Next week's Weekly winner.....?
 

Yes, they've come to fluff the rooster.
 

What's with all of the douchebag bathroom luv lately?

Have the Hots made a tectonic shift? They are still not free of the hypnosis of the bag accoutrements, but at least now they seek to quickly wash off right after contact? Or flush after contact??
 

Dear pink vixen. This is why you should always remember to courtesy flush...or it will come back to haunt you. By 'haunt' I mean turn into a revolting cock.
 

She is naughty and needs a spankin.
 

Before anybody tries to give this guy any kind of a pass for having the jewels to go for the full 'hawk, check out his pants. They're slung under his ass! Not just low on the cheeks, no. Entire ass exposed.

My left nut for a can of hair spray and a lighter...
 

quick put it back in the shitter!
 

Wow. What a douche!
 

I agree with Wheezer. The mandana/hawk combo is so douchie one almost wants to marvel at it's brilliant scrotal glow. I would tell pink cap to keep her head gear on her pretty petite person while I proceed to cover her private areas in pink snowballs and then make my way to the delicious cream fillings.
 

The SD stands for Super Choad, the paisleys for germs.

Fingers up and fingers down like that puts one in mind of a Tarot card. If you get this one in a reading it means you have three seconds until your head explodes.
 

Are his pants down because he is in the bathroom? Probably not. She is giving her reflection in the mirror the finger because she can't believe she is with this scrote.
 

Being an SD resident I will make sure if I see this little lass to stop her and explain doucheology 101...followed by drinks naked time at my house
 

DB1 I need further clarification of what all you variables mean. I think Mr. White should be the one to come up with an equation here seeing as this is his area.
 

he's sporting the face of determination -- not only is it not in, Paco, but the poor dumb bastard doesn't realize she still has her pants on...
 

That's the finger she uses to unclog him after all you can eat tamale night at Pancho's...
 

He looks just like the character Wez from "The Road Warrior."

Hey dipshit -- that flick came out in the 80s... and the look was old THEN!
 

He's got his arms wrapped around Poopaloompa.

ASvB
 

She's got Alana De La Garza eyes. I love Alana De La Garza.
 

He's going places.

ASvB
 

The showerhead is dirty, plese clean it with your Hawk.

ASvB
 

I was going to make some Native American jokes about this guy but I've got reservations.
 

Move your hand mohawk. I can't see her boobies.
 

He makes me want to buy all the ammo left at my local WalMart.

She makes my balls sweat.

Thank gawd for Freshballs.


Thank you Dr Frank Brookes.
 

Back from a great game of piñata, Pedro grabs his novia and tells her the story:

...So there I was, bat in my hand, blindfold over my eyes, and then W H A M ! ! ! ! I swung. I swung so hard, candy exploded out from the piñata.

Even though I am the oldest boy in the 4th grade, all kids think I'm cool.

Suzy Sanchez was happy to hear the story, and even happier to learn that Pedro brought her a candy.







ASvB
 

She's gonna make somebody a terrible wife someday.
 

SD stands for Super Douche.
 

WTF, his ass is non-existant. Is that why his belt is pointing South-East?

ASvB
 

Here she comes to fuck The Rooster...

*sigh*
 

Do you reckon when he is going down on her, his Hawk looks like a shark coming straight at her?

ASvB
 

Sock, I was wondering where the hell you where. Do you reckon his hair is thicker than her bush?

ASvB
 

There is some valuable advertising space available on either side of his head.

ASvB
 

Yeah, I think DB1 is playing fast and loose with some of his mathematical notation here. I don't know what the hell he's summing up there at the end...except, perhaps, sadness.

This is all made tougher by finding the probability of pink hats, which makes the notation a little more slippery, but let me define my terms:

We want to find P(p) = probability of pink baseball cap.

H = height of 'hawk

M = mandana height, expressed as distance below the crown of the skull; this will always be a positive real number, because I don't feel like dealing with negatives in this particular probability calculation.

Probability can't be greater than 1 (100%), which presents a challenge since DB1 has said that an exponential is involved, so let's do it this way:

P(p) = 1 - (1/exp(H*M))

Therefore, as H and M increase, the expression exp(H*M) rapidly increases, meaning that 1/exp(H*M) approaches zero, pushing the probability toward 1.

