I am going to Brazil. I will not wait for the Olympics.
 

**clicks on**



I Love Balcony Ass Pear and Brazilian Butt Cheeks



**clicks off**
 

Thank you DB1, for the timely ass pear. Now I can venture out into what is supposed to be a big swell this weekend.

Oh, yeah, and the surf is supposed to be pretty good, too.
 

More thanks to DB1, as the Tiny White Triangle unites all!

*phew* I needed that.
 

mmm balcony pear,wait, is that hair I see on that ass cleavage?! Oh no, Brazilian sheboy alert!
 

How can that blue dress wearing chick get her hair to cover her cleavage in EVERY shot!

And can someone shoot lamp for his lame, gay, stupid "clicks on/clicks off" shit he does every week? Someone needs to take lamp out back and beat him to death with a bat, or at least sodomize him with it.
 

ImageWrangler:

I don't think you understand the implications of what you're saying.

One does not sodomize Lämp. Lämp sodomizes YOU.

Been good knowin' ya, dude.
 

**WAX FUCKING ON**

I MUST PLEASE ALL POSTERS

**WAX FUCKING OFF**



BETTER???
 

**clicks on**


I Pledge Never To Reveal The Priest's Name Who Molested ImageWrangler As A Small Child... Because I'm Altruistic Like That


**clicks off**
 

I pissed off a balconey one time.

I cut it off in traffic.

ba-da-bump *rim shot*

Try the veal; I'll be here all week.
 

Geez, DB1. Why couldn't this site be named hotchicksWITHHOTCHICKS instead.

I like the white triangle (fwap, fwap, fwap, fwap) but the yellow dress would have been more appreciated.

Just another Friday Thought.
 

Douchiest Father Ever missed his son's birth because he got sent to jail for hitting on a Hott Nurse.

One could have made a case for him being Horniest Father Ever, but the picture, evincing his popped collar and spiked hair, nullifies this argument.
 

Are there any photos where this asshole isn't pointing at the hottie?

"Gee, let me think, what can I do to look different in this one?"

What a dick. On the flip side, she looks very tasty in her lovely blue dress, with white triangulation.
I guess sometimes life does imitate art, doesn't it?
 

The irony of Ed Hardy copping the skull logo from The Exploited for their Punks Not Dead hoodie is enough to make Darby Crash exhume himself and drink a crate of Ed Hardy vodka so he can die of alcohol poisoning.

Good god, man.
 

And one more thing:

Ass Pear.
 

Speaking of electrical appliances, don't forget to change your clocks this weekend.

Always remember:

SPRING BACK

FALL FORWARD
 

Apparently it's safe to drive while wearing your shocker costume. Good to know.

Those dubstep guys sure have a sweet hallway.
 

Ladies, if you can't afford a metallic cylinder, I would be happy to oblige as a stand in. And as stand in I mean....*unzzzziiiip....WHUMP!*

*loves
Angry Kid
balcony pear (giggity!)
Lämp*

...but not necessarily in that order.
 

Re: Ed Hardy,

I believe it was the Silver Jews who wrote:

Punk rock died when the first kid said/
"Punk's not dead, punk's not dead."
 

Andrei Kirilenko has a long way to go before he's Chris Anderson.
 

Am I wrong for wishing that a technicolor Afro Clown Wig would pop out from under her dress instead of the mere HWT?

'Cause she really reminds me of Crazy Stacey Hayes, especially with the "Oopsie, I just murdered a hobo with a hammer on the way here!"-eyes.
 

New band name for those who write cool douche song parodies:



Dynamic Vinertia



Huh? HUH?
 

God I love triangle. Is that Admiral Ackbar tattooed on his right bicep?
 

If Lämp is gay, then that makes me… gay by association?

I say, hell no!

Look, if Mr. White was bitten on the shoulder by a cobra, I would gladly suck the poison out through his wiener. I mean, duh. BUT, once I had nursed him back to health, I would not so much as hold hands with him. I mean, unless he asked politely with that come-hither look that is positively impossible to refute.

But gay?

