Saturday, May 09, 2009
HCwDB: The Show
Exciting news to announce, fellow 'bag hunters, huntresses, hotts and hott appreciators.
Starting in June on MTV, Hot Chicks with Douchebags is going televisual.
Yes your humble narrator has been hard at work for the past year taking the HCwDB Experience to the next proverbial level. I created a reality show pitch inspired by the website, MTV bought it, and we shot the pilot last Fall.
With a pick up in January, we are now in full-on production to take our battle of the scrote to the next level.
As "Douchebag" remains titularly challenging, the show is called Is She Really Going Out With Him?, and yes, we've updated the classic Joe Jackson song in all its goodness.
As a creator and Executive Producer of the show, I can guarantee that the high traditions of HCwDB will continue in the reality TV format. I'm very happy with how it's turning out, and think both long time fans as well as new viewers will dig it.
There will be more about this project shortly, but MTV was nice enough to let me announce it here first. Look for the trailer, which starts airing on MTV today.
On another note, there will be be an announcement about the book-to-film, with yours truly writing the script, in the next few months as well. Stay tuned as year #3 of the HCwDB experience takes things to the next level of global domination and cultural shift.
Playa playa.
Now back to your daily mocking...
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 8:56 AM 
Comments:
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In the HCwDB movie, can I play Thursday-May-07-2009's ass? Believe me, I've done the requisite character studies.
Also, I think I'd make a good Crimson Ted.
Also, I think I'd make a good Crimson Ted.
I say congrats, DB1...
But still a small part of me feels that the irony will be totally lost on 13 yr. old douches and bleeths in training who look to MTV for notions of cool packaged in the most consumer-friendly and superficial manner.
Reminds me when Ice Cube called out MC Hammer in "be true the game" and said:
You was hardcore hip-hop
Now look at yourself, boy you done flip-flopped
Giving our music away to the mainstream
Don't you know they ain't down with the team
They just sent they boss over
Put a bug in your ear and now you crossed over
On MTV but they don't care
They'll have a new nigga next year
Now Ice Cube is making G-rated films that really suck.
Well, I hope you stay true to the game, and somehow stay as the Baghunter equivalent of "Doughboy".
Again, Best of luck, and i do have the last glimmer of hope in MTV and their wise decision.
But still a small part of me feels that the irony will be totally lost on 13 yr. old douches and bleeths in training who look to MTV for notions of cool packaged in the most consumer-friendly and superficial manner.
Reminds me when Ice Cube called out MC Hammer in "be true the game" and said:
You was hardcore hip-hop
Now look at yourself, boy you done flip-flopped
Giving our music away to the mainstream
Don't you know they ain't down with the team
They just sent they boss over
Put a bug in your ear and now you crossed over
On MTV but they don't care
They'll have a new nigga next year
Now Ice Cube is making G-rated films that really suck.
Well, I hope you stay true to the game, and somehow stay as the Baghunter equivalent of "Doughboy".
Again, Best of luck, and i do have the last glimmer of hope in MTV and their wise decision.
# posted by 
: 9:05 AM
: 9:05 AM
DB1, a suggestion.....
"Guest Hottie" - Elizabeth Banks
Now, I don't really know how you'd incorporate her into the show regularly, but an appearance on the first show (with a repeat of her Tonight Show appearance) seems in order. Maybe that will help explain why douchebags suck hairy donkey balls and why hotts should stop catering to them.
"Guest Hottie" - Elizabeth Banks
Now, I don't really know how you'd incorporate her into the show regularly, but an appearance on the first show (with a repeat of her Tonight Show appearance) seems in order. Maybe that will help explain why douchebags suck hairy donkey balls and why hotts should stop catering to them.
Congrats, man! Good luck! Remember to regularly treat yourself to massages. Show running is a brutal experience, especially while making a movie! All the best.
# posted by : 9:15 AM
: 9:15 AM
Well I'll be damned...maybe the revolution WILL be televised after all. Congratulations.
I don't know if you're into casting yet for the movie but I know this Arthur Kade dude that's ready to blow up.
I made a movie one time but Ms. Sock made me erase it because she was afraid I'd post it on the Interwebs. Better luck with your joint, DB1.
I don't know if you're into casting yet for the movie but I know this Arthur Kade dude that's ready to blow up.
I made a movie one time but Ms. Sock made me erase it because she was afraid I'd post it on the Interwebs. Better luck with your joint, DB1.
So our comments make the website ultra-popular, yet you will be the one profiting off our contributions? What a douchebag you are, DB1. That being said, I would like to see some of the regulars as "field reporters" on segments.
"We now take you to our correspondent, Flyteeth, who has been doing some research in the 'Jersey area."
"JERTHEE THUCKTH ARTHUR KADETH BALLTHACK, DB1."
"We now take you to our correspondent, Flyteeth, who has been doing some research in the 'Jersey area."
"JERTHEE THUCKTH ARTHUR KADETH BALLTHACK, DB1."
And to the tiresome and inevitable legions of trolls that will start yelling "sell out", be assured that none of them would accept a chance to cash in on 2 years of hard work when weighed against their principles.
And by "none of them" I mean "all of them".
And by "hard work" I mean "posting pictures periodically between desperate bouts of bottom-shelf binge drinking".
And by "none of them" I mean "all of them".
And by "hard work" I mean "posting pictures periodically between desperate bouts of bottom-shelf binge drinking".
You can't put an esoteric, ironic, smartass show about douchebags ON the network filled with douchebags... MTV is a fucking cesspool. You can do better than that.
Shame on you.
Shame on you.
I'm jealous because my pitch to MTV failed.
I had this idea where bands would shoot little movies to accompany their new songs; "music videos", if you will.
They said it didn't fit their business model..
I had this idea where bands would shoot little movies to accompany their new songs; "music videos", if you will.
They said it didn't fit their business model..
# posted by : 9:31 AM
: 9:31 AM
this is you at your finest db1.
im in betwixt the wrongest bootycall and stuck on oasis and fuck... you. dude.
anon
im in betwixt the wrongest bootycall and stuck on oasis and fuck... you. dude.
anon
# posted by : 9:35 AM
: 9:35 AM
How wonderful if this could bring about a pivotal change in women's taste in men in the United States! Embarrass the shit out of them for liking douchebags - perhaps to the point of NO LONGER liking douchebags? Should I hold my breath?
# posted by : 9:43 AM
: 9:43 AM
The only problem I see here is MTV feeling threatened that their regular viewers (in other words, 'baglings) will get offended and start turning off the TV in droves.
And then the accompanying message board will be filled with comments such as "OMG i new this guy wuz just a jelous h8r n h8s these girlz 4 datin those hott guys lolllol~!^& laterz"
Then the MTV suits will try to change the direction of the show to stem that tide.....which will naturally compromise the whole idea.
But what I hope happens is that young 'baglings will see the problems of their life choices - perhaps learning, for instance, the derivation of the low slung pants fad - and see that practicing douchebaggery is no way to go through life. Hey, I can dream, right?
Whatever the case, DB1, best of luck on running what I hope to be a successful enterprise. I certainly hope those who may have become rather proprietary about this site don't turn away without giving things a chance to work. It may be the first "reality" show worth watching.
And then the accompanying message board will be filled with comments such as "OMG i new this guy wuz just a jelous h8r n h8s these girlz 4 datin those hott guys lolllol~!^& laterz"
Then the MTV suits will try to change the direction of the show to stem that tide.....which will naturally compromise the whole idea.
But what I hope happens is that young 'baglings will see the problems of their life choices - perhaps learning, for instance, the derivation of the low slung pants fad - and see that practicing douchebaggery is no way to go through life. Hey, I can dream, right?
Whatever the case, DB1, best of luck on running what I hope to be a successful enterprise. I certainly hope those who may have become rather proprietary about this site don't turn away without giving things a chance to work. It may be the first "reality" show worth watching.
