Thursday, October 15, 2009
Cheez Louise
I can't tell which part of Cheez's move is more impressive. The double boob arm lock, or his ability to disappear his lower torso.
And lest I hear cries of photoshop, this is very much a real hottie mugging.
That being said, lack of douche-face, chinstrap and 'bag hand gesture means I'm gonna be generous and downgrade Cheez to only a stage-2 offense.
This time.
But trouble is on the horizon.
# posted by Douchebag1 @ 9:08 AM 
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Damn, this dude is such a stinking... holy shit! Looks at the bod on that hott!!
# posted by 
: 9:17 AM
: 9:17 AM
My best freind in Junior High had an older sister who was and may still be a HOTT. I asked her once, in the spirit of inquiry, why she dated such losser guys. She looked me right in the eye and told me that she liked her men big, dumb and ugly. I think she may have a deciple here.
Faux dawg tag, spikey hair, enough grease to lube an orgy, tats galore.
You're being generous giving him a level 2 pass. The only reason there are no hand signs is that he's busy feeling her ass.
Not that I blame him, mind you.
You're being generous giving him a level 2 pass. The only reason there are no hand signs is that he's busy feeling her ass.
Not that I blame him, mind you.
yeah DB1..I'm not really seeing the "lack of doucheface" in either pick. I'd hate to see a stage 3 offense
Those delightful mammaries could feed the citizenry of several desolate Somolian provinces for many a fortnight. God bless her generous boobosity. And by "god bless," I mean, "Please show up at my front door wearing nothing but a sailor hat, a wet t-shirt, and panties made from rasberry fruit roll-ups."
Dear blonde hott,
Your smile has the savor and perfume of fruit made moist with spray from a mystical geyser, in the secret paradise that we alone shall find and exploit; a paradise whence they that come shall nevermore depart, for the rivers thereof are ethereal, and the fruit is as the fruit of the loom of life.
In our life together, you will light incense in the morning, and will help prepare nourishing meals of rhubarb and coriander. You will dry yogurt, roll it into balls, and store it in jars of olive oil. We will bake bread at noon. You will light Lämp in the evening. We may even choose to write poetry, secret orisons that the younger girls put to music and sing in the evening. It is a quiet life, and a good one; and when you someday die, a day of mourning will be declared throughout our land, before your body is burned on a bier of cassis and cinnamon… that your essence may return fragrant and joyful to the Sun.
I guess what I’m trying to say, is that I would love to be your stalker.
Yours truly,
Crucial Aloysius Head
Your smile has the savor and perfume of fruit made moist with spray from a mystical geyser, in the secret paradise that we alone shall find and exploit; a paradise whence they that come shall nevermore depart, for the rivers thereof are ethereal, and the fruit is as the fruit of the loom of life.
In our life together, you will light incense in the morning, and will help prepare nourishing meals of rhubarb and coriander. You will dry yogurt, roll it into balls, and store it in jars of olive oil. We will bake bread at noon. You will light Lämp in the evening. We may even choose to write poetry, secret orisons that the younger girls put to music and sing in the evening. It is a quiet life, and a good one; and when you someday die, a day of mourning will be declared throughout our land, before your body is burned on a bier of cassis and cinnamon… that your essence may return fragrant and joyful to the Sun.
I guess what I’m trying to say, is that I would love to be your stalker.
Yours truly,
Crucial Aloysius Head
This may only be a stage-2 offense in the HCwDb world, but in the real world this is one asshole looking fucktard.
Jeez, Cheez, did you leave an inch of your body unscathed by graffitti?
Jeez, Cheez, did you leave an inch of your body unscathed by graffitti?
@ Vin
Apparently he forgot to cover that gaping chocolate star above his neck with some graffiti.
I think we have found a specimen that will free us from fossil fuels forever! I'm a big guy (6'2", 230 lbs) but there is no way that I would sweat that much so that the entire front of my shirt is soaking. I'll give allowance for super-duper-sit-on-my-face-and-tell-me-that-you-love-me blondie but sheesh! Someone get a bottle quick so that we can all convert to doucheoil quick.
Apparently he forgot to cover that gaping chocolate star above his neck with some graffiti.
I think we have found a specimen that will free us from fossil fuels forever! I'm a big guy (6'2", 230 lbs) but there is no way that I would sweat that much so that the entire front of my shirt is soaking. I'll give allowance for super-duper-sit-on-my-face-and-tell-me-that-you-love-me blondie but sheesh! Someone get a bottle quick so that we can all convert to doucheoil quick.
Ugh. Sunday night, mr Farmer called this douchebag, and he said: "listen son, you're wasting your time; there's a future for you in the fire escape trade. Come up to town!" But then he remembered a voice from the past; "gambling only pays when you're winning" and he had to thank old miss Mort for schooling a failure. So, now he has to keep them mowing blades sharp...
He is such a solipsistic retard his endless chant is:
I know what i like, and i like what i know...
He is such a solipsistic retard his endless chant is:
I know what i like, and i like what i know...
She is one strong ass woman. In pic one she is carrying around a massive double amputee and he's the one that's sweating. Please, wrap those thighs around my head and crack me open like a coconut.
In pick two, Thag is clearly getting the worst of his head butt attack. He must know something about this delicious hott that we don't know. Perhaps that her vagina muscles are so powerful that when she orgasms, penises are crushed to marmalade. Or that when she gives a dude a blowjob, the victim takes on the appearance of a bloated, tat-covered Pumpy-wannabe with a buzz cut and bodily fluids pouring out of every hole.
Perhaps its not shitty photography but Kryponite that's affecting the snap quality.
I would still do her.
