Crosshair rocks out with his cock.....in his hand (but never in hers).

Fucking guyliner.....
 

I'm sorry dude. You simply are NOT allowed to scowl like that while wearing mascara and feathering your hair. You just can't.
 

He reminds me of a gay, taller Billy Idol.
 

Rocks the cock, maybe.
 

i'm a big fan of the sword tatt on the arm.
 

i want to go skiing on those slopes.

and then drink hot chocolate naked warmed only by the fire in her eyes.

eyes i will quickly fill with my whipped cream.
 

She's got the kind of eyes that make me want to go home and smear peanut butter all over myself and wait for the mail man to come to the door!
 

He is steaming poo, she is his female counterpoint. Douchey soulmates. Please don't piss in the gene pool.
 

Looks like that guy standing behind Crosshair is gonna walk up and cold cock him.

And then take the girl....
 

He reminds me of the ThunderCats.

HHooooo!!!

Hmmm- would the ThunderCats be douches by today's standards? Guyliner is acceptable if you are half feline??

They were rather Orange as I recall...
 

http://www.retrojunk.com/img/tv_gallery/8_555843.jpg
 

Bleethe?

http://www.retrojunk.com/img/tv_gallery/8_866470.jpg
 

His fingernails look pretty girlie.

Her eyes make me want to have sex.

Usually guys who wear that type of wristwatch have small penises.
 

I would sooner destroy a stained glass window than smudge his guyliner....

(to the girl) My name is Indigo Mantoia you're killing your father, prepare to die.....

What about the D-O-U-S's? Douches of Unusual Size? They don't exist.

Pooooo! Poooo! Poooo! Princess Buttercup!

So all this time it was your cup that was roofied. "They were both roofied," the douche replied.


Die a bloody death from iocane powder you douche....
 

So this is what it looks like when Thunderdome goes ghey.
 

feral alcohol syndrome? is that like dwarf rabies?

Crosshair may be the most rage inspiring clown ever posted on this site
 

He is like He-man's alter ego, Prince Adam
 

Frosted hair.
Mascara.
Lame tats.
Plucked eyebrows.
Kissy face.
Nail Polish.

This guy would look pretty good in my riflescope.

His girlfriend MUST have herpes.
 

..but she can be my She-ra anytime
 

Her eyes beg me to whisper sweet-nothings in her tailpipe.

His medieval tat, goth nails, juiced physique, Swiss Army watch, WWE shirt, faux-punk piercings, Dolph Lundgren-face, pouty lips and WHAM! hair are such a fucking anachronism -- just rigoddamdiculously ambiguous -- that I'm too confused to comment on this one, really . . . but I would surely smack him. Although he could kick my ass, his guyliner tells me he really doesn't have it in him and would rather kiss me and make up than trample me. And that might be alright if it got closer to her tailpipe.
 

DB1,

'feral alcohol syndrome'?

like Wild Turkey?
 

"Hey dude, you getting any action this weekend?"

"Nah man, my girl's got the grumpy lumps!"
 

If I had a video of this guy being mauled by a pack of stray pitbulls I'd put it on a loop and watch that shit all day long.

I know what could get that smug, smartass look off of his face... a machete.

- Douchey Smurf
 

His inner dialogue is the sound of a fresh Alka Selzter dropped in a glass of water.

He represents every trendy, lemming-like follower behavior available to the modern young man. His generation is doomed. Watch for a Johnny Knoxville/Jesse G. James ticket presidential election landslide in 2028.

Fucking doomed, I say.... luckily, I'll be toothless and living in an old folks' home when it happens, obliviously drooling terbacky juice down the front of my hospital gown.
 

I would like to write music on her shirt using my loin fruit as ink.
 

plz stop stealing mcjohnsons glove puppets, it fucking wiggs him out for days.
 

Buffalo Bill?
 

I would give five hundred drinking horns of Kvas, and a packet of pork scratchings for five minutes with the cleft limbs and cleavagings of the Norwegian skald, Bragi Boddason, who once serenaded Freyr in Valhalla during the heathen celebration of the cleansing of Odin's taint, just to waft the distant odor of a small lump of cheese that once touched McJohnson's maiden's shadow as she walked by.

'cause I'm a poet like that.
 

Well I realize
that I've been hypnotized
I love your Gypsy Eyes . . .

- Jimi Hendrix
 

@ James Van Der Douche 1:52
"NEVER bet a DOUCHEBAG when BLEETH is on the line! AH HA HA HA AH HA HA HA AH HA HA--" (Thud)

Jeebus. He has more makeup on than I do.

And I would take great pleasure in punching through each and every layer of it, until I at last hit skin.
 

One more for ya, James Van--

MO: "To the pain means the first thing you lose is your feet at the Jordans. then your hands at the mandanas. Next your pierced nose."

CHMJ: "And then my tongue, I suppose, I humped your leg too quickly the last time, a mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight."

MO: "I wasn't finished! The next thing you'll lose is your guylined left eye, and then your right."

CHMJ: "And then my pierced ears, I understand, let's get on with it."

MO: "WRONG! Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every Hott at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every Bleeth that weeps at your approach, every 'Bag who cries out, 'Whoa, Bra!! What is that thing!' Will echo in your perfect ears. That is what 'to the pain' means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in blue-ball misery for-evah!"


I really hope no one beat me to that while I was tryping.
 

Hey I just noticed i have the same watch as this douche. my parents know that I like to wear lots of different watches (Not at the same time) they always buy cheap watches for me when they travel or for bdays and xmas. thats a fuckin swiss army watch. Hey tool, wearing what is essential a sports watch isn't cool. but if you're into it i've got an old Casio G-Shock with a neon yellow rubberized face protector i'll sell to you for $250. The G stands for gucci, i swear.
 

oh medusa....i believe you were typing...not tryping. but that is amazingly beautiful that you remembered that exchange word for word.
 