Oh man, that kicks so much ass db1, I'm speechless. If you want anything from us locals, you let me know.
So you don't think that the show will be canceled when all the douchebags start complaining that they are getting defamed? MTV is quite the money pinata.
Well unless their ego is so big that don't know what is actually happening (which is a real possibility).
Well unless their ego is so big that don't know what is actually happening (which is a real possibility).
# posted by : 9:50 AM
: 9:50 AM
This is one show that is already "Axe'd" even before is started...
...sorry bad joke...
....Mazel tov!....
...sorry bad joke...
....Mazel tov!....
Congrats DB1! Somewhere at some point we've got to see the classic DBs on here so we can watch them interact with the Hotts: Fung(probably has a lisp), Gator(English lisp), Donkey Douche(genital warts in his mouth), Joey Porche(Guido speak). I would religiously mock these ass clowns if they would have the nads to be on the show.
Congrats DB1. I've been enjoying your site for a couple years now and it doesn't get old because of your humor. Lots of luck.
# posted by : 10:01 AM
: 10:01 AM
so do regs get bids at being part of the show? i think darksock, bvg, and crucial should be head writers. pfah could have a position with art/set design or whatever that bald bastard does. mr. white can be in charge of, uh, port o potties. and i will just hang out in the trailer and drink. thats what i bring to the table.
seriously though, congrats jay. long time comin.
seriously though, congrats jay. long time comin.
May the new show help you score even more boobie hottie suckle thigh, along with a few librarian hotts for the win.
# posted by : 10:06 AM
: 10:06 AM
Congratulations.
If you don't finally give Mr White and Medusa's Playpen at least five minutes a week then I'd run at the sight of a white van for a little while.
It will be interesting to see how this turns out - I hope you can keep control and not be mugged by irono-bags trying to hide their douchiness by coming on your show and laughing at other douches. Just a fucking shame Pumpy couldn't be here to be the reporter on the street.
If you don't finally give Mr White and Medusa's Playpen at least five minutes a week then I'd run at the sight of a white van for a little while.
It will be interesting to see how this turns out - I hope you can keep control and not be mugged by irono-bags trying to hide their douchiness by coming on your show and laughing at other douches. Just a fucking shame Pumpy couldn't be here to be the reporter on the street.
# posted by : 10:28 AM
: 10:28 AM
Thanks fellow peeps eating peeps-
The 'bags are pure, delusional, and the hotts are hott. It's not always easy, but I'm doing my best to keep the best things of the site in the show.
Alls I ask is to give it a shot. I think you'll enjoy the douchewankery on display.
- management
The 'bags are pure, delusional, and the hotts are hott. It's not always easy, but I'm doing my best to keep the best things of the site in the show.
Alls I ask is to give it a shot. I think you'll enjoy the douchewankery on display.
- management
I'm so happy for you!
And ragingly jealous (if you're like me, the jealously in others is more satisfying).
Oh, and if in the movie there is a wise-cracking female photographer named Lulu or Lolo or Fifi or anything like that who also fancies bookshelf wallpaper, I'm totally suing.
And ragingly jealous (if you're like me, the jealously in others is more satisfying).
Oh, and if in the movie there is a wise-cracking female photographer named Lulu or Lolo or Fifi or anything like that who also fancies bookshelf wallpaper, I'm totally suing.
@ Wheezer, 9:41...
"And then the accompanying message board will be filled with comments such as "OMG i new this guy wuz just a jelous h8r n h8s these girlz 4 datin those hott guys lolllol~!^& laterz"
My thoughts exactly. I imagine that the up and coming baglings will find some scrotific way in which to rationalize their shite behavior and appearance, despite having it roundly mocked in a front-page, worldwide format such as MTV. Congrats to DB1 on the sale...the movie should really be something to see;) Keep nailing those 'bags.
"And then the accompanying message board will be filled with comments such as "OMG i new this guy wuz just a jelous h8r n h8s these girlz 4 datin those hott guys lolllol~!^& laterz"
My thoughts exactly. I imagine that the up and coming baglings will find some scrotific way in which to rationalize their shite behavior and appearance, despite having it roundly mocked in a front-page, worldwide format such as MTV. Congrats to DB1 on the sale...the movie should really be something to see;) Keep nailing those 'bags.
Congratulations, db1, for parlaying the concept into a money making venture!
I love this country, I love the interwebz, I love hot chicks, and I loathe douchebags.
I love this country, I love the interwebz, I love hot chicks, and I loathe douchebags.
# posted by : 10:50 AM
: 10:50 AM
Oh, and one more thing. I haven't watched the societal cesspool of MTV in many years (don't watch any TV shows, actually), and I'm not about to start now. Just make sure that this gets released on DVD sometime in the future. Shouldn't be too hard to ensure...I think they did something like 47 seasons of E.R., and nobody in their right mind would buy that, right? Right?
I hope it's not as scripted and phony as all the other reality shows on MTV. Do me a favor, don't put attention whore wannabe actors and actresses on your show who are just looking to break into the business.
# posted by : 10:52 AM
: 10:52 AM
Awesome. Too bad I don't have TV (not really). Congratulations on the success. Who knew mocking scrotebags could lead to such things? I've been doing it for years and all I got was this lousy. . . well let's be honest I'm not wearing a shirt.
As a blog, the HCwDB concept makes sense. It's low-commitment all around: readers look at it for 2 minutes a day, the writer spends an hour or two on each post, people spend 10 seconds sending random photos.
As a show/movie, it's just kind of pathetic. Many real live human beings--writers, producers, camera people, etc-- will spend significant chunks of their lives filming greasy dudes and the girls they date in an attempt to amuse a nation of couch potatoes.
Of course, the recuperation of cultural criticism is a fundamental aspect of the integrated spectacle, so none of this is really surprising. It's just boring.
As a show/movie, it's just kind of pathetic. Many real live human beings--writers, producers, camera people, etc-- will spend significant chunks of their lives filming greasy dudes and the girls they date in an attempt to amuse a nation of couch potatoes.
Of course, the recuperation of cultural criticism is a fundamental aspect of the integrated spectacle, so none of this is really surprising. It's just boring.
# posted by : 10:58 AM
: 10:58 AM
OMG!
I turned my tv to MTV hopeing to see the pre-view. Saw 10 'bags before the first comercial.
I turned my tv to MTV hopeing to see the pre-view. Saw 10 'bags before the first comercial.
# posted by : 11:01 AM
: 11:01 AM
Okay, I thought about it and I won't sue if I get to play the Lulu character AND the dark-haired guy from Muddle of Pudd is hired to play my boyfriend.
Still jealous.
Still jealous.
Will Chuggo "sing" the theam song?
Will the season finale be "Arthur Kade gets a beat down from some homeless guy."??
Will the season finale be "Arthur Kade gets a beat down from some homeless guy."??
# posted by : 11:09 AM
: 11:09 AM
it is this kind of energy and effort that can truly modify the undesirable behaviors we are surrounded by...nice work DB1.
sometimes it can be unnerving to have your own t.v. show. just remember, if you're tense and nervous, your douche will be tense and nervous also. you display leadership by projecting calm, assertive energy, and douches respond to energy.
i rehabilitate douches, i train hotts.
i am the douche whisperer.
sometimes it can be unnerving to have your own t.v. show. just remember, if you're tense and nervous, your douche will be tense and nervous also. you display leadership by projecting calm, assertive energy, and douches respond to energy.
i rehabilitate douches, i train hotts.
i am the douche whisperer.
Does anyone besides douchebags watch MTV? You do realize you are now part of the lineage which includes Carson Daly, Ashton Kutcher, Nick Lachey, Steve-O, and lord knows who else in the past five to six years, which is the last time I actually watched MTV. Website was cool, now mildly entertaining at times...I guess I can't blame you for selling out. Milk it for all it's worth and $ELL YOU $OUL :)
# posted by : 11:52 AM
: 11:52 AM
MTV Man...i really don't know what t osay, i just hope mtv doesn't fuck it up like they do everything else, but since you are executive producer i do have faith for right now.
