Friday, June 05, 2009
Friday Thoughts and Links
Here's E-BLO, The Electric Blight Orchestra, now maintaining an absolutely blank douche-face in the presence of various tasty collegiate hotts in three pictures in a row.
It's like Monday's HCwDB of the Week is already over, and it's only Friday.
Another week of thigh hott lust and choadscrote mock comes to a close. Alls I know is I'm eating Fig Newtons and downing at least two bottles of Thunderbird by Sundown.
Here's your links:
Noted uberdouchologist Arthur Kade rides vacuous narcissism into a blip of pointless media attention. Keep staring at yourself, Artie. Maybe something'll show up eventually.
Speaking of Philly wankscrote, today is Mike Fazio's birthday. I wish I could retroactive erase knowing who "Mike Fazio" is. Maybe if I drink harder tonight.
So when did buying lingerie online begin to resemble the auditions for "Casting Couch #83"? And why no librarian hotties?
Speaking of weightlifting guido-face poo, do not click on this link. I told you not to click on that link.
Milwaukee Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun is launching a line of douche-wear. For when Ed Hardy isn't scrotey enough.
Euro Conquistador and 2007 internet meme, The Techno Viking, battles none other than HCwDB's own Jorge in Technoviking versus Vernon Koekemoer. With a strange dash of Chuck Norris.
In South Korea, Axe Bodyspray turns a female dormitory into a calendar of daily hotness. Nice to objectify women as daily objects to be acquired, Axe Marketing Team. I would never do that here at HCwDB. Mmmm, boobie hottie suckle thigh.
And finally... your tropical paradise Ass Pear La Plante.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 1:25 PM 
Comments:
<< Home
"Supertangas" - a "tanga" must be an ass cheek.
(No, I'm not "The Observation Specialist." I don't have that kind of talent.)
(No, I'm not "The Observation Specialist." I don't have that kind of talent.)
OK, I get the virtual reality stuff but this 'Knickers Pickers' is just out there.
What's next? A webcam with models trying out thongs per one's commands?!?
What's next? A webcam with models trying out thongs per one's commands?!?
Re: The Fazio bash:
"This event has 168 confirmed guests"
"Not Attending (1,717)"
I'm sure those numbers will change, and more for the latter.....
"This event has 168 confirmed guests"
"Not Attending (1,717)"
I'm sure those numbers will change, and more for the latter.....
Next up the maker's of women's trim and shave stuff will allow us to perform similiar tricks.
# posted by 
: 1:44 PM
: 1:44 PM
Hey DB1, Ass Pear La Plante is spectacular but can you show us her face sometime?
# posted by : 1:53 PM
: 1:53 PM
Wow, this is my first time reading about Arthur Kade. My God. I mean I've heard the name, but I didn't bother going to the site until now. He's like a younger version of Gator.
# posted by : 1:53 PM
: 1:53 PM
While E-Blo is definitely going to be a worthy contender, let us not forget the abomination that was Mammy Miami. This should be a contentiously fought battle, between two abhorrent competitors, indeed.
Like many of my brethren here, I too, could not resist the diabolical serpent on my shoulder that swiftly deceived my fingers into clicking the weightlifting toddler’s link. {shiver} I would gladly click every one of BCS’s links for the rest of my life, just for the chance to go back and un-see what muh’eyes just seen. Okay. Maybe not. But I would consider it.
Meanwhile, I’m considering this bottle of Old Potrero that sits before me. She spins tales of far off isles inhabited only by Ass Pear and her upturned heart-shaped kin. She recites epic poems about sentient boobies who walk around communicating in the only words they know, “schlluurp, schlluurp, knuck, knuck, schlluurp.” All the while, she strums her lute to the soothing sounds of The Cramps, while conjuring images of Cyclopean architecture. And all is well in the Crucial household.
A toast to all of you fellow ‘bagunhters. {clink}
A mighty toast to you Boss! {clink}
Peace and love, peace and love.
(schlluurp, schlluurp, knuck, knuck, schlluurp)
Like many of my brethren here, I too, could not resist the diabolical serpent on my shoulder that swiftly deceived my fingers into clicking the weightlifting toddler’s link. {shiver} I would gladly click every one of BCS’s links for the rest of my life, just for the chance to go back and un-see what muh’eyes just seen. Okay. Maybe not. But I would consider it.
