Monday, June 29, 2009
Three Votes for #2
All three of the people in this pic voted for #2, as you can tell.
Have you voted in the Weekly yet?
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 10:30 AM 
Comments:
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from left to right, i see a gignormous, mountainous rack, John Malkovich playing the lead role as a douchebag, and Mick Jagger with boobies.
B(.)(.)BIES
rib gondolas
dairy cisterns
meat balloons
right there. on that woman's chest. you can see both. of. them.
she has large breasts on her boob region.
I can see them.....most of them. They look like this:
(.)(.)
rib gondolas
dairy cisterns
meat balloons
right there. on that woman's chest. you can see both. of. them.
she has large breasts on her boob region.
I can see them.....most of them. They look like this:
(.)(.)
@ Pfah
I dunno....I feel kinda funny....Mama Sock told me when I was a boy that if I looked at loose women like that I'd turn to stone....I'm afraid it's already happening....to my pee-pee thingy...should I be scared?
WWMJD (what would Michael Jackson Do?)
Beat it?
I dunno....I feel kinda funny....Mama Sock told me when I was a boy that if I looked at loose women like that I'd turn to stone....I'm afraid it's already happening....to my pee-pee thingy...should I be scared?
WWMJD (what would Michael Jackson Do?)
Beat it?
Her boobs stick out like the sham-wow they cleaned up the table with after Billy May's autopsy.
# posted by 
: 10:45 AM
: 10:45 AM
She's straining her neck backwards because it's the only way she can keep her boobs from banging against her kneecaps.
They'll have to bury her face-down, and even then dude's gonna have to get down in the grave with a couple of post hole diggers
What would look awesome is if she'd paint angry heads on them like they do the noses of A-10 Warthogs.
That would make me feel very special in my pants.
That would make me feel very special in my pants.
want to know what her bras are doing while she's wearing this bikini?
go here: http://www.worldofstock.com/slides/BIN1500.jpg
go here: http://www.worldofstock.com/slides/BIN1500.jpg
Those aren’t boobs; they’re a third pair of legs… she normally just creeps around on all six legs like a praying mantis hunting for a small frog.
As a coda to Darksock 11:51: She once slept-face down on a Tempurpedic. Once she settled in, it took a crane and two acetylene torches to get her back out.
We can't stop here - this is boob country. If we're ever going to get out of here alive, we're going to need some golf shoes.
@ Mr. White 10:47
I think the 1958 Buick Roadmaster 75 has bigger tits than an Edsel. Observe.
However, I'm biased. Most men buy cars as an extension of their penis, I think that's why I bought one of these. Two extra pairs of giant chrome tits. I-am-tittytron-
Those are spectacular on the left, there. I suspect bolt-ons, and if so, that is clearly one of the best jobs I have ever seen, hands on, I mean, down. Holy crap. Either way, I'd be showing off like that too. I'm hoping DB1 also has a photo taken with a fisheye 50 mm macro lens.
I think the 1958 Buick Roadmaster 75 has bigger tits than an Edsel. Observe.
However, I'm biased. Most men buy cars as an extension of their penis, I think that's why I bought one of these. Two extra pairs of giant chrome tits. I-am-tittytron-
Those are spectacular on the left, there. I suspect bolt-ons, and if so, that is clearly one of the best jobs I have ever seen, hands on, I mean, down. Holy crap. Either way, I'd be showing off like that too. I'm hoping DB1 also has a photo taken with a fisheye 50 mm macro lens.
@ BvG:
There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of a boobie binge.
There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of a boobie binge.
Her boobs stick out more than a senior Republican legislator's turgid dong through a Senate men's room gloryhole doily.
This is the South Las Vegas Motel 6 pool. They will nonetheless tell everyone that this was taken in Rehab. Larry's promise that he could get the girls jobs at the Spearmint Rhino also fell short, which was disappointing since they all drove from Milwaukee and Donna had to blow Larry twice in lieu of gas money. Larry got his crack fueled orgy, Donna stayed to try and "make it" in showbiz, and Cyndi took it in the ass from a truck driver all the way back to Wisconsin.
