Wednesday, July 01, 2009

 

The Tiki Douche II


Even the Bud Light Totem Pole has to turn away in digust as Tiki Douche macks on another Boardwalk Hott.

Is T.D. making a strong case to appear in the HCwDB of the Week on Monday?

Comments:
Forehead glint, wrist mandana, and awkward cup-holding/fingerbanging show the choad has going on distracts me from the Tiki's forlorn stare into the middle distance...

Not enough to distract me from the perky softy boobie squeezies
 
The chin stud, weird tatts and wristdanna should automatically qualify TD for a weekly, I would think.
 
Tiki Barfer and 'Splosionhead might be neck&neck for the Weekly.....
 
Yet another one-pose wonder - I think that's the douche move of 2009:

Kettlehead's raised eyebrow
E-Blo's vacant stare
Bucky's hat tilt

Now this?
 
^Tiki Barfer, LOLLLL!!!!

I thought it was Corey Feldouche.

Evidence of a total choadwank standing in the same spot, grabbing any girl who doesn't try to gouge out his eyes as he approaches, and forcing one of his buddies to stand there and take pics. And then when he gets home he shows the other fucknutses he hangs out with, saying "Dude, bra, look at all the chicks I scored!"

Uh, asswangler, ler me explain something to ya. You "scored" nothing but photos. And jerking off to all of them later doesn't mean you had sex with any of the girls. Just sayin'.
 
Douche in background,(yellow shirt) is about to whip it out.
 
Douche in background,(yellow shirt) is about to whip it out.
 
M.O.,
Jerkin off IS close to scoring with the hotties. As close as some of us will get.
I effin hate the kissy lips. Why do they do this?
Nice to see Bud Lite represented, and not in the typical can. Points for originality on that one.
 
T.D.'s Japanese tat translation:

He who pierces nipple with tiny gold-colored safety pin is certain to have equally tiny penis.
 
Tiki is starting to grow on me... and by that I mean like a case of poison oak on the family jewels. Bandana on the wrist, gelled up faux, super gay tatt, blingy piercings and kissy kissy face? Looks pretty douchetastic to me! Hard to say if his hotts are cutting the muster as that one looks a bit snaggle-toothed.. Guy in the back going for his peeter looks like a big douche as well! I think we could have the makings of a weekly here.
 
...and then Mr. White tucked his junk back into his cargo shorts, before quietly strolling back to his basement.
 
Nice tats. I'm sure you're telling everyone "its a work in progress".. But sorry Teek, no matter how much more shite you add to this feeble disaster, it will never look anything but gay as fuck. But keep standing there, eventually the girls will get more drunk and desperate...

-Douche Douchestofferson
 
I would think that JEANS AT THE MOTHERFUCKING BEACH!!!! would qualify this dipshit for Hall Of Scrote without the typical 5 years retired waiting period.
 
That hottie! Such glorious womanhood! Never in the history of my functioning boy-parts have my loins danced such a reckless lambada within the moth-ridden confines of my Hanes as they do at the sight of this magnif...ic....ent........Erica?????
 
Hey bud, did you pay your 7-yr old nephew draw your tats. It shows!
 
gees those arm tats are horrible
 
How do I douche thee? Let me count the ways... (...just another way to say "Let's take a douche inventory.")

- Receding fauxhawk (notice gel'd comb-over to hide widows peak)
- 3 "look at me" body piercings (Have to pass him on earring. I've had mine since 13--must maintain integrity)
- 1 Jesus bling (Riiight.)
- 1 Japanese kanji tattoos (Hope to God the artist was a HCwDB commentator)
- 1 kissy lips (in BOTH photos)
- 1 mandana (convenient chin-wipe after sneaking off to "cruisey" beach toilet)
- 1 studded belt (another form of "white belt"?)
- Jeans in the middle of the beach on a sunny day (Clearly hiding that he spends any amount of gym time working on his...GUNS! He's a scrawny motherfucker, so it's a stretch.)

