Is that Taarna's bird on his shoulder?
 

Tumor can have her. She's passed through several tollbooths and stopped at a rest area on the highway to bleeth. Check back with these two in a couple of years: face-down in a ditch outside Vegas, being violated by a meth-head. My money's on her, though I wish it would be him.
 

Seriously, do 'bags just pack on the hairspray right after getting out of bed? I guess from the Axe commercials, they don't shower anyway, so I figured they took "care" of their hair in the same manner.



The guy with the sloppy yet burgeoning mullet in the back left thinks the camera's on him, and he's just about to get up and kick some ass.
 

Is that his nose or do his shades have a cock?
 

/golfclap
 

@DarkSock, 12:22 p.m. -

He's got a Play-Doh! "mark of the bag" on his face.....?!?!?
 

I think the 'puffins' are actually supposed to represent "swallows"


Take from that what you will..
 

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Damn DB1, you're on fire today.

Tumors, puffins, fuck I think the space-time continuum folded in on itself for a second there because all I have is a hearty "holy shit" for that.
 

Stupidest. Tats. Ever.

Luke Wilson's Tumor: "Yea bra! Fuck Yeah! Can you like hook me up with like an abstract sparrow/puffin sort of bird, and maybe a nautical star? I really want something original, ya know?"

Flea-Market Tattoo 'Artist': "Well, if you really want something original, maybe we should do a full sleeve of arctic sparrows and nautical stars. The birds can fly in opposite directions, using the nautical stars as, uh, guidance. The idea alone is so hideous and bereft of meaning there's no possible way someone could have done it."

Luke Wilson's Tumor: "Bra! That's like the most amazing idea I've ever heard! It's like a metaphor for all my trials and tribulations as a young dude - working out, waxing my chest, searching for the perfect dog tags and Tag Heuer watch, and just, like, never knowing which direction is left or right. That shit is deep as fuck brah! Ink me up!"

Flea-Market Tattoo 'Artist': "That'll be six thousand dollars?"
 

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Do people ever actually go in the water at these pool clubs in Vegas? And if they so, how do the filters handle such a suffocating quantity of gel?
 

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it looks like Billy the blind kid in 4-C did the tattoos of Petey on this choad's arm.










anyone? anyone?
 

Did they buy the sunglasses at the buy-1-N-get-1 free store? It sure looks that way.
 

Is he wearing the old "Ferrari" collapsible sunglasses? those are douchetastic!
 

@Wheezer 12:18

I learned from watching DB1's show this weekend that yes, they do indeed pack on the hairspray as soon as they get up, for at least 20 minutes. The writer for that show should get an award, so good. However I am now frightened of how much douche vocabulary I know. "Obvi"...it makes my soul hurt.

That watch could block out the sun its so god damned big. And can we please stop the coordinating sunglasses? It's freaking me out. It's times like these that I wish we didn't have an atmosphere to protect us from the sun's rays, because then that stupid dogtag would melt right through his skin. Nice tatts, in the "I saw a flash picture on the wall and just had it copied multiple times down my arm" kind of way. It makes me happy knowing that is going to look like shit in about 20 years, and then he'll have to explain to his kids that he got it because he was a douchebag.

She perplexes me. Her arms say she should have more curves, but the rest of her body hasn't caught up. I'm confused.
 

Puffins.

BWAAAHAHAHAAAAAHAHHAAAA.

What a waste of an arm. Nice blank real estate and all he can come up with is nautical stars and Puffswallows. A three-finger punch to the taint of the artist who went along with that, I don't care how much money was involved.

Her hair reminds me of a Davy Crockett coonskin cap, only one made from a skunk.
 

Looks like he ran the 100 yard dash in a 90 yard gym
 

My guess is this guy is a Navy man. I mean, he's got the stars and swallows and those are probably his real dog tags and the watch probably folds out into an aircraft carrier.
 

It's obvi the douche likes Twitter...











Dank...
 

Perhaps he can just borrow a puffy shirt to go over those puffins. I'm sure Seinfeld will concur.
 

Massengill is on fire today. Watch out Dark Sac, you may lose your comedic crown
 

I hope his dog tags hit him in the face when he's two sheets to the wind.
 

"Dark Sac"?



Tanning nude again, 'Sock?
 

They must be at Mission San Juan de Capistrano if there are swallows in the tatts.

Or he's the swallow champion at the Blow-Fest porn site.
 

I just don't understand why a guy with such a terrific bod would cheapen it by covering it with tattoos. "Elegance" is obviously not in this man's vocabulary.
Choosing "less is more" is a concept he never heard of.
 

Kylie Minogue has consistently failed to get a hard on out of me. and the same can be said about this hott.

true story.

but that doesn't exempt tumor bag from mocking.
 

Is that Luke's evil twin Puke? He is quite possibly a top 10 poster boy for HCWDB, he has it all. Cheers to you my good man, your douchitude is off the charts.
 

"I said 'penguins' not 'puffins!' WTF? What kind of fag would come in here and ask for some gay puffin tattoo? Penguins are all fierce and shit. There's a hockey team named after them. Ain't no team in anything called 'The Puffins.' How much do I owe you?"
 

Seriously, does ANYONE have ANY clue as to what the hell the tattoo is supposed to symbolize?? It's not unusual to look at a douche's tattoo and ask the rhetorical question "WTF, who would get that tattooed permanently??"

However, this really makes absolutely no sense at all.

Flat out bizarre. I hope someone can shed some light because I am at a total loss...
 

It's not a tumor.
 

His tattoo is the bird the hot Taarna from Heavy Metal rode.

Taarna

Female Tarakian warrior from the groundbreaking 1981 cult hit "Heavy Metal". Taarna is one, if not The, most popular character from the film.
Taarna and her bird like to fly over canyons....

http://www.denofgeek.com/siteimage/scale/800/600/39662.png
 

Actually, to get this picture, the Luke Wilson would have to shave his Tumor's chest and douche up its hair.
 

@pfah

Nice Dumb & Dumber reference.

Quite appropriate with the picture in my opinion.
 

They look like highly stylized swallows (no, seriously. swallows) which suggest either that he's a fan of traditional naval lore or he just likes buggery.

It is, however, the crystal necklace that puts him over the top in terms of tainthood.

My guess is that seeing this photo might explain some of Owen Wilson's more self-destructive behavior.

I do like the polky dots quite a bit.