Hot Chicks with Douchebags: The Poopaloompa

what the fuck happened to men?

# posted by

Anonymous : 4:13 PM

Oh please tell me there's more than one of these photos...

# posted by

dB : 4:14 PM

He looks like a character from Mortal Kombat after you left the game on all night and it burned the poo-colored image into your CRT screen.

# posted by

ehcuodouche : 4:16 PM

Shame about some actors. Some never outgrow their roles.
Like the guy here who once played Ming the Merciless in a porn film.

# posted by

shawk : 4:17 PM

Three words: Closet of Poo.

There can be no other logical choice.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 4:17 PM

Forget Closet of Poo. This emo orange atrocity is a contender for the Closet of Oily Discharge.

# posted by

Jacques Doucheteau : 4:21 PM

If my taint had a nose and spray-on tan, it would look like this guy.

# posted by

Jacques Doucheteau : 4:22 PM

This guy should have been the first contestant who gets killed in the 80s film Running Man.

# posted by

Anonymous : 4:24 PM

If Axe made a wet dog food scent this guy would sue for trademark infringement.

To the closet with him.

# posted by

End the Haberdouchery : 4:26 PM

Wow. Just...just wow.

Dude's skin is so ovenbaked that his arm looks like a fucking loaf of challah.

# posted by

Publius Choadius Naso : 4:29 PM

Holy fucking shit, It's hideous!

Wait, it's a human? Like, a real life person? That fucking blows my mind like railing a line of powdered drano off the anus of a Sudanese Yak.

I bet you could get pink eye from just looking at him.

Wait, my eyes are feeling a little itchy... NOOOO!!! Damn it, time to go pick up some topical cream

# posted by

Sergeant Scrote Stain : 4:34 PM

nott a hott

# posted by

Douche McAllister : 4:34 PM

This post has been removed by the author.

# posted by

Señor Squash : 4:34 PM

I know it's not very witty or original, but I actually hate this piece of shit.

# posted by

scrotum pole : 4:36 PM

Holy s

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Man, I'm dyin' here!

# posted by

Señor Squash : 4:38 PM

Wow, he probably spent more time on sculpting his eyebrows than his chin pubes.

# posted by

Anonymous : 4:44 PM

Stop wheezing my look. Hello Kitty Gangster Bag already tried. You both get an "F" for "Fuckups". My army of flying monkeys is coming for you.

# posted by

Emperor Ming : 4:48 PM

I didn't know Adam Lambert took steroids for breakfast this morning...

# posted by

Anonymous : 4:48 PM

I found a pic of his sister.

# posted by

Jacques Doucheteau : 4:52 PM

David Bowie meets Bruce Lee meets Jafar from Disney's Aladin.

# posted by

massengill : 4:58 PM

@ Jacques 4:52

BWHAAHAHAHAHA.

Funny ass shit, good show my man.

# posted by

Sergeant Scrote Stain : 5:00 PM

We've seen this douche before.

# posted by

Mr. Scrotato Head : 5:04 PM

I don't think the ladies are the only ones that need to be afraid. He scares the shit out of me. His hott is his sister, cause only family could love a turd like that.

# posted by

Hackey Sac : 5:05 PM

No wait. Sorry. We've seen him here.

# posted by

Mr. Scrotato Head : 5:06 PM

Damn! My mistake. This time for real. We've seen this douche here.

# posted by

Mr. Scrotato Head : 5:08 PM

Holy creeping blue-eyed Jesus! How did an anime villain turn orange? Is my LCD hi-def on the blink again?

# posted by

Horace Dangleballs : 5:11 PM

@ Massengill

Damn, one step ahead of me...same conclusion.

The more I look at the picture the angrier I get. Just what is he? Some twisted, freakish Dwight Schrute crushing our delicate, high-boobied Pam Beasley? I lose count everytime I try to sum up his dookie:

1- jelled hair helmet
2- tweaked brow
3- Orange
4- 1000 yard stare
5- Chinstrap
6- Ear bling
7- Overworked physique
8- Pink wifebeater
9- Guyliner
10-Mr. Angry Face
11-Pussy lips

MMMMMMMMM...pussy lips.

Yeah, we've definitely seen him before.

Quick coaching point, Sinbag, you rescue the damsel, you don't anal rape her, stuff her in a shopping cart, and dump her on her parent's lawn with her pants around her cankles and a box of nerds tucked in her ass.

# posted by

Mr. Scrotato Head : 5:21 PM

We didn't listen.

# posted by

Hackey Sac : 5:24 PM

He dyed his beardlet (hairy wannabe-cleft marker?) and hair, but not his eyebrows. Points deducted.

But he did take great care to use his kohl eye pencil to fill in the inside part of his lower lid. I'm a girl, and I don't spend that much time on my eye make-up. Douche points restored.

