Friday, August 21, 2009

 

Friday Thoughts and Links


There's something to be said for the superhuman douchescrotes carrying ever onward despite age, receding hairlines and potential skin cancer.

Refusing to bow down to societal mock, they douche ever onward. Hat tilting and hair gelling to the last.

For all of us here at HCwDB, we need our supervillains to battle.

Without The Gator, the Donk, Fish Slap and Smoot, where would we as a society know to draw the line at garish turd-douchery in presence of the hott?

They help us to define the poo. As such, we should... well, continue to mock their sorry asses.

Here's your links:

Gramps wins! Good for gramps.

Do you hear that sucking sound in Vegas? It's a natural phenomenon that geologists call The Triforce of Douche.

Mila Kunis is the future ex-Mrs.DB1. I will woo her with dandelion wine and fried plantains until she grows bored and texts her agent demanding he cut the meeting short.

Some dude in Hollywood is on a comedy mission: Arthur Kade: The Miniseries. I'm just pleased I was one of the quotes featured. And now here's Arthur Kade: The Miniseres, Part 1. The problem is, Kade'll be flattered.

For the ladies: How to reduce cleavage wrinkles? Kush Support.

Reality thespian, intellectual scion and humanitarian social theorist Jon Gosselin is turning so douchey, the TLC network plans to blur all Ed Hardy from the show.

Orange County seems offended that I place them in my top five HCwDB areas. You may quibble with the rhetoric but can you really challenge the underlying premise? Or, in OC speak, "why y'all bein' a playah hatah?"

"I advertise my business with my muscles"

And finally, because I like to give back to the community, here's some hydroponic ass pear.

Go forth and celebrate. Another day of living.

Comments:
**clicks on**


I Love Ass Pear


**clicks off**

 
A Friday without ass pear is like a friday without......er, something.


Today's is exceptional.
 
Gramps with the ubiquitous red cup! You bastard you! Don't shave a thing for us.
 
Congrats to the OC.......You suck
 
The Kush Support is awesome.

I was a little freaked out by the Granny, though! :|
 
The hotts on that beach in Chi-town were thrilled with Grandpa Munster after they encountered the Donk and his greasy boy friend. Big improvement.
I hope they're not down wind.
 
Check the date on the Grandpa post. That IS the Donk five years from now. Fate is not kind to the douche. Party on Donkey, party on.
 
Have to admit that the Donk's hott is exquisitely sculpted hott. Clearly she's had her tongue buds removed and nostrils permanently fused. That filthy scrote is so baked and crispy it's got to be like licking a walking, 300 lb. scab.

I shally pity her. And by pity I mean i shall paste pictures of her inside my eyelids so that I may see her right through the moment of climax.
 
Thank you for the Friday Ass Pear DB1.

When I die I want to be reincarnated as a kush support. Or maybe just go into the business of being a human kush support. That will do nicely.
 
So the OC's MetBlog calls this site "...juvenile but hypnotic..."

Who are you calling "hypnotic", pal? We will roll up in your shit with some axe handles and make you think hypnotic...
 
I need one of those kush supports for my balls. That's a hint for my Christmas present, BTW.
 
This post has been removed by the author.
 
I wish TLC would blur Jon and Kate while they're at it.
 
This post has been removed by the Arthur (Kade).
 
The Kush also conveniently doubles as a double-ended dildo AND butt plug.
 
Total combined IQ of the triforce of douche:

In the immortal words of Dean Wormer, “Zero… point… zero.”
 
@ DarkSock 1:51p

Thanks. Now I have a piece of fruit cocktail lodged in my sinus. Glad the office is out of chips.
 
Yes, you can get what you want from begging, thanks DB1! I just loving washing the Kade Train just crash and crash and crash again. And when you think he possibly couldn't be any dumber or more clueless... or more douchey... or more gay...

Bam! he crashes even harder. I want to drink his tears for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

And go gramps, definite nottadouche, but most certainly a scholar and a gentleman.




In closing, as always, delightful ass pear. I want to live out the rest of my days nestled snugly inside her rectum.
 
I'd like to make fun of "I advertise my business with my muscles" man, but he's just too damn friendly and likable.

Have a good Friday too DB1! I can't believe you're giving business to Arthur Kade though...blah.
 
OH GAWD I JUST SAW THE GRAMPS PIC. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
OH GAWD
PLEASE NO
PLEASE NO
HAS THE FORGET-PILL COME OUT ON THE MARKET YET???
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
 
I think Gramps just climbed out of the sewer for that pic
 
Did someone say, "Side boob"?

Yum.
 
Pauly Shore's gettin' buff now? Is he another Carrot Top? That was Shore about 5-10 seconds in that muscle video, wasn't it? AGH.....

Nice ass pear this week!

Here's a thought for TLC: BLUR THAT STUPID SHOW. It's called "cancellation" and would force those opportunistic twits to move on to another channel or medium.

Maybe "Gramps" is Papa Donk.....?
 
Guys if you are Anti-Kade check out legowigkade.blogspot.com
Our goal is to end his "journey" and the "brand".
 
