so being a fucking tool counts as a career now?

it's a sad sad world we live in..
 

Cheez say tuu ew Aleeesha, yoo no be strandjer. You keep shoin pichers. You tastee. Like Cheez. HAHAHA! BOOOBEEEEES! HAHAHA! My peenus iz big.
 

DB1, you are violating some my most sacred rights as an American, I refer you to the Preamble of the U.S. Constitution:

We the Baghunters of the interwebs, in order to form a more perfect courting process, establish an anti-orange community, insure domestic suckle thigh, provide for the common protection against the toxic fumes of axe body spray, promote the general welfare of boobies, and secure the blessings of uberhotss and our loins, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America and hereby demand that no innocent citizen be subjected to more than two pictures of the douchebag commonly referred to as "Cheeze" within a ten day period.

There you have it DB1, please repent for your crimes against your citizenry.

And by "repent," I mean, "provide no less than two pictures of succulent ass pear."
 

Where's the hott?
 

Yeah, I though the "fat Juliette Lewis" comment was pretty tacky as well simply because it's not true.

Alecia, if you ever feel the need to tap dance on someone's chest with those cute pink heels, give me a ring.

Cuz I'm friendly like that.
 

I want to skin Cheez alive and make a hot air balloon from his tanned hide. Then I want to castrate is teensie testicles, place them in the balloon, and let the balloon sail away until it burns up as it enters the sun's atmosphere.

Other than that, I'm feeling pretty good about my Friday.
 

Please get off my nuts. Thanks a bunch.
 

@Alecia,

Why don't you get a blogger account and join in the fun? We need more hott 'bag huntresses to join our ranks. I'm getting tired of masturbating to the rants and images of Medusa O., HyperSexualGirl, IdahoHottPotato, Ashfish, etc, etc...

... okay, no I'm not.
 

@ G. Gordon Clitty

You masturbate to "rants?" You sick fuck.
 

I don't think this tool takes himself seriously enough. Lighten up, Francis.
 

Welcome, Alecia. Don't fear the 'bags. Every asshole in the world now threatens legal action for being exposed as what they are. Yet they all still put it on Facebook, don't they.

Always remember what my grandma used to say: If you can't think of anything nice to say about those people, come sit next to me!
 

“I don’t think this tool takes himself too seriously…”

Really? I kind of assumed that covering your body in permanent tattoos, shaving down your chest, piercing holes in your ears to sport bling, abusing steroids to bulk up, wearing gigantic watches, and throwing down hand gestures tells me he doesn’t take his douching too lightly. He has certainly ascended passed to scrote and chode levels of ‘baggery.

And yes, an intelligent and vitriolic verbal rant by a hott female is ridiculously sexy.

“Sick fuck?” Why yes, yes I am.
 

Hmmm.

Perhaps those two 'bags should consider that acting like total ass humps may affect their careers as well.

I had no idea that Speedee-Lube was so strict.
 

@Wedgie

I just realized that I completely misread your statement. What a douche I am.

I am embarrased and am now going to hide in a corner.
 

DB1 -

Thank you for the explanation I requested in haiku form.
I did not mean to put a fire under your ass this early on a Friday, I just had pink-high-heel withdrawal. And that makes me ornery.
 

"katie" gave out her number- yarite. More like both of them did. Typical dizzy hott antics where there's always more to the story than what they let on.

real bag huntresses would never give out their real number. FAIL. Somebody either got played or hoped to get played but the broheims weren't drunk enough to go through with it and ego was bruised.
 

@Luke and Marty,

You will be hearing from us shortly.
 

Cheez Stock is rising fast, if you play the stock markets. And by stock I mean pork bellies.



Don't they make a cream for these occasional anon rashes?
 

Alecia-

I agree - the fat Juliette Lewis remark was over the line, but I think a lot of the comments here are over the line, so what the fuck do I know?

I think you're lovely and I urge you to continue your baghunting. It's something you can do, as you are small, young, pretty, and female. I'm just a fucking marionette - but at least I get REAL wood for the hotts...

Oh - by the way, if you and your friend actually own the picture (as in it was taken at your behest on your equipment) then those MinamiBags can huff and puff all they want - it's your picture and you can blow it up into a billboard and put the word DUH on their foreheads and they have very little recourse.

Art is Art. Fuck Them.

But: DB1 is a generous sort who always errs on the side of accommodation.