Bonus: more than the classic 'bag vacant stare, he's going for the Evil Douche Master look. (I also don't spend that much time tweezing my brows.)

Either that or the photographer just asked him which spray tan salon he uses, and Ming is attempting to melt the photog's brain with his eyes. Or kill goats. One or the other.

# posted by

Summer's Eve : 5:24 PM

This is catastrophic. I have just "accidentally" defibrillated myself on exposed electrical wires, in the hopes of un-seeing that image. the dick tickler chin patch must give ryan seacrest raised vitals.

# posted by

Ludwig van Baghoven : 5:28 PM

Hey, I'm back! Wow!! Look at what I see when I first open up HCwDB!!! OMG, I bet Poopaloompa goes both ways.

And when I say both ways, I mean, hit him over the head with both sides of a HAMMER!!!!

ASvB

ps "If my taint had a nose and spray-on tan, it would look like this guy." Classic

BTW, my taint has eye-liner eyebrows already, so all I have to do is add spray-on tan and BAMM!! Poopaloompa!!!!!!

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 5:29 PM

This post has been removed by the author.

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 5:33 PM

@Scrotato Head 5:04pm

You should have stopped there. Fuccen LOLICOPTRZ!

I'm cryin' salty fuccen tears.

heh heh heh.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 5:33 PM

Why would workout buddy hang out with TacoBell honey?

If my taint was fat, and had white teeth, it would look like her.

ASvB

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 5:34 PM

Sup Adolph.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 5:35 PM

If my taint was Sun-Beam, Golden Brown, with Bicep-Implants, and was snuggling an oversized throw-pillow, then it would look like the two of 'em.

ASvB

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 5:37 PM

Sup Crucial, been on hiatus. Glad to be back. Medusa has been keeping me informed of all the goings on here at HCwDB.

ASvB

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 5:38 PM

Seriously, I don't know whether to laugh or cry. There is a poo pandemic out there people! It scares the hell out of me that men are catching this taint and turning into pansy ass, too-much-gel-using, spray-on-tan-smearing, guyliner-applying, tweezing, manscaping, chest-shaving-and-oiling, assface moron DOUCHEBAGS! Is it that this is a new phenomenon or that the internet has uncovered the scrote shame that has always been, OK -- fuck laughing or crying -- this turd-sucking pube flea makes me PISSED OFF. Oh how I wish I could kick him in his puny little nads -- not that it would do much damage. Look at the girl he is smooshing into the wall -- she took 1/8th the time he did to primp -- AND SHE'S A GIRL!!! And he looks like a pile of cat vomit that has been sitting for hours on the tarmac on the hottest day on Las Vegas history. A face like that makes me want to smack his mother.

# posted by

kellygirl : 5:39 PM

This douche totally looks like Ming the Merciless: http://www.overthinkingit.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/ming_the_merciless.jpg

# posted by

The Nerd : 5:40 PM

There's not much more that I can say about the douchenozzle that ya'll haven't already said, so I'll ask this: What's up with the farthog he's with?

# posted by

ruggbutt : 5:40 PM

Ouch; painful to behold.
Another strong weekly shaping up. This guy will contend.

# posted by

Wedgie : 5:42 PM

If my taint, smelled like day old, hot bier, boiled eggs, sauerkraut, and huevos rancheros spread over the crotch of a desert tribeswoman, then it would smell exactly the same as his armpit.

ASvB

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 5:46 PM

Yes, we have seen him before.

# posted by

Jacques Doucheteau : 5:49 PM

I just asked the wife who should be shot first if our daughter brought home this walking anal discharge.

The choices were:
1. The walking skidmark;
2. My wife for not teaching our daughter any better;
3. Myself;
4. Or the walking melanoma's grandfather in 1948 once my time machine is perfected.

# posted by

UFO Destroyers : 5:49 PM

WTF we ain't got any water out here

# posted by

Desert Tribeswoman : 5:51 PM

If this photo had a soundtrack it would be " Bzzzzz-ttzzzttt-tzit" from Poopaloompa's radioactivity.

Whomever said notahott was being kind. This chick is bummin'. She was probably kind of cute before his aura partially melted her face

# posted by

Vin Douchal : 5:52 PM

I shit this guy out after finishing the double chicken fried steak at Mama's Cafe. I think it was the overdose of cream gravy.

# posted by

BillDouchiest the Wild Swine : 5:56 PM

RE: Jacques Doucheteau 5:49 PM

What a fat pussy!!!

# posted by

massengill : 6:04 PM

@ASvB^

Missed your blessed taint around here.

And if your talented taint came in second on the 2009 season of American Idol, and was possibly gay, it would be where we've definitely seen him before.

# posted by

Mr. Scrotato Head : 6:04 PM

@ Scrotato

Thanks, I missed you guys too.