# posted by : 11:53 AM
: 11:53 AM
Congrats on the show! Too bad they couldn't accept the name "Hot Chicks With Douchebags." Any idea what the movie title's gonna be?
DB1, if perchance you make scads of cash on this venture, and that girl who started it all by leaving you for a douche comes crawling back after all these years, be sure you take her out to a 5-star restaurant, take her back to your opulent new pad, and after some hot and heavy petting mount her ass from behind and PEE IN HER BUTT. Then donkey punch her in the skull plate.
For closure.
For The Children.
For closure.
For The Children.
My eyes are burning from running into "Tool Academy" on MTV.
This is our most desperate hour. Help us Douche Bag One. You're our only hope.
This is our most desperate hour. Help us Douche Bag One. You're our only hope.
I just wish Pfah, Plinky, Jailergrrl, that hott bicycle chick, Idaho Hott Potato, Elastic Snap Hole of the Love Bear, The Baggernaut and Pumpy had lived to see this. DAMN YOU HEROIN!
Wait, I think one of those were me.
Wait, I think one of those were me.
apologies for being a pedant here lulu, but as someone one here pointed out a while ago, you're actually envious, not jealous.
i haven't watched MTV since i left that particular demographic a long time ago, but props mr.db1 for getting it off the ground (and massive props if you get the movie into production).
it obviously won't be as 'potent' as the site, but i hope you manage to get it as close as poss.
best of luck, hope you enjoy the experience!
watch this...you're gonna love my nuts.
i haven't watched MTV since i left that particular demographic a long time ago, but props mr.db1 for getting it off the ground (and massive props if you get the movie into production).
it obviously won't be as 'potent' as the site, but i hope you manage to get it as close as poss.
best of luck, hope you enjoy the experience!
watch this...you're gonna love my nuts.
# posted by : 12:11 PM
: 12:11 PM
And while you have a programming exec's attention, could you pitch my idea for "The Ass Pear Channel"? In HD (Hard Dong)? And slo-mo? From Brazil? Starring Fenny?
Bedazzle and tattoo wear up the MTV logo for us... cuz I don't see that enough already.
I bet that Ed Hardy will try to be a corporate sponsor. If so... stab me in the eyes.
I bet that Ed Hardy will try to be a corporate sponsor. If so... stab me in the eyes.
while i am elated for you, DB1, on your successful business venture, my greatest fear remains that this site will become a stomping grounds for douchebags in an attempt to gain infamy or perhaps to peacock their douchebag status as supreme.
i view the hcwdb as a haven for intellectual, insightful, and creative narrative on the parasitic cultural spectacle that is the scrote. and i pray that you make an honest and good faith effort to keep the site a sanctuary for the meeting of the minds who view it the same.
let us not allow for the degradation of our philosophical conjecture, by giving way to the scrote otherwise the scrotes win. prevention of this cataclysmic implosion was in our charter!
i view the hcwdb as a haven for intellectual, insightful, and creative narrative on the parasitic cultural spectacle that is the scrote. and i pray that you make an honest and good faith effort to keep the site a sanctuary for the meeting of the minds who view it the same.
let us not allow for the degradation of our philosophical conjecture, by giving way to the scrote otherwise the scrotes win. prevention of this cataclysmic implosion was in our charter!
# posted by : 12:48 PM
: 12:48 PM
I have an episode idea:
How about an episode where 4 people have a contest to see who can masturbate the longest.
Or one where some guy jerks off with "Man Hands."
Or how about if some guy buys an expensive jacket and then cums in the sleeve.
Or two guys are caught jerking off in a parking garage.
It's like a show about nothig...except jerking off. I think it'd work.
How about an episode where 4 people have a contest to see who can masturbate the longest.
Or one where some guy jerks off with "Man Hands."
Or how about if some guy buys an expensive jacket and then cums in the sleeve.
Or two guys are caught jerking off in a parking garage.
It's like a show about nothig...except jerking off. I think it'd work.
The other executive producer?
Samurai Scrote
Congratulations! I'll drink a few liters of beer for you at the Hofbrauhaus
Samurai Scrote
Congratulations! I'll drink a few liters of beer for you at the Hofbrauhaus
fuk me darksock, inspired...asspear tv.
i'd be an avid subscriber.
that's french for masturbation.
i'd be an avid subscriber.
that's french for masturbation.
# posted by : 1:56 PM
: 1:56 PM
db1, can you find out if any of those super sweet 16 girls are legal yet? i'd prefer one who's dad is currently NOT under idictment if at all possible.
# posted by : 2:03 PM
: 2:03 PM
How many of the regular MTV guy viewers are going to watch the show and say "What? That guy looks cool to me." A fuckload.
Whats worse will be the girls that watch the show and say "Oh, he's cute."
Just kill me now.
Whats worse will be the girls that watch the show and say "Oh, he's cute."
Just kill me now.
DB1 FTW! Nice work, turning blogging about boobs and Douchebags into a money-making pop culture TV show on the M-Tee-Vee. That kind of slackassery can only be accomplished by someone truly great.
Now make sure there is some sweet sweet ass pear and lots of boobie suckle thigh hott on the show!
Now make sure there is some sweet sweet ass pear and lots of boobie suckle thigh hott on the show!
# posted by : 2:17 PM
: 2:17 PM
Dude, it's cool that you're gonna make a shit ton of cash and all, but this is the most depressing news I've gotten since my mom died.
No, wait, my mom's not dead, but I'm sure something very sad and depressing has happened to me, like when my dad went to prison for murdering my cousin.
No. I just made that up too. But I am sad. This is totally going to ruin it for me and the rest of the h8terz. Why must MTV kill everything I love? Like the radio star? Or Lindsay Lohan (18 year old boobies were straight mana from heaven before all the tanning & coke) Or my brain cells? You have surely made some poor Tibetan monk for your actions db1. I hope you're happy.
Can I get about $3.50?w
No, wait, my mom's not dead, but I'm sure something very sad and depressing has happened to me, like when my dad went to prison for murdering my cousin.
No. I just made that up too. But I am sad. This is totally going to ruin it for me and the rest of the h8terz. Why must MTV kill everything I love? Like the radio star? Or Lindsay Lohan (18 year old boobies were straight mana from heaven before all the tanning & coke) Or my brain cells? You have surely made some poor Tibetan monk for your actions db1. I hope you're happy.
Can I get about $3.50?w
Joining MTV is the most epic thing a douche can do...
you have sold out
and thats a douche move
im done following your site and will drop your book off at the nearest goodwill
good luck DB1
you have sold out
and thats a douche move
im done following your site and will drop your book off at the nearest goodwill
good luck DB1
# posted by : 2:44 PM
: 2:44 PM
DB1 = Hypocrite.
MTV has a 100% to douchebag ratio!!! If the show revolves around you bagging on every douche on that network...then genius! Otherwise, you're now the biggest douche of them all!
MTV has a 100% to douchebag ratio!!! If the show revolves around you bagging on every douche on that network...then genius! Otherwise, you're now the biggest douche of them all!
# posted by : 2:58 PM
: 2:58 PM
For great justice!
just don't sell out, db1... don't sell out... keep it real, man, keep it real.
are you keeping it real? good.
would be interesting to do an Ali G or Borat or Bruno type number on the dbs in some vox pop format. wink wink ha ha never mind.
- Jacques Douchida
just don't sell out, db1... don't sell out... keep it real, man, keep it real.
are you keeping it real? good.
would be interesting to do an Ali G or Borat or Bruno type number on the dbs in some vox pop format. wink wink ha ha never mind.
