Monday, July 13, 2009
HCwDB of the Week
Once I slapped a kitten. It mewed softly. So I felt bad. And bought it an ice-cream cone.
Here's your finalists:
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Hairy Belafonte
For bringing Wheatstalks level hair, H.B.'s kiss of Cheryl Crowhott is almost too much to let stand.
We cannot abide this.
We must mock.
Cheryl has the sweet, confused look of a Sarah Lawrence student gone though the looking glass and ending up at a Rehab Party after her boyfriend, Tim, got lost in one of the Casinos.
Her iMac perched on her lap, one wonders if she's hiding a pair of sexy librarian glasses somewhere untoward.
Hairy B is slap-worthy Rehab Vegas taint.
Together, they make HCwDB.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: P. Doody, aka "Rated P for Poo"
I'm renaming this potential nominee for Worst Tattoo in the History of Body Art "P. Doody"
And yes, the excellent 'bag hunters in the comments threads, in this case, Chia LaDouche correctly identified the 2008 H.C. winner for HCwDB of the Year, Carly Hott.
Has she ditched the Hooligan? We do not know. But Carly remains boobarifically glorious.
P. Doody has a giant tattoo meant to invoke the MPAA rating system. Srsly? Ya bro.
All sorts of arm-locking wrongness in this pic causes lemurs to karate-chop a kitten in the nads.
In a strange twist of irony, those lemurs karate-chopped the same kitten I once slapped and bought an ice-cream cone. But that's a story for another time.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: The Earglasm
Every great HCwDB pic features a form of douchal innovation. Thomas Edison-like inspiration of ballcrust.
Earglasm has it all. Ears. Sunglasses. Mandana.
Pouty Minx stoically smoking a cig by the beach.
Hers is a neck I would nuzzle.
His is a spikey-fro I would mock.
A third worthy entry in the Weekly, and with artistic composition to boot.
And by boot, I mean his ass. Not that Das Boot film with the Germans in the submarine.
Although that film did kick ass. As did Das Booty Call, starring Tommy Davidson and Udo Kier.
Last week also featured the meltdowns of poor Colt, whose bravado and arrogance quickly collapsed under a heap of really hilarious grammar. Lets toss that fish back in the sea and let it go get another neck tattoo.
Eagle-eyed 'bag hunters like Wheezer correctly tagged Don't Mess with the Poohan as HCwDB of the Week winner from last January Sir Sucks-a-Lot. Sucks.A.L. is campaigning for most amorphous douchebag of 2009, and, with his latest entry, is a strong write-in contender for HCwDB of the Year.
So them's your three.
Which rises (drops) to the level of ballsack and maiden?
Vote, as always, in the comments thread.
Here's your finalists:
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: Hairy Belafonte
For bringing Wheatstalks level hair, H.B.'s kiss of Cheryl Crowhott is almost too much to let stand.
We cannot abide this.
We must mock.
Cheryl has the sweet, confused look of a Sarah Lawrence student gone though the looking glass and ending up at a Rehab Party after her boyfriend, Tim, got lost in one of the Casinos.
Her iMac perched on her lap, one wonders if she's hiding a pair of sexy librarian glasses somewhere untoward.
Hairy B is slap-worthy Rehab Vegas taint.
Together, they make HCwDB.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: P. Doody, aka "Rated P for Poo"
I'm renaming this potential nominee for Worst Tattoo in the History of Body Art "P. Doody"
And yes, the excellent 'bag hunters in the comments threads, in this case, Chia LaDouche correctly identified the 2008 H.C. winner for HCwDB of the Year, Carly Hott.
Has she ditched the Hooligan? We do not know. But Carly remains boobarifically glorious.
P. Doody has a giant tattoo meant to invoke the MPAA rating system. Srsly? Ya bro.
All sorts of arm-locking wrongness in this pic causes lemurs to karate-chop a kitten in the nads.
In a strange twist of irony, those lemurs karate-chopped the same kitten I once slapped and bought an ice-cream cone. But that's a story for another time.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: The Earglasm
Every great HCwDB pic features a form of douchal innovation. Thomas Edison-like inspiration of ballcrust.
Earglasm has it all. Ears. Sunglasses. Mandana.
Pouty Minx stoically smoking a cig by the beach.
Hers is a neck I would nuzzle.
His is a spikey-fro I would mock.
A third worthy entry in the Weekly, and with artistic composition to boot.
And by boot, I mean his ass. Not that Das Boot film with the Germans in the submarine.
Although that film did kick ass. As did Das Booty Call, starring Tommy Davidson and Udo Kier.
Last week also featured the meltdowns of poor Colt, whose bravado and arrogance quickly collapsed under a heap of really hilarious grammar. Lets toss that fish back in the sea and let it go get another neck tattoo.
Eagle-eyed 'bag hunters like Wheezer correctly tagged Don't Mess with the Poohan as HCwDB of the Week winner from last January Sir Sucks-a-Lot. Sucks.A.L. is campaigning for most amorphous douchebag of 2009, and, with his latest entry, is a strong write-in contender for HCwDB of the Year.
So them's your three.
Which rises (drops) to the level of ballsack and maiden?
Vote, as always, in the comments thread.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 7:02 AM 
Comments:
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All three are annoying on there own. Hairy FTW.
By the win I mean I hope his head get jammed into a industrial paper shredder.
By the win I mean I hope his head get jammed into a industrial paper shredder.
# posted by 
: 7:25 AM
: 7:25 AM
If Colt is still a choice, I gotta go with him, because he's such a fucking crybaby.
If not, well, P.Doody wins in a walk. He's obviously a dick, he's banging a woman that's got supremely awesome chest zeppelins, and he throws in a bonus of having the worst tattoo that I've ever seen in my life.
If not, well, P.Doody wins in a walk. He's obviously a dick, he's banging a woman that's got supremely awesome chest zeppelins, and he throws in a bonus of having the worst tattoo that I've ever seen in my life.
Hairy FTW. His hair is so big that you need general relativity to calculate the curvature of space time near the tips.
And I want to plug my pink iPhone into the USB port in Cheryl's lap.
And I want to plug my pink iPhone into the USB port in Cheryl's lap.
Vote for "Hairy"
Reasoning:
I'm sure Hairy is contaminating that fine inner thigh-al area of that sweet bookish young thing even as we speak....what a travesty!
While Doody appears to be a pure douchanode and his rerun hott is all that, Hairy pollywogging the librarian brings sadness....as for Earglasm....he looks like my wife's nephew who is not a douche and if I ever see him with his shades sticking out of a doo rag I'll beat him into normalcy...we can only hope Earboy has such a concerned step-uncle as myself
Reasoning:
I'm sure Hairy is contaminating that fine inner thigh-al area of that sweet bookish young thing even as we speak....what a travesty!
While Doody appears to be a pure douchanode and his rerun hott is all that, Hairy pollywogging the librarian brings sadness....as for Earglasm....he looks like my wife's nephew who is not a douche and if I ever see him with his shades sticking out of a doo rag I'll beat him into normalcy...we can only hope Earboy has such a concerned step-uncle as myself
# posted by : 7:32 AM
: 7:32 AM
That "Rated P" tattoo has to be the worst I have ever seen, though Colonel Colt's neck-skull tattoo gets my vote for the "What the fuck was I thinking" award.
# posted by : 7:32 AM
: 7:32 AM
Earglasm FTW
Tough week. Earglasm relies on cranial accessories which, in my book, is uber-douchey. Hairy is just a jackass who's ride will leave him at the shorehouse. I will not allow Carly Hott to elevate P. Doody to a level he does not deserve.
Tough week. Earglasm relies on cranial accessories which, in my book, is uber-douchey. Hairy is just a jackass who's ride will leave him at the shorehouse. I will not allow Carly Hott to elevate P. Doody to a level he does not deserve.
# posted by : 7:35 AM
: 7:35 AM
Man this week has some SERIOUS SCROTE to consider! I haven't seen a weekly this tough to call in ages.
Hairy's hott is enough to make me vote for his insane rooster doo. She definitely moonlights as a librarian. And my moonlights I mean "gives head."
