Dear Ms. Purple Dress:

Please consider using more eye makeup. If you don't have stripes running from the corners of your eyes all the way to your ears, you've failed.

Sincerely,
Mr. White

p.s. Also consider choosing better male companionship.
 

Wrong douchbag is all wrong.

Similar look to original DB Greico is strong with this one.
 

I'd like to get all Froggy with Darla here as I spread my Farina across her Alfalfa patch.

Then we'd smoke a joint down to the Hal Roach and cuddle in a makeshift duct tape hammock of my own design.


Also, I wouldn't use a Jackie Condon on my jimmie 'cause she looks fairly clean to me (Thanks, 1970's for letting me use the word "Jimmie" ! I'll bring it back later).

And by fairly clean I mean she's probably only infested with the first half of the STDs medical reference book or maybe ever OTHER page ..
 

Did this cuntrag "forget" to take the price tag off of that cheesy $7 chain that he got from that stand in the mall?

Are those his masturbation gloves that he just took off before his "date" from Skanks-O'-Plenty got to the correct address?

Isn't he at all embarrassed about taking her down to that 18 year old couch in his parents basement?

WTF happened to his shirt? Couldn't his mom get the jizz out of it before he put it on?

Why am I so full of questions?

When will it end?

OK, I'll stop now.
 

Small inscription on male's necklace reads:

WARNING! I am a Douchebag, and am thus considered highly contagious! Keep a distance of no less than 100 miles from me!

Could it be? Is this the very first spotting of an actual 'bag tag? Say it is so!

I only have one small suggestion...can we make this inscription much larger? Say, perhaps a sandwich-board that 'bags must wear?

I would even offer my services to tattoo said warning upon their foreheads for donations only...

...and by donations I mean five minutes alone in the closet with striped makeup hotts who have low self esteem.

'cause I'm a philanthropist hornball like that.
 

Interesting Wiki entry on Carl Dean "Alfalfa" Switzer of "Our Gang" fame:


Prior to a hunting guide job, Switzer had borrowed a hunting dog from Moses "Bud" Stiltz. When the dog was lost, Switzer offered a $50 reward for the dog's return. A man found the dog a few days later and brought it to the bar where Switzer was working. Switzer paid the man $35 and bought him $15 worth of drinks from the bar. Several days later on January 21, 1959, Switzer and his friend Jack Piott decided that Stiltz owed Switzer the $50 paid to the man who found the dog. The pair allegedly arrived drunk at Stiltz's home in Mission Hills to collect the money Stiltz "owed" him.


He banged on Stiltz's front door, demanding, "Let me in, or I'll kick in the door."

Once Switzer was inside the home, he and Stiltz got into an argument. Switzer informed Stiltz that he wanted the money owed him, saying "I want that 50 bucks you owe me now, and I mean now."

When Stiltz refused to hand over the money, the two engaged in a physical fight. Piott allegedly struck Stiltz in the head with a glass-domed clock, which caused him to bleed from his left eye. Stiltz retreated to his bedroom and returned holding a .38-caliber revolver, but Switzer immediately grabbed the gun away from him, resulting in a shot being fired that hit the ceiling.

Switzer then forced Stiltz into a closet, despite Stiltz having gotten his hands back on the gun. Switzer then allegedly pulled a switchblade knife and screamed, "I'm going to kill you" and was attempting to stab him with it, but just as Switzer was about to charge Stiltz, Stiltz raised the gun and shot Switzer in the groin.

Switzer died of massive internal bleeding and was pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital



LOL
 

@ Jean Claude

"100 miles", I just got done running 100 miles.
 

Screw Spanky, I'm going back to six pound watch.
 

Alex the Producer convinced Jenna to wear too much eye makeup for the filming of her debut "gagging" video, knowing full well that a majority of that mascara would be running down her face in no time.

And Alex thinks that's f*cking hot.
 

I forgot my glasses today. Is that a dogtag hanging from his neck?

His father wouldn't even be old enough to be a veteran in Bush's current Gulf War.
 

What are these two scrotelings doing sitting on Plinky's mom's gangrenous left leg?
 

SUPER HOT STORY DEVELOPING IN: "Reader Mail: Contextualizing the Six Pound Watch"
 

That is not a dog tag. That is a whistle. When blown, it makes the curious, high-pitched mating call, known and heard only by homosexual wallaby's.

Whay he's wearing this, is open to your own interpretation.

How I know this is none of your damn business.
 

**Keanu Reeves' voice**

Whaaaay?

Whaaaaay.
 

Clearly he's a badass because he's about to date rape a 15 year old.
 

I'm still waiting Croosh dear for your ever so exuberant hot oil massage replete with Nambyan lute players and ten pounds of Vieux Boulogne.

For which I have pre-ordered 1000 barrels of Exxon's finest.

Hurry along dear...after reading your latest Harlequin addendum, my paraurethral ducts are ripe and filled to the brim.
 

Goddamnit, where's Butch to beat his ass?
 

I will happily live the remainder of my days knowing that Amanda will be unable to reproduce as Jimmy gave her the clap shortly after this picture was taken. Amanda lived the next four years relatively asymptmatic until finally going in for a pap smear, it was at that very visit that the gynocologist broke the terrific news, "Amanda, you filthy little slut, you are completely sterile as your falopian tubes have been ravaged for several years now by an otherwise easily curable sexually transmitted infection. You are a dim witted cunt and I will most assuredly gome home and reflective positively about your inability to further damage our planet with children that would carry your obviously idiotic genes."
 

I dunno guys, this little boy is kinda cute.
 

@Amanda

Does that mean your paraurethral ducts are ripe and filled to the brim too?

...or are you really a 57 year old sex offender?

Inquiring minds want to know.
 

1. The Bagpolean Complex

2. Bethany and The Gofuckyourself Twins

3. Fingerbag

3 hottest hotts of the week, so far.
 

Spanky? His hair looks more like Buckwheat's.
 

BOB SAGET!!!
 

These guys are all weak.
Mack & Poop have set the bar fairly high (low?) so maybe I'm getting--dare I say it--a modicum jaded.
 

HE CAN GO TO JOLLY PIRATES DONUTS AND TAKE A 2 HOUR SHIT FOR ALL I CARE
 

Buckwheat!
 

I can't seem to find her boobs, somebody help me?
 

Shaving off your eyebrows and repainting them with DuPont Imron makeup is SOOOO 1950, honey.

And Ravi there is lucky your mom is sleeping with Prince Valium right now, or he'd be in handcuffs in the back of a police car.

B-B-B-Bag To The Bone
 

(Spanky): If I told you that there was a mirror in your pants would you have sex with me?"

(Cindi) "Yes!!!"
 

shortly after this photo was taken, Spanky's parents walked in on his quality time with his sweetheart and congratulated him on his prize catch.

30 years down the road, Spanky may walk in on his own teenage son bagging up a high school cheerleader, only to congratulate his son on his prize catch.

30 years after that, World War 3 erupts and civilization is altered forever.

whoa where did that come from? i'm sure that's somehow relevant to this thread though.
 

@Amanda

Yuk
 

My word, such a delicious flat-chested fake blonde. I love that. I could spend hours tenderizing her with my Brobdingnagian Beefhammer.
 

Is his thumb an optical delusion or something? Or is it just fucked-up looking?

I need another binger.