Yeah, that's a Weekly contender right there. Yup.
 

I'd hit it.
 

To reiterate
 

once more
 

Is that fucking Gollum in the middle? Eww.
 

Dang, I need a clean tube sock, but a dirty one will do.

When did Christina Applegate get down syndrome?
 

Looks like the chick on the left is beaving the Cheez and he's too interested in getting his ugly mug photographed to notice. Pathetic.
 

See? I told you! I f'ing told you all! Stage-2 my ass.
 

The Cheez really needs to stand alone in this scenario....
 

I feel like punching the bleach-blonde in the face, just for touching my darling Charleez.

I would drown 50 Noble laureates by holding them upside down with their heads in buckets of quick dry liquid polymer paint, just for the opportunity to give the rusty trombone to the janitor who cleans the toilets at the manufacturing facility in China where the camera that took this picture was made.
 

I met a stripper who was basically Charleez's half-as-attractive and twice-as-chunky doppleganger once. I spent $280 in less than two hours.

I get blue balls just reminiscing about that night of PBR, vomit, cesarean scars, and naked cottage cheese asses.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

Look at Charleez! Is she not beautiful? Had cinnamon been ground and rubbed into her skin, it could not have been more brown, more fragrant, more beloved of the wine-bright sky.

Come, fellow hunters and huntresses! Come admire the wealth of her nation, the pride of her city, the joy of her eyes. Her slender neck and sloping shoulders, they heft those boobies high into the air as they sing the morning up. Hours from now these bleeths will lower their legs and murmur evening down, they will twine forearms and elbows and draw close to each other, brush lash against cheek and embrace before slipping apart to curl fists into every orifice while wait for the morning again. They form a splendid alphabet, do they not? See how how their lips are sewn with tiny golden bells, how their very breath chimes and shines; the better to spell out the hours of the day in brilliance worthy of the Sun!

For I… Crucial Aloysius Head, have developed a monumental case of incurable IOB!

Thank you, and good night.
 

Charleez for the Hall of Hot.

Do it now, or I will actually kill you...









...theoretically kill you.
 

Hall of Hot? Really? To me Charleez seems so bleethed out that she's actually turned ugly.
 

I know what this site is about. The douchebag is an essential element, and without him we would have nothing to mock, but sometimes I wish douchebags, like Cheez here, would just get out of the damn way and let these two lovely ladies get to know each other a little better, letting nature take it's course.
Giggly, hesitant kisses, soon turn to passionate lip-locked, crotch grinding. Then, clothes are ripped off and tossed indiscriminately on the floor, revealing tan lines and taut buttocks. Animal lust takes over, as finally our two heroines, blond hair tossing wildly, grind themselves, breasts heaving, into a foaming, frothing ecstatic climax.


But alas, Hot Chicks, without Douchebags would simply be ...........Friday Ass Pear!


Oh yes, back to the business of douchebags. Cheez here, is a stone cold lock for the weekly.
Take it to the bank.
 

@Anon 3:43pm,

While we are all entitled to our opinions as to what constitutes a hott or not, I propose that you take a second gander through the current lineup of Hall of Hott inductees. There you will find a wide variety of hotts, ranging from next-door-cute, to some pretty bleethed out hotts.

If this hott doesn't loosen the bonds of flacidity on your groinal region... then that's fine by me. I, however, am not so lucky. My boner is currently speaking to me. And it speaks of truth; it speaks of power; and it speaks of powerful yogurt geysers.

And when it speaks... I listen.
 

That is a nice body.

Who was that dude who used to do the obvious shit- captain obvious- no The Observation Specialist-

T O S!! Where are you when we need you
 

Crucial, you never fail to make ME laugh.

-Ponderonymous, ashamedly
 

Cheez, dude, get those chicks away from each other. Once they get all chummy, you'll get cut out, an they'll have each other all to themselves.

Wait...I say that like its a bad thing. Nevermind, carry on.
 

We still need to work on camera angles here. Swing that thing around to the right!
 

Wow...he really can count to two. Nothing can surprise me now!
 

Charleez is a hott for the true connoisseurs of hott tasting. I imbibe her delicate visage through every pore of my being, and I weep gently on a bed mecurous chamomille petals. Her passing scent causes advanced Altzhiemer's patients to recall artitle 319 of the Versailles Treaty. She makes demons confess their sins, and angels place flaming bags of poop on the Vatican's doorstep. The left over sprinklings of glitter, balanos oil, myrrh and resin on her blouse cause OCD patients to drop upper-deckers in their own toilets.

I would violently masterbate in her honor, then sniff the tapioca-like byproducts of our immaginary love session.
 