P. Doody is going to make the sad realization that by being a "Player 4 life" or even worse, proclaiming it to the world with a permanent tatt causes one to end up old and alone with only their right hand for comfort. Can't wait to see how well that tatt goes over in the old folks home in 2040. He'll be getting lots of geriatric love then! Oh, and......boobies.
The Earglasm sports a fine Eurohott and is seriously punch worthy. His coup de grace is the WTF move with the sunglasses. There has to be a place in the yearly's for this original douche move.
So after long deliberation of such a suckworthy field I'm going with Hairy FTW. His combo of insanely stupid rooster fro and insanely delicious hott cannot be beat.
Hairy's hott is enough to make me vote for his insane rooster doo. She definitely moonlights as a librarian. And my moonlights I mean "gives head."
P. Doody is going to make the sad realization that by being a "Player 4 life" or even worse, proclaiming it to the world with a permanent tatt causes one to end up old and alone with only their right hand for comfort. Can't wait to see how well that tatt goes over in the old folks home in 2040. He'll be getting lots of geriatric love then! Oh, and......boobies.
The Earglasm sports a fine Eurohott and is seriously punch worthy. His coup de grace is the WTF move with the sunglasses. There has to be a place in the yearly's for this original douche move.
So after long deliberation of such a suckworthy field I'm going with Hairy FTW. His combo of insanely stupid rooster fro and insanely delicious hott cannot be beat.
# posted by : 7:35 AM
: 7:35 AM
Hairy FTW, although Doody is headed for a 2009 Douchie for worst tattoo in the age of douche
# posted by : 7:36 AM
: 7:36 AM
I vote for P Doody. It's obvious that Carly Hott is a carrier. I wonder who originally infected her. She's such a slut. Although, I'd let those boobs infect me also. Anyway, P Doody's arm should be amputated. In 5 years the tat on his other forearm will read, "W-will work for food".
# posted by : 7:37 AM
: 7:37 AM
Earglasm FTW
I had something good written up but the computer screwed up. His hott be hot.
-Captain Fishstick
I had something good written up but the computer screwed up. His hott be hot.
-Captain Fishstick
# posted by : 7:40 AM
: 7:40 AM
It has to be Rated P for Poo as this week's winner. Hairy Belafonte can get a haircut. The Earglasm can remove his mandanna (although his blank stare I believe will always remain).
P. Doody however, will have phrases such as "Player 4 Life" and "Looking for Luv? You're in the wrong place" permanently imbedded in his flesh. Showing that he plans on remaining a douche nozzle until his demise. Which hopefully is soon and involves sulfuric acid, a potato peeler and his awful tats.
P. Doody however, will have phrases such as "Player 4 Life" and "Looking for Luv? You're in the wrong place" permanently imbedded in his flesh. Showing that he plans on remaining a douche nozzle until his demise. Which hopefully is soon and involves sulfuric acid, a potato peeler and his awful tats.
P.Doody. Because of obstructing view of those faboobloustitties.
Also, Hairy and Earglasms are "Les Douches Naturales", but Doody is proudly displaying results of douchey dedication and rigorous application of poo.
I vote for P. Doody
Also, Hairy and Earglasms are "Les Douches Naturales", but Doody is proudly displaying results of douchey dedication and rigorous application of poo.
I vote for P. Doody
# posted by : 7:46 AM
: 7:46 AM
Earglasm FTW.
Doody looks content with being unemployable, I would be too if I were squeezing those jugs together.
Hairy looks like a hippie kid who got crazy with the hair gel on spring break, I doubt he's full on douche.
Earglasm and his bleeth have that "I'm better than you" look despite no evidence to support it. For that, they are both douche. Keep smoking honey, they don't make sunglasses big enough to hide the stoma you'll need in your neck at age 50.
Doody looks content with being unemployable, I would be too if I were squeezing those jugs together.
Hairy looks like a hippie kid who got crazy with the hair gel on spring break, I doubt he's full on douche.
Earglasm and his bleeth have that "I'm better than you" look despite no evidence to support it. For that, they are both douche. Keep smoking honey, they don't make sunglasses big enough to hide the stoma you'll need in your neck at age 50.
# posted by : 7:49 AM
: 7:49 AM
Eargasm, for the douchy sunglasses thing. Even worse than Guy Fieri's sunglasses-on-the-back-of-the-neck thing.
# posted by : 7:54 AM
: 7:54 AM
Is it possible? Could Carly Hott actually have degenerated to a point beyond Bleeth? I'm guessing here but she could be rivaling Nicole Brown Simpson for the worst taste in men in recorded history. I can hear her tiny brain, we don't know P. Doody like she does, he's a good guy, deep down. She can change him. Just like we didn't really know the Hooligan, he just had issues to work through.
In the meantime, P. Doody proudly displays that criminal abortion of a tattoo and has her drive him to the Seven Eleven to buy him a grape cigarillo and a six pack of Coors Light.
In the meantime, P. Doody proudly displays that criminal abortion of a tattoo and has her drive him to the Seven Eleven to buy him a grape cigarillo and a six pack of Coors Light.
It has to Harry FTW...
He's a Douche among Douches..
The one remotely redeaming quality among your run of the mill Douche is the dedication to the Gym...This stain doesn't even have that. I think that redness of his shoulder are failed attempts to slap down that wheatstalks wannabe hair. Personally, I'd use a Machette and hope that I aimed low.
He's a Douche among Douches..
The one remotely redeaming quality among your run of the mill Douche is the dedication to the Gym...This stain doesn't even have that. I think that redness of his shoulder are failed attempts to slap down that wheatstalks wannabe hair. Personally, I'd use a Machette and hope that I aimed low.
# posted by : 7:59 AM
: 7:59 AM
Today's secret word is "hair," as in "I could be gainfully employed if it wasn't for my hair." Uses for douche hair include scrubbing the encrusted shit off elephant taints, testing automobile anti-skid devices during pedestrian mowdowns, and as camera chum for Shark Week filmmakers.
That's a vote for Hairy Belafonte.
That's a vote for Hairy Belafonte.
Sweet Cletus what a week.
Where to start. All three hotts are smoking, all three 'bags are blazing innovative trails of 'baggery; leaving slimy paths of cultural vacancy.
Aw hell. I'm going to vote for P.Doody. For giving his his future self a big Fuck You with that tatt, which has to be the most annoying one I've ever seen.
And his hott has great cans.
Fuck You indeed, PD.
PD FTW.
AV
Where to start. All three hotts are smoking, all three 'bags are blazing innovative trails of 'baggery; leaving slimy paths of cultural vacancy.
Aw hell. I'm going to vote for P.Doody. For giving his his future self a big Fuck You with that tatt, which has to be the most annoying one I've ever seen.
And his hott has great cans.
Fuck You indeed, PD.
PD FTW.
AV
# posted by : 8:11 AM
: 8:11 AM
Harry gets my vote.
I have nothing witty to add.
DB1 summed it up concisely- these two together IS HCwDB.com
and since it has been quite some time:
FUCK FISH SLAP!
I have nothing witty to add.
DB1 summed it up concisely- these two together IS HCwDB.com
and since it has been quite some time:
FUCK FISH SLAP!
# posted by : 8:22 AM
: 8:22 AM
If I write in our X marine colt, do you think he'll sue me. If he does, I'll have a :( face.
# posted by : 8:25 AM
: 8:25 AM
Hairy Bellafonte. i swear to christ this taint dealer is the worst case scenario for a sperm. If there is any justice in the world his neck broke under the weight of the product neccesary to facilitate that wall of gay.
upon first glance i thought for certain that belafonte was a shoe-in. that hair. rehab. the hott. all classic indicators of uberscrote. then i scrolled down and my world will never be the same. p. doody, who embraces scotedom with every ounce of his grey goose infused body might very well be the douche-mockiest visage this site has ever witnessed. and that his bleeth is a repeat offender makes all of this the more fortuitous. fate could not have written a better, more compelling story. therefore, p. doody FTW.
# posted by : 8:37 AM
: 8:37 AM
Although Doody has the worst non-prison tat ever, he is smiling in the photo giving rise to the inference that he might be an okay guy if he had a long sleeved shirt on.