My taint had a growth removed, hence the picture of Poopa.

ASvB

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 6:14 PM

@ Tribeswoman

Rainyseason, dammit, rainyseason.

ASvB

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 6:16 PM

Speechless...

# posted by

Douchey McDouche : 6:24 PM

Who would have thought the Antichrist would take the form of Satanbag! Here, poor Molly is being absorbed into his body as her soul is plunging straight to Hell.

-Douche Bauer

# posted by

Anonymous : 6:25 PM

Are you kidding me? Is that eyebrow drawn on? Remember him for Douche of the Year!

# posted by

Ricardo Montledouche : 6:26 PM

first - Adolf - welcome back.

second: this orange bucket of poo is what happened when Samurai Scrote sat on the excremeditation throne and made an unholy mixture of Fung and Xenu.

# posted by

Troy Tempest : 6:26 PM

Holy fuck....DB1, you must get so excited after getting a photo like this in your inbox.

How can you stand waiting to throw it out into the world to be mocked mercilessly? You had to know this would be an all-timer.

The joy you feel prior to unleashing something like this can only be trumped by throwing an angry, hungry badger into a burlap sac occupied by only a nude Fish Slap.

# posted by

Filthy McBaggin' : 6:27 PM

also, if this trog has been photographed with the likes of say, Charleez or the Floater's babe, he would be an instant winner of the annual. There would be no contest possible, even with two months left. Seriously. DB1 - do some digging. He's stunning.

# posted by

Troy Tempest : 6:30 PM

Instant Classic!
What a smoldering pc of dog shit this guy is. did i say guy?...not sure what it is

# posted by

Turdacious : 6:33 PM

John, I'm only dancing.

# posted by

Poopaloompa : 6:35 PM

First - Tempest - glad to be back.

Second - DB1 - do we have any additional pictures of this stunning specimen of poo?

ASvB

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 6:35 PM

@ Adolf

Welcome back. And furthermore, porch beef.

# posted by

massengill : 6:37 PM

Shit, I keep screwing up.

Really, this time, DB1 left this pic on the back of his toilet, under the scented soaps shaped like little lighthouses and seashells. This is where we've seen him before.

# posted by

Mr. Scrotato Head : 6:38 PM

I had more to say but i'm just kinda stunned here, i mean..
this guy should be used as the model for the Doucheman Trophy, kinda in the same mold as the Heisman Trophy...but not like that at all.

# posted by

Turdacious : 6:39 PM

In Argentina, I had sex with a retarded howler monkey; and this, I'm sorry to announce, is my love child.

ASvB

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 6:40 PM

Does it breathe? What does it eat?

# posted by

pv1 : 6:43 PM

This turd looks a lot like my parakeets' droppings...

# posted by

pv1 : 6:45 PM

Massengill, please let me know where I can purchase the following:

Tang (I had that as a kid so I would grow up to be an Astronaut)

guyliner

peach lipstick

emo hair

giant headed Russian bride

ASvB

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 6:46 PM

thats what happens when you teach poop to do bicep curls.

lesson learned: fecal matter is not allowed in the weights room unattended.

# posted by

Notorious B.A.G. : 6:47 PM

What the heck happened to my blogger view?? It had over 2 500 views, now it's 25. WTF

ASvB

ps, who gives a poo

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 7:02 PM

OK, now it's 6 800!! What the.....

ASvB

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 7:04 PM

I think the Poopaloompa is screwing with me.

I am sorry 'bout what I said about your HUGE GIRLFRIEND.

Really, I do feel bad about the obvious head trauma you suffered when the booth door was slammed on your face at the local Glory Hole.

BTW, that little chin mark tickles my nutties.

ASvB

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 7:09 PM

Adolph:

6800 is me; I been ROFB to your avatar.

You got some ketchin' up to do, Porch Beef...welcome back.

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:09 PM

Ok, without a douche tattoo, multiple piercings, and a marginal hot (I would like more pics to judge) and a single picture this shit bag has become a major contender for douche of the year. God this is like looking into a peephole to hell.

# posted by

HusslinHoosier : 7:10 PM

We didn't listen.

# posted by

Hackey Sac : 7:25 PM

This post has been removed by the author.

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 7:31 PM

@ DarkSock

Here is my FaceBook page. Enjoy.

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 7:37 PM

This fucknut has sisterswho have appeared before.....

# posted by

Wheezer : 7:38 PM

sisters who*

# posted by

Wheezer : 7:38 PM

Look at this pathetic limp-wristed fu#@*ng excuse for a dick owner. Makes me wanna...ARGH! I would beat this bitch to death with his own legs if I ran into him on the street. I swear.

# posted by

Douchterminator : 7:40 PM

I always wondered what happened to Reagan's ass polyps.