You thing Cheez stooopid. Yooooooo stewpd. Aye...eye....I got tow samoking bidgs. Wut euw god? Nuffing. Hi geds tu hab sex in both dem budginas and asses. HAHAHA. BOOOOOOBEEEEES! BOOOOOBIIEEES!

F*k me yu faddots! Cheez is bedder. Iz tha BESTEST. Cheez is taste tu. On...on peeeza. On hanberders. An on pass...puss...pissgedi. Yes, aye wud liek a bigmak, a large penchfri, and a Coke pleez.

Heylow?


Heylow?


Did yo here wud I sed?

Stooooopid damberder clowan tawk thing. HEYLOW!!!!!!
 

I'm not going to comment on her hotness or lack thereof, but look at the girl in the middle, specifically her left arm. It looks to be 7 feet long. Maybe it's her emaciated look, or that she's effortlessly grabbing her ankle, but wow.
 

I'd hit that.
 

One more try.
 

Wine-dark labia or no, all three of these have faces that launched a thousand shits.
 

@ HTML Newbie

Tits or GTFO
 

This is just your standard # 2 at McDouchal's:

A western bacon turd burger, with a large bleeth fry, and a delicious vanilla labia shake.

One of my favorites.
 

He smells like cheese. Limburger, I think.

What a knob. How could you be looking away from what is right in front of you?

Oh, yeah. It's hot chicks and what?
 

Someone toss that Epsilon some soma.
 

This guy had "Bouncer" stamped on his forehead from the moment he was pried out of his mother's stretched and tired womb.
 

Oh my goodness, that's Greg Johnson from Piedmont Middle School. This guy repeated 8th grade three times and got kicked out for propositioning the 53 year old lunch lady. Everyone was so much happier when Big Greg was canned.
 

One look at the scrote, and I suddenly found myself singing Devo's "Mongoloid." Ye gods.
 

Moral of the story: join a band, and it's likely you'll have hots falling all over you.
 

Cheez here learned how to count to two today. Good for you cheez, you fucking retard.


the blondes here make me ill. Looking at them, I realise I have NO idea what I could possibly talk to them about outside of pop culture and sex.

Which is fun for an evening, but it's like a diet of cotton candy. Not very nutricious.
 

I give this guy 8-5 on the weekly and 3-1 on the monthly.

I'm not into blondes, but the hotts are quite hott.
 

troy,

how could you possibly have anything to say to any hotts posted on this or any site? your spite for hot chicks betrays your bitterness at being old. i'm sure there are many old cows that are dying to listen to your stories about being an aging hipsterbag at a university.

good for you. those cows offer many many nutricious calories.

when was the last time you popped natural wood? wait, i guess youre a puppet.
 

oh, and troy, i don't mean to be mean, but please don't answer me with a 1200 word comment about how cool your fhx-8000whateverdafuck music equipment is. or how uber-hip and coffee-house cool your underground music collection is. or ramble about how you got ain a gnarly car accident back in the great depression and survived on organic blah blah blahs.


its just douchie, dude.
 

Why are they hanging out with Tara Reid?
 

I wouldn't mind talking about politics with Charleez...




@Anons,
Y'all are funnier when y'all don't say anything at all.
 

@ Anon 7:46/7:52

Those are empty calories there dude.

Also how can you say you're not trying to be mean, and then immediately start off with the personal attacks with barely a comma in between?...

...dick.

But to counter Troy, what's so bad about having a sweet nougaty snack every now and then? It's not like you have to engage them in intelligent conversation while they're getting donkey punched.

"So I was catching up on Rudolph Stiener's The Philosophy of Freedom the other day..." grunt, moan, smack!

Besides all that, my UA 1176LN and Telefunken U-47M kicks all your asses!!!!
 

@Anon^

No one here needs to speak up for Troy T. He does an outstanding job on his own. That said, if you want to take shots, get an avatar so you can take actual credit for your rants. As it is...blah blah blah.


@Troy,

Seriously, if cotton candy came with tits and pussy like Charleez, I'd eat it until my teeth fell out. I'd eat and eat and eat and eat and eat.

And when she said something stupid like "Why don't we ever talk?" I'd touch a finger lightly to her lips and give her one of those You're so silly looks to silence her and then I'd eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat until my hypoglicemia kicked in and I had to take a shot or something.

As it is, how do we know these two aren't smart? After all, Paris Hilton has an IQ of Vagina. Megan Fox has an even higher IQ of Boobs, Pamela Anderson hits the chart at Vaginaboobs, and when she was among the living, Anna Nicole Smith topped out at MegaFloppyTitties. Sometimes looks can be deceiving.
 

@ anon 7:52

"its just douchie, dude."