Meanwhile, I’m considering this bottle of Old Potrero that sits before me. She spins tales of far off isles inhabited only by Ass Pear and her upturned heart-shaped kin. She recites epic poems about sentient boobies who walk around communicating in the only words they know, “schlluurp, schlluurp, knuck, knuck, schlluurp.” All the while, she strums her lute to the soothing sounds of The Cramps, while conjuring images of Cyclopean architecture. And all is well in the Crucial household.
A toast to all of you fellow ‘bagunhters. {clink}
A mighty toast to you Boss! {clink}
Peace and love, peace and love.
(schlluurp, schlluurp, knuck, knuck, schlluurp)
@ anon erm...above
we have seen a little bit of her face in a previous picture, please pay attention...ACHTUNG
ooh, A. La Plante, may i call you Pear?
oh...ok, ooh Miss La Plante, you seem to be in paradise...who'd have thought that such a shitty, cheating football team could have came from the same locale as your derrière.
who'd have thought that your unpopular political leader would have had the ridiculous idea of invading our sovereign territory (even if it does happen to lie a few miles off your coastline) in a misguided effort to re-ignite support for his failing government and unpopular economic policies but didn't count on the S.A.S coming over and kicking the fuck out of your conscripted troops?
have you ever tried Yorkshire Puddings?
we have seen a little bit of her face in a previous picture, please pay attention...ACHTUNG
ooh, A. La Plante, may i call you Pear?
oh...ok, ooh Miss La Plante, you seem to be in paradise...who'd have thought that such a shitty, cheating football team could have came from the same locale as your derrière.
who'd have thought that your unpopular political leader would have had the ridiculous idea of invading our sovereign territory (even if it does happen to lie a few miles off your coastline) in a misguided effort to re-ignite support for his failing government and unpopular economic policies but didn't count on the S.A.S coming over and kicking the fuck out of your conscripted troops?
have you ever tried Yorkshire Puddings?
# posted by : 2:31 PM
: 2:31 PM
Glad you used the link DB1, makes me feel like I'm part of something bigger than myself. Something wondrous and magical. Something beautiful and kind. Something with pictures of scantily clad boobies and uber curvaceous poopers.
@Crucial my days of shock links are long behind me. now i only link to happy things.
have a nice weekend fuckers.
have a nice weekend fuckers.
Yeah, you'd a thought I'd learned my lesson about clicking suspicious links from BCS.
You'd be wrong.
@ Crucial:
O you Bastard.
Old Potrero.
I've got a bottle of the 18th Century style in front of me right now as well. That was the only thing I got myself from the San Francisco trip last month, and it involved a douchebag and my butt getting raped.
I walk into a liquor store a couple of blocks over from Moscone convention center North around 9 pm looking for either of the Potrero Ryes or the gin. There's nobody behind the counter but I keep hearing grunts. I was thinking the store had just been robbed and the clerk was wounded on the floor; I lean over the counter and a textbook douche, replete with Ed Hardy Tee, is doing push-ups.
Long story short, I paid $120 for one fucking bottle of rye. He fucked me.
So, I'll save my bottle for a very special occasion. Sip one for me.
And by "one" and mean "get it out of the neck and down into the shoulders".
I would drink Old Potrero whiskey out of Arthur Kade's left nostril if I had to.
But I'd prefer instead to slurp it out of the small of AssPear La Plante's perfect back.
I just emptied my left nut.
You'd be wrong.
@ Crucial:
O you Bastard.
Old Potrero.
I've got a bottle of the 18th Century style in front of me right now as well. That was the only thing I got myself from the San Francisco trip last month, and it involved a douchebag and my butt getting raped.
I walk into a liquor store a couple of blocks over from Moscone convention center North around 9 pm looking for either of the Potrero Ryes or the gin. There's nobody behind the counter but I keep hearing grunts. I was thinking the store had just been robbed and the clerk was wounded on the floor; I lean over the counter and a textbook douche, replete with Ed Hardy Tee, is doing push-ups.
Long story short, I paid $120 for one fucking bottle of rye. He fucked me.
So, I'll save my bottle for a very special occasion. Sip one for me.
And by "one" and mean "get it out of the neck and down into the shoulders".
I would drink Old Potrero whiskey out of Arthur Kade's left nostril if I had to.