# posted by

Captain Bringdown : 7:40 PM

Hey, this guy is new rap/hip-hop sensation Why, O Ming?

What, wrong thread? Maybe he's today's version of "Creamsicle Ice."

# posted by

Wheezer : 7:52 PM

Well unless something unthinkable happens in the next 72 hours here's your weekly...

# posted by

DarkSock : 7:54 PM

@ Darksock
Weekly?
Are you really selling this fucktard that short ?
This Floater should be up for the millennium, this one underclassed them all

# posted by

Turdacious : 8:01 PM

@ Darksock
Weekly?
Are you really selling this fucktard that short ?
This Floater should be up for the millennium, this one underclassed them all

# posted by

Turdacious : 8:01 PM

The ugly side of Pon farr.

# posted by

Captain Bringdown : 8:04 PM

Captain Kirk...I sincerely hope it was not you who ate my last protein shake.

# posted by

Captain Bringdown : 8:06 PM

hey gang.

have i missed anything?

# posted by

pfah : 8:13 PM

@Pfah!

Welcome back.

Nah.

# posted by

Mr. Scrotato Head : 8:14 PM

@Pfah

Nothing much going on around here.

# posted by

Mr. Scrotato Head : 8:14 PM

i'm kidding. of course i've missed things. many, MANY funny & entertaining things i am sure.

i really bummed i can't be a regular like the good ole days. it's maddening. but just know that i miss the camaraderie and general hilarity that is this wonderful place.

keep up the good fight ladies and gentlemen. and Plinky's mom.

i miss ya.

# posted by

pfah : 8:16 PM

@Mr. Scrotato Head....thanks dude. keep it lively in here.

# posted by

pfah : 8:17 PM

did the guy in this picture borrow that arm from Carrot Top?

# posted by

pfah : 8:19 PM

Pfah,

You missed the birth and exaltation of Porch Beef.

That is all.

# posted by

Sergeant Scrote Stain : 8:20 PM

it's too bad she looks like a truck stop waitress.

otherwise, this shot would be the Weekly winner.

# posted by

pfah : 8:20 PM

"Porch Beef"?!??

i LOVE it! that's an instant classic. i hope it's being used as much as Darksock's jelly dong.

# posted by

pfah : 8:21 PM

Holy shit... he's... he's... he's ALIVE!!

Welcom back Pfah.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:23 PM

The chick in this picture is the living embodiment of the word, "fecaphilliac."

# posted by

Sergeant Scrote Stain : 8:24 PM

How is it Adolf and pfah seem to appear and disappear at the same time.

Just saying.

Porch Beef

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:25 PM

well.....i'm not entirely back Crucial Head. even though i wish i was. it's been busy, busy, busy around these parts. it's all good stuff, which is nice.

the biggest news is that Mrs. Pfah is preggers.

yep, ole Pfah got one past the goalie!

how's by you brother?

# posted by

pfah : 8:25 PM

And yes Porch Beef has been Tossed around as much, if not more, than the beloved Jelly Dong. It's the most versatile term since "fuck."

# posted by

Sergeant Scrote Stain : 8:27 PM

@Porch Beef.....i don't know. i've only been myself in here. well, ok......96.4% of the time.

# posted by

pfah : 8:27 PM

@DarkSock 7:54pm:

Well unless something unthinkable happens in the next 72 hours here's your weekly...

Are you a prophet now?

Approximately 19 minutes after that post, Pfah pops his glorious bald head into our little world?

Can you cure my Aunt's cousin's cancer too?

Okay, that was a stupid question.

Of course you can, you're an Architect.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:28 PM

@Pfah,

Congrats my good man. I just had my second this last Spring. Now I gots a boy and a girl.

You are in for some good times, some rough times, and times that require much alcohol... but it's worth it.

Just ask DarkSock - he has something like thirteen kids.

Congrats again. Boy or girl?

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:31 PM

Congratulations! A lowercase pfah. For all the time you've been away, you must have been working damn hard at it.

If you haven't kept an eye on things, you've missed some outstanding examples of douchenozzle. And if you have been keeping an eye on things, well you could have chimed in for God's sake.

# posted by

Mr. Scrotato Head : 8:31 PM

Leather bag is the kind of douche to emulate. This douche is pure evil with a hot I could get. Well maybe could get. Well might talk to if she was my waitress.

# posted by

Hackey Sac : 8:32 PM

@DarkSock 7:54pm:

Please cure my Porch Beef.

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 8:32 PM

Hi pfah (lower case pfah, LOL)

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 8:33 PM

@Crucial Head...thank you my dear friend. and congrats on your second!! we're not sure what ours is yet, but from the looks of the very first ultrasound, my kid's already got a dong longer than mine. we'll offically know in about 2 weeks.

geez...13 kids? that Jelly Dong sure sees a whole lotta action and apparently isn't firing blanks.

