Dear PGaBNB,

'taintslime'...good word.

Unfortunately the only thing you can do at this point is continue with the newspaper swatting/whispering and when her heart is broken by said douchebags....you take her in your arms, for she already knows that you 'told her so', hand her a Maker's on the rocks, and then give her the 'stars and stripes' forever....

...well that's what I'd do.
 

nothing says "badass" like drinking a Bud Light with your sister and her special needs boyfriend.
 

Can she be saved?
Does the stench of Axe and Dakkor Noir permeate her every pore? Does she have a guyliner-white belt fetish yet? Does she lustily dream of mandana's and the douche underneath? Is the UBRC her only drinking implememt?
If you answered yes to anyone of these questions....she's skanked.
 

You know, every day this site gives me more reasons to be a lesbian. Now what the fuck am I supposed to do? God, I feel like I'm looking at a douche buffet. The douches are prime cuts, the pan has been deglazed, and the sauce has been reduced and reduced again to contain such concentrated choadary that I almost can't stand it.

Right douche's shirt is pretty apt. Qui. Yes, who would wear such an abomination of a shirt? Who would proudly hold up their shitty can of Bud Light? Who would be such a loser that they have to hid behind such a thick layer of scrotastic preening that it almost drips off my screen? This douchebag.
 

Today is National Handshake Day. A day dedicated to friendship and comaraderie. But we're being assualted by douches using thier hands for something else altogether. (and not masterbation surprisingly) Perhaps, in the douche world flipping the bird is the extent of thier communication skills.
 

Left to right:

Her: "I'm the f*ckin' hottest bee-yotch up in this piece!"

Hat: "TIMMY!!"

Him: "They let me watch."
 

Why do I have the feeling there is a four-footer below the camera?
 

wait a second here...

what if the kid in the hat actually has Down's Syndrome?

if that ends up being true, i'll rescind my previous comment immediately.

if it's not true, bad luck on the face there douchebag. you look like you're retarded.
 

Ashfish:
Don't go lesbian. Bisexual will do ;)
 

How nice, the skanky teacher showing her retarded students how to fingerspell their names.
 

PGaBNB:

Let her go man...just let her go.

Waste not another minute of your time on her. Be strong. Life is short.

Crack a frosty PBR tall-boy, take a big gulp, and feel life without her. There are other hotts to be saved.

AV
 

@Jean Claude Van Douche 11:19

Excellent Heavy Metal reference;)
 

taintslime.

nice.
 

@ Douche Wayne, 11:30

"TIMMY"! Hah! Classic.
 

Meanwhile, R.I.P. Farrah.....
 

this email is so unbelievably awesome i doubt its authenticity as being from an avid follower of the site. pure gold. even if it is counterfeit it was good for a hearty chuckle.
 

Left: Goldie Hawn's bastard prison escape cleft lipped child.

Center: The position he takes when he goes in the closet with choad on the right

Right: Showing what he does with his hand when he goes in the closet with the choad on the left.
 

Hey gang, look! It's Corky from the new ABC Family TV series Douche Goes On. In a new Very Special Episode he learns why it burns when you pee--after getting a little wild with the Axe spray.

The only thing that could make the bleeth less redeemable is if the poor guy actually is mentally challenged.
 

First of all, I guarantee this photo was taken in Riverside , CA., land of the shaved head tattoo freakazoid with a voice so annoying that it can penetrate a lead-lined, below-ground nuclear bunker, built-up four wheel drive trucks and more autism cases per capita than anywhere else in the world including the rat infested cardboard houses on the dunes of Tijuana and the shit-brown rivers of India ( due to toxic tap water and neo-natal meth usage ).

That's beside the point.

@ Poppa's Got a Brand New Bag

As a reg you've seen enough. We've all had an assful of these twigs on the great tree of humanity.

The only reason to try to save your Bleeth friend is if you wanna bump uglies with her.

If not, "See ya !"

If so, get her tested for STDs, mange, ticks, fleas, Mad Cow Disease, lazy eye, PMS, PMDD, crabs, The Drip, The Herp, scabies, clogged arteris, dandruff and stinky pussy before you even THINK about it.
 

Bud Light Gangsta!

When it's time to thug out but you still need to be light on your to outrun the po po
 

@Vin Douchal 1:07pm

Word. I've been to Riverside and lived to confirm every word you so eloquently uttered.
 

Wow, I wonder if that bleeth realizes that she looks like the same dumb hoe in every picture ever taken of her. Also, she's kind of a camera whore, code red. Whereas I am only a code yellow.
 

@ashfish, i too am tempted to go lesbian. if only for the ass pears. and my loveable non-douche boyfriend.
 

@Ms. East

Ah, that ass pears, they are so yummy. Unfortunately my boyfriend is speeding toward douche status at the speed of light, I'm quite torn. Its hard to see, its not quite the flamboyant way that those who appear on this site are, but its there. Like a thorn in my side.
 

"Hey look, it's the Douchegaria rectal examination Olympic team photo - they have it sewn up this year John!

I agree, just look at the digits on display here Bob. Long, good knuckle clearance with just a hint of curvature that a good champion needs to succeed in the rusty sheriffs badge event. To coin a phrase - 'aint no sunshine when she's gone [in]'"
 

guys like Poppa's Got a Brand New Bag just never gets out of the vicious cycles.

just mock the bleeths, for fuck's sake.
 

That video actually made me LOL while going into a rage.
 

@ Vin & Crucial

My wife's from Riverside and couldn't stop laughing when I showed her the post.

It's funny 'cuz it's true!
 

Couple of Gays..tryin so hard to go straight......
 

This picture reminds me of ghetto barbie and the douchey tricked out kens.

Can these two uber douches be any worse?

Affliction replica t-shirt. Check. Miller Light High Life. Check. Douchey hat turned sideways. Check.
Middle fingers up. Check.
Stoner looking faces. Check.

The best part about this picture is Ghetto barbie trying to look hard and her middle finger up.

Why is this semi attractive trailer trash blonde hanging with these douchinators?
 

These aren't douchebags. These are wanna be white gangstahs from Suburbia. Wangstahs. This is like every guy who lives in Boston. What is it about girls who dye their hair blonde that makes them want to fellatiate the first guy they see wearing a sideways hat with tattoos on his hands?