I think my butthole had a stroke. its only gaped on one side
 

@ Medusa

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

If you wrote it from memory, add 11 more H's and 12 more A's to the above.

Like how you added the AH's with the HA's for authenticity, though if memory serves it's: Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (breath) Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (breath) Ah ha ha haa (thud)
 

He has an egg-dick
 

Fuck you, Crosshair. I wanna punch this guy. Then I wanna punch him a one-way ticket to the Hall of Scrote.

Nice nail polish, you pathetic fuck. Fuck you.
 

Someone needs to stab him in the neck with a hot soldering iron.
 

Is he a professional douchebag? I know he's wearing a wrestler's shirt, but he really looks as though he's a semi-pro spandex clad choreographed crotch grabber for the WWE.
 

As soon as this picture was taken, he saw Daniel-san walk by dressed as a shower, took his radio, and kicked his ass...again.

Then he went to UW-M and joined the dive team...
 

Mistoo Cwosshawoo shez wiw you be my FWEND?
 

Who likes to rock, rock, rock the cock?

CMcJ: I rock the cock, rock, rock, the cock!
 

OMIGOD, DB1, he is an Aryan dreamboat. He is pure Wagnerian operadouche: Tristan, Lohengrin.
IF he could sing.

If he clogged, he'd be the star of Riverdance. He could even be the silent centerpiece of a Celtic Women show.

He has a Peter Martins essence that would have bowled over Balanchine. IF he could dance.

He'd be steaming up the halls of music school and even making the opera conductors drool in anticipation of wardrobe fashioning him capes and armor, and then wondering if he could TAKE DIRECTION.

Instead of GIVING IT to every poor dunce who gets in his way. Such as these horned fingers demonstrate. With the eaten off short tips.

He outshines the Hott in his own beauty, and she glares in recognition of this rare usurpation of her narcissistic role. She is but a pretty face in a taut black striped halter-top next to his half-man, half-god presence in Valhalla.
 

Oops, I forgot: he is the ultimate Wagnerian Siegfried, visually, that is.

Like Elizabeth Taylor in the movie "Cleopatra," once she began to wear that crazy eye-makeup, she never quit wearing it, for years on end. She ruined a natural beauty with the ghastly eyeliner, shadow and fake lashes.

So too, doth operadouche and theatherdouche. Once they get the hang of costume and makeup, they hang with it. It's a 24/7 obsession. See and be seen in the Max Factor. The wardrobe is the variable here, but the hair and the makeup are the mainstays.

Tooo bad he shows no evidence of REAL TALENT.
 

Crosshairs is this year's Fish Slap.


Fuck both of them.
 

I see HoS Crosshair's future.
 

Someone really needs to strap him into "The Machine" and take it up to 50.
 

I said it before... reminds me of prince charming from Shrek...


.. not a good thing.
 

Get her a lifetime membership to the HALL OF HOTT
 

"You probably don't think that I can force this towel down your throat. But trust me, I can. All the way. Except I'd hold onto this one little bit at the end. When your stomach starts to digest it, I pull it out. Taking your stomach lining with it. For most people it would take about a week to die. It's very painful."

and she would watch and it would get her all slippery but I would just put her in a sleeper hold and say "don't fight it bitch. No way are you giving me the clap."
 

if crosshair is not in the weekly, then this site has merely been reduced to a sideshow.

guy-liner: check
nail polish: check
wrist bling: check
douche fro overwhelmed with product: check
douchey tatoo readily apparent: check
steroids: check
pouty face: check
couture tee, two sizes too small, promoting his inner aggression: check
hand gesture: check
shaven arms: check
mail order bride hott with bidirectional implants acquired at discount from a southeast asian country tbd: check
 

Lulu - very nice crossover reference there...LOL. Good references all around in this thread...I just hate the object of the ridicule...and by hate, I mean...well, HATE.
 

Many years ago, way before the Affliction shirts promoting the Douche Laden UFC, weight lifters (they weren't all gay back then) used to wear shirts saying "The Strongest Shall Survive" - Darwin.

Nowhere in the "Origin of Species" will you find that quote. According to Herbert Spencer it is more along the lines of "The adaptable will survive".

Somewhere in Taoism is says "Soft Grass can withstand a mighty wind by bending while an Oak Tree will snap"

This assimilation of Rock Star/Pro Wrestler/UFC/Drag Queen leaves us no choice but to shoot them.

Most hate to travel these days because of the TSA nightmare. These ass pirates hate to travel because they will deflate in 2 days without a gym.

What inspires these UFC groupies are the Greek Statues of Wrestlers grabbing each others cocks along with Jezebel's makeup.
 

I think the stamp on his hand reads "REJECT" but I can't tell for certain.

Nice nail polish, cockboy!
 

crossy mcJJ has spent a lot more time in front of the mirror during this wacky life than i have.

and that skank will do almost anything for coke, i promise.
 

Yeah this is just one of those guys I have to mock from a safe distance, lest HULK SMASH.
 

Crosshair McJohnson Says "I Cock"

(Just had to fix that title.)
 

I hate to tell you this, but....painting your nails, wearing eye-liner and gelling up your hair is not metal.
 

OMG...LOL I would NEVER Fu** a guy like this (total tool) But I'd deff. do her ;) *evil grin*
 

All I can say is EW. How can anyone be dumb enough to find that thing attractive? Eyeliner on dudes is the faggiest most stupid looking shit I've ever seen. what a fucking poser with the fucking black nail polish. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA that must be the stupid emo girl trying to escape within that steroid pumped body.
Nice try loser.
 

Dispair...

Datpair...

pretty much all the same after surgery...