I hope this isn't the ass pear of the week!
 

First!!
 

Those were both mine, still first.
 

He's checking the goods before finally deciding that her asspear is too feminine for him.
 

nice ass, but an ass for a face.
 

WOw, sweet candy striped ass pear. Twiddle Sticks ass pear.

Don't think he's staring at the ass pear part of her torso..but will in time get around to it...
waistband.
 

This douchebag's hat tilt is a lot more serious than at first appears: so serious, the entire photo is tilting.
 

WHat the hell does his hat say? "Handsome Dandy"?
 

sweet niblets that ass pear is delicious, from the part that we affectionately refer to as the "legasse" up to the coin slot peeking out at the top
 

I'd like to stuff a sharpened piece of rebar in that ass... then I would pat her fanny
 

"Handsome Devil" is what the cap says
 

Trust me, I'm a college graduate.
 

@ creature

I see what you did there...
 

He's checking for a penis.

If there isn't one, he's not interested.
 

I'm going to Veags this weekend.

Wish me luck.

I hope I don't get infected.
 

My goodness, is she tiny. Like a little pixie, I could just stick her in my pocket and be on your way. And by stick her in my pocket I mean give her a bubble bath.
 

*Sniff

“Bacon with a hint of arugula.”
 

As a champion nose picker for decades , I always wonder what that pierced stud in your honker would feel like.

I imagine it would be like an incredible mass waiting to be drawn out like that occassional beauty that you hook with a slightly chipped portion of your pinky that dregs out a 2 incher from deep in the recesses of the septum that seems like a speed bump has been removed from your brain and clears the mind for higher thought.


Or not.
 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Pat, I can’t see any evidence bulging out the back. No sir, that’s one grade-A tuck job.”
 

“Now, where did you say that festering ingrown hair was again?”
 

"Dammit, I know I left my keys in there somewhere."
 

“Honey, you have to move your bikini bottoms over more than that if you want to fill this cup to the brim.”
 

"Darling, that bottom covers your elongated coccyx just fine."
 

"Sweetie, the tampon string blends in perfectly with the vertical white stripes."
 

"Ye gods my dear, the pimples do form a perfect rhombus."
 

This be-hatted douchebag is posing as if he's some sort of high level connoisseur of women. Of course, a blind man could see the indisputable hotness of that tanned perfection, so he's not noticing anything the rest of us haven't. Thanks, Captain Obvious, for pointing out how hot that hott is. Your powers of observation are appreciated. Next week we'll practice pointing to the red ball. No, the red ball, not the blue ball. It's okay. You'll get it eventually. Just keep trying.
 

I think every chick in this pic has a tramp stamp. True her derriere is nice and shapely but these Vegas sluts are just as douchey as the men that infect them.
 

PhilthyPhil is correct. Vegas churns these cum dumpsters out like happy meals. That said, I bang pixie ass pear till her nose piercing caught fire.
 

that's quite the shitcutter she's got there.
 

i hate to post a link here, but it does lead to some Friday Ass Pear...


http://iheartchaos.com/content/lady-libertys-never-been-sexier-pic
 

and yes, i know today's Thursday.
 

Remember, in regards to the pear, it's not the face your fucking...it's the fuck your facing!
 

doesn't it say "handsome dong" on his hat?

i like her derriere, but those small black leather purses and all the associated personality traits that come with them scare the shit out of me.

i train hotts, i rehabilitate douches. i am the douche whisperer.
 

The little black purse is where she keeps her bottle of gypsy tears.
 

That's no ass pear,

THIS


is an ass pear.

Ines Sainz
 

@Pfah,

Re: The link.

Fuck you.

But, on the bright side, I knew a picture of Plinky would show up here sooner or later.
 

@Vin Douchal,

Re: The links.

Thank you.

I'll be back in thirty-eight seconds. If anyone needs me, you'll know where to find me.
 

ah now this is more my tempo. that winsome one below makes me feel ooky. like i'm wearing muddy boots on fresh steam cleaned carpet...this one is clearly the sexual equivalent of a sawdust joint....
handsome devil is just trying on hats. if her cant get her ass to tilt right, i can still use her.
 