Note: May I suggest that everything this guy "adorns" himself with is clearly to hide something or compensate a shortcoming???
 
yellow shirt background choad preps himself in anticipation of the eventual TD totem smoke
 
fuck this website. It just makes me hate women. So help me god if one more fucking girl asks me if I have any tattoos that she can see I'm just going to flip out on her stupid ass. Another girl wanted to put gell in my hair. No I will not put fucking gell in my hair.
 
just kidding I love this website though. KEEP IT UP DB1
 
I'm constantly amused at how 'bags (and women too) futily try to display some worldy/eccentric/mysterious persona by slapping Chinese or Japanese characters across their bodies.

There are enough nasty tats and wifebeater tees in the pic to last a while.

- Oucheday Agbay
 
ABs = douchebag? You guys are fucking haters
 
@ Medusa 3:23 pm

Your last paragraph assaults the very core of my belief system*.

Say it ain't so....



Full Disclosure: Includes wanking furiously to your avatar. And Baron's. And Ashfish's. And mine. And Croosh's. But mostly mine.


Oh yeah, and DB1's.

And Troy's.

And Margaret Thatcher.

 
Jeans at the beach with no shirt? That's not douchey, that's just f**ckin stupid.
 
What, darksock, my avatar isn't hot enough for you?

At least wank it to this picture of me, as Crucial pointed out, adding a little lemon zest to some of the partygoers' drinks in the background.
 
@Mr. White,

Just so you know, I used to beat my meat to your avatar on a nightly basis when you had that dude with the burlap sack over his head from that one movie.

Seriously, I almost stole it when you got rid of it.

I also like Hypersexualgirl's, because... well, hell... I love everything about her.
 
Tiki Douche is a strong contender for the Weekly, DB1. If he pulls off the Totem Pole/hott trifecta, he should get a pass straight into the monthly.

Oh and the Bud Light Totem Pole should go into the Hall of Scrote right now. And by that I mean, I want one at my place.
 
yeah Mr. White, I used to regularly Filet my Fish to your old creepy avatars

hell I aint shy...

sorry Crucial, I could never get wood for Joe Strummer, though believe me I tried.

& DarkSock, I made your AV into toilet paper. we get intimate!
 
I beat it to Wheezer’s avatar… yes, I like dogs, but I never cuddle after.
 
Euripidouche is sexy as well... and Rookie... and IdahoHott Pot.
 
And don't get me started on Pfah. That cute lil' bald bastid.
 
i think the tat is symbolic of the botched dillation and curettage that resulted in him being born to the delight of no one. he is the figure in sillouette abstract imagery in the uterus. the japanese writting says, malpractice hurts everyone.
 
Well float me a Kon-TIKI, I say he resembles Bra!Broheim! in the mouth area. It's that sniveling upper lip curled over the lower one...Missing the liter pop bottle, of course.
She's got the proper shoulder pose, but it's a reflex from his arm around her back and hand tucked under her arm, inching dangerously close to her boobie- area.
 
the yellow sleeveless bag is still there? that's sad.
 
Those are some terrible god damn tattoos. Please cut your arms off.
 
saggy pectoral muscle and east-meets west tattoobomination.

Put him on the list DB1.
 
That is not hot, but his douche is extraordinary.
 
Here you go, just for you guys. ---->
 
fap fap fap fap fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap.......
 
....aaaaand i'm spent!
 
that was the best minute. ever.
 
@Scrötinger’s Cat...thanks. how very kind of you.
 
He needs to upgrade the quality of the hott he's mugging. Otherwise he's a second-rate douche.
 
I think TD should be win next week's HCwDotW now. Nothing could be nominated that would rival this poo. That is, unless Bucky has a ruh-tard half brother who has escaped from the attic.
 
Strong candidate - hope you can find some worthy scrotes to match up. Of course, I never (really) end up voting for the eventual winner in HCwDB, so what the hell do I know?

Anon Gee Bee
 
Translation! A bottle of Grappa to the linguist who tells me that the kanji reads "Of two men who love each other, I am the one who plays the woman."
 
Who in the hell uses a straw to drink a beer?

"And for the Weekly - WE HAVE A WINNER!"

B-B-B-Bag TO The Bone
 
women are fucked in the head. This is why women will always be the SECOND sex.
 
Tiki Douche never quite learned the significance of the punch line "May I push in your stool?"
 
@ Anonymous at 10:53PM.

Women are why you'll always have SOLO sex.
 
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