm syndrome. No one else could stand that close to him and look that happy.
 

@ Vin D

Country Dick.... heh heh... was Mojo Nixon in on that G R?
 

@Vin

I liked your scenario, but I think Crosshair's way to douchey to have Country Dick on his arm. Unless no one explained who the Beat Farmers were, and he just liked the sound of having "Country Dick" on his arm....
 

Congratulations, you ginormous tool!!
 

...she is SO delicious! These guys are poster children for HCwDB...
 

I love how this dickwad is trying to look casual, yet he's flexing at the same time

Is he wearing espadrilles??

I think that's Ice-T on his bicep, not Jesus
 

@ Crucial 4:52

That is the best thing that has e'er been written on this site.

You had me at 16 assholes.*


*if only I had a dollar every time I heard that line.


I'd have $2,347.23
 

You guys are all wrong. He is declaring his homosexual man lust for "Sawyer" from Lost...
 

This chump can't hold my Hall of Scrote jockstrap!
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

Crosshair and Color Splash's David Bromstad...separated at birth.

Yes, I know how gay that reference is. But I love HGTV, dammit. If I ever get a house, I'm totally putting in crown molding and wainscoting in my formal sitting room.
 

Also, Leia is totally getting destroyed by my cock.
 

He's totally had a nose job and cheek implants since this pic was taken...
 

Wow. I can't believe CMJ is such a George Clinton fan. He's looking a little to big for his Bowflex.
 

At first my schtick was really funny, but now it's just lame.
 

My violent poo makes my pus bag sing:

"fly me to the poo!
Eat some pussy goo!
All is well in hell
and it's all I live for
Is the note on my door
saying PLEASE BE MINE
so I can poo on you
and you can poo on me"

And the french toast cops an attitude in the snickersnack realm of samurai scrote! It drops its pants and sings the song of Poo!

Fly me to the poo!!!
 

Plinky = Fly Teeth?
Plinky = Spell Nazi?
Plinky = Pfah?
Plinky = Anons?




I know, I know, I am an asshole.
 

@ Observation Specialist-your shtick is quite funny and should continue.

Leia looks like she should eat a few more chicken fried steaks. With extra gravy.

Crosshair on the other hand is chafe gravy. You know that poo that comes not long after eating the 4.99 Lam Bo china buffet.
 

he's so pretty!
 

I am ashamed at myself for missing this weeks vote, although I am happy to see the results of Crosshairs victory, yet horrified at his celebration picture... and really every other picture of him flexing his arms in vain trying to sell his image of " Im straight", even though he spends more time plucking his eyebrows and yelling compliments at himself in the mirror then spending his time with his tasty Leia sunday that is just melting away into the douchery of Crosshair McJohnson. What a shame, what a waste, what an ass.

Please end it all, the red button is right there, just push it someone...
 

if there's any pic today that deserves a limerick, it's this one.

so here's a limerick.

those curves allow her to bend matter at will.
every change of contour can topple a hill.
too bad she cannot render
this roid-ed gender bender
into a pool of unidentifiable chemical spill.
 

Hotto Subito ! I request the sanctification of Leia in the Hall of Hott. She makes my day every time. However, Crosshair is poo. Let him die.
 

This confirms his doucheousness as well as her advanced case of Cameron Diaz disease (i.e., yeah, it's cute for a week, but she won't age well and now it's annoying as hell) in other words a stealth bleeth.
 

Oh, and I bow before Crucial Head @ 4:52
 

Mr. White is Flyteeth.
 

One economic downturn and this guy will be sucking cocks for change behind Jiffy Lube. Oh, wait... nevermind.
 

For some odd reason, if DB1 is serious that Crosshair and Leia really did thank us, and they get the joke, and that it's possible, they're really NOT that bad as people go, I feel bad for casting my vote for them.... or that's the morning scotch talking.
 

Not serious at all about Crosshair and Leia, it's just a pensive pic of them that was submitted recently, taken in an apartment with three light switches.

- management
 

Does he have down syndrome?
 