Well you must be the expert on all things douchie. If you had the mental horsepower to turn your vitriol into actual wit and humor you'd still fall short of The Wooden One. It's easier to tear down than create; lazy ass.

Scrotato's right in one aspect; Troy hardly needs us to take up for him. But I'd submit that your potshot does not earn a response from the likes of him.

And he's a marionette, not a puppet, dumb ass.

I took Troy's comment to be one of substance over peacocking veener, which is the same foundations most of our screeds against douchery are levelled against, no?

Yet paradoxically I would still pee my cockk's veneer in her butt. Yessss.
 

ya'll some defensive psuedo intellectuals. troys meandering off-topic comments mean that much to ya'll? he's an elitist, smug, asshole who comes off as douchie as most of the douchebags featured on the site. do you really think he's smart?

figured i would call a spade a spade.

but, ya'll are so tragically hip with your bad selves, i guess i'll move on knowing the nerve was struck.

troy, the forum is yours. please tell us all about all the latest music equipment you bought at the latest garage sale and how socialism has worked in every civilized country and how much smarter teachers are than average citizens. i mean comrades.
 

Caption:

"The Birth of Paris Hilton"
 

Anon:

"i guess i'll move on knowing the nerve was struck"

You fail to see the irony in your own words I'm sure. heh heh

bye now
 

darksock,

nope, just not as dumb as you might think.

where is troy?
 

Man, Troy, your ex-wife sounds bitter as hell.
 

Anon:

Troy's probably having mad-ass sex with his wife with music perfect for grinding playing in the background through an outstanding, top-of-the-line sound system. You should ask him about either. I'm sure he'd be happy to share, if you're interested.


If you aren't, maybe you should just, I don't know, skip his posts.
 

I have never seen Hott like that in the wild. She must be lab created and this is her Truman show.
 

i was kinda alarmed by DB1's initial stage-2 verdict. stage-4 is more like it.

is this Tight Dresses and Thigh Reveal Overload Day? okay tight dresses are a given on HCwDB. but look at all the legginess we have today. from the leggy Generic Woo Hott in black dress to Katie and the Charleez trifector, it's like we're imprisoned in a jungle of legs. if there's any more mouth-watering suckle thigh coming up, i think i'm gonna have to cut my blankets into comically botched approximations of a pair of suckle thighs and somehow try to hump it.
 

oh wait am i supposed to comment on the Anon v.s. Troy thing?

uh, i'm not one to judge, and i'm not one to speak in Troy's place.

however, i would like to ask Anon one thing:

you know an awful lot about Troy. are you secretly gay for him?

and is this what Ed's stalker was like? y'know, Ed the limericks master who had a stalker?
 

SteveL,

ed died an honorable death. as did plinky. several times. pfah's i.t. people were hard to convince at first, but Doc and i convinced them that bald people were trying to take over the world. i've been working on bcs for some time but he is usually too badly beaten and bruised by his drunnk wife to cooperate properly.

now, it is troy's time to burn. in his socialists hell. wait, he is already doing so if he teaches at a university.

so maybe i shall move on to your ignorarant ass.
 

Despite the trollism, and hi-fi envy of anon's tone, I agree a little about TT.

He does frequently come off as a self-impressed commie professordouche.

I met several profs exactly like him. They're essentially old, wine-sipping, politically radical versions of 'the hipsterbag'.

They usually teach english or econ.



On the other hand, Troy's writing is pretty good.


But yes, he still rankles a little. And the publicizing his personal life doesn't help. That type of stuff should be left on twitter.

So; you take the good with the bad or just ignore him.
 

El Queso,

they usually teach econ or english because they failed at banking or research and development in the real world. they often refer to the real world when addressing us peasants, but the only world they really exist in is the campus bubble.

am i done making assumptions? no.

i ignored him for too long. and now, it is war.

come here my little puppet, or marinationette, or whatever Ducksack said. maybe Crutaceous Head will come to your rescue.

marx will not save you this time.

burn!!

Burn!!
 

Hey Ducksack,

don't hold it against your mom for failing to abort you when she was 13. i found at least 3 of your jokes funny over the last year. wich is more than i could say for Weeze the douche - duchetovsky - vun Douchal - crucible hed - etc. etc. thank goodness my fellow anon's are more funny than all ya'll puts together.

So you go, boy! you GOOOO!!!111!!11!
 

Hey, say what you will (for example that insulting fellow 'baghunters isn't exactly what hcdwdb.com is about), but Anon 7:46 - 12:06 is actually quite funny.

An asshole, to be sure. But funny.
 