# posted by

pfah : 8:34 PM

@Mr. Scrotato Head...i honestly have checked in only twice. the first time i didn't comment, but i read through some of the genius and laughed until i pooped myself. twice.

@Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein....hey dude! missed ya!

# posted by

pfah : 8:36 PM

ok gentlemen....i need to roll out. please give my love to those i missed.

and by 'love', i of course mean 'Porch Beef'.

i'll make it a point to jump in the comments section more often than i have been able to.

until then, 'bag on brothers. 'bag on.

# posted by

pfah : 8:40 PM

This is simply unacceptable! We can't have hybrid test tube douches macking on our everyday hotts!

# posted by

The Blessed Scrotini : 8:43 PM

Cheez not no faaaa. But Cheez awlrede miss fha..paaa...thpaaah...phwaaaat...

Cheez miss that fukr.

sniff.

# posted by

Cheez : 8:48 PM

My fellow 'baghunters and huntresses, we've just had a call to arms by one of the fore(head)fathers of this site.

I think this means we need to step up our mocking game...

... right after I get over my IPGFPB.

And by IPGFPB, I would of course mean:

Inappropriate, possibly gay for Pfah boner.

# posted by

Crucial Head : 8:48 PM

^ I agree Croosh. I will commence my training regimine by spending the next 47 minutes feverishly masterbating to black market videos of 14 year old trannies stuffing rabid badgers into their make-shift vaginas.

It's time to get serious folks.

And by 'serious', I mean 'poo'.

Seriously.

# posted by

Sergeant Scrote Stain : 9:11 PM

G.M. Chrysler, never mind the weekly: this guy's going to give Smoot a running in the year-end poll.

# posted by

One for the Choad : 9:12 PM

What a travesty.

# posted by

Doucheous Aurelius : 9:16 PM

Definitely Closet of Poo material.

# posted by

The Chuck Leibowitz Explosion : 9:29 PM

I am still trying to make sense of Satanbag's arm. His bicep looks like it is too far up. Does he have baby arm syndrome? Is it, as someone said, an implant? He clearly is an abomination in the eyes of God and must be destroyed. Saint Michael the Archangel, descend from Heaven and cast this Satanbag back to hell!

-Douche Bauer

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:35 PM

PFAH!!!!! The prodigal son returns.

Congrats on the little Pfah. But, if it comes out with a red curly fro, horse teeth, a big shnoz and is soothed by the sound of a tattoo machine, I know nothing about it *whistling*

Either way, I'm off to bed early. My ovaries, on seeing this Frightbag and his orange spermaspores, have opte to tear out through my ass hole and I'm not feeling too good now.

In fact, I'm bleeding a lot and I feel kinda dizzy.

In fact, I'm putting a shotgun in my mouth for comfort, actually. the pain, it must stop.

# posted by

Medusa Oblongata : 9:47 PM

I don't even know what to say. On the bright side, he (it?) will die of cancer soon and there will be one less Poopaloompa out there.

# posted by

notadouche : 9:53 PM

For cripes sake Pfah!, its nice to hear from you but can't you see we have a situation here?, Look at this Tanned bananna slug, this is an all time low or high depending on your point of view. This is what you find at the bottom of a migrant workers porta potty...I say no vote needed, this thing before us should be the douchebag mascot...all in favor?...Of course DB1 you have final say... but even in your twinky high PBR induced stupor you can see I'm right...right?

# posted by

Turdacious : 10:00 PM

omigod
OMIGOD

# posted by

Whoop-di-douche : 10:47 PM

That arm is a

a) ball python

b) boa constrictor

c) anaconda

d) curving base of the toilet stool drain.

# posted by

Whoop-di-douche : 10:52 PM

His little landing strip stem holds the most delicate pink cocktail glass lower lip.

Oh, and DB1, she really isn't that hott, no, not at all.

But her pearly whites are lisping already: "YEARLY. YEARLY. YEARLY."

# posted by

Whoop-di-douche : 11:02 PM

I'm in the midst of pulling my second all-nighter at the office this week, and I keep coming back to this picture.

And I keep asking, "why god?"

"Why?"

"WHYYYYYYY!?!?!?!"

The answer is simple: There is no god.

This picture scientifically proves it.

Sorry Mormons, you've been abstaining from caffeine for no reason.

# posted by

Sergeant Scrote Stain : 12:52 AM

Pfah? PFAH?!? Hello?

Shit; missed him again.

Dammit guys next time he pops in tell him to get off his ass and do something about this doc infestation we have.

It's 3:00 am here, Sarge. Looks like it's just you and me.

