This picture proves that there is no God.
 

What a Garbage Bag. I'm disgusted.
 

*pulls dusty old revolver out of drawer and walks into bathroom*

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM


*sound of lifeless body slumping to the ground*
 

There's another one of those cock-ring/bikini things. What is this, a trend? I'm going to get to the bottom of this. Or at least, hers. And by "get to the bottom of", I mean exactly that.
 

There's another one of those cock-ring/bikini things. What is this, a trend? I'm going to get to the bottom of this. Or at least, hers. And by "get to the bottom of", I mean exactly that.
 

At least he's a Bears fan.
 

Is it too late to change my weeklies vote to this guy?

Malkovich malkovich?

Malkovich malkovich malkovich; malkovich.
 

@ DarkSock

Exactly, but notice this pud's arms; he's sure to win the weakly.
 

In what world is the acceptable? Am I missing something? That bag makes me want to punch myself in the face!
 

Third use for badass black gloves: bowling. Don't ask how I know.

I believe the plastic pants also helped him "acquire" little Carmen Al Dente.
 

shes Hott and heavy and hes
William Forsythe

http://www.melofanas.lt/katalogas/images/goods//34894_William_Forsythe_(I).jpg
 

wtf? seriously wtf is this shit. so angry...
 

Sorry darksock, but to me he looks like Forsythe
Douchie is in the eye of the beholder I guess
 

I guess the extraneous 3rd move is to have the Goose bottle handy.

But since he needs only the two moves, I recommend we crack the Goose bottle over his head and ram the remaining shards up his ass.

WHO'S WITH ME?
 

As the son of a tool and die shop guy, let me just say that I hope he uses those gloves for welding, and that he is within earshot of me when he does so that I can hear the screaming.
 

Gentlemen, it obvious: grab the bottle of Goose out of his hands, beat him senseless with it, then engage Long Island Tanned hott in quiet evening of conversation and drinking Goose.

But I do have a question...is it wrong to beat someone who is already senseless senseless? and more perplexing, would it be even possible to accomplish?
 

What you don't hear is the horn honking from the short bus outside.
 

Yo, baby, I'm throwin' a wild party down in my mom's laundry room. Why don't you round up some of your hott friends and come over?"

"Oh, sorry, can't pick you up baby! My dad took the car to work."
 

She's a Waldette from June 4th.
 

Bucky's parents told him to keep his hands off his sister...

so he put gloves on.

- Allah Choad
 

Wow, what a douchebag. I am having the hardest time understanding how these two were even in the same place.

The bag is wearing gloves and a Bears hat, is pale as a ghost, and is rolling with his bottle of vodka.

The Hott is as tanned as can be, wearing a bikini, and is drinking a corona.

I will forever be confused by the Yin and Yang of HCwDBs...

Whattadouce (FTR)
 

Most disgusting.

Coupling.

Ever.



I feel like slamming my head repeatedly into an oncoming train.

Like, seriously. What is wrong with this woman? I mean, he obviously is missing a chromosome, but what's HER excuse to be cavorting with this big loaf of douche? Maybe she isn't real. Maybe she's plastic. Or maybe I'm imagining this entire picture.
 

If it looks like an albino turd, talks like an albino turd, and smells like an albino turd, then its still a turd.
 

Is he wearing a Hefty Steel Sak as a pair of pants?
 

He forgot to remove the bracelet after his two-week stint in the mental ward.

- Allah Choad
 

@ darksock

My sentiments exactly. I thought Malkovich accepted a role as a douche and was getting into character.
 

I know this website is devoted to the unfair pairing of douche and hott, but, without hyperbole, this might be the most sorrowful example ever to grace the page. Yes, all scrotes that have appeared on HCwDB have been deplorable bags of excrement, but at least they have all muscles or expensive clothes or a raging inferiority complex that blinds them to the hilarity of their situation. This guy, this DOUCHE, is pale, flabby, poorly dressed, unattractive, and, from appearances, not wealthy. The hott around whom he has draped his pasty, fleshy arm is tanned, taut, perky, and gorgeous. A universe in which justice and nobility and some god damned decency reigns would never allow such a picture to be taken. I am offended on a molecular level.
 

kind of a Billy Corgan look about him, too.
 