Swingin' free, droopin' low,
boobies tell us this, I know:
Those boobies are the real thing.
Things.
Peaches.
Cling peaches.
Freestones.
Rocks.
Balls.
Tight balls.
boobies tell us this, I know:
Those boobies are the real thing.
Things.
Peaches.
Cling peaches.
Freestones.
Rocks.
Balls.
Tight balls.
# posted by : 1:34 PM
: 1:34 PM
This thread is really picking up in volume.
And by picking up I mean Peachie's boobs.
And by volume I mean Peachie's boobs.
And by picking up I mean Peachie's boobs.
And by volume I mean Peachie's boobs.
# posted by : 1:49 PM
: 1:49 PM
Wow, William H. Macy really gets the chicks.
Her boobs are so big they make me want to masturbate furiously.
Her boobs are so big they make me want to masturbate furiously.
# posted by : 2:00 PM
: 2:00 PM
I have a question for the gallery.
Seeing as how the essence of douche is the pursuit of the hott and the boobie and all of the accoutrements which accompany said things, is it possible for a married person, or even moreso, a father, to be a douchebag?
I believe it is. I refer to this rare breed of douche as simply "douchedads."
Please excuse my egregious comma use.
Seeing as how the essence of douche is the pursuit of the hott and the boobie and all of the accoutrements which accompany said things, is it possible for a married person, or even moreso, a father, to be a douchebag?
I believe it is. I refer to this rare breed of douche as simply "douchedads."
Please excuse my egregious comma use.
# posted by : 2:00 PM
: 2:00 PM
@ Observation Specialist 2:00
An excellent point, and I second the motion. "Douchedad" is a phenomenon that I, too have noticed as of late and was perplexed as to its root causes. I spent part of this past weekend shopping in and around Chicago again, and I noticed a disturbing trend: A simply dressed, nice looking woman pushing a stroller or holding the hand of a small child toddling along at her side. And with the mother and child would be a strutting douchewank of surprising flagrancy, especially given the location, time of day, and the un-bleethiness of the woman. All the classsic hallmarks of Douche were noted: UDTs, overinflated arm muscles with chicken legs, torn bedazzled jeans, overpriced eurotrash gunboat shoes, fauhawk/bleach/fwip, manscaping and tweezed brows, and overly fitted Affliction shirts.
Being a rabid people-watcher (that's about 75% of my fascination with this site, the other 25% being that I'm a shit-talking jagoff), I noticed something curious about these couplings. The woman in those pairings always looked weary and annoyed. Normally I would attribute that to the difficulty of shopping with a small child. However, I saw plenty of other women who were alone with their little ones. They looked blissful and relaxed, strolling along, sipping some chocolatey coffee thing through a straw and gazing at pretty things in the windows.
The women with the Douchedads always looked peeved and tired, as if they were fed up with being dragged to the mall AGAIN, after waiting at home for three hours before for him to ready himself. It was as if the tide had finally turned, the masculine had become feminine and vice versa. The men in question were strutting proudly along, chests out, trying to catch the eye of every woman passing by, making sure she was looking back at him.
Perhaps this is the male version of "seeing if I still got it" after marrying and having children? However, the difference is thus: A man will be proud and enforced by the idea of having a 'trophy' woman on his arm, glad to show her off and making the other guys drool. A woman finds her man flaunting himself in that manner to be irksome and threatening, especially after she has gone through the trouble of bearing his child, fucking up her body in the process and not sleeping for the next 18 years.
Unfortunately, OS, this breed is multiplying at a staggering rate from what I could see in the Chicagoland are. Any 'Baghunters see the same in other regions? An extermination plan must be in place in case this goes nationwide.
An excellent point, and I second the motion. "Douchedad" is a phenomenon that I, too have noticed as of late and was perplexed as to its root causes. I spent part of this past weekend shopping in and around Chicago again, and I noticed a disturbing trend: A simply dressed, nice looking woman pushing a stroller or holding the hand of a small child toddling along at her side. And with the mother and child would be a strutting douchewank of surprising flagrancy, especially given the location, time of day, and the un-bleethiness of the woman. All the classsic hallmarks of Douche were noted: UDTs, overinflated arm muscles with chicken legs, torn bedazzled jeans, overpriced eurotrash gunboat shoes, fauhawk/bleach/fwip, manscaping and tweezed brows, and overly fitted Affliction shirts.