Actually, looking at this picture reminds me that there's a disturbance in the Force, and by Force I mean my clenched and knotted bran-free colon, so now it's just you on night shift because I need to skim the trench of the ceramic death star and impact a chocolate proton torpedo on it's surface.

Are we SURE this is an authentic photo; that someone didn't just press-fit a pair of googly eyes onto a stolen truck stop ass log and Photoshop it into this poor woman's photo album?

# posted by

DarkSock : 1:10 AM

I can almost hear the whisper of BCS's ghost on the wind, saying "I'd fuck 'em both..."

# posted by

DarkSock : 1:13 AM

@ Whoop 11:02

"His little landing strip stem holds the most delicate pink cocktail glass lower lip."

I see a Bic razor with a labia head...

# posted by

DarkSock : 1:22 AM

***lurches back to toilet***

# posted by

DarkSock : 1:23 AM

to celebrate the return of lower case pfah, i have temporarily restored my old HCwDB nickname.

i haven't felt this hardcore since DB1 himself ventured into the kingdom of douche to supply his readers with mocking material. man, those were the wild west pioneering days of HCwDB. no movie deal, MTV deal, or book deal. but we could take on the world with nothing but a keyboard, and we knew that the one and only DB1 would hunt down the douche and the hott in the name of justice.

that being said, though, the eventual HCwDB book, MTV show, and upcoming movie are all important steps towards furthering our mock of everything scrote.

so, uh, where was i?

welcome back pfah. hopefully when you become more available to HCwDB, you will have advanced your career enough that the IT Nazis will no longer be able to boss you around. and say hi pfah Jr. for me.

# posted by

lower case bag : 1:27 AM

by the by, that Blogger outage a few minutes ago was a real pain in the douche.

# posted by

lower case bag : 1:29 AM

Sock

I am afraid, very afraid.

If someone was evil enough to concoct this photo in some sort of devilish lair, I can't even begin to comprehend their douche powers.

We must ask ourselves, "Is the Douche Sith pictured, the apprentice or the master?"

The fate of the world hinges on the answer to that very question.

# posted by

Sergeant Scrote Stain : 1:30 AM

@ Steve, er, lower case bag

It was indeed, although it did shield mine eyes from this atrocity.

So it was ALL bad.

# posted by

Sergeant Scrote Stain : 1:31 AM

^ "wasn't"

See, this picture is melting my brain as we speak.

# posted by

Sergeant Scrote Stain : 1:32 AM

MÅWMMÄ?

# posted by

ŁŁÅmmmæh : 1:34 AM

the first thing i think of when i look at this pic:

INCEST!

dunno why.

# posted by

lower case bag : 1:41 AM

Gaaaah! 4 hours of beer finished off with late night tacos carnitas do not lessen the impact of this rectal wart of a... man(?).

Why the chin pube landing strip? I thought all the 'ginas were full Brazilian these days.

This testicle stain looks like the result of the unholy mating of Carrot Top and the bassist from Fallout Boy.

Oh man, those tacos aren't sitting so well...

# posted by

Jacques Doucheteau : 1:52 AM

Dude, there's no way that two humans produced this...

this...

...this "thing". I don't care if they were related, this is an abomination of nature.

If I were you, I would be thinking "bestiality."

# posted by

Sergeant Scrote Stain : 1:54 AM

Fuck it, I give.

To the Closet of Poo with him!

# posted by

Jacques Doucheteau : 1:55 AM

I've been dipping non-stop for the past 4 hours.

I'm hoping that all my teeth will fall out by the end of the night so that I will stop gnashing them every time I look at the pic. I've already ground my poor incisors down to nubs and the rest are soon to follow if I don't hurry up and get gum cancer.

# posted by

Sergeant Scrote Stain : 2:06 AM

Naw. No living creature on this earth is that hideous. Jocelyn Wildenstein could get raped by a hoard of proboscis monkeys and still squeeze out more visually tolerable offspring.

# posted by

Jacques Doucheteau : 2:07 AM

I'm currently downing charcoal capsules, chelated zinc, peppermint tea and and vicodin in a harsh struggle to keep from vomiting.

...again.

# posted by

Jacques Doucheteau : 2:11 AM

Yo Jacques,

Why are you up at this hour trolling the web?

I assume the same reason as myself, you saw this picture and instantly knew that you wouldn't be able to sleep.

Or even worse, you knew that if you were to fall asleep, Poopaloompa would visit your dreams like a turdtastic Freddy Krueger. But instead of murdering you, which would be the easy way out, he would transform you into something hideous and evil. You would awake, orange, roidy, with chin strap and shaved groin, and would be forced to spend the rest of your days hiding your disfigured shape in the alleys of New Jersey.

I took one look at this pic and said, "No sir, fuck you Poompa, you're not going to get me, I'm going to the office to pump out proposals 'till my eyes bleed. You won't take me!"

