1. A "Bud Light" Totem Pole, mocking all that was once authentically indigenous to Native American culture.

And then, of course, the only thing Asian about him is the set of chopsticks his broheims shoved up his ass after their last fraternity party. That explains his posture.
 

hahaha bravo DB1 for 1 and 3
 

May the Tiki curse that so haunted Greg Brady in the Hawaiian vacation episode of the "Brady Bunch" seek its revenge on him. And drive her screaming and quivering into my arms.
 

Q: What did Running Bull's jock strap do?

A: Totem pole




I've been saving that one since 3rd grade.
 

Judging by the forward bent of the hips and his caved-in ass, this is Catfish Carl's welcome back from the penitentiary bash.

Darlene had better start eating the Olean chips; Carl's got something new he wants to try tonight that he learned in County...
 

Judging by the hut roof in the background, this is the International House of Pancake Tits.
 

Note all the dime-sized spots of dripped ass lube all over the Trex decking.

Apparently that totem pole's not just a decoration.
 

nice scrotum pole.
 

Sweet Jebus!, even the totem pole looks douchie. These must represent ancient douche gods. The top one even has kissy lips, guyliner, waxed brows, & a pineapple on his head. I think that's an old Indian douche thing.
 

I'm more concerned about the choad back there with the white belt, t-shirt tucked into ass, with the compressed diaphram sucked in with douchal fortitude.
 

Nice tatt. Looks like your bros got you with the red sharpie while you were passed out last night.
 

That’s not a tiki pole.

That’s Sämurǽ §cröté’s wiener greeting us through the glory manhole in the boardwalk, while He lays patiently below, hoping for a nibble or two from the ‘bags and bleeths as they mill about.
 

heh...pole...heheh...

oh and bewbs!
 

Sämurǽ §cröté’s wiener must not be referenced openly. You're playing with fire, mister.

MEAT fire.
 

Some have said, though none can confirm, that Sämurǽ §cröté’s wiener is comprised of rough-hewn Sumatran Pine, 43 poached eggs, and leprosy.

I myself, cannot refute those claims based on this picture.

And that is all I will say about this matter.

I bid you all a good day.
 

can't add to that one...Outstanding!
 

Layoffs at the local Jiffy-Lube

Not true! Jiffy-Lube is temporarily closed due to missing oil. It seems their oil was stolen in a bizarre robbery.
 

His shoulder looks like the blueprints to the Church of Scientology’s headquarters…

...after I’ve finished redlining them.
 

i believe Clearwater, Florida has one of the highest concentrations of Scientologists. i'm not even kidding. i remember driving by the gigantic buildings on my way to the beach. and that was 12+ years ago. evidently, they've almost taken over downtown.

it's frightening.


these people in the picture aren't Scientologists. they are Jersey Shore baboons.
 

Old McDouchald Had a Farm " You are the biggest fucking hater faggot ever. This guy goes to the gym and works hard and u judge him for that you faggot and why u checkin out this mens body anyway u faggot. What do u want everyone to be a fat ass faggat like you who sits on his ass evryday wishing he could look in shape. and the girl aint even all taht i tapped hotter ass. but u are a faggg
 

"why u checkin out this mens body anyway u faggot..aint even all taht i tapped hotter ass"
 

Please send the tiki douche back to tiki land we don't require his services
 

help meeee..i deserve better than this. i've only seen one vagina in the last 6 years, 11 mouths (male & female), and more of my owner's meathands than i can take anymore.

seriously. help me. i am begging you.
 

anyone?


i'm not kidding.





i want out.
 

Sorry cadmans penis I cant help you my advice is have your owner chop you off and send you to Chaz Bono or have your owner greese you up shove you up his ass
 

i've done the latter. believe me, seeing the inside of his ass isn't pretty. it looks like when they catch a large shark, cut him open, and all kinds of things are in there. license plates, tin cans, cell phones, small children.


please. anything you can do to help me escape would be appreciated.


please.
 