@ anonymous 2:29
ouch! the "about this blog" is harsh!! tell kade anything with salicylic acid might help with adult acne lol.
 
Nice fucking photo, Donk.

Saturday Night Douchebag?

Scroting Alive?

Gramps---be careful. you're never too old to get STDs.

Arthur Kade guy deserves a lot of respect---it takes massive balls to walk down the street and claim to be one of the most detestable pricks in all of humanity. Bravo, sir, and I hope nobody stabs you.

Kush Support....will someone please explain to me how packing a rolling pin between my tits leads to a better night's sleep? Thanks.

TLC=The Loser Channel. Will someone please explain to me what can be "learned" from watching shows like Jon & Kate Plus 8 lab-created freaks?

Gym dude---seems ok and knowledgeable, but anyone who goes to the gym dressed like that, whether they own the place or not, is Autodouche.
 
Gramps needs to take his angora sweater off at the beach.
 
Nice tats on the ass pear. But do the Chinese characters translate to I'm not on the pill and I have herpes and syphillus?

And gramps is my hero! But he probably spiked their drinks with Everclear.
 
I had a Chinese friend translate Ass Pear's tatt. It reads, "Follow the ink road to the promised land."
 
@Medusa^

I can see why you would think the Kush is a bad idea.



How about my scrotato?
 
For all those hatin' on Gramps - go ahead - hate on - you'll be in the same boat in 30 years.

Imagine you're in your early 60s. Your wife is dead or divorced. You're an average schmoe, and you have normal desires. Like desires for smokin hott boobie suckle thigh.

If you can pull some 20nothing hott when you're a balding overweight 60something, more power to ya, dude. Hats off. Well done.
 
Gramps is the man. Okay, that's being lenient. Gramps is the C.H.U.D.

Ass pear is nice.
 
Good week as usual boss. And I promise not to hijack this thread with porn movie titles.

I’ve been busy slugging my way through a busy week at work, and this site has provided the needed gaseous catharsis I so desperately crave.

Have a great weekend all you inglorious bastids. I’m leaving on a jet plane, don’t know when I’ll be back again (probably Monday).

Cheers!
 
Cock, Cockk, and Two Smoking Assholes.

















I must apologize.
 
In Gloria's Ass Turds



















Please forgive me.
 
That gym is like a petri dish of douche virus.
 
Bye-Bye.
 
I love translation software. I used a Mandarin to English feature reserved only for the most select, rich, fabulous, and large-membered Babelfish users. Ass Pear's tattoos read:

Registered Prostitute #284592-0, City of Shanghai, Huangpu District, Shanghai Municipality


I know, I know. Gator's got nothing on me!
 
I find it fitting that when HCwDB is mentioned on another blog, they often post a pic of the donk as evidence of the truly outrageous douchebaggery that we mock.
 
David Barton is SUPER DOUCHE and not very good at speaking on camera.

Check it out, Anti-Kade blog... "all the Kade, none of the moderation."

www.legowigkade.blogspot.com

You can read his shit without giving the cock gobbler any web hits.
 
The Donk looks like Sonny Crockett circa 1986 only with enormous facial features.
 
i do believe that this is the deadliest Friday T&L in a long time.

first, Gramps. (i don't care what Troy says, that is some frightening shit)

then, the Arthur Kade miniseries. if this were extended to a feature length film, it would give The Exorcist a run for its money on the horrormeter. i feel like watching the video is a stunt in and of itself, let alone being part of it.

your sacrifices and dedication will not be forgotten, gentlemen.
 
and for those of you who are wondering, bleethy ass pear's spinal tatts are just random gibberish that don't make any sense.

夢 means "dream."
喜 means "happiness."
悲劇 means "tragedy."
i'm guessing the last 3 characters are 不景氣, which means "economic downturn."

i was gonna propose that Chinese tatts be banned on all non-Chinese persons (like how we were talking about tribal tatts being autodouche unless you have the creds for them) but since they're so fucking popular... y'know.

ugh. douchebags and bleeths and their damage on the Chinese language.
 
that being said, i'd probably still smack her ass.

probably.
 
Look closely at the ass pear.....



Closer.....





Now inhale through your nose.....
 
I love the Dunkin Donuts ad on the abs guy's page. Weight. Ha!
 
Congrats DB1, you're "ubiquitous". And the Donk isn't by the way?
 
Upon looking closely at that huge ass, I could make out some twat.

Yeah, Ass Pear too, but I was referring to John Gosselin.
 
Anon @ 4:21

Priceless observation sir

Croosh @ 3:32

Bahahahahahaha!!!

I got nuthin' cept a raging hangover
 
PS the Ed Hardy plague has spread here to New Zealand. I saw an advert on a bus shelter for Ed Hardy cologne. Won't be long before kiwidouches are stinking it up just like their american broheims
 
Okay, gross me out, DB1, but today's T&L is scrotier than Sturgis SD in a thunderstorm during the Great Ride-In.

Dribbles of poo everywhere.

PS Your ex-Mrs DB1 needs some of dem librarian glasses to finish the look.