- Jacques Douchida
# posted by : 3:11 PM
: 3:11 PM
I figure i contributed about 1/10000 %, so by my guesstimate i owe you .05
Turdacious
Turdacious
# posted by : 3:14 PM
: 3:14 PM
Figured I'd take my lumps for the network, but all I have to say is give it a chance.
If you hate it, I'll personally buy you a Pibb Extra and cut it with some Night Train in a URC.
- management
If you hate it, I'll personally buy you a Pibb Extra and cut it with some Night Train in a URC.
- management
whuuuut? this is like putting a CGI Bill Hicks in a Pokemon commercial...
nah, just funnin ya DB1. Good luck!
nah, just funnin ya DB1. Good luck!
A reality show. On MTV. I'm sure it'll be awesome. All the 14-year-olds will love it.
# posted by : 3:57 PM
: 3:57 PM
I think it's awesome, dude! Now the snarkiness of this site can go to the masses! Congrats & remember the little people when you get wicked famous! :)
DB1
The Term selling out is bogus by anyone using it unless ure a fricken monk but then again even the Dalai Lama sold out.
So take your sorry ass and your bottle of night train and enjoy your new found possible wealth
Turdacious
The Term selling out is bogus by anyone using it unless ure a fricken monk but then again even the Dalai Lama sold out.
So take your sorry ass and your bottle of night train and enjoy your new found possible wealth
Turdacious
# posted by : 4:05 PM
: 4:05 PM
Congratulations for crossing over to the dark side. Fuck Mtv. Fuck'em in tha ass!!!!!!
# posted by : 4:25 PM
: 4:25 PM
What if this starts a strange chain of events where, to attain the Suckle Thight, the douchebags start mimicking nottadouches, so that normalcy becomes douchebaggery, and the nottadouches have to become douche to remain nottadouches. Then we have to wear mustaches, and the hotts still flock to the douchebags, but they're disguised as nottadouches, and, and, fuck.
# posted by : 4:32 PM
: 4:32 PM
DB1, if you hadn't committed yourself to THREE YEARS of consistently hysterical, totally solid material on this site, I'd still be a "loveable loser"-type-guy, knowing only the unending frustration and self-pity of not understanding why all my ex-girlfriends (and all hotts in general) go for the "jerks".
Thanks to you, your site, and all the mind-bogglingly funny and original contributors here, I've learned that what I once understood as "jerks" were actually douchebags; a seemingly small shift in perceptions that has produced epic changes in the way I engage the world.
Let me put it this way: When I believed "all women go for 'jerks'", I did everything I could possibly think of to present myself to women as a 'jerk' (and needless to say, my disingenuousness backfired every time). However, now that I've learned that the guys these women go for are actually DOUCHEBAGS as opposed to JERKS, I feel like I'M the one in the driver's seat, with a restored, natural sense of self-confidence.
To put it simply, I thought I wanted to be perceived as a 'jerk'... I'd NEVER want to be perceived as a douchebag.
FUCKIN' A that you've been offered a tv show! For all the good you've done, you deserve it. Take the money and run, my friend!
Thanks to you, your site, and all the mind-bogglingly funny and original contributors here, I've learned that what I once understood as "jerks" were actually douchebags; a seemingly small shift in perceptions that has produced epic changes in the way I engage the world.
Let me put it this way: When I believed "all women go for 'jerks'", I did everything I could possibly think of to present myself to women as a 'jerk' (and needless to say, my disingenuousness backfired every time). However, now that I've learned that the guys these women go for are actually DOUCHEBAGS as opposed to JERKS, I feel like I'M the one in the driver's seat, with a restored, natural sense of self-confidence.
To put it simply, I thought I wanted to be perceived as a 'jerk'... I'd NEVER want to be perceived as a douchebag.
FUCKIN' A that you've been offered a tv show! For all the good you've done, you deserve it. Take the money and run, my friend!
I can't believe you took the corporate sellout route. What next you find yourself a nice woman, settle down and have kids? Your loyal fans deserved better.
# posted by : 4:51 PM
: 4:51 PM
To change the system, you must become the system. While we strike the behemoth's foundation, let us hope it does not topple on to our heads.
# posted by : 4:58 PM
: 4:58 PM
Stank,
There is no becoming and changing the system. The biggest douchebags run this country and will continue to run this country.
There is no becoming and changing the system. The biggest douchebags run this country and will continue to run this country.
# posted by : 5:15 PM
: 5:15 PM
I'm still really sad.
But now I'm really high too.
So now, I just don't care.
Nothin' like drowning your problems with drugs and alcohol. It's the American way.
But now I'm really high too.
So now, I just don't care.
Nothin' like drowning your problems with drugs and alcohol. It's the American way.
Congrats and all that, but This is Still the Internet: no youtube link to trailer?
--VS
--VS
# posted by : 5:33 PM
: 5:33 PM
Alas how can even basic cable contain all the delights of this website: the commentary by dude fags; the whimsical kitten strangling; the great big ego fistula that is Arthur Kade; the tingling feeling (not that, the other one) every week as we wonder how close the ass pear is to 18; and my expression of consternation when Mrs. Fuller storms out after I merely suggest it would be appropriate for someone to smack Sarah Jessica Parker across the face with a barbed wire wrapped 2x4.
You realize they'll make nice until they've wrung all the buzz they can out of the website then the script notes will start: "can we have something like a rose ceremony?" "can you use more single syllable words?" "We're bringing in Criss Angel to guest host for a week--just to see how he tests." "...no, its actually in the rider. Mr. West requires that you do something called "genuflect" as he walks on stage for his guest appearance. What does that mean; is that a new made-up Snoop Dogg word?" "THOU SHALT NOT MENTION AXE."
You realize they'll make nice until they've wrung all the buzz they can out of the website then the script notes will start: "can we have something like a rose ceremony?" "can you use more single syllable words?" "We're bringing in Criss Angel to guest host for a week--just to see how he tests." "...no, its actually in the rider. Mr. West requires that you do something called "genuflect" as he walks on stage for his guest appearance. What does that mean; is that a new made-up Snoop Dogg word?" "THOU SHALT NOT MENTION AXE."
# posted by : 5:46 PM
: 5:46 PM
and o yea props db1 on selling out to MTV.. take the money... fuck the haters, these assholes that troll your site everyday aren't paying your bills
Boston's own scrote returns to the blog.... Where is my $10K for chickening out on our fight?
We can fight on MTV now.
Octagon style bitch.
We can fight on MTV now.
Octagon style bitch.
yup, its time for my triumphant return...
wheres that other homo that called me out that lived in Philly?
wheres that other homo that called me out that lived in Philly?
Look assholes, this site is one thing, the show is another. Get over yourselves. The show might crash and burn after a half season like other MTV shows like the much-missed Brothers Grimm, or it may be the next Beavis and Butthead which was a very smartly written show about cultural commentary through the lens of the very stupid. But this site will remain, even if it's just me and Croosh adding to Samürà î Šcrötę's tally.
DB1 has tapped a gushing vein in the turgid cockk that is real America's pent-up malice towards these shallow strutting peacocks, and I for one am proud to be part of the fiery red yeast infection at the tip of that boner.
Huzzah to DB1 for extracting filthy lucre from the Sodom, the Golden Calf, that so many of these fecal spews use as their north star.
Whether it thrives or fails let DB1 enjoy his pound of taint flesh. That DB1 got his own jet airplane; that DB1's a mill-yone-nair. Don't be h8'n.
If you want to bitch about something you haven't seen yet go join your close cousins picketing the new Star Trek, for fuck's sake.
There is no shark. Only cockk. Keep your noses out of his cockk.
In the immortal words of Mr. White: "Give piss a chance".
DB1 has tapped a gushing vein in the turgid cockk that is real America's pent-up malice towards these shallow strutting peacocks, and I for one am proud to be part of the fiery red yeast infection at the tip of that boner.