In this "dress-down" pic Dickhair looks like a chick in the morning before she gets her makeup on.
 

i want to eat her toilet paper
 

Not serious at all about Crosshair and Leia, it's just a pensive pic of them that was submitted recently, taken in an apartment with three light switches.

yeah - one switch to the cheepy overhead lamp from IKEA and the other two connected to the two dimbulbs in the picture.

Leia is hott, but she doesn't strike me as much of a rocket scientist.

Which reminds me - where's chupacabra gone off to? I miss her.
 

Is that a tatoo of Sawyer from "Lost" ???
 

@ANBON 1:30

I"M MY OWN PERSON< FAGAOTH!
 

@anon 8:57

likewise^





fuckface.
 

@ Crucial: Priceless, too bad it was before I finished my coffee. I'll enjoy that little gem again later.

I think his tattoo reflects his guy love for porn actor Evan Stone. I'll toss that one out there.

I wish I would have gone to high school with this tool so I'd know what he looked like before the steroids.

Then I wish that I'd run into him randomly on the street, and he'd be all like "Hey remember me? The kid that wouldn't shower at school because I didn't want everyone to know I was a hermaphrodite, but then I got pantsed at homecoming and everyone found out anyway?" And I'd be all like, "Oh, umm, yeah, how's it going?" And then I'd walk away and laugh.
 

if it means a hott like that, I just might have to douche-up
 

@ Gasworks

See below re: The "I'm Getting Some" Defense.
 

Is that Adriana Sage?
 

Motion to place Leia in Hall of Hott!
 

This may seem obvious, but who does this? You're alone is some shitty-ass loft maybe or in front of a stairway and wall you don't even have the money to put up a goddamn picture or maybe Mom's been tossed out by the landlord... and, what, your friend has a camera and decides, hey, let's douche it up and take a picture? To what end? I mean, what's the conversation BEFORE the picture is snapped?

Help anyone?
 

It's not Jesus, it's not metrosexual Bob Marley, it's not that one country music star someone mentioned, IT'S HIMSELF. Dr. McJohnson got a tattoo of himself on his shoulder. That's why this picture was taken. Crosshairs' friend said, "Hey Douchescrote, you and hot-ass Leia should display the tattoos of yourselves you got on your shoulders." It's just that Leia is so skinny her tattoo of herself can't be seen from this distance. And that's not a bad thing.
 

Why did he get Marlon Brando in Viva Zapata! permanently engraved on his person?

I mean, great actor--just not his best work...
 

Even Jesus thinks he's an asshole. He needs to put the guyliner back on to remember which team he plays for. When something that hott is willing to pose with you, the next picture should be of clothes flying off. What a cockmuncher!

Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
 

I would get a tattoo of Sawyer from Lost. On the face of another dude. And then I'd have sex with the dude and pretend it was Sawyer from Lost. 'Cause I've had sex with that dude in my mind a LOT. Time to quit playing.

However, I'm thinking Crosshair's inky ode is to Dog The Bounty Hunter. They go to the same personal trainer, it seems. And by personal trainer I mean illegal steroid pusher.
 

Even an oversized "Choose Life" t-shirt couldn't up the gay factor on this brawny twink. He has to keep his hands there because the butt plug keeps slipping out. Dammit!
 

You can take down my espadrilles and pound my supple butthole if you ask me right! I just waxed it

By the way, I'm not wearing socks!
 

Back in the day, the whole cross/dagger thing on the forearm meant that you were a heroin addict. Back when tats meant something.
 

What a douche pose, and the tatoo looks like it's leaking from his bicep.
 

After posing for the camera, the tattooed oily bohunk drove to the State Pen for a conjugal visit with his 6'10" tall love monkey named "Bull," who is doing a dime for aggravated assault on the entire former 1980 East German Women's Olympic Team.
 

isn's she mocking his attempt at a side tricep pose? of course he has to leave his pants on for god and all of us know monday, thursday and saturday are chest day in the gym for the chicken-leg scroat
 

Little Bo Tricep.
 

Is that lip gloss and eye liner?