Your typical young baggling beginning his journey into
Douchedom. So fucking sad.
I mean that she's hanging with him.
 

Well, she's hot, he's not. What else can one say.
 

She's golden.

He's moldin'.....
 

Damn girl! You trashy... and I like that.

- Douchey Smurf
 

Is this really the same scrote? I say "No" because of the left arm tatts (or lack thereof):

Weekly appearance with "Pepi Lepsy" name

Today
 

I would chain my left leg to a Kapok tree then saw that leg off with a dull rusty spoon and drag my bleeding carcass through the forest surviving on Brazil Nuts and my own micturition, only to be rescued by Penelope's second cousin twice removed Pepe who would take me back to his village and cauterize my wound with burnt log, just to be laid in a cot that Penelope's sister once slept in during her last visit, perhaps to catch the latent scent of green papaya Penelope once regurgitated after she became afflicted with the swine flu from Paulo...who loves Pepsi.

'cause I'm a tree hugger like that.
 

She is all sorts of misguided 19 year old wannabe rebel hottness. Daddy may not approve, but I do. She has a healthy case of the perky nipples, a strong indicator of breast fortitude, and that is a quality worth appreciating.

Him? Well, he's a moldy cheese sandwhich covered in poo sauce. And nobody likes poo sauce. Nobody.
 

Here is his hair style.....
 

Seriously, I'd love to see a couple more pics of her semi-Samoan hottness.

My goodness, she has HoH potential because of those luscious lips.....
 

She'd be prettier if both of her eyes were looking at the same thing.
 

Ugh, Ramen hair. Girl, you need conditioner. Please stop by my place and I will gladly give you a scalp massage, trim the ends of your hair and deep-condition it. Of course, we will simultaneously be scissoring in the bathtub while Mr. White videotapes us, but, trust me, your hair will look so much better.


When did I become a vicious lesbian? WTF. Too much alone time, methinks. Well, in 48 hours Romeo Biscotti lands on US soil and will stuff my every orifice full of Italian sausage, thank goodness. Dick check...it's brought me back from the dyke brink so many times.

As for Pepilepsi Pete....is this a member of a Bra!! cult or something?
 

That's my daughter with tha guitarrr-ist from Sum 41, you weirdos.

Miley, shouldn't you be datin' guys twice your age with mer money?
 

I wish he were more like Crystal Pepsi. In that he would just go away one day and no one would ever notice or care.
 

This girl is so incredibly hot. She looks like ten kinds of trouble wrapped up in one taught, lithe, young, moist, firm, golden, nubile little package. But this trouble I would risk, for the few ecstatic moments I could manage to spend at the gates of her holiest of holies.

He, on the other hand, is indescribably douchey.

That is all.

BTW... Medusa-- I like how you think.
 

She is the perfect mix of hott and skank. I am in love.
 

jonezy FTW
 

Nice little hipbone peek on Her Royal Pacific Island Hotnessssss.....
 

Medusa expressed my thoughts more eloquently than I could have. "Ramen hair" for the win.

I was going to suggest that we scrub the inch-thick make up off, cutt off about six inches of hair, and then see where we're at. This process will either allow her real hotness to shine through, or it will be like one of those poofy haired little mop dogs right after a bath--the end result will be scrawny, annoying, and kick-worthy.
 

Are we getting a sneak peek at the latest douche move of 2010? The half-tucked shirt/giant buckle reveal is like a recurring infection that originated from mid-90's boy bands.
 

Where are the Gnobe Indians and their poison dart frogs when you really need them?
 

I love her belt.

I'd love to beat HIM with her belt.

Then I'd lick her snozzberries.
 

Using the soda can, Rodney demonstrated his reach-around technique for the Rusty Trombone.
 

His head looks like a flaming guitar pick.
 

His head looks like someone left the doors open on a VW Cabriolet and set fire to the rag top.
 

It even looks like the Pepsi can is douched-out. Is this the Limited Edition Ed Hardy can?
 

You just know that an entire day's conversation between these two goes something like this:

Him: [staring off at nothing.]
Her: So, you want to do something?
Him: What? Like, what?
Her: I don't know.
Him: [Staring off into space again, absently scratching his junk.]
Her: [Eyes attracted to his moving hand like a cat to bouncing string.] I don't know, maybe we could, I don't know, like f*ck or something. My parents won't be home for a couple hours.
Him: Okay.

Me: [Putting my dictionary and thesaurus away] It should take only a couple days to obtain my Concealed Carry permit here in good old Utah. Unless of course they follow HCwDB in which case I could have it same day.

Pepilepsi Pete...I will find you. You're too retarded to run, and even if you knew I was on your trail, well you're too retarded to put much effort into hiding either. And when I do find you I will shove my Desert Eagle mark XIX pistol into his left orbital so hard you'll be able to hold it in place with your eyelids.

After you give up Bebe's phone number, I'll put a round right into your hollow cranium without so much as a second thought. It will however, take several more shots to actually locate and evaporate your pea-sized brain. And then an additional round or two into your hips to destroy the gray matter providing ambulatory control for your legs.

Until then, have another Pepsi and know that I hate you just a little bit more with every passing second.
 

I'm having a seizure looking at HIM with HER.
And a serious belch of Pepsi to punctuate it.
 

ramen-haired Jill isn't too bad, but she is clearly no Marion.

Pete's facial spams aren't spasmodic enough to enable him to snatch hotter hotts. that must be it. time to whip out those pliers, Pete.
 

She is smokin' hott look at those pouty lips and svelte figure.Is that a bronze spiked belt! Bravo for the hott no comment on the assflap with the Poopsi can.
 

The new pepsi flavour, 'pepsi douche'... or perhaps douche pepsi, which is close enough to dispepsy to make some twisted sense