Huzzah to DB1 for extracting filthy lucre from the Sodom, the Golden Calf, that so many of these fecal spews use as their north star.
Whether it thrives or fails let DB1 enjoy his pound of taint flesh. That DB1 got his own jet airplane; that DB1's a mill-yone-nair. Don't be h8'n.
If you want to bitch about something you haven't seen yet go join your close cousins picketing the new Star Trek, for fuck's sake.
There is no shark. Only cockk. Keep your noses out of his cockk.
In the immortal words of Mr. White: "Give piss a chance".
Oh well... inevitable... here comes the lunchbox and the breakfast cereal ... anything edgy or cool is immediately scooped up by the SHITSTEM to sell tires and toothpaste.. I guess in 20 yrs with a big pile of $$$ you will see you've done the right thing here in Capitalism Inc...
# posted by : 7:25 PM
: 7:25 PM
Indeed, Darksock. Give piss a chance.
And lets not forget that MTV has indeed put some stellar programming on. Yes, 95% of it is crap, but they also gave us 120 Minutes, a whole assortment of fucked up animation on Liquid Television that me and my idiot college buddies still quote, Sifl and Olly, and the way under appreciated Clone High. Did they put a lot of this stuff on at 1 a.m. and cancel it after a season or two? Well, yeah, but who knows what will happen.
I would also like to offer my services as some kind of commentator and host, with my lovely co-host, Medusa, of course. And maybe each week there could be....
And lets not forget that MTV has indeed put some stellar programming on. Yes, 95% of it is crap, but they also gave us 120 Minutes, a whole assortment of fucked up animation on Liquid Television that me and my idiot college buddies still quote, Sifl and Olly, and the way under appreciated Clone High. Did they put a lot of this stuff on at 1 a.m. and cancel it after a season or two? Well, yeah, but who knows what will happen.
I would also like to offer my services as some kind of commentator and host, with my lovely co-host, Medusa, of course. And maybe each week there could be....
That's right, I will smear myself with filth (more than usual), crap up my hair with egg whites and a bird's nest, and scream like Mike Patton in FNM. DB1, LET ME BE YOUR LACKEY WHORE! (OR SLAPHWOAR!)
Hey guys I just heard Great White's headlining The Burning Man Festival this year!!!
# posted by : 8:07 PM
: 8:07 PM
the great white jokes are still goin, good to see
glad you guys still haven't gotten laid since I left
glad you guys still haven't gotten laid since I left
and still sittin on a computer on a saturday night guys, only this month around there aren't many others to splash around with :(
bostondouchebag has gotten more ass in the last week in Philly than you fags have your entire lives
:D
carry on homos
:D
carry on homos
For a brief moment, due to the shock of DB1's big announcement, I actually forgot that it's allll about BDB. My bad.
# posted by : 8:54 PM
: 8:54 PM
the funny thing is since I put up this picture of me without a shirt on the profile views have gone through the roof. Which I guess means one thing. You're all a bunch of fags, keep jaggggin off to my picture homos.
I'm out for the night
I'm out for the night
DB1 cheers, I don't have TV but will gladly watch a few episodes on utube.
Before you demonstrate to every sub 85 IQ prepubescent that the hotts like the douchies, I hope you land bigger and better things. And by better things, I mean lots of boobies that come with extra tickets to the MTV awards.
Before you demonstrate to every sub 85 IQ prepubescent that the hotts like the douchies, I hope you land bigger and better things. And by better things, I mean lots of boobies that come with extra tickets to the MTV awards.
Finally, ONE reason, and one reason ONLY, to watch MTV. I find it to be too full of douchebags to watch at all. But if any show belongs there, it's YOURS, DB1.
Give me all the Law and Orders, CSI's, Antique Roadshows, RedEye,
Weather Channel, continuous news (junkie I is), American Experience, PBS Nature, PBSMasterpiece, Animal Planet, History Channel, ESPN when it matters, and Geraldo. I'll also admit to HGTV and FOOD if interesting, This Old House kinds of stuff, and checking out Lisa Robertson on QVC. Sometimes C-SPAN is quite interesting. Sometimes.
Better yet, turning OFF the set is also very refreshing.
Give me all the Law and Orders, CSI's, Antique Roadshows, RedEye,
Weather Channel, continuous news (junkie I is), American Experience, PBS Nature, PBSMasterpiece, Animal Planet, History Channel, ESPN when it matters, and Geraldo. I'll also admit to HGTV and FOOD if interesting, This Old House kinds of stuff, and checking out Lisa Robertson on QVC. Sometimes C-SPAN is quite interesting. Sometimes.
Better yet, turning OFF the set is also very refreshing.
# posted by : 9:16 PM
: 9:16 PM
Boss- what do you think they're gonna say when you mention tho them that two of their biggest stars are two of our biggest 'bags? Kutcher and Mayer? I hate to tell ya, you may have been Punk'd. Hope not though. The truth is out there...
BDB at 8:34:
I've gotten more ass than anybody just by sittin' on mine, so go fck a Smurf, you silly beanbag troll.
I've gotten more ass than anybody just by sittin' on mine, so go fck a Smurf, you silly beanbag troll.
# posted by : 9:24 PM
: 9:24 PM
Perhaps it would be better as "The Guild" on "Fuse" or "Current" instead of the giant satanic SLAPWHOAR of content that is Viacom.
Otherhanded: The more indie sites that capitalize into something & translate well, the better; so great I guess.
But pee in my butt, Batman. Great that DB1 is EP, but putting this on MTV is like whatever the opposite of 'Preaching to the Choir' is called.
-Installing a condom machine at Valtrex headquarters?
Or driving a Good Humor truck through panel 3 of Bosch's "Garden of Earthly Delights"
Anyway, I just watched 'the Onion Movie' and I can't seem to figure room for the non-wigger hyper-literate Kierkegaardian Omni-taint spectre voice-over that is the heart of this site.
I just can't imagine a hcwdb property without somebody saying they'd pee in Trunk's butt -for a week, or Sock volunteering to finger-roll-clear the impacted anal glands of someone's mother.
(btw, thank you Sock. she had been in a lot of pain)
Congrats to you Mr. DoucheBag. Best of luck. -Just nervous for you. Think I have to go pee in the cat's butt.
now piss off and cash your check, you little fucking sellout! :D
Otherhanded: The more indie sites that capitalize into something & translate well, the better; so great I guess.
But pee in my butt, Batman. Great that DB1 is EP, but putting this on MTV is like whatever the opposite of 'Preaching to the Choir' is called.
-Installing a condom machine at Valtrex headquarters?
Or driving a Good Humor truck through panel 3 of Bosch's "Garden of Earthly Delights"
Anyway, I just watched 'the Onion Movie' and I can't seem to figure room for the non-wigger hyper-literate Kierkegaardian Omni-taint spectre voice-over that is the heart of this site.
I just can't imagine a hcwdb property without somebody saying they'd pee in Trunk's butt -for a week, or Sock volunteering to finger-roll-clear the impacted anal glands of someone's mother.
(btw, thank you Sock. she had been in a lot of pain)
Congrats to you Mr. DoucheBag. Best of luck. -Just nervous for you. Think I have to go pee in the cat's butt.
now piss off and cash your check, you little fucking sellout! :D
# posted by : 9:28 PM
: 9:28 PM
I ain't even gonna read through the heat that DB1's probably taking for this post on this thread. Plus, I gotsta feed my son in five.
I will simply say congrats!
And I would recommend BvG, Darksock, BCS, Mr. White, Medusa and Pfah's corpse as associate writers; with Troy Tempest thrown in for political opinions. Plinky can give us keen insight into the douche / hott cominglings in the slammer... er, scratch that.
Vin Douchal can do the theme music.
The rest of us heathens can sit back and drink our asses off.
Cheers!
I will simply say congrats!