Psssshhtt.
 

Ass Pear, as usual, a rousing success. And by success, I mean ejaculation.

I will however give a pass to Chris Anderson, aka The Birdman, of the Denver Nuggets. Homeboy does have a shit load of tatts, chin pubbery, and HUGE 'hawk, but the guy is cool through and through.

No one dives head first into meth addiction and comes out the other side unscathed. The Birdman is no different, but for an NBA player, he's fairly well spoken and is an absolute professional when it comes to dealing with his fans. Watch a Nuggets game, those Colorado-ans fucking love the guy. Love him!

I vote RLR for The Birdman, Douchy outside maybe, but nottadouchy inside gives Mr. Anderson a pass in my book.

Plus, homeboy has some of the "sickest" dunks every single year. And I like watching cool dunks damn it, and The Birdman seems to be the only white boy with hops, so I have to route for him.

So yeah, Ass Pear.
 

Well boss, what can I say that hasn’t already been said?

The parade of hotts this past week has been stellar. Francine, Bagpolean Complex, Six Pound Watch Twins, Bethany, Truckstop Pudwick, and Nina from Russia… oh what a week it was. We’ve laughed; we’ve cried; we’ve fwapped; we’ve fwopped - and in the end, we rolled over and went back to sleep.

I could not ask for anything more. Except Maker’s Mark. More, please.

POP! Clink, Clink, Clink… gurgle gurgle gurgle… schlluuurrp… ahhhh

Zzzzzzzz.
 

Croosh,

Stop hogging all of the damn Maker's.

Sincerely,

The World
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

...it's ok, Crucial...you can have all the Maker's you want.

It just means more Tito's for me! ;p
 

Punk's been dead for years now, but for 129 bucks you can hit it with a stick.

I've never seen female wiggas before. Now I have. And it frightens me.

I don't know if I was supposed to be aroused by the shakeweight, but the tent in my pants approves greatly.

Thank you for the ass pear,
 

I cannot stop laughing WOW...the SHAKE weight? Really? I watched it with no sound, yeah...ridiculous...
 

Also, the wigger video IS EPIC! I can only aspire to be like them!

give me a fucking break...
 

Happy Friday to Dr. Bunsen.
 

@crucial

Hold me. *come-hither look* Hold me.
 

I love dubstep. Anyone that's been to a show knows what I'm talking about. And if u haven't been, go and you'll see.
 

Blatantly missing from "The Dub" YouTube is when these idiot's dad comes out to the garage and slaps those dopes around.


I FART in your general direction





"Ducks, you better watch for 'em"

"Mmm! An echo!"
 

@ Anon 4:07

Do they hand out free Maker's? Do they hand out free hand jobs? Do they hand out free Maker's and hand jobs? I so I will attend my first show right fucking now.

Otherwise, no thanks.
 

Don't ask why but I have been researching the Danny Glover/Joe Pesci movie "Gone Fishin'" and came across this pic. Gone fishin'
 

@ serg,

do they serve free makers and handjobs where u go to party? If that's the case please tell me where I need to go for that.
 

My brother just let me know that the month of October was being changed to Chuktober in honor of Chuck Norris.
 

After much intense study of girl in blue, I saw another douche in left corner.
 

Thank God balcony pear is nothing like porch meat.
 

Holy white triangle! Holy Brazil booty!

SPLOOGE

I'm out.
 

Birdman's not a douche. Kid from a single-parent household in rural Texas harnesses talent to get a junior college scholarship, travels around the world to play basketball with dreams of making it to the NBA, makes it to the NBA, but is still a Texas hick at heart and has no idea how to handle hundreds of thousands of dollars, finds himself drug-addicted and hanging with a bunch of succubi, gets suspended, then overcomes his addiction, hones his talents, and is now one of the most passionate NBA players and true fan favorite.

He's one of the most unique personalities in a league that thrives on personality more than any other sport. It's not like a bunch of random tribal tatts and gratuitous hair either; it's all part of his carefully crafted half-man, half-bird theme.
 

Yeah Anon 5:08, that's what I'm trying to find out.