But I'd prefer instead to slurp it out of the small of AssPear La Plante's perfect back.
I just emptied my left nut.
I'm starting to wonder if ol' E-Bl-O is some kind of mannequin. Maybe he was flash frozen, only to be thawed out when Earth is ruled by a bunch of DAMNED DIRTY APES!
It could be that he actually has a job as one of the Queens Royal Guards at Buckingham Palace. (Someone will get that one; we have an intelligent bunch here!)
It could be that he actually has a job as one of the Queens Royal Guards at Buckingham Palace. (Someone will get that one; we have an intelligent bunch here!)
# posted by : 2:55 PM
: 2:55 PM
@DB1
For the knicker site: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU lol
I bow down in respect...just once tho; why steal from Supertangas, man !??
For the knicker site: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU lol
I bow down in respect...just once tho; why steal from Supertangas, man !??
# posted by : 2:55 PM
: 2:55 PM
this line from AK
"I am human like the rest of you, just with bigger dreams and more tools than almost anyone."
but instead of "with" add "a".
and delete "dreams and more"
"I am human like the rest of you, just with bigger dreams and more tools than almost anyone."
but instead of "with" add "a".
and delete "dreams and more"
# posted by : 3:26 PM
: 3:26 PM
@ DarkSock
glub, glub, glub, glub.... bottles empty & speedboat is haulin'ass across the gulf @ midnight, right?
glub, glub, glub, glub.... bottles empty & speedboat is haulin'ass across the gulf @ midnight, right?
E-BlO's lack of expression is an obvious subconscious manefestation of his latent homosexuality (not that there's anything wrong with it).
# posted by : 3:57 PM
: 3:57 PM
I RSVP'ed for Mike's party.
I just saw a guy masturbating in the alley behind the bar I own.
OK. That was an episode of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. But it was a funny episode.
I just saw a guy masturbating in the alley behind the bar I own.
OK. That was an episode of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. But it was a funny episode.
# posted by : 4:35 PM
: 4:35 PM
@ the observation specialist
everyone in this photo has a membership at Guido Tan Salon
E-Blo gets the 1,000 yard stare from repeated applications of "lamp"
everyone in this photo has a membership at Guido Tan Salon
E-Blo gets the 1,000 yard stare from repeated applications of "lamp"
I too clicked on the link fortuneatly half a bottle of the Captain may have saved me from gouging out my eyes
I can honestly say that the KnickerPicker is the closest I've ever gotten to telling a babe to come closer then turn around.
...Meh, I'll take it.
...Meh, I'll take it.
The countdown is on for 'Sock's drunken posting these evening; when he laments the fact that he's knee deep in his bottle of Ol' Po' and won't remember shit the next day.
But it'll all be worth it.
Shit.
I best catch up.
But it'll all be worth it.
Shit.
I best catch up.
I'm a sucker for BCS links... they're like rum to sailors.... where'd you find the Leprechaun?
....hmmmm, rum!
....hmmmm, rum!
E-Blo needs a web-cam and a slap-whoar with a big mouth to commercially brand his name.
Ass Pear LaPlante needs a face and a partridge in a pear tree to justify her root origins.
bcs needs link-clickers to get his lickers.
Axe bodyspray needs Paul Bunyan, or Paul Bunyan needs Axe bodyspray. Take your pick.
Everyone wishing to dress in tatt-wear needs their own ink and airbrush, sans the protective face-filter, to put the purveyors out of business; hopefully they'll breathe in enough ink droplets to give themselves COPD.
Ass Pear LaPlante needs a face and a partridge in a pear tree to justify her root origins.
bcs needs link-clickers to get his lickers.
Axe bodyspray needs Paul Bunyan, or Paul Bunyan needs Axe bodyspray. Take your pick.
Everyone wishing to dress in tatt-wear needs their own ink and airbrush, sans the protective face-filter, to put the purveyors out of business; hopefully they'll breathe in enough ink droplets to give themselves COPD.
# posted by : 6:50 PM
: 6:50 PM
Regarding "don't click this link" warnings issued by DB1...
DB1 is like the venerable 'Sarge' character in classic war movies-- he's seen the heavy stuff, the douchiest, scrotiest stuff. Slogged his way up Scrote Chop Hill, battled on the beaches of Choadreggador. Made the landing on DB Day. Seen a village of stage 4 bleeths Axe-naped without blinking an eye.