And I would recommend BvG, Darksock, BCS, Mr. White, Medusa and Pfah's corpse as associate writers; with Troy Tempest thrown in for political opinions. Plinky can give us keen insight into the douche / hott cominglings in the slammer... er, scratch that.
Vin Douchal can do the theme music.
The rest of us heathens can sit back and drink our asses off.
Cheers!
You know, in the polygamist compounds of the breakaway Mormon sects, they sometimes refer to having their Wives No. 2 and up apply for welfare and other programs as single, unwed mothers. They call this "Bleeding the Beast," the Beast being the federal government that criminalizes polygamy and underage marriage--and by extension we the taxpayers who support that government. I say Bleed the Beast of MTV for all you can DB1. When things turn south, become another Frank from Blue Velvet. Milk them for all the craft services turkey wrap sandwiches and Dr. Peppers you can stomach, then throw up on set for someone else to clean and head back for more. Query the cast of the Hills about their STD and abortion history. Ask a rapper why he can't speak proper fucking English while smiling on camera just once. Tell Miley Cyrus that you know a guy who every night rapes a pillow with a picture of her face taped to it. Tell the Jonas Brothers the same thing. Make sure when they compare notes they'll realize it's the same guy. Remember: they fucked over the guy who created Ren & Stimpy half way through the first season. Make the Beast pay!
# posted by : 10:17 PM
: 10:17 PM
i now hate db1 and all the so-called 'regulars' here. they think they own the joint. i post all the time under all sorts of ridiculous 'non-blogger' names so i'm not a 'regular.' fuck them, and fuck you db1 for destroying the one thing i loved about this site... incoruptibility.
consider yourselves 'corrupted.'
consider yourselves 'corrupted.'
# posted by : 10:19 PM
: 10:19 PM
the following is Steve L's take on this post in as few words as possible.
never forget:
1. KING DOUCHUOUS IV & DOUBLE SHOT OF LOVE
2. TOOL ACADEMY
always remember:
Frank Miller originally didn't want to turn Sin City into a movie. the movie did eventually meet most of its commercial and artistic expectations. but there were reasons why Frank Miller originally didn't want to turn Sin City into a movie. i think we all know what those reasons were.
my point is, i feel like i'm looking at the reality TV and film adaptions of HCwDB the same way that Frank Miller was looking at the film adaptation of Sin City. now i'm obviously no Frank Miller, but that was the best analogy i could draw.
finally:
i do believe that, regardless of how well DB1's film / TV ventures turned out, DB1 can maintain the same inspirational qualities that were essential to the founding of HCwDB, and HCwDB can still be a great website.
damn that was still pretty wordy.
never forget:
1. KING DOUCHUOUS IV & DOUBLE SHOT OF LOVE
2. TOOL ACADEMY
always remember:
Frank Miller originally didn't want to turn Sin City into a movie. the movie did eventually meet most of its commercial and artistic expectations. but there were reasons why Frank Miller originally didn't want to turn Sin City into a movie. i think we all know what those reasons were.
my point is, i feel like i'm looking at the reality TV and film adaptions of HCwDB the same way that Frank Miller was looking at the film adaptation of Sin City. now i'm obviously no Frank Miller, but that was the best analogy i could draw.
finally:
i do believe that, regardless of how well DB1's film / TV ventures turned out, DB1 can maintain the same inspirational qualities that were essential to the founding of HCwDB, and HCwDB can still be a great website.
damn that was still pretty wordy.
OMFG!!!
Now U H83rz hav ur own tv show.
H8 on, aswipes
I gotz mur tail last weak then all of u got lst YER!
Hve ur tv show fun, u all jst a bunch of h8erz!!!
I stll pul mur tail then al u combined!!!!!!!!!!!!
Arthur Kade is my "God".
Now U H83rz hav ur own tv show.
H8 on, aswipes
I gotz mur tail last weak then all of u got lst YER!
Hve ur tv show fun, u all jst a bunch of h8erz!!!
I stll pul mur tail then al u combined!!!!!!!!!!!!
Arthur Kade is my "God".
# posted by : 12:59 AM
: 12:59 AM
Phase 2: DB1 exec produces the spin-off gameshow "Who Wants To Pee In Her Butt?" Regis Philbin, Chuck Woolery and Roger Lodge enter the Thunderdome to decide who gets to host.
This is a great day, DB!. Congratulations on your cultural insight, your perseverance and the rum-eyed desperation of programming directors that need to feed the tween market. Huzzah! You are an executive producer now!
...and I have your email address. This will not end well.
Oh no, it will not.
This is a great day, DB!. Congratulations on your cultural insight, your perseverance and the rum-eyed desperation of programming directors that need to feed the tween market. Huzzah! You are an executive producer now!
...and I have your email address. This will not end well.
Oh no, it will not.
i get the move. and anyone with the option would have made it...
and i will be watching, and perhaps even pimping it a bit in the other recesses of the interwebs i inhabit.
perhaps i am speaking for myself only, perhaps not, but i thought i was done with mtv for all intents and purposes. i remember hating seeing bands i like getting the reacharound on mtv, then going out and playing gigs, embarassedly, or faux embarassedly hiding the mtv hit in the middle of the set. thus the negative reaction...i am just a consumer here, and i love the content, i hope i add to it in some small way.
more residual anger, than anything against you db1. kick their asses, i gotta get these kids offfa my lawn
and i will be watching, and perhaps even pimping it a bit in the other recesses of the interwebs i inhabit.
perhaps i am speaking for myself only, perhaps not, but i thought i was done with mtv for all intents and purposes. i remember hating seeing bands i like getting the reacharound on mtv, then going out and playing gigs, embarassedly, or faux embarassedly hiding the mtv hit in the middle of the set. thus the negative reaction...i am just a consumer here, and i love the content, i hope i add to it in some small way.
more residual anger, than anything against you db1. kick their asses, i gotta get these kids offfa my lawn
# posted by : 3:27 AM
: 3:27 AM
Congrats DB, hope you milk soulless evil worthless Viacom and MTV for all their worth. Your show will probably be the best thing on their vacuous, piece-of-shit line up of shallow dreck of shows. If you transpose your wit and humor however to a network watched by entitlement generation dingbats with all the brains of a gnat in a blender, you'll be cancelled by your third show. So again, stick that network for all their worth, we fans will always be over here on your blog.
Shitty Trolling No-Name Anon,
Bingo! To people who did not post regularly, the site was about actually about making fun of douchebags and not some sort of comedic circle jerk, where you try to tell each other how "funny" the other person is. There were only a few funny posters on the site besides DB1. The rest were a bunch of clowns thinking this was their private message board (which it may have been all along).
Let me ask you DB1, how much control of the show are you going to have? I bet for legal reasons you will not be able to make fun of random douchebags anymore. Your whole show will have to be "staged," which will suck ass. They would not even let you name your show after your website.
Bingo! To people who did not post regularly, the site was about actually about making fun of douchebags and not some sort of comedic circle jerk, where you try to tell each other how "funny" the other person is. There were only a few funny posters on the site besides DB1. The rest were a bunch of clowns thinking this was their private message board (which it may have been all along).
Let me ask you DB1, how much control of the show are you going to have? I bet for legal reasons you will not be able to make fun of random douchebags anymore. Your whole show will have to be "staged," which will suck ass. They would not even let you name your show after your website.
# posted by : 6:10 AM
: 6:10 AM
Grats.
Interesting reactions from the posters. The challange, I guess is to convert a wonderful blog to the wasteland that is TV. Good luck with that!
In hindsight, I'm thinking that Arthur Kade must have been a TV prop in development. Looks like my hometown, Philly, is about to get another in the series of black eyes that started with W.C. Fields. At least you're in good company.
Interesting reactions from the posters. The challange, I guess is to convert a wonderful blog to the wasteland that is TV. Good luck with that!
In hindsight, I'm thinking that Arthur Kade must have been a TV prop in development. Looks like my hometown, Philly, is about to get another in the series of black eyes that started with W.C. Fields. At least you're in good company.