Buckys wood if it could.
To short to hang i suppose
 

Bucky is sucky.

I would travel through the Camp des Cremats, and scale Aetna and shout the verses from Hölderlin’s Empedocles taking as a model Dietrich von Bern’s path to the afterlife, if my echoes might reach the soft ear canal of Long Island Tanned Hott’s dead pagan ancestors who were turned to ash in a blazing fire of rose thorn caused by Donar-Thor‘s carelessness with his bottle of Grey Goose.
 

Yea he looks a little like malkovich and a young forsythe too
 

Bucky is an obvious choice for the next weekly.....my god what a garbage 'bag
 

I'd like to attemt to lick the tan off'n this little senorita, possibly finishing the rest of her Corona in the process.
 

@ Big Boutros

I guess you've never seen Droopy McScrote and Surfer Kelly if you are thinking that this is a molecular level offense.

Luckily, this one is the hot Waldettes. I'd like more pics of her, please, DB1.
 

its been a while but i think this is the scene where john matrix impales him on a broken boiler pipe and utters the classic line "let off some steam bennett..."
 

@ Jean Claude Van Douche

That was beautiful, man. It brought a tear to my eye.

And by brought a tear to my eye, I mean Long Island Tanned Hott gives me an aching boner.

- Allah Choad
 

For reference.....

The Waldettes from 06-04-2009 and again from 06-03-2009.

Re: UFO Destroyers' comment about the lovely Surfer Kelly.....oh, and Droopy McScrote.....
 

Oh, and one hour 'til showtime.....
 

I can only imagine the conversation between this hottie and her best friend regarding her hookup with Bucky. It goes something like this:

Hottie: But he is so sweet with me.
BFF: He's a douchebag.
Hottie: But he's never asked me for anal sex.
BFF: He's a douchebag.
Hottie: But he's only jizzed on my face once.
BFF: Really, only once?
Hottie: Yes, and...
BFF: Does he have a friend?

And a second hottie is claimed by the DB tribe. No logic can ever explain such sad hookups.
 

MoeDouche, just how many ISRGOWH trailers have you seen? Damn!
 

@wheezer

ISRGOWH...you lost me. But if this is about porn trailers, I'd say enough to induce temporary blindness on a regular basis...
 

"ISRGOWH" = DB1's show, "Is She Really Going Out With HIm?"

I figure your script will be fairly closely followed on just about any episode.
 

Im speechless.. is this some kinda sick joke or is this real? How would a hott of that caliber even want to come within 100yrds of that guy? Running with the Goose... more like running with teh devil!! And as for you dark and dangerous bikini hot: I would scoot my bare ass over a red ant nest while reading my 500 page pre-calculus book just for your kind graces.. Lose the douche for god sake woman!
 

Does he have some kind of gyroscope rigged up to his hit to keep it that way? WTF?
 

I shudder to think of those black gloves groping their way around shortly after this picture was taken...
 

Her? And Him? Looks like the later half of my day is going to consist of looking up Carradine's inverted scorpion move.
 

Scrototypical douche is just that.( nice little woody, pudjacker ) Hell, maybe he is a turd burglar and didn't want his fingerprints on the evidence. Skin cancer hott is hot. Plus those cool ranch doritos are closer to her hind quarters than i'll ever be.
 

Hey look at this creep. His popping a little small tent in his pants. What's with this guy? Is he sporting a hamster penis? I think he does cause he is wearing gloves to avoid getting a rash on his hamster penis.
 

@ Barry

Love your name. LOL!!

- Allah Choad
 

I have seen many pics of this couple and they have been intimate. He has Only God Can Judge Me tattooed on his flabby belly.
 

I echo the sentiments of Allah Choad (3:07 p.m.) - Barry, make that a Blogger account before someone else steals it!



@Douche Vader, 2:33 p.m. -

Never fear - he's wearing the Hefty "Cinch Sac" pants because that's all he did that evening.
 