In this example: The hawk appears to be 9 inches, and the mandana is about 3 inches below the top of his head. (These are rough estimates.)

That gives us 1/exp(3*9) approximately equal to 0.0000000000019, a very tiny number, meaning that P(p) is nearly 100%.

As a side note, this equation suggests that the P(p) of pink hat becomes zero if either H, M, or both are zero. This is clearly not true, as there's always a non-zero chance of hoochie pink baseball cap. However, I don't feel comfortable putting forth a more complex formula at this point, which would account for universal P(p) calculations in any population, because DB1 has not indicated how other variables might affect this.

Also, I need to go to the supermarket before I get my drunk on, so I don't have time for this right now.
 

A theory such as this one really stands out head and shoulders above all the rest.

Yes, it sure does.
 

I'd like to give him a spiked punch in the head.

And to her, an essay on pink paper about, whatever , any old topic.
 

You know, DB1, this fauxhawk thingy has really infected the world we live in.

Even Farm Town on Facebook has fauxhawked creatures.
 

Douching it up betwixt dueling showers.

If douche = to wash and to wash = to shower, then 2 showers = double the douche
 

In my world, yonder temptress is a beautiful, velvet soft, protruding vulva, her teardrop face and cum-hither eyes a glistening, pearl-like clit of exquisite preportion bulging out from beneath a bright near-scarlet hood, topped by a narrowly shaven, black landing strip which points the way to the only place on earth that is heaven, and which is followed by a dark, putrid, moldering sewerhole adulterated with chunks of poo encased in twisted curly hairs, a streamer of paisley toilet paper festooned to a garrish carbunkle drifting too and fro in the rank exhaust drifting unceasing from it's puckered maw.

In my world we don't go near the sewerhole, even though God, in his infinite and incomprehensible wisdom, chose to put it within inches of that which is more precious than even my own life.
 

This banty rooster could be growing a headpiece to

a) match his codpiece

b) advertise for Fuller Brushes

c) fit under a tall head covering to wear in a nativity scene as one of the three wise men this Christmas

d) attract a furry piece of ass with a similar cut aka landing strip.
 

Von Baggerstein beat me to it, but that's clearly Poopaloompa in drag.

Or rather, this is his/her true identity, and she only dresses as a "man" on the weekends to chase suburban moms?
 

I don't know sign language, maybe one of you does. Is she calling him a "fuck up"?

His signing is more readily identifiable. Current sperm count, and direction it is heading.

Sad to say, these are fairly typical Charger fans. Breaks my fuccen heart. I see this shit daily in my beloved So Cal town.
 

OMG WHAT A DOUCHEBAG
 

So stupid...
 

Either this is an optical illusion, or that is the biggest head I've ever seen.

Ever.


Ever. Ever.







"He'll be cryin' his head to sleep on his huge pilla tonight!"
 

@ Filthy McBaggin' 4:03

Yes, it was an instant sighting, I know this future HOS well.

When I say "Well", I mean "Makes me vomit."

ASvB
 

Yeah, go ahead & laugh it up. You should see me hang drywall.
 

PREPARE TO BE RICK ROLLED















not really
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

I'm sure he is a nice guy. Yea right.

ASvB
 

Dear Pinky McSassyPants,
-and I say this as a man with ultimate compassion who will smack the sass right off a bitch's face-

Don't stick anything out at me that you don't want twisted round and jammed up your own tiny little bunghole, sweetie.

Yes I Have dated strippers before.

And to sum up, in the immortal words of Wayne Brady: "Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?!??"
 

Me + hoochie hott = unbelievable boring sex
 

When Mandanativity had that plate put in his head, there was sort of a "mistake" made in regrafting his scalp.....ummmmm, here's what they used.....
 

I'd like my pants back.
 

Once again, San Diego is keeping it douchey. I live in SD. We may have the edge on NJ on the number of douche per capita.
 

It is very simple. She is signaling his erect cock, he is signaling which direction it is headed into her. More like a theory of function, and his head is a disjunction.
 

Wholey inapropriate. Napalm, please.
 