Do I sense the first few shots in the War on Anons? It will be a war on a faceless, cowardly enemy who hides behind other innocents and doesn't know exactly what they do stand for - only what they don't stand for. A negative world view defined by their reactionary hatreds and unwillingness to accept that others may have different points of view, sense of humour and modes of expression. This war will see a long, hard fight waged by those brave enough to publicly stand up and fight for what they believe, great sacrifices may have to be made and the outcome may appear uncertain for a long time. But we can only hope that the forces of Reg win. Anony bin Douche @12:06 is merely one of the mouthpieces of a rejectionist ground swell that cannot, that will not, succeed in toppling the pillars of HCwD. all they can do is make the comments world a slightly less pleasant place for everyone.

Or in short: Shut the fuck up. Don't like Troy's posts? Skip'em. Don't find Darksock funny? Ignore him. Attacking them and the other regs is pointless ad merely serves to fill the page with fairly weak personal attacks. And the 'bags laugh as we tear the community that is arrayed against them apart.
 

Everyone's wrong but me, and you all suck.

That's what all this BS is about, right? Didn't it all start with a simple argument about "is she hot or not"?

Well, many wars have been waged over a dame more luscious that Charleez. And many more will be fought.

Anonymity makes us all a bit braver. The same words would never be spoken in a physical room with all of us present.

G'night.
 

JD, you are wrong.. Charleez is different. She's our Helen.. Of Troy
 

Greetings,

Yes, last night the little one was at a friends house across town, so me and Mrs Tempest were otherwise occupied for the evening.

As far as the anon is concerned, he's an anon, a gutless putrescence that hasn't got the nerve, skills, or patience to acquire a blogger account. So, I ignore the whingings and yelpings of the likes of him. I've had toadstools like him in class, and they never fail to disappoint me in their trajectory of failure. Furthermore, one anon is like any other anon - an anon is an anon - so it is impossible to tell if one is talking to a single anon or an army of drooling retards all posting as anon. That's why I don't respond to anons.

To the regs and regular readers: as far as charleez goes - first off, I'm not big on blondes, especially dyed blondes. There's a certain autobleeth factor in that.

Secondly, she has demonstrated with multiple pics that she's not a PTP for the Cheezmaster here - she actually hangs out with this tumour.

I have fairly high standards. Tough.

Thirdly, I can *totally* understand those who think she's kitty PJs. She certainly isn't ugly, and there was a time in my life where I actually (if briefly) dated a woman who looked a lot like her, so I "get it". I dumped her (like in less than a month) because she was a fucking ultra-high maintenance lunatic. Perhaps my history clouds my judgment at times.

Well, time to get some coffee and get the day rolling. More later, friends.
 

Is that a sprig of lettuce on her left mammary missile?

I want a salad.
 

Rhonda - good eye for detail. You may be right.

Which makes the picture even funnier, because now I have this image of Charleez horkin' down a sub sandwich and bits of it dropping into her shoulder boulder holder. Humanising.

Makes me wanna go find some breakfast...
 

@Sgt Stain 9:52

BWAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!

awesome.
 

JESUS!Look at that girls arm!
 

Cheez and 4ft arm have a view a gynaecologist would be jealous of!
 

Cheez sezs, "We havin' twins!"
 

Do pretty girls actually have sex with moronic gorillas like Cheez?
 

He's saying Scissors. Apparently what Charleez is attempting with the golem chick.
 

PRECIOUS!!!!!
 

Charleez died later that night after agreeing to letting Ms. Gibbon-Arms McBleeth fist her.
 

So THAT'S why they call them Jar Heads...
 

This guy is a true Meat Puppet, and the little fake Blonde next to him is 100% hott, in a 'its her first time porno shoot sort of way'
 

Umm Blondies and Boobies! It is a fine day! Look likes the one on the far left is about to touch her slippery portal.
 

You can get rid of anonymouse by making it so only google accounts can comment. There are some music download blogs that are invite only and require a password just to view the page.
 

@ internet CB

Not ALL the anons are ass sacks; however when a particular anon gets bad enough the Boss turns that option on; kind of like firing off the Halo rings every few millenia to purge the flood.





I'm a Halo dork.
 

Ol' Cheezer has shit for brains, farts for breath and can't help but hand gesture his IQ whenever a photographer is around.

What hottie wouldn't want to have the best 3.14 nanoseconds of her life with a douche like that?
 

J A KNOW, SOMECHEEZ IS SO FULLA HOLES, YA KJUST KNOW...slapwhoary holes.
 

"What has two fingers and is douchier than thou? This douche!"
 

If this was a weekly win, it would be the migraine that appears regularly as clockwork.

If it was a monthly win, it would be as big a pain in the lower-nethers as a menstrual cycle.

yes, that's how awful CHEEZ and his blonde bimbos are. Somebody give him a sling and marbles for that finger-shot position so he can pop his own eyes out.