Being a rabid people-watcher (that's about 75% of my fascination with this site, the other 25% being that I'm a shit-talking jagoff), I noticed something curious about these couplings. The woman in those pairings always looked weary and annoyed. Normally I would attribute that to the difficulty of shopping with a small child. However, I saw plenty of other women who were alone with their little ones. They looked blissful and relaxed, strolling along, sipping some chocolatey coffee thing through a straw and gazing at pretty things in the windows.
The women with the Douchedads always looked peeved and tired, as if they were fed up with being dragged to the mall AGAIN, after waiting at home for three hours before for him to ready himself. It was as if the tide had finally turned, the masculine had become feminine and vice versa. The men in question were strutting proudly along, chests out, trying to catch the eye of every woman passing by, making sure she was looking back at him.
Perhaps this is the male version of "seeing if I still got it" after marrying and having children? However, the difference is thus: A man will be proud and enforced by the idea of having a 'trophy' woman on his arm, glad to show her off and making the other guys drool. A woman finds her man flaunting himself in that manner to be irksome and threatening, especially after she has gone through the trouble of bearing his child, fucking up her body in the process and not sleeping for the next 18 years.
Unfortunately, OS, this breed is multiplying at a staggering rate from what I could see in the Chicagoland are. Any 'Baghunters see the same in other regions? An extermination plan must be in place in case this goes nationwide.
I would think that married men and dads absolutely can be douches. People get married and have kids naturally, and, once the orange tanning chemicals get into the bloodstream, there is no known cure.
The saddest sight is when a douchedad is photographed in Spring Break Cancun with a stage-4 Bleethed Douchedaughter and her Sorority Sisters.
The saddest sight is when a douchedad is photographed in Spring Break Cancun with a stage-4 Bleethed Douchedaughter and her Sorority Sisters.
# posted by : 2:52 PM
: 2:52 PM
In the name of Jebus and Mary of Joseph, uncle of Abell, cousin of Eljah, nephew of Jerod whos married to Abra, mother of Divsha who's banging Ovadiah the step father of Jerrick!
L 0_0 K at those T I T S!
-FuzzyFugazi-
L 0_0 K at those T I T S!
-FuzzyFugazi-
# posted by : 2:56 PM
: 2:56 PM
married dudes have always been their own unique and in some ways more agregious strain of douche.
not all married men, some actually dig the monogamy, some resign themselves to it, but take comfort in confort and no longer having to maintain "game", some simply can't afford to pay half and know it, some are just damn lucky and know it.
but there is that group of guys who look at the lovely wife like a government contract. it means they will always have a floor to their earnings, things can only get so bad for them before they can consolidate and stick to what is taken for granted...however they use the confidence, the femocratized sense of hygiene and fashion, even the allure of being taken to achieve a douche agenda that has them struting and preening like never before.
its like having a hot chick as a friend, other hot chicks notice and pay you more attention. marriage essence is like douche essence, it attracts women like a pheromone even if stable pair bonding is the furthest thing from their mind.
not all married men, some actually dig the monogamy, some resign themselves to it, but take comfort in confort and no longer having to maintain "game", some simply can't afford to pay half and know it, some are just damn lucky and know it.
but there is that group of guys who look at the lovely wife like a government contract. it means they will always have a floor to their earnings, things can only get so bad for them before they can consolidate and stick to what is taken for granted...however they use the confidence, the femocratized sense of hygiene and fashion, even the allure of being taken to achieve a douche agenda that has them struting and preening like never before.
its like having a hot chick as a friend, other hot chicks notice and pay you more attention. marriage essence is like douche essence, it attracts women like a pheromone even if stable pair bonding is the furthest thing from their mind.
@ Euripidouche
"its like having a hot chick as a friend, other hot chicks notice and pay you more attention. marriage essence is like douche essence, it attracts women like a pheromone even if stable pair bonding is the furthest thing from their mind."