Well, he did take of his shades.
 

Actually, this guy is security for DJ Pustule who was hired to help these suburban spring breakers "keep it real" by spinning some gangsta tunes at a house party. Sadly, the only thing he's absorbed from exposure to the music is diction (he uses the words "respect" and "ask" lots but can't pronounce either). The gloves are a "tactical" affectation in case he has to "handle ma bidness up in here." Given the weak semi on display, later he'll be sniffing the left glove while the right one will be busy...
 

An apt metaphor:

Disgusting Skin Disease Images
 

Yeah, like I am going to really click on a link that reads "Disgusting Skin Disease Images."
 

The gloves are only a diversion. Focus, my friends: It is not the ridiculous, it is the sublime.

-black wife beater
-rubber pants
-wrist tat
-chin pubes
-over-sized ear bling
-teensy boner.

I believe that in the face of only two moves, LITH could have saved herself for me. But in face of a subtle symphony of societal wrongness she has succumbed.

All is lost. All is wrong.
 

That Disgusting Skin Disease Images link is not that bad. And by 'not that bad' i mean Why oh why I clicked on that link!
 

NO! We must resist! We must carry onward carrying the bag hunter banner and planting it in this guy's ASS!

Which would then have the banner removed so the pole could be shoved until it came out the bag's mouth so he could be roasted and then fed to wild dogs.

Ahhhhhh rage my old friend, there you are.
 

might i suggest, next waldettes pic we have a guess the trampstamp contest.

these girls are a motivated encounter marketing team for corona's "big ass beers" and goose...
 

When the garbage truck rolls by, the whole idea is to throw out the garbage, not retrieve it. Hefty Hefty Cinch Sak pants with no sack. Apparently, she didn't see the biohazard symbol on his right wrist. She must have been turned on by the Undertaker Gloves he bought from Kaybee Toys. It is such a shame. She is so hott and yet is about to be defiled by Oscar the Grouchbag.

-Douche Bauer
 

Can someone please explain to me the whole "party by the washing machine" thing? I have never, EVER seen that shit in my life until I started besotting this site with my filth. Seriously. I've been to some of the most heinous house parties ever (ahem, 15 years ago, ahem) and the went to every damn place BUT the laundry room.

I presume, in my bitchy jadedness, that the host/ess of these parties doesn't want mom's carpets to get trashed so everyone is confined to the mud room (tiled room for laundry, muddy boots and wet coats, suburban rich fucks all have one in their McMansions) to keep the spillage cleanable and hideable. And I can assure you, if this party involves these two failed abortions, and Grey Goose is served with Corona and Doritos, (Cool Ranch, natch!) we are talking underage suburban dumbfucks tearing it up while mom is out of town.

And now I've answered my own question. If I type long enough, I alwys get an answer. I should get on that cure for cancer business now....
 

Douche Bauer:

"Oscar the Grouchbag" FTW!!!!!!
 

Oh, Medusa, the party by the washing machine is to be able to toss the sweat, vomit and cum-stained garments right in...

And the secret's out...the seriously pricey booze is hidden in the washer or dryer...cuz NOBODY does regular laundry...
 

and...

3) wearing grey satin culottes gathered at the waistline and waddling around like the Grey Goose that he is.

She is SERIOUS hott to his choadwankery
 

WOW! She is brutally hot. Oh yeah, and he is brutally gay....kudos loser, you win hands down for fag of the year.
 

i like the sticker's reflection on his forehead. very becoming.
 

holy shit Long Island Hott's botox is already acting up on her.

@ Mr. White 12:40 PM,

his pants will probably go before his gloves if he ever welds in that outfit. that is, if we overlook all the scars he's going to have on his sleeveless arms.
 

Melanie thought it would be a good idea to take her autistic brother Bucky to a kegger at her fuck buddy's house.

It was fun at first when the guys treated Bucky like a kid brother, putting MMA gloves on him and pimping a lid on his head.

But five minutes later, someone couldn't resist the urge to pants Bucky. That's when the douchebags in the room learned that retard strength is not a myth.
 