Hairy is unadulterated poo. We can all see the shadow from the camera flash on your sagging chest. Is it bright enough inside so as to warrant shades? No, you're just a tool with a shoulder tattoo of diarrhea. As for his hair, the next time you think about using a fork to get something out of a toaster, think again. Cheryl, I don't know why you are in a bikini indoors, I don't care. Your perfect smile and petit body make this picture a crime against nature.
Hairy FTW.
Hairy is unadulterated poo. We can all see the shadow from the camera flash on your sagging chest. Is it bright enough inside so as to warrant shades? No, you're just a tool with a shoulder tattoo of diarrhea. As for his hair, the next time you think about using a fork to get something out of a toaster, think again. Cheryl, I don't know why you are in a bikini indoors, I don't care. Your perfect smile and petit body make this picture a crime against nature.
Hairy FTW.
P. Doody has a caption in the upper right of photo which reads "Sunday's Intervention." So this Hott must be his therapist. so I give Doody a pass because he's trying to recover.
Earglasm's Euro-Hott is on the verge of extinguishing her heater in his eye,which will hopefully blind him for life. So he, too gets a pass.
But my vote goes to Hairy B. His top- quality hottie is on level which extends high above the stratosphere.(Hands-down first ballot HOH)
Hairy's lettuce would make E-blo, Don King and Buckwheat sick to thier collective stomachs.
Hairy FTW.
Earglasm's Euro-Hott is on the verge of extinguishing her heater in his eye,which will hopefully blind him for life. So he, too gets a pass.
But my vote goes to Hairy B. His top- quality hottie is on level which extends high above the stratosphere.(Hands-down first ballot HOH)
Hairy's lettuce would make E-blo, Don King and Buckwheat sick to thier collective stomachs.
Hairy FTW.
# posted by : 8:47 AM
: 8:47 AM
I'm hoping that Hairy Baladouche's extended hair is the result of recoil from a headslap of a fistful of rebar, which he truly deserves. twenty something Cheryl Crowe hott can make me balance my own laptop several inches above my lap... for she is luscious!
Hairy ftw
Hairy ftw
Wow, what a tough decision to make.
Ok, let's count down from loser to #1 loser, and think of me as Simon "The Douchenator" Crowell from American Idol.
The Earglasm: lots of style, but no substance. You're not licking or feeling up your hott, no gang signs, no bling, no tatts, no douchetastic facial expression. I'm just not feeling it from you.
P Doody: I am feeling this one, and it's an excellent effort. Your hott is hawt even if she mistook her bra for a bikini top, your tatts are top-notch, even if they're repulsive, and you're still wearing your wristbands from last night. So close...but you're still just a #2.
Hairy Belafonte: Yes, you for the win. The kissy face working your angel-hott, the ridonkulous hair and the shoulder tatt push you towards the top. But what puts you over the top is your angel-hott. Nursing major, or perhaps library sciences, she has so much more wholesome just-off-the-bus-from-Kanasas look, and it is only her presence that gives you the win.
So go take her to dinner, and try not to make her pay for it, ok? if you do make her pay for it, I'll come along and chop of your hair with a lightsabre, and invite her out for drinks.
Ok, let's count down from loser to #1 loser, and think of me as Simon "The Douchenator" Crowell from American Idol.
The Earglasm: lots of style, but no substance. You're not licking or feeling up your hott, no gang signs, no bling, no tatts, no douchetastic facial expression. I'm just not feeling it from you.
P Doody: I am feeling this one, and it's an excellent effort. Your hott is hawt even if she mistook her bra for a bikini top, your tatts are top-notch, even if they're repulsive, and you're still wearing your wristbands from last night. So close...but you're still just a #2.
Hairy Belafonte: Yes, you for the win. The kissy face working your angel-hott, the ridonkulous hair and the shoulder tatt push you towards the top. But what puts you over the top is your angel-hott. Nursing major, or perhaps library sciences, she has so much more wholesome just-off-the-bus-from-Kanasas look, and it is only her presence that gives you the win.
So go take her to dinner, and try not to make her pay for it, ok? if you do make her pay for it, I'll come along and chop of your hair with a lightsabre, and invite her out for drinks.
It takes sheer dedication to have "Player for life" permanently tattooed on one's body. For his true devotion to being a complete and utter douchebag, I place my vote upon P. Doody.
The other finalists invoke rage as well... but seriously. Player for life?
P.Doody FTW.
The other finalists invoke rage as well... but seriously. Player for life?
P.Doody FTW.
# posted by : 9:06 AM
: 9:06 AM
Boy this is a tough one. On one hand we have Hairy with a succulent hottie that one can proudly bring home to Mama. On the other hand we have DaPlayer (a.k.a. P. Doody) accompanied by a spectacle of Boobies Galore.
Hairy is an idiot to think that Cheryl is going home with a rooster. NO F*G WAY! Now, DaPlayer has the stupid tats to lure Carly and her exquisite boobies into an overnight stay at Motel 6. Sad but true gents: Carly is a sucker for DaPlayer-type!
P. Doody FTW!
Hairy is an idiot to think that Cheryl is going home with a rooster. NO F*G WAY! Now, DaPlayer has the stupid tats to lure Carly and her exquisite boobies into an overnight stay at Motel 6. Sad but true gents: Carly is a sucker for DaPlayer-type!
P. Doody FTW!
This is an easy one. My vote is based on the contestants ability to withstand the test of time.
Hairy Belafonte's douchey doo will one day droop and fall. He will leave Vegas. He will get a job. He will become lazy, and give up on the hair.
Earglasm is more of an innovator of style, than a alpha mega douche. His mandana glasses mount is obnoxious, and a perfect target for a baseball bat swing, but you can't rock that style forever. The sun will go down, he will remove the shades, and become just another jersey shore scumbag.
P. Doody has taken an idea, a philosophy, a universally regarded asshole's title, and tattooed it, permanently...ON HIS ARM. This moves beyond the classic ignorance/arrogance of the large bodied, small brained, hott-headlocking alpha douche. This fellow will have to explain to his children what it means to be a "player 4 life". Think about the children...
He also has the hottest hott. No contest. RATED P for POO FTW!!! and....boobies
Hairy Belafonte's douchey doo will one day droop and fall. He will leave Vegas. He will get a job. He will become lazy, and give up on the hair.
Earglasm is more of an innovator of style, than a alpha mega douche. His mandana glasses mount is obnoxious, and a perfect target for a baseball bat swing, but you can't rock that style forever. The sun will go down, he will remove the shades, and become just another jersey shore scumbag.
P. Doody has taken an idea, a philosophy, a universally regarded asshole's title, and tattooed it, permanently...ON HIS ARM. This moves beyond the classic ignorance/arrogance of the large bodied, small brained, hott-headlocking alpha douche. This fellow will have to explain to his children what it means to be a "player 4 life". Think about the children...
He also has the hottest hott. No contest. RATED P for POO FTW!!! and....boobies
p. doody... only a complete loser would get that tat.. i'd rather see a douche covered in tribal poo..
There's a ton of scrote up and down the aisle this week, from the swifferhead, and stupid tattoos to the matching mandana. So let's look at the hots: Cheryl is cute, real cute. The kind you take home to mother. Carly, OTOH, has that trashy Lindsey Lohan look that makes you want to take her down to the basement and do nasty things. And by nasty things, I mean BOOBIES. Pouty Minx, however, is hot, smoking hot, in that cool Euro sort of way which would impress mom, and probably turn her on too.
The Earglasm FTW.
The Earglasm FTW.
# posted by : 9:33 AM
: 9:33 AM
Earglasm FTW.
I swear she is another pic, wearing short shorts and standing next to a guy wearing no shirt and white shorts...it went to a monthly...I can't think of the name...
I swear she is another pic, wearing short shorts and standing next to a guy wearing no shirt and white shorts...it went to a monthly...I can't think of the name...
Wow, Justin!
P. Doody having children?
I have no more will to live.
Also. I mispelled "Player 4 Life" earlier.