Seen the stuff that breaks a man.
Whereas we, you, are "the Kid".
So...
Don't. Click. the. Link.
--VS
DB1 is like the venerable 'Sarge' character in classic war movies-- he's seen the heavy stuff, the douchiest, scrotiest stuff. Slogged his way up Scrote Chop Hill, battled on the beaches of Choadreggador. Made the landing on DB Day. Seen a village of stage 4 bleeths Axe-naped without blinking an eye.
Seen the stuff that breaks a man.
Whereas we, you, are "the Kid".
So...
Don't. Click. the. Link.
--VS
# posted by : 6:59 PM
: 6:59 PM
Arthur Kade grew up, mostly, with his grandma. When her mastectomy prevented her from sleeping in a bed, she had to sleep on a couch. Arthur, unable to sleep comfortably since she couldn't, slept on the other couch so much he got scoliosis. Sorry. No matter what, nottadouche.
# posted by : 7:54 PM
: 7:54 PM
drunken darksock. where art thou?
damn just caught up on technoviking. i make my living off the internet, i can't believe i totally missed the technoviking craze of 2007. that video is amazing.
there is a video out there now which i hope becomes viral. it is a guy named ricky. no affiliation with the ricky from this site. but just like him, he rules. Please share this video with all your friends and colleagues if you find it to be as amazing as I do.
mostly, i just wanna use words like "mannanipulate" and acronyms like "RIPB" (rest in peace bitch) and have people know what I'm talking about.
damn just caught up on technoviking. i make my living off the internet, i can't believe i totally missed the technoviking craze of 2007. that video is amazing.
there is a video out there now which i hope becomes viral. it is a guy named ricky. no affiliation with the ricky from this site. but just like him, he rules. Please share this video with all your friends and colleagues if you find it to be as amazing as I do.
mostly, i just wanna use words like "mannanipulate" and acronyms like "RIPB" (rest in peace bitch) and have people know what I'm talking about.
Y'ever want to feel like a douchebag, go out around the neighborhood on a busy early evening the Friday before a yard sale applying signs on corners.
The old lady promised my front yard tomorrow to a friend that is moving from an apartment building with a strict " No Garage Sales" rule.
At precisely 5:00 AM tomorrow this gal will be at my door to set up.
At precisely 5:15 AM the first bargain hunter will be pulling up in their '87 Dodge Caravan.
Fuck me. Hard.
At precisely 4:00 PM the Bosox play Texas in Fenway and I will crack a frosty cold one.
The old lady promised my front yard tomorrow to a friend that is moving from an apartment building with a strict " No Garage Sales" rule.
At precisely 5:00 AM tomorrow this gal will be at my door to set up.
At precisely 5:15 AM the first bargain hunter will be pulling up in their '87 Dodge Caravan.
Fuck me. Hard.
At precisely 4:00 PM the Bosox play Texas in Fenway and I will crack a frosty cold one.
Hey all you mutherfükers!
You do those drugs; you go do that alcohol; you end up dead - and you burn. Burn… in… hell!
You do those drugs; you go do that alcohol; you end up dead - and you burn. Burn… in… hell!
I've been trying for hours to get her to assclap... Arrow left and then right rapidly doesn't work.
Think I'll just shake my head real fast.
Think I'll just shake my head real fast.
I promised my dad that BCS would meet him BEFORE he died. And THEN, he had the audacity to go out with someone else… AFTER telling me that he was falling back in love with me.
Well, buster…
… That shit don’t fly with me!
Well, buster…
… That shit don’t fly with me!
Sorry, I got lost at Korean female dormitory and have just now awakened. Now to merge that lingering image with Tangas and I'm back to sleep a happy camper. Well, in 5 minutes I'm back to sleep.
# posted by : 12:53 AM
: 12:53 AM
in fact i think she should have her own country.
her coins could be minted with a picture of her derrière.
however she would have to have a very strict immigration policy to keep the male/female population ratio in check.
maybe something like 1 male and 1 female...i.e. me and her.
her coins could be minted with a picture of her derrière.
however she would have to have a very strict immigration policy to keep the male/female population ratio in check.
maybe something like 1 male and 1 female...i.e. me and her.