# posted by

Sergeant Scrote Stain : 2:36 AM

^ And how did I know that Poopaloompa has a shaved groin?

Call it a gut feeling.

Or maybe that's just nausea?

# posted by

Sergeant Scrote Stain : 2:48 AM

I dont know why, but his chin reminded me of this video.

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 3:01 AM

@ Pfah

Congrats in the little one.

A word of caution from someone that's changed more diapers than Nancy Reagan: THERE WILL BE POOP.

You can prepare by gazing at PoopaLoompa for 5 minutes every day.

# posted by

DarkSock : 3:05 AM

Okay, I took another peek at the Poopaloompa and didn't puke pancreatic diarrhea pudding this time. I win!

Now it's time to pass out on the floor watching Erin Grey's transcendent hotness (biddy-biddy), and dream pleasant dreams of Friday and the MC Chris show this weekend.

Life is good.

# posted by

Jacques Doucheteau : 3:23 AM

pfah!

Welcome back & congrats on the biscuit in the oven.

Keep Mrs. away from the computer - this guy's more threatening to her pregnancy that cigarettes and bourbon.

# posted by

boatbutter : 4:13 AM

Poopaloompa FTW

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 4:21 AM

Hundertfünfzig

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 4:22 AM

DarkSock, you must wake at the same hour I do.

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 4:23 AM

...And, I think Jacques Doucheteau and Sergeant Scrote Stain just stay up all night.

Just an observation.

ASvB

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 4:25 AM

Jacques, I know your Avatar from somewhere.... I just can't place it.

ASvB

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 4:27 AM

This post has been removed by the author.

# posted by

Adhe : 5:06 AM

I once rcvd a response to a personal ad attacking me for being fat. After a few exchanges, capt douchebag had pretty much said he was awesome because he's a bodybuilder and I'm nothing because I'm a fattie. Bc he was dumb enough to have his full name in the header, I quickly found him online, found his person website, found his photos, found his penis in said photos and proceeded to lambaste him. In one photo he looked EXACTLY like what I would imagine the progeny of an oompaloompa and John Goodman would look like...and I told him so. That makes this all the more hilarious to me. I may be fat, but I'm certainly more attractive than a Poopaloompa. Rocky Tilson, this one's for you.

# posted by

Adhe : 5:07 AM

spawn of satan, no question about it.

Just give that thing DB hall of fame king, close down the site, retire and blow your brains out

# posted by

Anonymous : 5:20 AM

Rocky Tilson seems OK to me, what's the problem there Fatty Adhe?

ASvB

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 5:45 AM

Did you think the lot of us regs were pud wankers? No, most of us are professionals, workout and find humor in the bags we mock.

Now go frolick.

ASvB

# posted by

Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein : 5:47 AM

Poopaloompa pic: Exhibit A, why we need regulation of the internet. Antivirus doesn't catch this type of thing and now my system is ruined.

# posted by

Anonymous : 6:11 AM

Yes ASvB,

Been up all god damn night pushing out proposals.

I would hate my life, but then I look at poopaloompa and think, "shit, this could get a whole lot worse."

And I'm pretty sure that looking at this picture has made me sterile.

# posted by

Sergeant Scrote Stain : 6:20 AM

Poompa's neck is actually consuming that girls face, the aura of the scrote is THAT strong with him.

God, the horror.

# posted by

Sergeant Scrote Stain : 6:26 AM

Nikki Sixx: guitarist; scrotebag. Searching for a way to tap into the hidden douche that all humans have. Then an accidental overdose of gamma radiation alters his body chemistry. And now when Nikki Sixx grows tired of heterosexuality, a startling metamorphosis occurs. The creature is driven by roid rage and pursued by a mystical orange glow. (Sixx: "Mr. McGee, don't make me wear hungry. You wouldn't like me when I'm hungry." The creature is wanted for a crime he did commit. Nikki Sixx would be better off dead, and to the world, he is dead, until he can find a way to control the raging douchebag that dwells within him.

# posted by

The Incredible Gulp : 6:36 AM

She looks like PorchDongJellyBeef. He look like a fat Juliette Lewis

# posted by

Anonymous : 6:37 AM

Forget the Weekly, Monthly, or the Yearly. This guy? has a head of steam straight for the Decade-ly.

# posted by

Hong Kong Douchey : 6:51 AM

From her comeback tour, a post-menopausal Joan Jett poses with a fan backstage at the Topeka Light Armory.

# posted by

Douche Bigalow : 6:56 AM

I'm hesitant to call him Kang's son, but the resemblence is there...

But can Klingon progeny become douches?

# posted by

I R A Darth Aggie : 6:59 AM

I will have a Flawless Victory against Poopaloompa.

FATALITY!!!