P. Doody having children?
I have no more will to live.
Also. I mispelled "Player 4 Life" earlier.
# posted by : 9:36 AM
: 9:36 AM
P.Doody FTW... Because Hairy's hair can be cut, and Eargasm's sunglasses can be removed. But P.Doody's Mark of the 'Bag is FOREVER. Because he's gangsta like that. And his hott is a repeat-offender Bleeth stage 4.
Doody FTW
Doody FTW
# posted by : 9:44 AM
: 9:44 AM
Gotta say "No" to P. Doody. He has a ringer , fellers. Having Carly Hott in your photo is like bringing in Jose Canseco to play right field for the Office Depot #456 softball team. Sure he'll hit some bombs and create some fans to play in front of, but he doesn't know the difference between a SKU and an end cap.
He does get a nod for "worst tattoo on the planet earth".
Hairy is a freak and Cheryl Crowhott is a tasty morsel. Hottest gal we've seen in a while. But, although bad fashion choices abound, he IS paying attention to his hott so he's not that far along the douchey path.
Gotta hand it to Earglasm . He's an unwavering pussy in a douche suit. Look at that wuss.
Blechhh ... I'd like to ram a red hot poker up his nose and weld those glasses to his head like Jessie James fixing a gas tank to a chopper.
Can't go by the hott this week, it's gotta be Earglasm FTW on a technicality.
He does get a nod for "worst tattoo on the planet earth".
Hairy is a freak and Cheryl Crowhott is a tasty morsel. Hottest gal we've seen in a while. But, although bad fashion choices abound, he IS paying attention to his hott so he's not that far along the douchey path.
Gotta hand it to Earglasm . He's an unwavering pussy in a douche suit. Look at that wuss.
Blechhh ... I'd like to ram a red hot poker up his nose and weld those glasses to his head like Jessie James fixing a gas tank to a chopper.
Can't go by the hott this week, it's gotta be Earglasm FTW on a technicality.
Hairy Belafonte is winner. Winner he is. And because of him, we all lose. I've lost numerous minutes of my life raging over the sheer audacity of this twit. He is a Time Murderer. I know some will view his pic and think "Well it's a joke. Nobody would seriously to THAT to their hair." But I disagree. He genuinely thinks that he looks cool. And that makes him a douchebag. Plus Cheryl has a sweet and innocent look. But I can tell she goes from boredom to full back door action in about 2.5 seconds.
# posted by : 10:22 AM
: 10:22 AM
Since Hairy Belafonte looks like
a) A Bower bird in search of a female
b) The rough at my favorite golf course
c) A physics student who stumbled on a hottie with the power of a Van de Graaf generator,
I hereby vote him winner of the Weekly.
a) A Bower bird in search of a female
b) The rough at my favorite golf course
c) A physics student who stumbled on a hottie with the power of a Van de Graaf generator,
I hereby vote him winner of the Weekly.
# posted by : 10:24 AM
: 10:24 AM
Hairy FTW
Even though Doody has both the Johnny Knoxville doucheface and a tattoo that warrants him his own slot at the 2009 Douchies -and even though Carly’s air balloons can travel around the world in 80 days – Hairy brings the unique feature of being the only human capable of conducting electricity through his hair. And Sheryl’s smile is so wholesome and pure that it brings warmth to my heart. And to my weiner.
Even though Doody has both the Johnny Knoxville doucheface and a tattoo that warrants him his own slot at the 2009 Douchies -and even though Carly’s air balloons can travel around the world in 80 days – Hairy brings the unique feature of being the only human capable of conducting electricity through his hair. And Sheryl’s smile is so wholesome and pure that it brings warmth to my heart. And to my weiner.
I'm pulling the lever for PD/Rated P: Player 4 Life, Scrote-rod 4 Eternity.
best, Anon Gee Bee
best, Anon Gee Bee
# posted by : 10:31 AM
: 10:31 AM
P. Doody. Not only is he clearly douche epitomized, I vote for tattoo most likely to make him everyone's bitch in prison. And Carly hott deserves to hold hott crown for a second year.
# posted by : 10:33 AM
: 10:33 AM
P for Poo, hell her glasses are more masculine then his, that tattoo almost shadowing out that chest
# posted by : 10:37 AM
: 10:37 AM
Anybody who goes around with the twat-merkin of an Afghan hound bitch posted on his scalp certainly deserves to win the weekly.
Hair Belafonte for my vote.
Hair Belafonte for my vote.
# posted by : 10:37 AM
: 10:37 AM
Hairy for sure. Not just because of the hair, but also because he still drinks from a straw.
# posted by : 10:38 AM
: 10:38 AM
Dangit....what to do, what to do...all have made some compelling arguments above and I'm wavering in my decision. However, my initial instinct was to cast my vote for P. Doody, and I think I shall trust my roiling, heaving gut.
Carly Hott is an alpha-Bleeth of the highest order, and douchiness follows wherever she goes, clearly. I imagine a great level of arrogance, douchiness and cash-flashing is required to get into her orbit. Therefore, I can only assume this man displays the most scrotacular behavior in order to impress her and coax off those panties.
In other arenas, I'm looking at his forehead. Receding hairline, crinkling brow...he's a good deal older than Carly. So add "budding oldbag" to the list of offenses. And that tattoo....that tattoo....I think I would have blinded myself with my own machines after putting something like that on someone. And to think, this tattoo will be on a 40-year old? The horror, the horror....
Let me also add that he bleaches his teeth. Unless you are a television personality, you don't do this. Period. Ever.
P. Doody FTW. And by win I mean unloved and alone in an efficiency apartment with an incontinent, half-blind Schnauzer, the tow of them eating Hungry-Man dinners on a threadbare sofa while watching MASH reruns.
Carly Hott is an alpha-Bleeth of the highest order, and douchiness follows wherever she goes, clearly. I imagine a great level of arrogance, douchiness and cash-flashing is required to get into her orbit. Therefore, I can only assume this man displays the most scrotacular behavior in order to impress her and coax off those panties.
In other arenas, I'm looking at his forehead. Receding hairline, crinkling brow...he's a good deal older than Carly. So add "budding oldbag" to the list of offenses. And that tattoo....that tattoo....I think I would have blinded myself with my own machines after putting something like that on someone. And to think, this tattoo will be on a 40-year old? The horror, the horror....
Let me also add that he bleaches his teeth. Unless you are a television personality, you don't do this. Period. Ever.
P. Doody FTW. And by win I mean unloved and alone in an efficiency apartment with an incontinent, half-blind Schnauzer, the tow of them eating Hungry-Man dinners on a threadbare sofa while watching MASH reruns.
Hairy Belafonte FTW...
For the half-assed sunburn, for the bear-claw tattoo, for bringing back those chrome Oakleys from the early 00's, for the hair that I wish would get caught in an 18-wheeler's trans-axel, but most of all for Cheryl. I would tutor her in integral calculus for a lifetime while she text messages Hairy, just to shake her hand, refuse to accept her money and ask her "what she's up to this weekend?". Her B-cups almost inspire me to hire a private investigator to find her. I should stop now.
crazy-sexy-douche
For the half-assed sunburn, for the bear-claw tattoo, for bringing back those chrome Oakleys from the early 00's, for the hair that I wish would get caught in an 18-wheeler's trans-axel, but most of all for Cheryl. I would tutor her in integral calculus for a lifetime while she text messages Hairy, just to shake her hand, refuse to accept her money and ask her "what she's up to this weekend?". Her B-cups almost inspire me to hire a private investigator to find her. I should stop now.
crazy-sexy-douche
P. Doody.
Worst. Tattoo. Ever.
Layered over oh so sweet and malleable sweater meat.
Worst. Tattoo. Ever.
Layered over oh so sweet and malleable sweater meat.
# posted by : 10:47 AM
: 10:47 AM
P for Poo without a doubt. It's douche bags like him that are the cause of a new stupid tattoo parlor popping up every week in my hometown.
# posted by : 10:49 AM
: 10:49 AM
P. Doody
Because his other arm has "Server 4 Life" *
Hi P., I'd like the boneless buffalo wings, just water tonight. Thanks.