# posted by : 3:45 AM
: 3:45 AM
It's not everyday one can click a link on this site and end up watching a video of the Young Richard Nixon that we never knew, but bcs has given us such a link.
Bitchin'!
Bitchin'!
# posted by : 7:14 AM
: 7:14 AM
If this faggot wants to wear dog tags so badly, why is he not serving? I know a lot of Marines that would cripple this homo if they had the chance, over those tags alone.
# posted by : 7:37 AM
: 7:37 AM
Note in the Philly article on Kade it says the comments about his nose and lisp have gotten to him (keep it up people!) but that he apparently is oblivious to the deeper notion that he is indeed a douchbag of the highest order. You're giving misogyny a bad name. Arthur, you're what your grandma meant when she used the word "nekulturny."
# posted by : 12:33 PM
: 12:33 PM
HOLY SHIT; I just emailed the "Ricky" video to everyone I know. It's the best thing I've seen since "GET OUT YOUR FUCKEN CHECKBOOK!".
"That shit don't fly with me.....use your fuckin' mind"
"That shit don't fly with me.....use your fuckin' mind"
Yeah. I had more than a "snifter" of the rye whiskey last night. It's 126 proof; I wound up gargling down half the fifth, then polishing off a half pint of Wild Turkey 101, just so I wouldn't "waste" the rest of the Old Potrero.
Today I feel like a used old condom filled with a dying drunk hobo's dying gasp.
Who am I kidding? I'm finishing that bitch off tonight. Fuck YOU, liver!
Today I feel like a used old condom filled with a dying drunk hobo's dying gasp.
Who am I kidding? I'm finishing that bitch off tonight. Fuck YOU, liver!
I knew it! I refrained and limited myself to two high-balls and spent the rest of the evening nursing my Pachuga Del Maguey.
Still hungded over though.
Still hungded over though.
Please find a new Ass Pear. La Plante's ass would deflate if she would just go poo. She's backed up. It looks like it's trying to escape from her. Thanks DB1.
# posted by : 7:24 PM
: 7:24 PM
Ricky & I beat each other around the head with whiskey bottles last night
... we emptied 'em 1st ofcourse
possibly the 1st BCS link I've clicked that didn't make me seek a happy place
... we emptied 'em 1st ofcourse
possibly the 1st BCS link I've clicked that didn't make me seek a happy place
Y'know, it may just be that Kade is a twisted genius. The Gawker article that he links to from his site that portrays him as something of a 'hurt boy', lncludes the mention of his wish to become a world famous actor and also the jekyll/hyde nature of his internet persona.
Has he intentionally sown the seeds and nurtured the disgust of the internets to such a degree? At this point, a smart casting agent might ask "how many people would pay to watch a movie simply because it includes a scene where this guy dies in a horribly gruesome fashion?"
You would, wouldn't you? Just to see how much he sucks, and fist pump while he takes a chest full of cannon rounds.
Shit!! SHIT!!
--VS
Has he intentionally sown the seeds and nurtured the disgust of the internets to such a degree? At this point, a smart casting agent might ask "how many people would pay to watch a movie simply because it includes a scene where this guy dies in a horribly gruesome fashion?"
You would, wouldn't you? Just to see how much he sucks, and fist pump while he takes a chest full of cannon rounds.
Shit!! SHIT!!
--VS
# posted by : 9:41 PM
: 9:41 PM
E-BLO loves his "white studded belt always worn side saddle" I'll bet if the first pic were a lil lower we would see it there too!!
But hey skippy why R U so somber all the time?!!!
But hey skippy why R U so somber all the time?!!!
# posted by : 9:47 PM
: 9:47 PM
oh my fucking god i may be violating the cosmic powers that be but i do believe that the Knicker Picker gives me a stronger hard on than Ass Pear la Plante.
there. i said it.
there. i said it.
Best comment on the Ryan Braun thread:
=========================
Bunkie Perkins
6:11 PM on Wed Jun 3 2009
Meanwhile, Prince Fielder just release his own line of oversized tees, MANATEE
=========================
=========================
Bunkie Perkins
6:11 PM on Wed Jun 3 2009
Meanwhile, Prince Fielder just release his own line of oversized tees, MANATEE
=========================
Knickerpicker = It places the lotion in the basket or else it gets the hose again.
Post a Comment
# posted by : 7:10 AM
: 7:10 AM << Home
7/LI>