Exactly. And this is why I think women are a bunch of treacherous scumbag retards and I hate 90% of them. They see a man with a ring on his finger and think, "He'll commit and have children! I must have him!" Duh, jackass, he does commit and have children--with someone besides YOU. And after admiring that nesting-behavior in the man, the woman then does her damndest to worm in and break it up. then she cries like a bitch when he dumps her and returns to his wife, or finds another one altogether. Stupid, skanky whores.
Yeah, I know, a man who is truly happy won't stray. But there are plenty of men out there and it's not like we have to try hard. Having a vagina is pretty much all we need in the arsenal, why the hell these dumb slags feel they have to go snag someone that's already spoken for. Catty competitiveness, having to prove she is the superior female? Or just seeing if she's clever enough to solve the puzzle?
Either way, I'm gonna go out and punch some bitch in the throat. I'll consider it karmic credit against any future interlopers.
"its like having a hot chick as a friend, other hot chicks notice and pay you more attention. marriage essence is like douche essence, it attracts women like a pheromone even if stable pair bonding is the furthest thing from their mind."
Exactly. And this is why I think women are a bunch of treacherous scumbag retards and I hate 90% of them. They see a man with a ring on his finger and think, "He'll commit and have children! I must have him!" Duh, jackass, he does commit and have children--with someone besides YOU. And after admiring that nesting-behavior in the man, the woman then does her damndest to worm in and break it up. then she cries like a bitch when he dumps her and returns to his wife, or finds another one altogether. Stupid, skanky whores.
Yeah, I know, a man who is truly happy won't stray. But there are plenty of men out there and it's not like we have to try hard. Having a vagina is pretty much all we need in the arsenal, why the hell these dumb slags feel they have to go snag someone that's already spoken for. Catty competitiveness, having to prove she is the superior female? Or just seeing if she's clever enough to solve the puzzle?
Either way, I'm gonna go out and punch some bitch in the throat. I'll consider it karmic credit against any future interlopers.
@ euripidouche & Medusa
Interesting topic. I've never been married-- all of my friends are married.
One friend in particular tells me that women who wouldn't have given him the time of day when he was unmarried are now approaching him "all the time" (his claim) once they see the ring on his finger. Here's the thing though: as far as I know, he'd never be unfaithful to his wife. AND, despite hanging out with this friend of mine every once in awhile, I've never actually witnessed ANY woman show interest in him beyond taking his order. And furthermore he has a history of telling tall tales.
So I don't know. I HEAR that the ring magically attracts women, but I've never actually SEEN it happen.
Meh, anyway...
Interesting topic. I've never been married-- all of my friends are married.
One friend in particular tells me that women who wouldn't have given him the time of day when he was unmarried are now approaching him "all the time" (his claim) once they see the ring on his finger. Here's the thing though: as far as I know, he'd never be unfaithful to his wife. AND, despite hanging out with this friend of mine every once in awhile, I've never actually witnessed ANY woman show interest in him beyond taking his order. And furthermore he has a history of telling tall tales.
So I don't know. I HEAR that the ring magically attracts women, but I've never actually SEEN it happen.
Meh, anyway...
reader mike:
i don't know about magic, i do know to some extent you get back, what you put out there.
i also know married guys(i am agnostic as i have a live in, i am between the two states of being) love to think if they were just single....
they also want to make their single guys feel they are wasting it, while also trying to evangelize.
your buddy may or may not try, and i don't know what level of attention he was used to,or what he percieves as "that chick so wants me" so i can't say if its bluster or real in his case.
i will say as someone who has been on both sides of the bar, the phenomena is very real in that environment.
i don't know about magic, i do know to some extent you get back, what you put out there.
i also know married guys(i am agnostic as i have a live in, i am between the two states of being) love to think if they were just single....
they also want to make their single guys feel they are wasting it, while also trying to evangelize.
your buddy may or may not try, and i don't know what level of attention he was used to,or what he percieves as "that chick so wants me" so i can't say if its bluster or real in his case.
i will say as someone who has been on both sides of the bar, the phenomena is very real in that environment.