* - No offense to servers, just those that are content with doing it for the rest of their life. You can do so much more, dream on little guy.
Because his other arm has "Server 4 Life" *
Hi P., I'd like the boneless buffalo wings, just water tonight. Thanks.
* - No offense to servers, just those that are content with doing it for the rest of their life. You can do so much more, dream on little guy.
Allow me to raid Euripidouche’s word from Friday Haiku, and proselytize for a moment:
Fellow ‘baghunters, which hott is more likely to rouse your Hairy Belafonte? Fellow ‘baghuntresses, which hott is more likely to rouse your carefully manicured Belafonte?
I have asked both those questions. And my Hairy Belafonte likes Sheryl Crow hott, FTW. A lot. For. The. Wood.
Fellow ‘baghunters, which hott is more likely to rouse your Hairy Belafonte? Fellow ‘baghuntresses, which hott is more likely to rouse your carefully manicured Belafonte?
I have asked both those questions. And my Hairy Belafonte likes Sheryl Crow hott, FTW. A lot. For. The. Wood.
P for poo. This motherfucker just pisses me off. That has got to be the dumbest, most brain-dead tattoo I have ever laid my eyes upon. What a fucking massive tool.
Also, those tits are about to burst through the picture and slap me in the face.
Also, those tits are about to burst through the picture and slap me in the face.
As a voter, I usually choose my winner(the loser?) based upon how much I want to punch the scrote. However, this week, after seeing the giant "Player 4 Life" tattoo, I can't help but casting an auto vote for P.Doody. While he wraps one arm around the Carly Hott, he is an irreversible douche. His grandson will look at his arm and see those fateful words and shake his head in shame. P.Doody has shamed his entire family line.
And I am shamed with them. A vote for P.Doody is a vote for total scrotedom. And thus it was so. He was a "Player 4 Life" Represent asshat, you have my vote.
And I am shamed with them. A vote for P.Doody is a vote for total scrotedom. And thus it was so. He was a "Player 4 Life" Represent asshat, you have my vote.
Hairy Belafonte makes me angry and so does P Doody but the hair and kissy lips combo is too unfuriating to note vote for him.
Hairy ftw.
Hairy ftw.
# posted by : 11:12 AM
: 11:12 AM
I guess I'm voting for Hairy Belafonte. If Gumby had hair, it would look like this.
# posted by : 11:18 AM
: 11:18 AM
Hairy B. FTW. This pic is the essence of HCwDB. She's a cutie and he begs to be shoved head first in a wood chipper. P. Doody and Earglasm's womens are headed down the road to Bleeth.
# posted by : 11:19 AM
: 11:19 AM
Earglasm's hott looks like one of my exes with apparently the same attitude. That alone annoys me enough to sway my judgment. However, this asshat truely seems to have it all and then some. Notice the surprised look on his face as if to mock the camera. As if this crude device is not worthy of recording his splendid image. The matching gay shirt/mandana combo and the perfectly manicured spiked sea urchin that grows from its paisley visage should be enough for the weekly. But when you thrown in the douchetastic white trimmed bolle glasses protruding from his ear it truly does make the mind reel back in horror in disgust. Even his bitchy minx is fed up! This pure unadulterated monochromatic douche deserves mocking of the strongest fashion. Earglasm for the win!
P. Doody FTW. Harry Belafonte is too ridiculous to inspire much of the oh-so-important rage inherent with a classic HCwDB pairing. Likewise, the Earglasm is just "meh." P. Doody, however, deserves the nod for his smug shit eating grin, Carly Hott's chest cannons, and, of course the tattoo. That fucking tattoo. The fact that he would get that tattoo and then proudly flaunt it to and fro speaks absolute volumes about just how wretched this taint really is.
P. Doody FTW. I need to commence drinking.
P. Doody FTW. I need to commence drinking.
# posted by : 11:25 AM
: 11:25 AM
After looking at the picture of P is for Poo and Carly, I'm ready to head down to the free clinic myself to get checked out for the social disease du jour. I'll vote for him. Hairy's close, but he just reeks of "lead singer for a band you'll never hear of" and needs some excuse for people to look at him. P. Doody just reeks.
# posted by : 11:27 AM
: 11:27 AM
P. Doody. Because tats are permanent, and there's no covering up that abortion with a little trip to a 'relatives' house for the summer. Hair can be washed and cut, glasses can be slapped from your face, but P is douche 4 life.
If I was standing in the same room as Hairy Belafonte, and had a pair of scissors in my hand, Im not sure if I would try to cut off his hair, or stab him in the neck.
Actually, I would probably do both. The only question is, which order to do them?
Actually, I would probably do both. The only question is, which order to do them?
# posted by : 11:32 AM
: 11:32 AM
Tough one this week...
Earglasm has one of the douchiest maneuvers I have ever seen. The spiked hair and the graphic tee. His hott looks douchey (not bleeth, just straight douche).
P. Doody has a tasty silicon hott, douchey shades/hair/tatts and wrist band.
I'm going to have to say P.Doody because he brings in the camouflage whatever the hell that is.
Earglasm has one of the douchiest maneuvers I have ever seen. The spiked hair and the graphic tee. His hott looks douchey (not bleeth, just straight douche).
P. Doody has a tasty silicon hott, douchey shades/hair/tatts and wrist band.
I'm going to have to say P.Doody because he brings in the camouflage whatever the hell that is.
# posted by : 11:35 AM
: 11:35 AM
I'd like to plant Hairy Belafonte in my perennial garden, as he'd make a great, spiky contrast with some succulent: sedums and aeoniums I recently planted.
Laughingly yours,
His Hottie
Laughingly yours,
His Hottie
# posted by : 11:45 AM
: 11:45 AM
Hairy gets my vote.
But "Rated P" should get an '09 Douchie for worst tattoo.
But "Rated P" should get an '09 Douchie for worst tattoo.
# posted by : 11:49 AM
: 11:49 AM
P Douchey - Douche for Life. That tattoo leaves me speechless. It is the epitome of idiocy. Chick is hot though, which makes me sad.
# posted by : 12:11 PM
: 12:11 PM
P for PUNK-ASS! Anyone with the word "Luv" tattooed on them deserves syphilis.
-Douche Douchestofferson
-Douche Douchestofferson
# posted by : 12:18 PM
: 12:18 PM
I hardly know what to say about this group. Normally there's at least one soft nominee, but this week is nothing but strong contenders.
All three hotts are extremely tasty. All three douches make me feel like the tacos I had for lunch may have sat in the sun a bit too long. In every pic, the combination of hott and douche speaks to the fundamental amorality of human civilization. Because if there were any justice in the world, I would be kneeing these guys in the face right now.
Since I can't possibly do all of these atrocious photographs justice, I will just cast my vote for P. Doody. His right forearm should be sent to a cryogenic storage facility so that future civilizations can learn about our collective failure to create a meaningful culture.
All three hotts are extremely tasty. All three douches make me feel like the tacos I had for lunch may have sat in the sun a bit too long. In every pic, the combination of hott and douche speaks to the fundamental amorality of human civilization. Because if there were any justice in the world, I would be kneeing these guys in the face right now.
Since I can't possibly do all of these atrocious photographs justice, I will just cast my vote for P. Doody. His right forearm should be sent to a cryogenic storage facility so that future civilizations can learn about our collective failure to create a meaningful culture.
# posted by : 12:24 PM
: 12:24 PM
for the sheer number of asskickings taken and delivered for hairy belafonte's "style" discovery, and the fact that no one will kick his ass for it, and put him to that formative decision. is it worth getting my ass kicked for?
hairy wins one of the toughest calls in a while.
hairy wins one of the toughest calls in a while.
I'd like to vote for my write-in candidate.....Colt. Much like those who vote for Ralph Nader, I know he won't win, but damn he's a loser.
# posted by : 12:43 PM
: 12:43 PM
All my vote are being cast for Colt, but since he's not in the actual running I'm going to have to vote for P Doody.
I asked the confused and frightened kitten for it's opinion on the pics, and when I showed it P Doody it katate chopped ME in the nuts. After I got back up I had to admit I understood the logic.