Ass pear in bunny undies seems a lot less hydroponic than one in a tomato, carrot and lettuce print.
 
The Kush is cash
 
Okay, I'm late to the party. What'd I miss?
 
I will give a full report with pictorial from LV next weekend. Have to be in for a work event and will capture all the best including Jon Gosselin at the Wet Republic party. I've got a Stars and Straps event full of douche ness and a Palms event. Going covert.
 
2009 - year of the donkey.
 
"Troy Tempest said...

For all those hatin' on Gramps - go ahead - hate on - you'll be in the same boat in 30 years."

Goddamn, I sure hope so!

Unless, of course, those are his daughters.

B-B-B-Bag To The Bone
 
Gym douche looks ridonkulous and is full of shit. "The average person gains a half pound of fat a day" according to him. How many average people do you know that put on 180 lbs of fat in a year?
 
Condouchus just beat me to the gym'bag's retarded math, but what he actually said was that the average adult over 30 loses half a pound of muscle a day AND gains 1.5 pounds of bodyfat a day - in other words, loses 182.5 lbs of muscle a year and gains 547.5 lbs of fat a year. And someone gave this hamhead airtime. Jeezus.

Someone tell me how a hamhead like that gets the money to start a shiny, new facility like that? Seriously, I want to know. I'm a certifiable genius and I can barely afford the leaky warehouse where I keep my mummies. VEXATION!!!!
 
Hydroponics always did do amazing things for fruit. Best ass pear yet. Thanks, DB1
 
Fuck Donkey Douche!
 
I still have puke in my mouth after the gramps pic, but you go gramps!! I think it's grandpa from The Munsters.
 
Confuscious say panties not best thing in world, but next to it.
 
Beautiful side sweater puppet shot!
In the words of the Prophet: Bob Dyldo....."Tangled up in boobs"
 
What is it with his lips??? has he been performing felatio on the pool wiggly?
 
Tasteful tats and tits
http://www.motivatedphotos.com/?id=30807
 
Mila, Mila, Mila... tasty little thing. If only I was 20 years younger I'd be all over you like a boar on borscht!

Excellent call, DB1
 
i was in a travolta phase for this pic. i thought he was really hot in pulp fiction and was so cute with them kids in look whos talking so i wanted to be just like him. next im goin to be babareeno.
 
This morning's dim sum menu leading down to a trans am logo leading down to... bunnies. Sounds like the opening scene of Zoo: The Musical--at least the way I dreamed it.
 
We Are All Made Of Stars by Moby is 2001: A Douche Odyssey. Seriously- it's insane how many true douchebags crawl through that film clip.
 
HA! Kush support was classic.
 
@ You Have Lost The Game

1. Dammit.

2. Yes, Moby is indeed a talentless hack. I emailed him once and asked him how many times he was going to use that string pad to finish all of his songs. He never wrote back.

To Arthur Kade:

I don't have any desires to hate you or mock you. In reality, I actually pity someone so lost in cultural superficiality, and who is clearly drowning in social insecurity. So much so that he feels the need to still name-drop clubs and restaurants and brag about all of the money he pissed away on shitty vodka for average sex he won't remember the next day.

I'm going to open your world, Arthur. There is SO much more to life than Seven Jeans and "exclusive" clubs. There are women who, believe it or not, have something to offer to society other than breasts and vaginas.

All that being said, I'm really excited for the day Arthur Kade actually does move to LA and proceed to get stabbed in the throat by a Mexican hooker when he goes all Kade-style on her.

And props to the guy doing the mocking. Although you need to work on your nasally voice tone, lisp, and overstressed R sound.
 
YEP 2009 THE YEAR OF THE DONK!
 
I guess the Kade prohibition is temporarily lifted.

Good parody, but how on earth do you blow the very first line, "Hi, it's me Arthur Kade"? The guy's only said it 7000 times . . .
 
and then I blow it myself

"Hi everyone, it's me, Arthur Kade . . ."

OK that's squared away now.
 
The video on the Kush Support website is hotter than any porn I have ever seen.
 
Fuck Donkey Douche!
 
the donkster is looking more and more like mickey rourke
 
um... ahhhh.....ummmmm that gym guy is the um..... biggest...ahhhh... douche in ummmm... ahhhh New York and .....ahhh....needs....to learn.....to ahhh.....talk
 
ah, camel toe and ass pear. what a wonderful world.
 
Donkey Douche!!!!
 
Gramps is clearly a devoted convert to the Church of the Ubiquitous Red Cup -- for as this site has demonstrated time & again, with UBC all things are possible...

Mila Kunis makes me blind with Want.

Kush Support: I'm unsure of my opinion of this; more research is needed.

Gym Scrote: "It's not inappropriate touching -- I'm *instructing* her!" Also, for somebody that's supposed to be "so big," why does he look kinda doughy and all of about 5'4"?

And finally, the ass pear: I barely noticed the unfortunate tats because my eyes were caught in an inescapable gravity well along with a swirling cloud of little black bunnies, slipping inexorably towards the great unknown...
 
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