# posted by : 6:57 AM
: 6:57 AM
@ anon 6:10-
Please hold your posts to 20 words or less; Crucial and I are trying to have a conversation here.
Thank you
Please hold your posts to 20 words or less; Crucial and I are trying to have a conversation here.
Thank you
The logic in pitching this show to MTV [arguably the most douchetastic of all networks] is somewhat lost on me.
# posted by : 7:40 AM
: 7:40 AM
Nice going DB1. I'll watch it. Make sure you start writing your Emmy acceptance speech. We all expect to be thanked - by name.
And what's the deal - the name is too racy, so they had to change it? This after years of Summers Eve commercials and ED cures, the word Douchebag is unacceptable?
And what's the deal - the name is too racy, so they had to change it? This after years of Summers Eve commercials and ED cures, the word Douchebag is unacceptable?
# posted by : 9:17 AM
: 9:17 AM
Another meme dies. MTV Corporate will own you DB1. They'll tell you what kind of briefs to buy and Kurt Loder will start showing up unannounced in your bed and trying to pork you with his Rolling Stone credentials and his weiner named "Jann." HCWDB is so over. I will not watch the TV show. But say hi to Bam for me when you call him a douchebag...oh, wait...nobody at MTV can be a douchebag. I get it. Suck! As Rush said to Obama, "I hope your new douchebag show on MTV fails!"
# posted by : 9:46 AM
: 9:46 AM
Think about it: you've already given in on the name change thing. Your balls now belong to the ghost of Rikki Rachtman dude! Haven't seen such douchefoolery since Mike Judge turned Mr. Anderson into Hank Hill and Beavis and Butthead was scrapped for King of the Hill. Yeah, we've got a few changes we'd like to make and we've gone ahead and made them..um...Ashton Kuncter will be hosting the show and it will now be a dating show called "Pimp My Truckerhat..." Foo!
# posted by : 9:51 AM
: 9:51 AM
@ Retired and his ilk:
Here's a quote for you and the rest of the detractors in the peanut gallery who are descending like flies onto DB1's sticky boner of victory:
""It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly...Who knows the great enthusiams, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who have never known neither victory nor defeat."
That quote, Sir, is from Teddy Roosevelt - our 43rd president, and son of Franklin Roosevelt, who started World War One and cured polio. They're both in heaven now, laughing at your dumb asses.
I hope you and your rock throwing pals feel a little stupid now.
Here's a quote for you and the rest of the detractors in the peanut gallery who are descending like flies onto DB1's sticky boner of victory:
""It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly...Who knows the great enthusiams, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who have never known neither victory nor defeat."
That quote, Sir, is from Teddy Roosevelt - our 43rd president, and son of Franklin Roosevelt, who started World War One and cured polio. They're both in heaven now, laughing at your dumb asses.
I hope you and your rock throwing pals feel a little stupid now.
DarkSock,
The cause as people who read this website and actually hate douchebags is over. The cause of your comedic circle jerk will continue. MTV will take away from the creative genius of this site and make it as horrible as a commercial for any Axe product.
The cause as people who read this website and actually hate douchebags is over. The cause of your comedic circle jerk will continue. MTV will take away from the creative genius of this site and make it as horrible as a commercial for any Axe product.
# posted by : 10:23 AM
: 10:23 AM
I would like to interrupt our previously scheduled circle jerking session to mention that I think Baron, Darksock, BCS, Pfah’s corpse, Troy T Vin D, Mr. White, Medusa, etc., etc., are really funny. Furthermore, I think we are super awesome. So much so, that the collective awesome hilarity that defines our very existence, has provided mankind with the cures to H1N1, Alzheimer’s, and halitosis. Some would even say our humble egos have cured testicular elephantitis – though scientists have yet to provide conclusive evidence of this. I say Darksock’s junk should be evidence enough. In summation: boobies.
Now, back to the circle jerking.
Now, back to the circle jerking.
Ahhh, I see. Well, one outa two ain't bad.
Since you have all the answers, when will the Anon scourge be over?
Maybe you could start a trend by laying down in traffic.
Since you have all the answers, when will the Anon scourge be over?
Maybe you could start a trend by laying down in traffic.
So Darksock, you going to Miami next year for AIA 2010? Let’s round up all the locals here and spend a few nights down there heckling the douchebags that run rampant in Dade County. I’ll even pay for Hypersexualgirl’s ticket. And by pay, I mean…
Dark Sock -- your superfandom is getting excessive and creepy. DB1, I'd look into getting a restraining order...now.
# posted by : 10:28 AM
: 10:28 AM
I prefer to keep the fight against the douche going than to lay down in traffic. Instead of rushing to sit at the "popular" table in middle school, I realized that they were a bunch of douchebags and jock douchebags. I will adapt and fight the douchebag plague. I will not join the douchebag majority for a few thousand dollars.
# posted by : 10:31 AM
: 10:31 AM
"AIA 2010"?
A rchitects
I nundated by
A ss pear?
(Wheezer grabs an old blueprint and cardboard tube.....)
A rchitects
I nundated by
A ss pear?
(Wheezer grabs an old blueprint and cardboard tube.....)
@Croosh,
Actually, I'm as much an architect as was George Costanza (as you undoubtedly surmised).
But if there's ass pear "in da house," then I might be willing to fake it anyway.
Actually, I'm as much an architect as was George Costanza (as you undoubtedly surmised).
But if there's ass pear "in da house," then I might be willing to fake it anyway.
The book! The TV show! The movie! Coming soon: The energy drink! The action figures! Cross-promotional marketing with Bam Margera! I hope you can enjoy your dirty money before you get shot by "DarkSock" for not acknowledging his letters in which he shares his epiphany that he believes you are soulmates who are meant to be together...forever...
# posted by : 10:53 AM
: 10:53 AM
@ Reader Mike:
Why thank you. I googled it myself.
@ Crucial: Hells yes I'm going to AIA 2010. I have to; I'm a chapter exec. By all means let hook up and get stoopid. We can double-team DB1's weenie.
@ Tippecanoe, aka Retired, aka Anon Troll, et. al. -
So, DB1 posts a pic. Then makes funny comments. Then there's a comment thread. Folks log in, make more funny comments, and laugh at other comments. Good lord, you're right; we've been doing it all wrong. Your formula (heckle, scavenge, lurk and snark) would be much better. Except if we all did that it wouldn't work. We can't all be lampreys and hagfish; what would we feed on?
You DO understand that as this week's resident Troll you are a living internet cliche, right?
This is the only comment thread I've ever bothered to visit, but I've seen your type come and go for two years now. You can't contribute, so you just tear down.
Here's an epiphany for you: Satire minus wit is simply derision; sarcasm minus intelligence is simpy disparagement. And tiresome heckling plus low self-esteem is just another internet troll.
If you can't stand the comraderie in the comment threads, just read DB1's posts, bug nuts.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have several fellow poster's cockks to suck.
Why thank you. I googled it myself.
@ Crucial: Hells yes I'm going to AIA 2010. I have to; I'm a chapter exec. By all means let hook up and get stoopid. We can double-team DB1's weenie.
@ Tippecanoe, aka Retired, aka Anon Troll, et. al. -
So, DB1 posts a pic. Then makes funny comments. Then there's a comment thread. Folks log in, make more funny comments, and laugh at other comments. Good lord, you're right; we've been doing it all wrong. Your formula (heckle, scavenge, lurk and snark) would be much better. Except if we all did that it wouldn't work. We can't all be lampreys and hagfish; what would we feed on?
You DO understand that as this week's resident Troll you are a living internet cliche, right?
This is the only comment thread I've ever bothered to visit, but I've seen your type come and go for two years now. You can't contribute, so you just tear down.