That said Hairy was a CLOSE second as Carly Hott is so infected with the Bleeth virus that you can see it mutating in the STILL pic.
Sheryl however is showing no signs of infection, which is what inspiried as much rage at the Hairy pic as that ridiculous hair.
Earglasm, there's no rage, just laughter. I actually admire his hot for being able to keep that straight of a face so close to him
I asked the confused and frightened kitten for it's opinion on the pics, and when I showed it P Doody it katate chopped ME in the nuts. After I got back up I had to admit I understood the logic.
That said Hairy was a CLOSE second as Carly Hott is so infected with the Bleeth virus that you can see it mutating in the STILL pic.
Sheryl however is showing no signs of infection, which is what inspiried as much rage at the Hairy pic as that ridiculous hair.
Earglasm, there's no rage, just laughter. I actually admire his hot for being able to keep that straight of a face so close to him
# posted by : 12:59 PM
: 12:59 PM
FTW: Poo Doody and The Black Hooters because they are over-tatted AND over-titted.
Wait, is there such a thing as too much tit? Only if there isn't enough tatt to outweigh it.
Wait, is there such a thing as too much tit? Only if there isn't enough tatt to outweigh it.
# posted by : 1:00 PM
: 1:00 PM
#1 's hair bothers me.... but i'm voting for P. Doody because he's covering up the hot chick. never cover up your hot girlfriend's boobs with your crap tattoo.
# posted by : 1:05 PM
: 1:05 PM
While I admire the effort of Poo Diddy, and Carly seems to have added implants to her already impressive frame, Hairy Belafonte takes the cake this week.
He's only got one bad tatt. I'm sure he'll add more. He's got the designer sunglasses (worn indoors, natch). And he's got the stupid kissy face that I'm sure I'd want to punch exponentially more if it was viewed straight on.
But most of all he's got the hott with just a hint of "what am I doing in this picture?" There's still hope for her, unlike Carly who seems to be working through her second or third douche-suitor.
You might be able to whisper in ?Cheryl's ear, "What the fuck is with his hair?", which might be enough to set off a series of electronic signals between synapses that would culminate with both legs running as fast as they could away from that creepy-douche sensation she keeps getting.
One would be available afterward, to help talk her through it and apply another layer of sunscreen.
He's only got one bad tatt. I'm sure he'll add more. He's got the designer sunglasses (worn indoors, natch). And he's got the stupid kissy face that I'm sure I'd want to punch exponentially more if it was viewed straight on.
But most of all he's got the hott with just a hint of "what am I doing in this picture?" There's still hope for her, unlike Carly who seems to be working through her second or third douche-suitor.
You might be able to whisper in ?Cheryl's ear, "What the fuck is with his hair?", which might be enough to set off a series of electronic signals between synapses that would culminate with both legs running as fast as they could away from that creepy-douche sensation she keeps getting.
One would be available afterward, to help talk her through it and apply another layer of sunscreen.
# posted by : 1:10 PM
: 1:10 PM
Honorable mention to "THAT MUTHA FUCKA" for having nothing else to say (unless, of course, it's one of you other regs).....heh heh..... ; )
OK, this one's all about pissing me off. Earglasm is too vacant in the head to be really trying to outdouche his broheims. He's just a chump follower and is already rather obscure. Colt would beat him in a landslide even after the great takedown.....ain't that right, hatters?
Speaking of Colt, he set Wheatstalks up with his lawyer to be filin a lawsuit against Hairy, so Hairy will no doubt be back to his old mullet self soon enough. Giving away free scratch-off lotto tickets with an 8-gallon gas purchase just won't cover his otherwise imminent lawyers' fees and charges from other legal matters and such.
So that brings us to "P for put a 36 oz. Louisville Slugger upside his head." It's one thing to get that stupid tatt on your arm, and that much ink is going to be quite painful to remove if you can get your head out of your ass first and do so. But damn, you're looking like Donny Osmond! Doody Osmond? "P for purple socks"????? Send me your hott sister Marie and maybe I'd let you slide, but since that doesn't seem likely, you get this Weekly.
And an aside to Carly Hott.....you disappointed me, darling. I had hopes of capturing you from the clutches of the Hooligan myself and redeeming you, but you have chosen the dark side. The douche/bleeth side. Darth Carly. My light sabre is still aglow-----hey wait a minute! I'm not going all "Star Wars" oner this (unless she dons the Leia/Jabba outfit, maybe)!
Damnit, she's got me screwed up. P. Doofus FTW.....
OK, this one's all about pissing me off. Earglasm is too vacant in the head to be really trying to outdouche his broheims. He's just a chump follower and is already rather obscure. Colt would beat him in a landslide even after the great takedown.....ain't that right, hatters?
Speaking of Colt, he set Wheatstalks up with his lawyer to be filin a lawsuit against Hairy, so Hairy will no doubt be back to his old mullet self soon enough. Giving away free scratch-off lotto tickets with an 8-gallon gas purchase just won't cover his otherwise imminent lawyers' fees and charges from other legal matters and such.
So that brings us to "P for put a 36 oz. Louisville Slugger upside his head." It's one thing to get that stupid tatt on your arm, and that much ink is going to be quite painful to remove if you can get your head out of your ass first and do so. But damn, you're looking like Donny Osmond! Doody Osmond? "P for purple socks"????? Send me your hott sister Marie and maybe I'd let you slide, but since that doesn't seem likely, you get this Weekly.
And an aside to Carly Hott.....you disappointed me, darling. I had hopes of capturing you from the clutches of the Hooligan myself and redeeming you, but you have chosen the dark side. The douche/bleeth side. Darth Carly. My light sabre is still aglow-----hey wait a minute! I'm not going all "Star Wars" oner this (unless she dons the Leia/Jabba outfit, maybe)!
Damnit, she's got me screwed up. P. Doofus FTW.....
P. Doody, aka "Rated P for Poo" FTW!
It should read "Rated "Db" for Douchebag for life."
Seriously, who the hell would tattoo that on his arm if he was not up for crowning as king of the douchiest? Thanks P. Doody for putting every Hott on notice that you are so alarmingly a douchebag that you would plan a life of "playing" Hotts, and then put them on notice for same. Genius.
P. Doody will be the douchiest star of the "poo brown party" methinks.
It should read "Rated "Db" for Douchebag for life."
Seriously, who the hell would tattoo that on his arm if he was not up for crowning as king of the douchiest? Thanks P. Doody for putting every Hott on notice that you are so alarmingly a douchebag that you would plan a life of "playing" Hotts, and then put them on notice for same. Genius.
P. Doody will be the douchiest star of the "poo brown party" methinks.
# posted by : 1:41 PM
: 1:41 PM
Is there really any question? P. Doody has got to be the biggest A-hole in the tri-state area. I'd like to remove that tatt from his body...with a meat cleaver whilst high on nitrous oxide.
Earglasm FTW. Doody and Hairy are so over the top they know they are douchebags, and just don't care.
Earglasm, on the other hand, has that "I'm trying to look cool and this is what I came up with" cluelessness vibe that fully earns him the weekly.
Which is kind of funny. Earglasm has no clue he's a douche. Pouty Minx knows it full well, and is expressing her displeasure at being recorded for all time in the company of this turdgobbler.
Them's the breaks, babe. Lie down with douche, wake up smelling of stale Axe. And all of it saved for eternity courtesy of the Internet.
Earglasm, on the other hand, has that "I'm trying to look cool and this is what I came up with" cluelessness vibe that fully earns him the weekly.
Which is kind of funny. Earglasm has no clue he's a douche. Pouty Minx knows it full well, and is expressing her displeasure at being recorded for all time in the company of this turdgobbler.
Them's the breaks, babe. Lie down with douche, wake up smelling of stale Axe. And all of it saved for eternity courtesy of the Internet.
# posted by : 1:50 PM
: 1:50 PM
He is the Penultimate Douche, the arm tatt is bad enough, in his case, its the intangible, yet pungent, unmistakable scent of poo emanating from his face that demands my vote for Rated P for Poo. This guy needs to be dropped off at midnight in Watts , drunk on his ass, unarmed, with no phone.