# posted by

Douche Wayne : 7:00 AM

She is far from a hott. Her shoulder is bigger than his. Still terrible though.

# posted by

Anonymous : 7:09 AM

HOLY SHIT!. HOS Instantly.

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:35 AM

Now, where is the female Wonder Twin?

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:46 AM

How do you say douchebag in Klingon?

# posted by

Darth Doucheous : 8:59 AM

what does it take to get your post removed by the author?

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:20 AM

I'm thinking this:

Poopa-loser here has a lady who is probably very sweet and fun, and may well be able to deep throat a cucumber and suck the chrome off a trailer hitch, but she is not what I would call a canonical, conventional, "hott".

So, what I think Pooper here needs is another picture of himself with a more conventional Hott, and we have a winner of the Annual, straight up.

However, if that doesn't come around TODAY, this guy, even though he REEEEEKS is going to have a tough time in the weekly against Meatclown and SnackCakes, esp. Meatclown and his Hott who is pretty damn hott, even if she is the Puerto Rican posterchild for BLEETH.

So, if Pooper doesn't come up with a hott, I think he should get a straight ticket to the Closet of Poo and some kind of special award for "most orange" or "Porch Beef".

# posted by

Troy Tempest : 9:22 AM

Troy:

Listen to what you're saying...you're ASKING FOR MORE IMAGES OF THIS...THIS....THING!

NOOOOO!!!!!!!

# posted by

DarkSock : 9:31 AM

Nobody pulls off Blue Steel better that OrangeOompa, made my day with this one.

# posted by

mtnplay : 9:39 AM

Jim, this man's a Klingon!

# posted by

Dr. Leonard McCoy : 11:25 AM

Star Trek : The Wrath of Poopaloompa

Oh dear God ... proceed directly to Hall of Scrote.. another iconic legend born here on HCWDB

# posted by

Anonymous : 12:00 PM

Great, amazing thread. I've been thoroughly entertained for many minutes on this lazy Friday afternoon.

Unfortunately, from one who Photoshops stuff all day, I can 100% identify this picture as a fraud, and not a very good one at that.

# posted by

Paper or Plastic : 1:24 PM

I've checked, and Photoshop does not have that shade in its palette.

# posted by

Anonymous : 1:42 PM

Douche looks a lot like Daisy de la Hoya's (of Rock of Love 2 and Daisy of Love) ex-boyfriend Charles (who had an appearance on the second season of Charm School). Same chin pubes, guyliner and emo-hair.

# posted by

skiggaret : 2:14 PM

CLOSET OF POO NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

# posted by

Vander : 2:39 PM

- looks like someone from Fist of
the North Star..or maybe the Tekken
games

# posted by

torgo85 : 2:47 PM

- looks like someone from Fist of
the North Star..or maybe the Tekken
games

# posted by

torgo85 : 2:47 PM

Lucifer much?

# posted by

joeEdo : 5:04 PM

ok, i've got it: Adam Sandler and Submariner's love child.

--VS

# posted by

Vinny Scumbaglia : 7:28 PM

Another sad case of fraternizing with The Orange People...

# posted by

His Doucheness : 9:58 AM

My god that guy is GORGEOUS.

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:30 AM

That little bit of fluff you call a 'moustache' looks like something a woman would have on her vagina.

But man you got me with the mascara

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:00 PM

@ Anon at 11PM, you mean like landing strip?

# posted by

BillDouchiest the Wild Swine : 7:50 AM

this will be my Halloween costume.

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:22 PM

Poop-a-loompa doo-pah-dee-douche

# posted by

Anonymous : 6:21 PM

Man I've been trying to find a "Donate now with Paypal" icon everywhere on this site.

# posted by

Anonymous : 5:42 PM

Holy crap! I've seen this guy at my gym! hahahahaha

He doesn't have the "tan", but he had the hair and eyebrows all done.

# posted by

tjw : 10:46 PM

The Joker said it best... "WHY SO SERIOUS?!" ... and orange?

# posted by

bpelliott : 7:40 PM

How has no one pointed out that this is Daisy's ex who she lived with and came on the show when she was on Rock of Love!

# posted by

Anonymous : 4:16 PM

This is Japan's pick for the yearly.

A red sun rises...

# posted by

Pierre : 2:40 PM

If you look carefully you can see the slight pinkening of her skin as she becomes irradiated by his orangeness

# posted by

gaz : 5:42 PM

It's like Nikki Sixx, Jafar, and Rambo's bicep all in one.

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:47 AM

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# posted by

bourne111 : 6:23 AM

Who the fuck is this clown? Adam Lambert's brother w/Hepatitis? Holy shit!!!!!!

# posted by

Patinwy : 9:25 PM

Thursday, October 22, 2009

The Poopaloompa

Hot Chicks with Douchebags Google Search:

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