I’m married and have two children. But, I find that my ring mostly just attracts quadrupeds and quadriplegics. And I’m okay with that.
Because I’m a quagmire of quasi-quirks in need of some quality Quaaludes.
Quack! Quack!
Because I’m a quagmire of quasi-quirks in need of some quality Quaaludes.
Quack! Quack!
@ euripidouche
Hm. I'll be damned.
Well, if I get married I'm gonna wear one of those kick-ass skull rings with the ruby eyes-- like the kind Otto gave to Becky.
Hm. I'll be damned.
Well, if I get married I'm gonna wear one of those kick-ass skull rings with the ruby eyes-- like the kind Otto gave to Becky.
@reader mike
I will play a classical guitar arrangement of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" at your wedding.
I will play a classical guitar arrangement of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" at your wedding.
since i have breasts as large as the woman in the picture, it is good to know what every man i meet and every male friend i have thinks when they see me in a tank top or bathing suit.
interesting perspective.
Thanks guys!
interesting perspective.
Thanks guys!
Crucial Head @4:31... I bet you quickly slurp down Nestle's Quik, shop on QVC and attend Queer Nation rallies in SF, too.
# posted by : 9:21 PM
: 9:21 PM
trust me when i say that my dad is a huge douchebag and i don't ever want to see or talk to him.
that being said, i find myself eerily attracted to the chick on the... right. for some reason i want to see her hair turn into mahogany solar flare on a wild ride in a Harley or a convertible Porsche. it also wouldn't hurt if her boobs (which look more natural that left hott's chest balloons anyway) were to bounce around in the process.
i'm attracted to the strangest things.
that being said, i find myself eerily attracted to the chick on the... right. for some reason i want to see her hair turn into mahogany solar flare on a wild ride in a Harley or a convertible Porsche. it also wouldn't hurt if her boobs (which look more natural that left hott's chest balloons anyway) were to bounce around in the process.
i'm attracted to the strangest things.
@ Calliope 9:04
How could this possibly be news to you? Are you on some kind of sapphic rumspringa?
Please say yes.
How could this possibly be news to you? Are you on some kind of sapphic rumspringa?
Please say yes.
@Medusa et al.
Here in Arizona, there are many douchedads. Especially in the greater metropolitan area in cities like Scottsdale and Chandler. Chandler is an especially douchie hotbed of activity, which has grown exponentially in the last few years.
I find that when I'm at the mall, I, like MO, (again with the comma use) have noticed that the douchedad appears to be preening whilst his wife tries mightily to handle the children alone. In Scottsdale, the douchedad is often accompanied by aged cougar bleeths. The cougar bleeth has been fully infected with fake tan and saline poisoning from her massive implants. Her skin appears as leather roasted in the sun until cracked and dried.
This pestilence has fully infected the Scottsdale area and migrated to Chandler. Someone must bomb these cities soon.
Here in Arizona, there are many douchedads. Especially in the greater metropolitan area in cities like Scottsdale and Chandler. Chandler is an especially douchie hotbed of activity, which has grown exponentially in the last few years.
I find that when I'm at the mall, I, like MO, (again with the comma use) have noticed that the douchedad appears to be preening whilst his wife tries mightily to handle the children alone. In Scottsdale, the douchedad is often accompanied by aged cougar bleeths. The cougar bleeth has been fully infected with fake tan and saline poisoning from her massive implants. Her skin appears as leather roasted in the sun until cracked and dried.
This pestilence has fully infected the Scottsdale area and migrated to Chandler. Someone must bomb these cities soon.
# posted by : 8:23 AM
: 8:23 AM
@bvg
calliope's blogger profile says she's into "vagaries" so i think thats a yes on the lesbian rumspringa, at least the way i read it.
calliope's blogger profile says she's into "vagaries" so i think thats a yes on the lesbian rumspringa, at least the way i read it.
@ Reader Mike at 4:00PM
I'm happily married, have a big ol' wedding ring, and it is a twenty-something chick magnet. My wife's theory (and I concur) is that, with my personality and the ring they think I'm safe to be around.