Also,as has been stated above, Carly hott is definitely a Grieco carrier, but, I don't care. She is the embodiment of the Bleeth/hott dichotomy, you know she sucks, but you want her anyhow.
The balance between douche and Hott in this pic is perfect. Her hottness exactly matches his Douchehood. She is a huge douche-magnet, and he is a huge douche, Poo for the win
Ol'Bag
Also,as has been stated above, Carly hott is definitely a Grieco carrier, but, I don't care. She is the embodiment of the Bleeth/hott dichotomy, you know she sucks, but you want her anyhow.
The balance between douche and Hott in this pic is perfect. Her hottness exactly matches his Douchehood. She is a huge douche-magnet, and he is a huge douche, Poo for the win
Ol'Bag
# posted by : 2:23 PM
: 2:23 PM
the hott that is cheryl crowhott is too pure to be ignored. she almost looks like she has a fighting chance to avoid infection. keep turning that cheek away from douchitude. and by turning that cheek, i mean i love you.
hairy belafonte ftw. just so you can repost this picture again and i can look upon it like i did for the very first time.
hairy belafonte ftw. just so you can repost this picture again and i can look upon it like i did for the very first time.
# posted by : 2:25 PM
: 2:25 PM
rated p for poo ftw...it goes beyond coincidence that he is finalist #2, as in duece, as in dropping a...
although real "playas" are too busy to employ full and correct spellings for street rep--Just ask HJBBaD-- he did use a "4" to acknowledge the point. I would have used the number "2" to underscore the boobies lacie suckle thigh
although real "playas" are too busy to employ full and correct spellings for street rep--Just ask HJBBaD-- he did use a "4" to acknowledge the point. I would have used the number "2" to underscore the boobies lacie suckle thigh
# posted by : 2:37 PM
: 2:37 PM
Um, Ol'Bag, if he's the penultimate douche, who is the ultimate douche? ("Penultimate" means "next to the last.")
Be sure you're going to know what a word means before you use it.
Ol'Bag's Mom
P.S. I vote for Hairy.
Be sure you're going to know what a word means before you use it.
Ol'Bag's Mom
P.S. I vote for Hairy.
# posted by : 3:08 PM
: 3:08 PM
Earglasm's hott has that puss that screams "high maintenance bitch" so they're out.
Hairy is just a metal-head who thought he'd "go punk" for the night.
P Doody has the stupidest fucking tatt I've seen in ages. And I want to be smothered to death in Carly's cleaves.
Doody dood it for the win.
Hairy is just a metal-head who thought he'd "go punk" for the night.
P Doody has the stupidest fucking tatt I've seen in ages. And I want to be smothered to death in Carly's cleaves.
Doody dood it for the win.
My vote is for P. Doody. If Carly Hott chooses him over the 2008 HCwDB of the Year, he must be pure poo.
Edison stole all Tesla's ideas and then ran a huge smear campaign against him. He was a douche a head of his time. Therefore, I must vote for The Earglasm. Plus, Cindy Crawford hot looks as annoyed with him as the rest of the world is.
Wow. That is a very competitive Weekly, DB1. Usually, as I scroll through the choices, the stank ass choade jumps off the page, but this week the case can be easily made for all 3.
Hairy's hott and her seeming ambivalence to such a fuckstain kissing her disturbs me greatly. She appears to be the anti-bleeth but then she lets this ass clown into her orbit. It makes me want to punch him in the throat.
P. Doody brings a shocking lack of foresight while simultaneously bringing metric tons of foreskin with that gay ass tat. I would be glad to rip that twig of an arm off and bash his fucking skull in with it. And Carly hott? What is she a stage 4 by now. Bitch, you are down hard.
Earglasm actually introduces what may become the next sensation in choadacity by using the mandana as a lanyard for your A/X retard glasses. He also clearly knows that he is trying to pull something really fucking stupid off and is demonstrating the, "What the fuck are you looking at?" pose as hypothetical deterrent to mockery. Well, sorry fuckface, mockery and a sustained beating with a lead pipe is what you deserve. While I can't actually cave your fucking head in with an axe handle online, I can vote you for the HCWDB weekly and crush your larynx with sweet mockery.
Earglasm FTW.
Hairy's hott and her seeming ambivalence to such a fuckstain kissing her disturbs me greatly. She appears to be the anti-bleeth but then she lets this ass clown into her orbit. It makes me want to punch him in the throat.
P. Doody brings a shocking lack of foresight while simultaneously bringing metric tons of foreskin with that gay ass tat. I would be glad to rip that twig of an arm off and bash his fucking skull in with it. And Carly hott? What is she a stage 4 by now. Bitch, you are down hard.
Earglasm actually introduces what may become the next sensation in choadacity by using the mandana as a lanyard for your A/X retard glasses. He also clearly knows that he is trying to pull something really fucking stupid off and is demonstrating the, "What the fuck are you looking at?" pose as hypothetical deterrent to mockery. Well, sorry fuckface, mockery and a sustained beating with a lead pipe is what you deserve. While I can't actually cave your fucking head in with an axe handle online, I can vote you for the HCWDB weekly and crush your larynx with sweet mockery.
Earglasm FTW.
P for Poo. As much as Hairy's do is asinine it could be repaired. That tat needs to be blacked over. But I sense he's too stupid to do so...
Hairy can't compete. Neither can Earglasm.
P. Doody's absolute commitment to the practice of choad are beyond reproach.
He is truely Poo 4 Life.
P. Doody FTW.
P. Doody's absolute commitment to the practice of choad are beyond reproach.
He is truely Poo 4 Life.
P. Doody FTW.
# posted by : 5:26 PM
: 5:26 PM
In the absence of the incredibly moronic, incredibly Douchy,and incredibly entertaining Colt, I'll have to vote for Hairy. They are all equally douchy to me, so it's the bleethiness of the hotts that separate them for me. And Cheryl Crowhott is the least bleethy, and therefore the hottest to me.
# posted by : 5:30 PM
: 5:30 PM
P is for Please knock before entering...from behind!!I gotta go with #2 P.Doody For the win! He also has the hottest hot.
# posted by : 5:30 PM
: 5:30 PM
It's close this week, but i give it to Hairy Bellafonte.Because "Every Day is a winding Choad" and he must've driven a long way in a convertible to kiss and fondle Sheryl Crow. And who wouldn't.
# posted by : 6:11 PM
: 6:11 PM
Skrong weekly, as they say on the "skreets". And by "skreets" I mean my safe suburban gated community.
Has to go for Hairy Belafonte, but more so the vote is for his fine ass woman. She is all sorts of pure, and I can only imagine she was on her way to the beach with her friends and had to pick up the one nasty friend in the group who rolls with douches, and Hairy in particular. While waiting for the skank-o to puke up her lunch before departure the girls sat on the couch, and Cheryl was too slow and got the spot next to Hairy. He spent the following 96 seconds hitting on her, culminating in this photo, which Cheryl patiently waited for because she's nice like that.
Trust me, that girl has never touched that guy. Otherwise, the universe would have to implode...
Trust me, that girl has never touched that guy. Otherwise, the universe would have to implode...
If I were the Golden Douchebag Eagle, here's how I'd handle these three scrotes: Hairy Belafonte would be pulled by the hair into a big-ass boulder before I let him go to the valley floor.
Earglasm would have his throat ripped out immediately so I could transport his carcass to my young.
And Doody? Why I'd just sneak that bitch off the cliff so I could hear him scream "Player 4 Life!" for 500 feet before he rolled to a stop like a sack of potatoes.
And while Doody's and Belafonte's fate are both equally hilarious, I have to go with Belafonte and Cheryl Crowhott for the win, because she is all that is naturally hot and I dig her bikini color arrangement.
Earglasm would have his throat ripped out immediately so I could transport his carcass to my young.
And Doody? Why I'd just sneak that bitch off the cliff so I could hear him scream "Player 4 Life!" for 500 feet before he rolled to a stop like a sack of potatoes.