Glad to hear there are other booze and hand job lovers out there.
 

I like hand jobs with or with out booze.
 

If you have a theme, you might be a douche.
 

@El Caganer - It is a fair debate.

I am a Nuggets fan. I like Chris Anderson more than other players with similar skill sets BECAUSE of the larger than life, almost cartoonish, persona he brings to the court. He's a charismatic and talented athlete on a successful team, playing one of the most popular sports at the highest level. I don't judge him by the same standards as most of the meatheads I see on this website.

I admit: When I see someone with a wild Mohawk and completely covered in tattoos at a bar, I think, "Douchebag." It's hard to verbalize where the distinction lies with me. I'm not sure. It boils down to the fact that I believe the world is be a better place with Birdman than without him, and that's something I could never say about a douche.

Go Bird!
 

Lol @ this quote:

I doubt if anyone cares, but I think I'll be going the way of pfah pretty soon.

This blog is, quite simply, beginning to bore me.

I will become more of a casual observer. Maybe post here and there, Friday Haikus, that kind of thing.

It's basically played out.

Good luck to all...and to the HCwDB reality show, movie, action figures and clothing line that will surely surface in the near future.

Meanwhile I will prepare to be mocked.

I hope you all find better ways to spend your time.

peace



-Paper or Plastic


@Paper or Plastic,

Welcome back cocksucker.
 

hashem indeed.
Shout out to the frummies.
shabbat shalom
 

I am in love with blue-clingy-dress-warm-smile-white-panties-luscious-skin Hott.

HOH please.
 

whoa the original Holy White Triangle is gonna get a run for her money.

and by "a run for her money" i mean "lush suckle thigh".
 

so we've thrown the Douchiest Father of the Year in jail. now we need to repeat the same feat on Ed Hardy & Christian Audigier.
 

"dub step" and the loss of HOPE. coincidence?
 

Save a hearse, die in a house fire
 

my next masturbation fantasy is to shoot a violent wad out of a 20th-floor balcony.
 

Quote: "Suburban wigga gangsta poseur asshats? Learn to dance the 'dub step.' There is no hope for the future of civilization."

I want my minute-twenty back.
 

@Paper or Plastic,

Wow. I am honored that you felt we were worthy of your commentary. What did we do right that brought your incredible wit back to this site? DB1 must be dying to know how unboring he is now. And do tell us about all your travels about the internet, "finding better ways to spend your spare time." Things must be pretty glum out there for your saintly ass to come trudging back here, huh?

On the bright side, Lord knows we sorely missed you over the past... wait, how long has it been since you've been gone? And who are you again?

Like that other Anon, who is not this Anon, we still welcome you back with open arms, you backstabbing cocksucker.
 

Ass Pear della Stella
As astra per aspera
Ass not what her ass pear can do for you, ask what your ass can do for her pear cuntry.
 

I gave that balcony pic the ol' rightclicksaveimageas. Thanks!
 

@ Paper or Plastic:

Welcome Back.

We were promised action figures. WTF. I guess Disney cock-blocked the DarkSock action figure. Damn you, copyrighted black circular mouse ears.
 

Is this the stanky leg dance?
 

Paper or Plastic....So you left us with an "it's not you...it's me" letter, and now you're back.

Booty call? Did your other site bore you more?

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore

weren't you the one who tried to hurt us with goodbye

you think we'd crumble
you think we'd lay down and die
Oh no, not us
We will survive

as long as we know how to love
we know we will stay alive
we've got all our lives to live
we've got all our love to give
and we'll survive
we will survive

It took all the strength we had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of our broken heart
and we spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for ourselves
we used to cry
Now we hold my head up high
and you see US
somebody new
we're not that chained up little porch beef
still in love with you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect us to be free
now we're saving all our loving
for someone who's hand-jobbing us.
 

Then why doesn't Chris Anderson just play?
 

I think this one is a SERIOUS contender for the weekly. She's Beeeeyootiful. He makes a maxxed out septic tank look like Sweet Penny Pingleton.