This happens when I attend college football games with my buddies, and has been going on for a few years.
As an example, my wife and I were in Mexico last week, and while sitting under a palapa catching up on my reading a number of early-to-mid 20 something women came and sat down in chairs next to me. I became more popular when I mentioned that I was saving the seat next to me for my wife, who was (pointing south) the redhead taking pictures of landscape/seascape. I'm thinking to myself, "Okay, I'm turning 50 next year, am not ugly, have all my own graying hair, and am in decent shape... but that's not it!"
They knew I wasn't going to hit on them (much as I wanted to), and as candidly as they talked amongst themselves and to me. Maybe I gave off that "cool uncle who won't tell dad how you're spending his money" vibe? I don't know. Tell you what, though, some two hours later I spent the rest of the afternoon pretending my wife was 22 instead of 32!
Another interesting note: none of these girls was wearing bronzer, had a tramp stamp, nor appeared artificially enhanced. Not one was even Stage One Bleeth, which gives me hope that the culture war lines are moving.
I'm happily married, have a big ol' wedding ring, and it is a twenty-something chick magnet. My wife's theory (and I concur) is that, with my personality and the ring they think I'm safe to be around.
This happens when I attend college football games with my buddies, and has been going on for a few years.
As an example, my wife and I were in Mexico last week, and while sitting under a palapa catching up on my reading a number of early-to-mid 20 something women came and sat down in chairs next to me. I became more popular when I mentioned that I was saving the seat next to me for my wife, who was (pointing south) the redhead taking pictures of landscape/seascape. I'm thinking to myself, "Okay, I'm turning 50 next year, am not ugly, have all my own graying hair, and am in decent shape... but that's not it!"
They knew I wasn't going to hit on them (much as I wanted to), and as candidly as they talked amongst themselves and to me. Maybe I gave off that "cool uncle who won't tell dad how you're spending his money" vibe? I don't know. Tell you what, though, some two hours later I spent the rest of the afternoon pretending my wife was 22 instead of 32!
Another interesting note: none of these girls was wearing bronzer, had a tramp stamp, nor appeared artificially enhanced. Not one was even Stage One Bleeth, which gives me hope that the culture war lines are moving.
# posted by : 9:45 AM
: 9:45 AM
Believe me when I say, Staten Island is where the DoucheDads were spawned. The pinky ring wearing, Ed Hardouche tracksuit sporting, cigar chomping, pomade-ed hair, St. Anthony medallion wearing, Giambi-signed bat swinging DOUCHEBAGS. It's a plague. It must be stopped. I am a young and (from what I'm told) attractive anti-bleeth from this little corner of hell known as the "forgotten borough." Please, fellow bag hunters and huntresses, COME SAVE ME!!!!!
-Follow The Yellow Brick Choad
-Follow The Yellow Brick Choad
# posted by : 9:53 AM
: 9:53 AM
@ Calliope 9:04
"The written word is my salvation and escape. It is inexpressibly lovely and uniquely human. I love its vagaries, complexities, conundrums and romance."
Not since the worlds first and last Nazi Attack Blimp drifted into the British Museum of Sharp and Pointy Objects has there been a clearer case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
"The written word is my salvation and escape. It is inexpressibly lovely and uniquely human. I love its vagaries, complexities, conundrums and romance."
Not since the worlds first and last Nazi Attack Blimp drifted into the British Museum of Sharp and Pointy Objects has there been a clearer case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
jesus...how old are these people.
well..obviously the two on the left are much younger than the thing they are attached to, but good lord...i want young, supple hotts here...not someone my mom's age.
move this to the old bag/bleeth pages and give me something good.
well..obviously the two on the left are much younger than the thing they are attached to, but good lord...i want young, supple hotts here...not someone my mom's age.
move this to the old bag/bleeth pages and give me something good.
# posted by : 11:18 PM
: 11:18 PM
In case you can't get enough of this douche, here's his website
http://www.djbigsteve.com/home.php
The photos section has fodder for days.
Post a Comment
http://www.djbigsteve.com/home.php
The photos section has fodder for days.
# posted by : 9:07 AM
: 9:07 AM << Home