And while Doody's and Belafonte's fate are both equally hilarious, I have to go with Belafonte and Cheryl Crowhott for the win, because she is all that is naturally hot and I dig her bikini color arrangement.
Hairy Belafonte is rated L for LOSER, because he's getting my vote for the weekly.
that is my way of reconciling with my dilemma between Belafonte and Poo4Life.
but i have yet to reconcile with my burning and throbbing boner for Cheryl. that boner cannot be reconciled with. it must be jacked mercilessly.
that is my way of reconciling with my dilemma between Belafonte and Poo4Life.
but i have yet to reconcile with my burning and throbbing boner for Cheryl. that boner cannot be reconciled with. it must be jacked mercilessly.
You can peacock it, as Hairy does. You can aspire to it, as Earglasm does.
Or you can live it, like P Doody.
Show me proof that Hairy is committed to that hairstyle beyond a ass-drunk weekend at Rehab and I'll recalculate. Earglasm isn't even in the running (his hott is outstanding but the look on her face says that she's realized she's doling out pity fucks).
But for now, P Doody had that shit tattooed. on. his. arm. How can you argue with that? Plus, he's fondling a queen bleeth and the cost of that... well, herpes and hepatitis are forever.
P Doody FTW
Or you can live it, like P Doody.
Show me proof that Hairy is committed to that hairstyle beyond a ass-drunk weekend at Rehab and I'll recalculate. Earglasm isn't even in the running (his hott is outstanding but the look on her face says that she's realized she's doling out pity fucks).
But for now, P Doody had that shit tattooed. on. his. arm. How can you argue with that? Plus, he's fondling a queen bleeth and the cost of that... well, herpes and hepatitis are forever.
P Doody FTW
Hairy FTW. The other two hotts are too bleethed out for me to care that they are with raging d-bags. But Cheryl is so sweet and cute that she hasn't got the heart to tell Hairy to fuck off, and her level of empathy for the mentally challenged is so high that she doesn't even recoil when he plants a kiss on her cheek. She makes me want to cut of my hand and attach a chainsaw to the stump, Ash Williams style, and rid the world of that abomination. She would be so smitten with me that we would retire to my studio apartment and watch Evil Dead II while drinking 3 Buck Chuck.
# posted by : 12:32 AM
: 12:32 AM
err "cut off" that should read, not cut of. proofreading ability is inversely proportionate to the amount of malt liquor consumed.
# posted by : 12:35 AM
: 12:35 AM
Hairy FTW! You know how your dog will stick its head out of the window and then get that rumpled, shaggy kind of look. Well, Hairy did that only he forgot that he had seven pounds of Axe hair gell in and when Sheryl Crowehott told him to put his ridiculous face/ass in the car his head struck a telephone poll and the result was a poor imitation of Wheatstalks. I'd love to shave all that shit off with a rusty cheese grater.
Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
# posted by : 6:04 AM
: 6:04 AM
P. Doody wins this round.
While hair that seems designed to make ordinary tasks impossible (riding in a car? Forget about it) and sunglasses positioned to make a booby-shaped untanned spot on the side of your face are both depraved acts, nothing makes me lose respect for someone's humanity quite like the Rated P tatt. Also, he has the hottest hott, and by that I mean boobiest boobs.
While hair that seems designed to make ordinary tasks impossible (riding in a car? Forget about it) and sunglasses positioned to make a booby-shaped untanned spot on the side of your face are both depraved acts, nothing makes me lose respect for someone's humanity quite like the Rated P tatt. Also, he has the hottest hott, and by that I mean boobiest boobs.
P. Doody- At first his smile threw me off, but it's clear to me now that he only wants to show off his kickass tricep tattoo to the camera, and Carly is in the way. She should pay attention to her boobs: they're about to swallow a lock of her hair.
Earglasm is a close second for sheer vapidity
(is that a word?)
Earglasm is a close second for sheer vapidity
(is that a word?)
# posted by : 7:32 AM
: 7:32 AM
This was a tough one: Hairy Belafonte is almost too ridiculous to be real, though he does give me nightmares. And his "hott," isn't really. Earglasm, on the other hand, has a lot going. This pussy has the usual douche field markers as well as innovative scroticity: "splosionhead" hair and the inexplicable sunglasses perch. Plus his hott is HOTT. EARGLASM!
# posted by : 8:24 AM
: 8:24 AM
P. Doody and here's why - the other two probably only spent a combined 20 minutes on their douche accessories (hair, sunglasses tuck, etc.). P. Doody had the idea for his horrible tattoo, maybe thought about it for a few days, went to the tattoo parlor, sat in the chair for a couple of hours while it was done, all the while thinking "Bro, this is going to be fucking sweet." And now that he's landed Carly Hott, it's only reinforcing his opinion. He must be mocked for this.
"Looking for luv? You're in the wrong place."
Indeed, P. Doody. Indeed.
"Looking for luv? You're in the wrong place."
Indeed, P. Doody. Indeed.
# posted by : 9:02 AM
: 9:02 AM
P Doody FTW, that tattoo has made me slap a baby, punch my granny and rent a Sandra Bullock romcom. Oh and use the word 'romcom.' Life no longer has meaning.
# posted by : 9:10 AM
: 9:10 AM
Earglasm FTW his mind bending douche moves are so 3008 and all the other taint pubs are so 2000 and late
#2. Gonna be hard to 'splain that tattoo to the illegitimate grandkids at 75.
# posted by : 10:04 AM
: 10:04 AM
Hairy FTW. Some pictures speak 1000 words; this one makes kittens die in their sleep.
# posted by : 10:15 AM
: 10:15 AM
Hairy and Cheryl because Cheryl is so not a Baguette, and that makes her hott. I wouldn't look at my watch for the other two "hot chicks". For Cheryl I'd climb the Alpe d'Huez and paint "WWDB1D" a half kilometer from the top and then race my now rusty red tricycle to the top, but instead of sprinting all the way up, I would draft off the other tricyclists, letting them do all the hard work, and then pass them at the last minute and wave my butt at them in my tightest shorts, because that's how they roll over there in France.
Le Douche de Soleil
Le Douche de Soleil
# posted by : 1:12 PM
: 1:12 PM
I have to admit I'm seriously torn - (i.e. I know I just heard a massive scrotal ripping sound down below. Though that might have been from convulsions caused from getting my pesky Pilonidal Cyst marsupialised as I type this...)
But, no matter how vexing the choad, we still must decide.
P. Doody should win this if only for that fucking über-stupid Tatt...
But,
Hairy (obviously just a wimpy Poseur) Bella-Faux-Hawk's HOTT makes me mysteriously want to have intimate and prurient relations with a shelf full of sturdily bound reference books...
I gotta give it to Hairy's HOTT - But only by a recently shaved librarian's pubis mons hair...
But, no matter how vexing the choad, we still must decide.
P. Doody should win this if only for that fucking über-stupid Tatt...
But,
Hairy (obviously just a wimpy Poseur) Bella-Faux-Hawk's HOTT makes me mysteriously want to have intimate and prurient relations with a shelf full of sturdily bound reference books...
I gotta give it to Hairy's HOTT - But only by a recently shaved librarian's pubis mons hair...
I'm giving it to Hairy...though #2 may just deserve Hall of Scrote induction for that goddamn tattoo.
GOD....SO MUCH HATE FOR THAT DAMN THING!!!!
GOD....SO MUCH HATE FOR THAT DAMN THING!!!!
Weak lineup. Like the Royals. Maybe it's working - the mocking of the douche. Gotta go with the Fuckwit with the stupid tatoo. Fuckwit 4 Life!
Jesus "Taint" McGarnagle
Jesus "Taint" McGarnagle
# posted by : 11:42 PM
: 11:42 PM
Doody now for the future. Even if Commissioner Gordon put a schlorthead on a searchlight, you couldn't have a clearer signal that this guy's an epic choad.
Plus, Carly gets hotter every time we see her here. In another couple of pics we'll only be able to see her reflection through a pinhole in a shoebox
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Plus, Carly gets hotter every time we see her here. In another couple of pics we'll only be able to see her reflection through a pinhole in a shoebox
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