Dude must have game, she is sooooooooooo far out of his league, they aren't even on the same planet. Hell, they are from different dimensions.
 

Where do these micro chicks come from, you know, the ones with torsos the size of Corona bottles? This one, the bottle stretches from her gash to her third rib...I know even my small dick would rupture something, no?
 

Nothing gets a Hott, hotter then a 36 pack of Bud Light & a bag of Doritos. The Douche has class and dare I say he might of got some ass.
 

Those gloves are designed for jerking off Clydesdale horses. I had to buy myself a pair.....and I don't OWN a Clydesdale....
 

jeebus, this is the worst one yet.

i need to get over to your country and sort this shyte out myself, this is worse than no universal health care and questionable wars of pre-emptive intervention.

even i would stand a chance with that hott if she'll stoop that low...
 

What's with all the puds with hott chicks lately. Is the universe so unfair?
 

Bucky has that look of sly ineptitude that keeps us coming back to this site. Did he just luck into being a grey nylon wearing waste of scrote stank, or has he spent hours on end in the clearance section of Dick's weighing the visual impact of the multitude of combinations available? I really want to know.
 

god has judged you; young little grasshopper. And he say's you are a tool and a closet lust of young boys. this sloot bag loves it when you cum in her mouth. wanna know how i know? i work with her and I drill her mouth with my cock on her lunch break so get lost little grasshopper.
 

I think I've met this guy! If it IS the same guy, he's way young, very impressionable, and has served time. None of this excuses him, but might explain a lot.
 

Bucky my ass.. That's Private Pyle right there.

http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/080219/Oscars/Vincent-DOnofrio-Full_l.jpg
 

Er, uh, DARKSOCK, I bet you've got bushy fetlocks, too...

Just sayin'.
 

I must admit that a bit of my under priced gas station coffee came back up a bit to the big B. Could have been the sock he stuffed in to give the shiny bag bulge or trauma of having a hott so close to his axed up pits. Can't quite make out the wrist tat, is that a gangsta "DB" or am I projecting? Would that make him a self proclaimed, hence not eligible for the honor?
 

It is frustrating enough to see giant roid filled douches with fake tans in Armani Exchange with hotts. At the very least, it takes effort to be that douchey.

Now, we basically have a pasty white dude in a $5 Walmart wifebeater and $10 Champion mesh shorts and bicycle gloves with a hott. Is it possible to have a douchebag gene? ... because it seems douchery goes beyond designer clothing, fake tan, hair gel and roids.

This may be a missing link douchebag. Or a rare sighting of a douchebag in its natural state.
 

@ Anonymous, perhaps he is douchebagois?
 

Apparently they met both getting their eyebrows waxed @ the same salon.
The gloves are to protect his finely manicured nails.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

Yo, tell em your dating a hand model. That's why I got to rock the gloves.
 

Gotta love the reflection of the stickers onto his forehead
 

This is Bullshit...No Way this Clown is humping that without paying $$$....LOL!
 

Its a travesty that a hot like that would fall for a world class pud like this but oh well the power of grey goose and small pecker can sometimes do it
 

um yummy, spread those brown pussy lips and lets take a gander the pink parade. slobber slobber slobber.
 

The best thing to do with douches like this is to grab them from behind, securely tie their arms behind them, soak them in kerosene, light up some white phosphorus flares on them, and then heave their still-smoking carcasses into a wood chipper or tire shredder. Then and only then can you be sure that they won't procreate ;)
 

this whore loves the your cock in her mouth resessatation.
 

you see bucky has a little turtle popping his head up in his grey shorts. LOL
 

Those Douchecycle gloves and shiny scrotorevealer pants are definitely from WalMart. Perhaps he is a Thrifty Douche? Or Welfare Douche?
 

Love the way she holds the beer as if it were a cock. But I digress. She is hott and he is a piece of shit.
I am really offended because I love on Long-Guyland and I am stuck with these douche-tards. One day I will blow up all of the bridges and set fire to the place as watch from across the LI Sound. The grease fire will burn out of control.
 

Correction: I LIVE on LI. There is nothing to love.