Wow.. Inez ... boinggg!!
 

Carlos still failed to grasp the concept of "oral sex".
 

Yeah baby. Inez vs Vegas skank. No contest. Inez gets my vote and the skank gets the jizz.
 

handsome devil had decided to get some on the side, but he wasn't sure exactly how that was supposed to work.
 

Does anyone else get the impression that we're in some kind of ass pear convention???
There's like five other ass pears in the background and there's all kinds of douchery going on. This must be the market where hott is paired up (auctioned off) to the highest (lowest) bidder (sexually transmitted swine flue vector)
Pixie has apparently just met her purchaser (douchemaster).

Douchylicious
 

@Crucial Head...i know man. sorry. that was really uncalled for from me.



hey all, i'm out of here. time to head home and start drinkin'.


have a safe and happy 4th everyone.
 

Veggi Bag failed to see the turtle's head peeking out of the sleek striped shell, but he did get a whiff of Turtle Wax upon closer inspection.
 

"Darla...you been hangin' 'round that Mr. White dude again?"
 

"Well, lookie lookie - she got one-a-them thar third nipple thingies on her hip bone!"
 

"My hat tilt's never been better, since she installed that thigh mirror!"
 

"Man that's wicked kewl - she's got a black hairy strip that runs right up to her sternum!"
 

Pfah's ass pear pic made this little Guatemalan refugee orphan boy with polio cry.

So I punched a puppy in the ass and now we're both laughing.
 

"I'm glad I'm fuccen dead gay 'cuz this bitch ain't got enough hair on her ass. She also ain't gonna get me a hat like this one Bruce got me!"
 

Sure. You guys are spending so much time clowning this guy that you can't appreciate his luck. So he tilts his hat. He probably got laid, and you, well, get to type the haterade. Bitches! Inquire within.
 

"Haterade"? No, I go for H2. Fewer clichés.
 

anon 1:18

The metaphors in your writing is like the sperm in your ass: you're mixing too many.
 

He's just coveting the tramp stamp. His own says "Hit it Hard!" in calligraphy beneath the fluttering wings of a My Little Pony. (accidentally turn the wrong corner near Freemont St. and you'll see much you would soon like to forget.)

Just to be obvious, that is a gay tattoo. I think it would've been better if he had pursued a "circle of life" motif. Transform the Pony into a unicorn which is cornholing a very confused panda which is in turn fisting Smurfette who is fellating the unicorn's horn. It's technically possible; I've built a model using two anatomically modified beanie babies and a troll doll. I don't know what this holy tramp stamp would be, but it wouldn't be gay. The 'bag might continue his homosexual pursuits but the ink wouldn't be gay.
 

Douche? what douche? all I saw was sweet, sweet ass pear!
 

"Wait. Where's YOUR pee pee?"
 

"I gotta stick my hoo-ha in there? Sister, you are ca-RAZY!" *snaps fingers*
 

that is a really nice ass pear.
 

gynecology.
 

douchminster

why do all that, he can just do an open ended graphic novel about the time the cast of "who's the boss" played leapfrog with a unicorn. the depiction of laughter on their faces when tony danza "lost" could win an award.
 

@euripidouche

I was going for a nonrecursive vibe plus I like using anatomically accurate (and occasionally exagerated) beanie babies to visualize things. re: "who's the boss," Judith Light actually lost first, it's just that she didn't notice it and no one had the heart to tell her.
 

@ Creature 9:46 AM,

spoken like a true RODBUSTER!

other than that i have nothing more to add about this pic.
 

I'd hit it.
 

yes technically judith light took a leaner,merely a glancing blow up her back. but it was danza that got skull deep on unicorn. of course the controversy that followed when he released his bowels was a long time brewing. unicorns are bitterly divided about playing leapfrog with humans. those that do are referred to as "shithead unicorns" i think its a double standard. not much other work in serious entertainment fot unicorns.
 

I think he's checking to see if she's packing.