Spiky frowy and pooey.
 

Burn his face off with a blowtorch and he'd look like he was in a Warner Bros. cartoon.

Pennywise
 

Ah fine example of blowfishdoucheous scrotius.
 

i see this bag around alot. he is an suburban-urban commando. he tells folks out in the subdivisions named after non-existant topographical features rung how he has cred in the city. and while he does spend time in withing metropolis limits, its always in the most suburban styled places. you won't find him in the black spraypainted windowed dive where bands play and the whole place smells like nicotene and silicone based lube. no he also demands that people in his presence straighten up and only say things he can agree with. basically he gets offended if anyone acts in a way he can't go along while still somehow believing that people really are how they present themselves to him, and if their not they damn sure should be.
none of this makes him an arrogant prick mind you, he just knows people, and thus whats best.

don't like her clothes or hair, i'm sure it was his idea.
 

Ha ha ha, is he chanelling the Statue of Liberty? Brilliant.
 

It's like a Michael Bay 'SPLOSION!!! Of gel...and douche.
 

He resembles the Tamarack at exit 44 on the West Virginia Turnpike:

http://i.usatoday.net/travel/_photos/2007/10/24/tamarack-topper.jpg
 

This dork looks like a Sea Cucumber. But Jenny (who can't figure out what hair colour she likes) is besotted with the 'do.
 

The only thing that saved Chris's life that day was the quick thinking of Dr. Ron Merrick, genious plastic surgeon, and the nearby submarine mine casing that had washed ashore nearby.
 

Pinhead never told anyone about his wild night in Cancun, and the bastard son that it yielded.
 

Vinnie Sacromoni's head: That's where cigarettes are grown and harvested.
 

Later that night Shelia would tragically bleed out from a severed femural artery when Vinnie tried going down on her.
 

I imagine they met at a gym and her name is either Jenny or Amber.

She actually bugs me more then him. She and her ilk base their entire existence on snagging a douche like the retard next to her. She'll spawn with him by 25, he'll cheat on her by 27 (that she knows of), they'll break up a few months later, and the cycle will repeat because she needs constant douche validation. Their spawn will continue the tragic dance.

Jenny and/or Amber, it's not to late to save yourself!!
 

@AshleighUK, 10:37 a.m. -

With apologies to Emma Lazarus.....well, to all those with a sense of decency, for that matter:



The New Colostomy 'Bag

Douche-like, this brazen choad of Greek fame,
With no understanding his look will be panned;
Here at his Axe-washed, wretched lap shall land
A sorority woman with no torch, for flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and would maim
Porcupine Hairstyles. His stupid-looking mand'
Tells future bleeth "welcome"; her mild eyes demand
The air-brushed cleavite that twin titties frame.
"Remove your hands from my little rump!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your money 'til you're poor,
Your huddled broheims yearning to bone me,
The wretched refuse of the Jerz shore.
Send these, the classless, salad-tost to me,
I lift my Lamp toward my bedroom door!"



Maintaining the rhyme scheme and meter.....holy crap.....
 

I'm diggin' little Jenny's premium nose job/perfect teeth/baby fat/sorority slut...vibe.Of course she digs "asteroid impact" head.Douche
 

I'm strangely attracted to frumpaluphagus over there. She reminds me of an otter, or a sea lion. "ar ar ar," i hear hear bark. She looks like she's happily run aground in the Florida keys and been rescued by a douchebag.
Without the hair and psychological depravity that attends such spikiness, he might even deserve a nottadouche. so sad.
she on the other hand deserves a nottaseal, because she is an otter.

-Snaggledouche
 

phhhhhhaaaaa wayne people?
 

Jersey Guido and gal pal.

Commutes between NYC, Staten Island et al.

He's a regular Statue of Liberty viewer

Takes on Statue of Liberty persona.

If not Jersey Guido, douchester copying what Guidos unconsciously do, since disease has already spread as Db1 documents on this site.

AshleighUK gets it right.

Source of all spikey hair is therefore the Statue of Liberty, on unconscious level.

Source of Statue of Liberty is France.

Therefore, blame it on France and pass the Source Perrier, it's 94 degrees outdoors and I'm dehydrated.
 

What a looser and complete assclown.
 

Porcupine head---what a clown.
 

She's just so...happy...to be with this 'roid that I'm more annoyed with her than with him. Sadly, what we're seeing is her approaching the "crazy wall;" that barrier of conduct beyond which nothing that she will ever do regarding the opposite sex will ever be completely sane again. When the third bag after this one ruthlessly dumps her for younger meat, she will turn to hunting mid-thirties divorced guys because they would "be there" for her son who has started acting up in daycare. After a few fuck and run relationships she will settle for a newly paroled guy in his early fifties. She will never be clear about exactly what he did to land in the joint but her son will run away from home at 15. She will be too drunk to notice that he took his hairgel with him.
 

@Wheezer 11.37am

I'm British so I had to Wiki the original poem to get the reference. But now I have, I'm even more impressed at your version!
 

Thanks Ashleigh, though had you not made the Statue of Liberty reference, I probably wouldn't have had the inspiration to butcher/rewrite Ms. Lazarus' work.
 

That's not hair gel!
 

I've gotta buy stock in that fucktards gel company? I could retire!
 

Handsdown douciest douch to ever douch.
 

Tracing back the ray vectors in the opposite direction, i.e. into the cranium, I find they intersect at the point occupied by his single brain cell, which is pretty impressive alignment.
 

I'm old enough to be her father. All I can say is thank God for miscarriages - that was a close call.
 

it's not actually hair, he's bald and this is a really bad hat held on by that band
 

I dunno. Looks like the head of a woolly-worm.

Will be a long, hard winter.
 

his hair makes one simple statement, one no prowling bleeth who understands douche symbolism like it was american gangsign language...

douche is saying: mom is making crown roast for dinner.
 

The anemone of my enemy is her friend.....?
 

That hair is so badass, so fierce, he needs an elastic headband thingie to restrain its brute force and to stop it from killing again. With great douche comes great responsibility. Beware, Jenny.

Is the wily 'Splosionhead the mroe venomous stain of Koosh Douche?
 

*more.

Eeeeeeasy there, Ghost of Spell Nazi.
 

this photo's fate was sealed when Ashleigh invoked the Statue of Liberty.

or something.
 

She's cute. He's a douche with a Jolteon head.

-Douche Bauer
 

Is she that needy...? hes gotta be a fudge packer(gay)..........ewwww
 

I need to sign up...love this stuff!!Hes still a batty boy!
 

Wow...where do I even begin? Is he kidding me with his hair. He might even pass for a hot guy with out that hair.

If I saw this Billy Idol wanna be looking porcudouche up in a Club or on the street all I could do is shake my head.

How long did it take this bag to sculpt his hair into perfect porcu-points. And, if thats not bad enough he had to top it off with the douche-head-band.

I bet his bathroom sink is covered in hair spray and Dep Gel.

Now the chick..she just looks too happy to be in the arms of this cocky sucking DB.
 

Street urchin....
 

Spiny anteater
 

Equine sex toy
 

i know this guy, he goes by the name of NJ Juice!! hahaha DB1 put up some more of his pics, he is a complete toolbox!
 

That is not a hair/headband combo. It is actually a cool new hat sold at the Jerz Shore
 

Yarmulke Rag
 

she's not hot. he's a douce, but there's no hott.
 

hahaha, this chick goes to willy p, i seen here stupid ass on campus, hahaha
 

is that her poop face?