He needs a name though...

I was thinking "The Hurler" because that what he makes me want to do when I look at him.
 

yo, i be a shoein fo da weekly, dawg!
 

Can't women get as much of a workout by jerking ME off? Plus, I give them a liquid surprise to let them know when their session is enough for that day.
 

@massengill
I am actually really interested in why you are researching that movie. That has to be a good story.
 

@Troy Tempest^

How's about "Brozil"?

Or the "Amazon Bunghole"?

"Amazon Jun-gal"?
 

"The Amazon Fungle"

"Riders of the Poompas"
 

@ J Bone

Okay, I'm working on a musical adaptation.

@ Sherman

He obviously has a man-crush on the birdman and came to defend his honor.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

If a guy is into half-men/half-birds, does that make him gay or a zoophile?
 

I love porch beef.
 

 
 

I may be a little fecal-centric, but this guy is poo.
 

@Sherman Hammerspank, DarkSock, several Anons

I have no idea where that break-up letter came from, but I assure you, I didn't write it. I've been commenting infrequently over the past 4-6 weeks. Perhaps I chose a handle that had been used in the past, perhaps the Anon (7:43pm) that introduced "my" departing note into evidence was confused, or perhaps someone coincidentally or intentionally used the same handle to write it.

Since that defense probably sounds fishy, feel free to mock me based on words I didn't write that were introduced to the thread anonymously.

Everything I said about the Birdman stands. At least until HCwDB starts labeling every charismatic athlete/entertainer 'douche'.

Plus, everyone knows that douchiness in pro basketball starts and ends with Kobe Bryant.
 

 
 

...this
 

@PoP - Thanks. There was an old "paper or plastic?" That's from at least 4 months before this "Paper or Plastic" even heard of HCwDB, which I've been a huge fan of since, and is most definitely not me.

Now that I know there's a history with this handle, I'll consider changing it.

Man, I thought it was witty. Well, shame on me...
 

You're Paper or Plastic, Paper or Plastic.

Your wife is Bunny.
 

I just want my little white triangular rug back, man.
 

Please welcome with open arms all new 'bag hunters and huntresses, including Mr. Or Plastic. Every mocker who's willing to join the team is welcome.

- management
 

Paper or Plastic sounds witty to me, but so did skid. If you like the name keep it.
 

Do you go by Mr. Plastic or is it o.k. to call you paper?
 

To Massengill:

Quote: "If a guy is into half-men/half-birds, does that make him gay or a zoophile?"

Yes.

;)
 

I have an explanation for the finger pointer. He makes a sad dissappointed face and points because her hair keeps blocking her boobies. Man, I want to give her a haircut.
 

@DB1 - Thanks for the kind welcome. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, like when Antonio's chin pubes rub up against my nu...er, skid's nut sack. That's fucking nasty, skid. Why you let him do that?

I took no offense to anything said. All the "shaming" I got was either asked for or a case of mistaken identity.

I entered the thread defending pre-labeled "uberdouche" Chris Andersen and expected to get mocked for it. It's not a man-crush so much as it's a fan-crush. Did you hunters and huntresses realize that the Birdman was 2nd in the NBA in blocked shots last year? Off the bench. He easily had the highest blocks/minute average in the NBA.

I mean, I could get the tatts and hair and call myself the Birdman and would be a complete douche for it. But Andersen has a job that pays him millions to use his prodigious jumping ability to block shots, dunk, and rebound. That's the perfect fucking nickname and persona for the type of player he is. Not. A. Douche.
 

This was all I could think of while reading ATLchurch's comment on the last thread.

Tricks.
 

Must have happenned during my recent sake induced blackout. Kan Pai!!!
 

@paper or plastic 2.0

Welcome to the fold. Yes, another user went by the PoP moniker a while back, and when they left, they provided us with the eloquent soliloquy that was posted below. As you can imagine, it was poorly received.

Personally, I'm going to go back to staring at blue dress hottie's hypno-triangle.
 