Do get a blogger acccount and post your mocking these fools. We could use the estrogen around here.
 

While my colleagues work on the aforementioned legal action (10:07), I am busy drafting new legislation. I'm calling it "Burnt Red's Law." This law essentially reiterates several aspects of intellectual property that already exist, while adding some additional penalties for attempting to circumvent said law. Here is a draft:

Burnt Red's Law
(1) Merely appearing in a picture does not make you, in any way, the "owner" of said picture.
(2) Pursuant to #1, you may not threaten to sue "some fags" based on nothing other than the fact that said picture of you was published on the internet.
(3) In addition to #2, if a complainant has a picture taken of themselves being an asshat, and then said picture appears on the internet, the complainant has no legal recourse whatsoever, and should really shut the fuck up about it.
 

they called her and threatened to take legal action because it's 'damaging to their careers to have that picture there'

Pussies. They should nut up and come here and take their abuse like men, not hide behind some hott's skirts like scared little douchies.
 

@G.G.C.

No worries. You are nottadouche.

Sick fuck.
 

@Alecia,

As I've stated before, many times, I do not have the testicular fortitude to tag 'bags in the wild. For I am a very closeted ‘bag hunter. But, I solute you for your efforts, and hope that you maintain your diligent efforts in the trenches of this Sämuræ Sçrøte-forsaken war. You are a Lämp unto our path. I will continue to do my part, by mocking the douchescrotes from the safety of my mammie’s basement.

Keep up the good work.
 

@Mr. White,

Excellent work, partner.

But I would add that suing "some FAGGOATH'S" is completely acceptable in this current FUCCEN climate.
 

Luke & Marty need to perhaps look within to find what is truly damaging to their careers. If they weren't douchebags, they would not have ended up on this site, and there would be no danger to their livelihood. This logic has all been laid out thousands of years ago in Aristotle's "Prior Analytics". Pure syllogism. Good work DB1, perhaps this will give these 'bags pause the next time they go out clubbing. But probably not.
 

@ CRWSP, LLP

Such photographic evidence of asshattery may be presented as a statement against the parties' own interest.

I will begin drafting our N.J.R. 1:4-8 frivolous lawsuit withdrawal demand.
 

I didn't think Alecia looked fat. Really nice jugs on her.
 

Thanks, Crucial Head.

Did I mention I'm from Detroit? I took this picture of Matt Stafford after a preseason Lions game.
 

Dumbasses who post their cheeseball pics online damage their own careers. Yes employers check all the social networking pages now. The solution is don't post your life story and candid pics in the public domain.
 

Cheez and Lincoln Log must frequent the same tatoo parlor.

And now Alana wants her picture taken down. She was just humoring her retarded cousin "Mattie".
 

Alecia:

Don't let the "fat Juliette Lewis" get you down; a fat Juliette Lewis = a healthy BMI and normal woman. It takes guts to post your image here, since it's often a trigger-reflex to mock any and all images simply for appearing. Certainly it takes more guts than making crass statements about a girl's looks as an anon. And I'm not just saying that to suck up to you. I'm saying it as a matter of principle AS WELL AS sucking up to you.

See how I did that, Crucial?

Anon 10:44's comment still has me chortling like a stoned barge pilot: "I didn't think Alecia looked fat. Really nice jugs on her." That is chivalry, HCwDB-style! Awesome. heh heh
 

Speaking of sucking up: The potluck we just had here reminded me:

Happy Boss's Day DB1!


ps: We want a raise. And our currency is Ass Pear.
 

@crucial

Good point. I consulted with my colleague FKLYTEETH on the issue, and he dashed of a brief memo about "SALTY FUCEN STATUTES ADND PRECEIDENT!" and promised to get back to us.
 

This is a special photograph: It is clearly the first time Cheez ever saw a camera.

I hope the poor bastard taking the pic didn't have flash on; it would have triggered a chimp mauling.
 

Alecia,

I live in Detroit too. You ever go bag hunting in Royal Oak on a Friday or Saturday night? I usually go to the midnight movies at the Main theater there and the parking is a mess due to guys with waxed chests and gelled hair and the women that love them.
 

Crockett and Tubbs would never wear such yard sale items out to da club. Ohh Blondie so so fine I'd lick her nostrils.
 

@darksock

Speak for yourself. I do not demand Asspear. I demand a more generous matching program for my Hott Librarian Investment Fund.