Here's an epiphany for you: Satire minus wit is simply derision; sarcasm minus intelligence is simpy disparagement. And tiresome heckling plus low self-esteem is just another internet troll.
If you can't stand the comraderie in the comment threads, just read DB1's posts, bug nuts.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have several fellow poster's cockks to suck.
Oh, DB1, You are now a commodity. Hot Chicks with Consumers. Ed Hardy was a tattoo artist who had some provincial fame. He saw an opening and he took it. He cashed in on trends and pop culture. How is this any different?? Congratulations on successfully turning yourself into a commodity on the open media market. May you achieve your goal of becoming an icon of unlimited acquisitiveness. Grow, grow, grow. Enjoy your shopping. HCwDB comes to MTV. The irony is brutal! Cultural shift indeed...
# posted by : 11:02 AM
: 11:02 AM
@ Climate Change (aka Retired, etc.) -
It's a show about preening 20-somethings. What network, if not MTV? VH-1, the Dad-Rock channel? HGTV? Nickelodeon? The fucking Food Network?
Shouldn't you and your multiple personalities be flaming on The Slate or MoveOn.org something? Jeez, dude, take a fucking Midol.
It's a show about preening 20-somethings. What network, if not MTV? VH-1, the Dad-Rock channel? HGTV? Nickelodeon? The fucking Food Network?
Shouldn't you and your multiple personalities be flaming on The Slate or MoveOn.org something? Jeez, dude, take a fucking Midol.
# posted by : 11:09 AM
: 11:09 AM
So it's a circle jerk... Meh, could be worse. A man's gotta make a living. The comraderie and good will towards a fellows' accomplishments is a virtue that comes with age and maturity. It may appear like a circle jerk when one is a boy, however.
@ DB1
After much debate (drinking), I have decided that I will indeed give it a chance.
But that is all I will committ. I work 60 - 90 hours a week and only follow one show on TV (South Park), and if you think that you have the mustard to make it two, then by god, you better give those douchebags hell...
And give me some ass pears.
After much debate (drinking), I have decided that I will indeed give it a chance.
But that is all I will committ. I work 60 - 90 hours a week and only follow one show on TV (South Park), and if you think that you have the mustard to make it two, then by god, you better give those douchebags hell...
And give me some ass pears.
The biggest announcement ever on this site, and it just now catches up to the number of posts in Trunk's thread....what have we learned?
That you could slow-cook a turkey leg in Trunk's butthole. And it would be delicious.
That's what.
That you could slow-cook a turkey leg in Trunk's butthole. And it would be delicious.
That's what.
I'm assuming all of the cries of "sell out" are from people who live off the grid in their own self-sufficient compounds, producing everything they need on their own and taking nothing from society? Otherwise, you're sell outs, too. We're all sell outs.
Or maybe you're working on something awesome that you're not going to show anyone, because sharing it with the world would be selling out? If so, please get back to it. Stat.
@darksock
Knock off your fucking Roosevelt quotes and pull my peen. Being in a circle jerk has certain responsibilities. Most of them involve jerking things.
Or maybe you're working on something awesome that you're not going to show anyone, because sharing it with the world would be selling out? If so, please get back to it. Stat.
@darksock
Knock off your fucking Roosevelt quotes and pull my peen. Being in a circle jerk has certain responsibilities. Most of them involve jerking things.
BDB's photo is the manwhore that drilled him Thurday night. He is bringing him a drink because his heart almost gave out when he saw the six pack coming at him.
can we get the trailer linked here yet? i'm still confused as to the concept. what are we accomplishing again, and what makes it a "good" thing.
# posted by : 12:47 PM
: 12:47 PM
Yeah, this site is still a big circle jerk, even with the addition of said female Medusa, who blasted in, wowed 'em all, and made her own site noticed (Hypersexual Girl). A crew of regulars actually does "own" this site, and even some of us who've been here a while and might be counted as regulars are still on the outside looking in (or on). So all you ANONS, don't feel too bad.
There are plenty of other things to do in the world, and even Crucial admits to feeding his new baby boy, although for the life of me I cannot ascertain why his WIFE is not breastfeeding the babe, since boobies rate so HIGHLY on this site.
Spring is here, and so are gardens, lawns, barbecues, canoe trips, bicycling,golf, etc etc etc. More than enough to keep anyone with sense AWAY from this site for a while.
Go for it, ANONS. Even some of us regulars do.
There are plenty of other things to do in the world, and even Crucial admits to feeding his new baby boy, although for the life of me I cannot ascertain why his WIFE is not breastfeeding the babe, since boobies rate so HIGHLY on this site.
Spring is here, and so are gardens, lawns, barbecues, canoe trips, bicycling,golf, etc etc etc. More than enough to keep anyone with sense AWAY from this site for a while.
Go for it, ANONS. Even some of us regulars do.
# posted by : 1:11 PM
: 1:11 PM
It's obvious that a big bunch of dogs have been posting here for some time now. Licking their own and each other's.
Along comes a new dog, or two or three, and the pack either ignores them, or at some point, a battle begins for Top Dog, Alpha Male.
DB1 might be construed as that dog, but in reality, it appears to be some sort of triumvirate of Crucial Head, DarkSock and Mr White. Some might disagree with this, but as now, that's the status quo. There are lots of others equally beneficial to the pack, such as Baron.
Medusa might be the Alpha Female, but that's because a lot of other females here aren't interested or have never 'fessed up to being bitches.
Anons are the drifters and coyotes, barkin' away and being ignored for the most part.
Me, I'm just a great Dane with a limited lifespan, and an admiration for bitches and tail-wagging. Most of the banter here is not tail-wagging except with the regular insiders. Mostly it's bristling back hairs and tails up and snarls. To the anons.
Along comes a new dog, or two or three, and the pack either ignores them, or at some point, a battle begins for Top Dog, Alpha Male.
DB1 might be construed as that dog, but in reality, it appears to be some sort of triumvirate of Crucial Head, DarkSock and Mr White. Some might disagree with this, but as now, that's the status quo. There are lots of others equally beneficial to the pack, such as Baron.
Medusa might be the Alpha Female, but that's because a lot of other females here aren't interested or have never 'fessed up to being bitches.
Anons are the drifters and coyotes, barkin' away and being ignored for the most part.
Me, I'm just a great Dane with a limited lifespan, and an admiration for bitches and tail-wagging. Most of the banter here is not tail-wagging except with the regular insiders. Mostly it's bristling back hairs and tails up and snarls. To the anons.
# posted by : 1:24 PM
: 1:24 PM
Or at least those he hopes bat on his side of the plate:
BostonDoucheBag said...
crucial head whats your faggot ass been up to?
BostonDoucheBag said...
crucial head whats your faggot ass been up to?
# posted by : 1:57 PM
: 1:57 PM
Just felt I wanted to add that a fair few of the Anon comments are shit. A hundred "Faggot" and "I'd fuck her" posts per thread do little for me. The regulars, Mr White, Darksock, Pfah, Plinky (come back, man), Medusa, Rubbery, Crucial, Baron G and many more are what make the site for me. They mock with a biting wit that is far funnier than the blind hatred of some others. I've been reading this for under a year and I can say for sure that take away what is being dismissed as a circle jerk and what you would be left with is less like entertainment and more like transcripts from a therapy session.
You could at least give DB1 a chance, if only because of all the laughs he has given people over the years (and a picture of Fung pops up in my head). If he fucks up then tell him. If he doesn't then laugh at the show.
You could at least give DB1 a chance, if only because of all the laughs he has given people over the years (and a picture of Fung pops up in my head). If he fucks up then tell him. If he doesn't then laugh at the show.
# posted by : 2:11 PM
: 2:11 PM
Dammit. I guess this means that Valley of the Shadwells will have to stop ripping you off, then.
Those MTV lawyers do NOT have a sense of humour, so I hear.
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Those MTV lawyers do NOT have a sense of humour, so I hear.
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