Please welcome with open arms all new 'bag hunters and huntresses
Even if that is technically in breach of several restraining orders? I mean, I am willing to risk it for the site group hug but one of you has to promise to post bail if it goes wrong. Last tine I went away Darksock mailed me a cake with a jelly dong in it. My cellmate thought it was Christmas. Me - not so overjoyed.
 

Hey Paper,

As you can reference from the beginning of the thread, I also defended The Birdman, plain and simple, The Birdman is just cool. He is the most entertaining persona in the NBA, he is ONLY white dude that I'm ever happy to see of the floor. He always has the most vicious blocks, dunks, alley-oops, and other hustle plays. And I'm not even a Nuggets fans, but I think the guy is the shit.

Nottadouche.

But the biggest douche in the NBA isn't Kobe, although he is a raging egomaniacal taint sore, it's Ronnie Turiaf, I fucking hate that no talent, over-celebrating, over-paid, no-hops ass-clown. He is the worst. Ever.

With that said PoP, you're still a pussy.




Just kidding man, welcome to the laid of milky titts and guidos, it's a scary but entertaining place.
 

Ok, I'm a day late for FTAL. Well, I'm a week late for everything. Signor Biscotti is keeping me quite busy. I'll remind you perverts that we also leave the house to do stuff quite often, the man loves to shop. As for the rest of the time, well, I can't very well type when--oh, never mind that.

ShakeWeight: If that's all it takes, I should have biceps like a German farmer. Oh. Wait. The thing you're jerking off has to weigh six pounds? Damn, that's the problem.

Sports: Meh.

Dub Step: Seeing lithe young white girls act like black thugs burns my ass. I don't like to see black kids act like thugs, either. Maybe I'm getting old, maybe I've been on the right side of the law for too long, but I despise cultures that glorify violence and failure, regardless of who's doing it. And if you took those little white girls and dumped them off at the corner of Madison and Pulaski (Chicago) at 1 am, that thug act would keep them un-raped and alive for approximately 2.3 seconds.

Punk's Not Dead: Yes it it. I couldn't admit it until about 1999, but, yeah. It's dead and gone and only exists in history, and dying your hair green ain't gonna resurrect it. It was dying in 1986 already, when Billy Idol had stomped on Generation X (His old band, look it up, kids), turned their old songs into MTV hits and became a pop culture darling. It was already dying when Adam eschewed The Ants and did the same thing. Feh. By the time we got to Fall Out Boy, the corpse was already rotted to the bones and kids were just pissing on them. I finally admitted to myself that it wasn't coming back and I turned to doom/sludge metal for comfort. It's been a satisfactory replacement, methinks.

Douchiest Father Of The Year: 'After the second time, the nurse asked what he was doing,' Draper said. 'The wife responded that he was just drunk.'
Wow. You picked a real winner, honey. Let's hope the divorce is uncontested, you'll save a bundle.
 

And Crucial,

It's going to be a downright treat watching your Trojans go down in Eugene today.

Not even a Ducks fans, but I hate USC, and I am going to masterbate to the tears of Matt Barkley as he walks off that field consumed by the hollowness of defeat.
 

Sorry for the inconvenience.
 

Baghunter on baghunter violence causes me to cry watery fuccen tears. (I have a saline deficiency.)
 

He is holding her used glass to prevent forensic detectives from being able to test it for residual GHB.

Months later, this photo will be admissible evidence in the Wheeler County court system. Prison inmates rejoice at the thought of being on the brink of raping him in return.
 

Apparently punktuation is dead, however...

Killed by Ed Hardy.
 

100

- "that muthafuckin' Wheezer"

; )
 

holy crap that jerkoff dumbell may be the funniest thing I have ever seen. What where they thinking???!!
 

chris andersen is not a douche, hes a damn good basketball player with some sick tats relating to his nickname, the true nature of the douche is to present oneself as superior with no real skills or achievements to back this high opinion of ones self beyond their looks or clothes, the birdman is legit.
 

well, not to steal birdman's thunder, but im pretty sure the player in the utah jazz pic is andrei kirilenko. who is a total douche
 

omg is the shake weight real?