And by "investment fund" I mean the folder on my desktop that's called "System Backup" but in fact contains thousands of images that bear a resemblance to these.
 

That scene in Natural Born Killers where the gas station scrub gives Juliette Lewis oral pleasures on the Corvette hood was exciting. Juliette has a band and looks damn good on stage with her perky nipples. The only works of art are women.
 

@Mr. White

Excellent. I believe we may need to consult further with the respectable firm of FYTUEETH, LLAEMERIA L.L.P., should this case go all the way to the Supreme Court.

We must consider all options here.
 

bcs said...
samurai scrote kick-fucked nancy reagan in 1979
 

I accept cleavite in satisfaction of legal fees.
 

Underboob/sideboob is a recognized currency as well.
 

I may not have enough on me to make change for a Nip Slip though
 

I believe bottomcheek is the recognized "Euro" of HCwDB.
 

Can I just go ahead and vote for Cheez in Monday's Weekly?
 

All these asshole guys have the same three insults to women that shoot them down or humiliate them, even though they deserve it every single time. Fat, bitch, or skank.

With men who insult their sexual, physical, or intellectual prowess, the response is also the same. "Yer a f'cking faggot and I'm gonna kick yer ass!"

BTW, inside sales for Kirby is not a career.
 

The fact that Katie gave those fembots her number speaks volumes about her.

Threatening legal actions sounds like a bad joke to me, simply because they'd have to find an attorney who is even more douchier than they are who'd represent them...not an easy feat.

Oh wait, it is Miami.
 

He looks like Robert Blake's Cro-Magnon ancestor
 

Guy on the left looks really familiar, besides Tommy Lee wannabe look. Previous bag?
 

Glad to have you around, Alecia (and maybe even the reg posing as her here.....?) - please do get a Blogger account and add to our roster of lovely baghuntresses! : D
 

Alecia,

We were made for each other. Marry me?
 

Alecia is one HOTTIE, but the CHEEZ fakes chest hair with tribal tatts and scorns in disgust as his vee-neck plunge apes a female with cleavite. He is seriously weird. Me-oh-my-oh.
I'd bet that David Caruso agrees.
 

This message reeks of foul play. Let's look a the facts:

1.)trip to Miami (the douche Medina)
2.)having shots in a douche Miami club
3.)friend got the number
4.)threatened her with legal action rather than the site?

Come on, those facts make no sense whatsoever.

I bet the friend who gave the number is Alecia.

I am not buying this hockey. She sent the picture thinking Luke would not call back, but he did. Now, she feels remorseful.

Someone here has to stand up to this because all you other wankers are too caught up in those pink heels to consider the facts.

I cry foul.

Encyclopedia Brown is on the case.
 

I just had a Gator flashback, it's like heatstroke only with more hallucinations involving hotty commingling with choad.
 

Kenny Chesney + Jon Gosselin x Christian Audigier = The Cheez
 

Cheez is like Charleez's cabana boy. the only reason he (might) get his 15 minutes of fame in the next weekly is because of Charleez, and certainly not his own aptitude with the douche. sad.

Katie, give ME your number next time.

er i'm not trying to pick you up like a douchebag. i'm just... um... oogling over your suckle thigh like a bag hunter should, and... uh... your phone number is a necessary...

fuck.
 

The people at MTV want to make sure they don't hire any douches.

HI-OH!
 

@ Alecia

I'm very, very sorry I missed your pic. Juliette Lewis makes me hot in tickly ways in my funny bits. Please, by all means, stay for the fun and feel free to send me some pics of yourself. I'm never mad at a girl with nice, natural curves, either. I'm a skilled chef and baker, I keep a tidy house and I'm a very flexible pervert. And it's getting to be winter. You need hot soup, fresh cupcakes and someone to help get the lotion all over to keep your skin nice and soft. Thanks in advance.
 

It's The Gator's Little Braheim!

B-B-B-Bag To The Bone
 

so, I definitely didn't write any of the above comments; I have no right to call someone a sick fuck.. I have no problem creating an account with my picture & continue to assist in recognizing douches. I also did not get their #.. I uploaded my own pic and used my own name, it would make no sense to do that & then ask for it to be taken down. Also, I don't live in Detroit, but I have been to Royal Oak once.. and it was surrounded by a plague of tools.. & if it's true that the guys can't do anything legally to this site or me for having that picture up.. put it back up.