In pick two, Thag is clearly getting the worst of his head butt attack. He must know something about this delicious hott that we don't know. Perhaps that her vagina muscles are so powerful that when she orgasms, penises are crushed to marmalade. Or that when she gives a dude a blowjob, the victim takes on the appearance of a bloated, tat-covered Pumpy-wannabe with a buzz cut and bodily fluids pouring out of every hole.
Perhaps its not shitty photography but Kryponite that's affecting the snap quality.
I would still do her.
Always wondered what became of Brian Bosworth after that illustrious NFL career. Booby prize for Blondie.
# posted by : 10:52 AM
: 10:52 AM
That has got to be some of the finest underass I have ever laid eyes upon.
That asscurve is so perfect her tits are jealous.
That asscurve is so perfect her tits are jealous.
Crucial 9:48
I fear your eloquent prose may be wasted on the young lady pictured here. Judging by the company she keeps, a more effective soliloquy would go as follows:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'll fondle your butt
and, pee in it too
I fear your eloquent prose may be wasted on the young lady pictured here. Judging by the company she keeps, a more effective soliloquy would go as follows:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'll fondle your butt
and, pee in it too
MILF hott's sun blotters caused a massive solar eclipse today. And by eclipsed I mean, it is now dark, and I have IOB.
This must be what Mr. White feels like being locked inside Medusa's basement trunk. Yes, there is junk in her trunk lemme tell ya...
This must be what Mr. White feels like being locked inside Medusa's basement trunk. Yes, there is junk in her trunk lemme tell ya...
To paraphrase a quote I heard, I really think these guys look as douchy as possible just to invite challengers so they can get in fights.
Sweet gorilla of Manila. Dude is a North American sweaty choad, and she is the girl of my (internet porn) dreams. So cute, yet so slutty. Get your filthy paws off her, you damn dirty ape. Hall of Hott, first ballot.
Level 2 douche? DB1, you're being way too kind. Did someone get laid before work today?
Level 2 douche? DB1, you're being way too kind. Did someone get laid before work today?
# posted by : 11:42 AM
: 11:42 AM
Great DB1, thanks a ton. Now I will endure many sleepless nights pondering if this fake Earnhardt Jr. douche got those "sweet tats" at the same Acme store the Coyote acquires his date rape gadgets from?
This pic does raise more questions than answers, but one thing I do know is that the theories of Evolution and Intelligent Design just took a fuckload of steps back.
This pic does raise more questions than answers, but one thing I do know is that the theories of Evolution and Intelligent Design just took a fuckload of steps back.
If you get to be a douche just for rocking the "white man's overbite" while dancing, then I'm afraid I'm guilty. That said, I'll still take some pride in my lack of tats, my skinny, skinny arms, and my utter inability to attract women like Charleez here.
# posted by : 12:20 PM
: 12:20 PM
@ Chinga Dera La Douche
although intelligent design in no way qualifies as a scientific theory, cheezy here may indicate the possibility of a vacuous greasy, unintelligent douche-spewing cosmic force
although intelligent design in no way qualifies as a scientific theory, cheezy here may indicate the possibility of a vacuous greasy, unintelligent douche-spewing cosmic force
Ugh. So much sweat and tatts on one, dare I call it, human begin? What he's lacking in worn douche signifiers (dog tags, oversized watch), he makes up for in permanent ones. What's the man gotta do to get to stage 3? Lick hotty for the camera? I don't think our fair readers could survive a visual beating like that. The cheek nuzzle in pic #2 already makes me want to garrote my dick off with a macrame scarf.
And oh what a hott. So curvy, luscious, and pokeable. I would weave a hammock with my own intestines for a fat man to lie in, just for the chance to smell the farts of her mom's hairdresser in Akron.
And oh what a hott. So curvy, luscious, and pokeable. I would weave a hammock with my own intestines for a fat man to lie in, just for the chance to smell the farts of her mom's hairdresser in Akron.
WTF is that facial expression on the TrollDouche in pic 2? Is he crying as he gives thanks to whatever twisted god he worships for the hott? Or just closing his eyes so he can concentrate his Fat Tatted Wolverdouche mutant senses on trying to smell her over the bacon-y rich scent he gives off?
Not that it matters, because of boobies.
Not that it matters, because of boobies.
# posted by : 2:05 PM
: 2:05 PM
That dude must work at tool time. He looks like he used some of the throat yogurt he chugged in his hair.
# posted by : 10:17 PM
: 10:17 PM
Charleez for most expensive first date hott of the year.
wait didn't i already lobby for Loop de Poop on that award? and maybe Jennifer back when Limerick Wednesdays existed?
okay Loop is a PTP model who has appeared on Maxim magazine. i don't think that is fair competition. i think Charleez has the edge over Jennifer right now because she has demonstrated that she the heels to poke some deep holes in your bank account.
wait didn't i already lobby for Loop de Poop on that award? and maybe Jennifer back when Limerick Wednesdays existed?
okay Loop is a PTP model who has appeared on Maxim magazine. i don't think that is fair competition. i think Charleez has the edge over Jennifer right now because she has demonstrated that she the heels to poke some deep holes in your bank account.
@ memphis doucheworkers local 421
You are absolutely correct, sir. I just didn't want to alienate any fellow 'bag hunters from the state of Kansas (if there is such a thing).
Great points you made. Amigo salute for you!
Those tats, metro jewelry and "in the act of flatulence" lip bite combine cosmic forces into a giant Douche Nebula.
You are absolutely correct, sir. I just didn't want to alienate any fellow 'bag hunters from the state of Kansas (if there is such a thing).
Great points you made. Amigo salute for you!
Those tats, metro jewelry and "in the act of flatulence" lip bite combine cosmic forces into a giant Douche Nebula.
Did you notice that fine leg in the background and Sally Suckemsilly demonstrating her champion fellatio technique. You didn't well look again.
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# posted by : 5:19 PM
: 5:19 PM << Home