Chaz Bono needs a Penis and can probably get hotter chicks then your owner you should move there
 

anyone else got any bright ideas?

it smells like urine and vadalia onions in here. seriously. the time is short.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

Double O Douche...i really appreciate your advice though.
 

@pfah no problem just trying to help maybe Cademans penis can move to Arthur Kades asshole then take a vacation in his mouth
 

Old McDouchald:

I'm not sure, but I think that "CADMAN" chap called you a "faggat", Sir.
 

CADMAN's outbursts are what you would hear if Douchebag's streams of consciousness were audible.

He reminds me of the Jack Handy quote:

"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."
 

Looks like New Jersey just puked.
 

thats not jersey! its the hamptons LOL
 

Somethin' about this douche's mouth reminds me of Bra! Broheim!

Somethin' about her shorts reminds me of Old Chap's thong.

Sommethin' about this set-up recalls a fake beach I once visited in Ken-tiki. Along the Ohio River.
 

Look - he's ripping off E-blo's patented 'gel forward to hide baldness' manoeuvre.

Wannabe!
 

Nice collection of afterthought tattoos, douchewank. Way to "tie it all together" with that scribbly red shit, it looks like ringworm.

If I had any say, tribal would be punishable by death, either the having of, or applying of. Anyone getting tribal before 1992 would be grandfathered in, but still given thirty lashes.

The top tiki face looks like Grace Jones.
 

Sorry, I meant to add a link.
 

@CADMAN's penis Don't dispair. Take pride in the fact that you were a part of perfecting CADMAN's ATM (ass to mouth) technique. Granted, CADMAN had counted on the guy's moustache brushing off some of the chunkier bits of residue and it all led to you getting a nasty infection so, well, maybe you should dispair.
 

I could make a totem douche of all 4 present scrote... just need an icepick, a chain saw, a sledge hammer, a hatchet, & uhm... a woodchipper

blue harnessed boobie delight summons my pole
 

Here's a riddle: This dick looks like Charlie Sheen. Who's being insulted, this dick or Charlie Sheen?
 

The amount of douche in this picture is so overwhelming that I can't look directly at it.

The only non-douchey thing in the whole picture is the bench.
 

Note to white belt with the 100lb. head- Unless you are Jesus or Caesar, flip flops on a man are GAY. Not just GAY, but fuccen Liberace dead GAY.

And I am trying to figure out the tats in front. It looks like a botched United Way logo and lunch special #3.

Is this the land of the DoucheZombies? Meatheads with bad tats and blank stares plus saggyboobs who is already lost to the disease at such a young age. I wonder if I Am Legendbag on the left is working on the cure...

-Douche Bauer
 

even if i masturbate to Bud Camp hotts, i will never drink Bud. and neither will my cock be a Bud totem.

whoa what's Bud totem? i don't even want to know.
 

Maybe that's the Optimus Prime penis used to penetrate Megan Fox?

I'm just sayin'
 

with the bag in the yellow stacked on top of the scrote with the hott this is a true douchem pole. the only good use of a douchem pole is to tie an inflatable sheep to it and have a tether bag tournament, winner gets to go first on the love ewe.

i like the hott on a jackie burkhart kinda way. she has a nice kunis...thing going on.
 

shittiest tats ever!!!
 

this picture was taken at "Neptunes" in the Hamptons, New York! LOL This is where the douchest of douches form for 8 hours of pump fisting and constant trips to the mens bathroom just to make sure their faux hawks are still looking HOT!! LMFAO
 

Welcome to Douche Fest 2009, drink bud light (yes LIGHT!) all day long with douches for free. Get free tribal tatoos in the douche hut, sipping on sex on the beach and dancing around fake indian totems.

Seriously when was being shirtless wearing jeans ever cool? If you aren't a rockstar on stage, you just can't pull it off.

Love the boobs =)