Dunno if it matters at this stage, but unless this guy is first cousin to an alien autopsy case, this is a photoshop job for sure.
 

WHAT IS SHE DOING! There is major confusion here...he should be wearing the SD (small dick) pink hat and I think the bird thrown up means she wants to...shove her finger up his douchey ass? He is giving her the go ahead by the finger going down...see makes perfect sense!

My god I want to punch both these douche clowns in the face!
 

Not even Mr.Clean could help take care of that grimy bathroom. We're gonna need some fire.
 

after witnessing a certain conversation between Scroteophobic and Dr. Bunsen Honeydouche, i was sorely disappointed that i was not overwhelmed by a deluge of particle physics jokes (or, in this case, probability theory jokes) that would have washed right over my head.

fortunately, there is always Mr. White.
 

This post has been removed by the author.
 

@ ASvB 3:12 PM,

the TOILET is also dirty. twice as dirty, i might add. please clean it with the mandanahawk. with twice as much effort.
 

His heed looks like a arnge on toothpick.
 

LMAO @(B)lake Havasu.

Too bad he didn't have hawk chin pubes - that would make the formula:

D/b(ag)2 = (M/x + (H*y) Σ P*z)³

[that's cubed for extra expontentional douchiness]

Call it Schnozzle's h-c-p collorary.
 

has anyone else noticed how absurdly large the db's head is? conehead scrote?
 

Maybe he's got a head like that removable leaf table my grandparents had when I was a kid. He takes the mandana out and the top of his head drops like 3 inches.
 

I am not as eloquent as you DB1 so I will say it the way it is...f@#$ing idiots.
 

We never talk about the photographers. Yet, with steady hands and strong gag reflexes, they silently capture the souls of douches around the globe.
What horrid conversation led to this pose? How many steps backward were necessary in order to get the digusting mowhawk in the frame? Finally, what's that stain on the bag's shirt?

I've stared at this pic long enough for my dreams to start dying. Time to hit the casino...
 

@ Steve L 9:04

Her crotch is also dirty, from Mandanativity Infection.

ASvB
 

Quick, get a pic before my hair falls!

[click>
Got it!


Now, blow me while I shit!
 

Erin has a point - I have often wondered what chain of events led up to, say, simulated doggy-style in front of a refrigerator, or butt-peeing while Alecia stands at the sink?

The bathroom shots are especially disturbing - not bad enough they are in there pooing around, but someone followed them in with a camera?

I can here one of those Bud Light radio ads now:

Real American Heeeero!
Today we salute you, Mr. Camera-in-the-Bathroom Guy.
[Mr. Camera-in-the-Baaaathroom Guy!]
If it wasn't for you, the rest of the world would never know what heinous acts transpire when a douchebag and a bleeth venture behind closed doors.
[Fake dooooooggy-style and aaaaass slaps!]
It's only a matter of time before National Geographic gives you that oh-so-coveted title of "freelance" photographer.
[Turds on the front cover!]
So take a long drag off that Bud LIght, Mr. Camera-in-the-Bathroom Guy, because you deserve it.
[Mr. Camera-in-the-Bathroooooooom Guuuuuuuuuy!]
 

Put that 7' hawk on Bagpoleon, and they'd let him ride Space Mountain.
 

A Steve L. 9:00pm

Sorry about no geek jokes. Mondays and Tuesdays are busy teaching days for me. If you can raise Scroteophobic, I'm sure we can indulge you later.

I'll start. This could coould be employed by CERN at the LHC to sweep up all those particles they keep finding. I'll bet it is getting pretty messy in there.

As for Mr. White's equation, I think it is a masterful start. We just need to work in the spray-on tan factor and the bling constant. Once we do that, we may have a douche T.O.E.
 

dman it! not could coould but this guy could. Stoopid fingers!
 

You know. I've always wondered how they managed to keep their pants on when worn like that. is there a clip that attaches them to their boxers? maybe they wear modified suspenders under their shirt. Or do they just walk like they've been riding a horse for a week straight?

Inquiring minds want to know. Suggestions?
 

Holy shit worst hair cut ever flush this turd while your still in the bathroom
 

Dear Cat Hott,

I love you.

Now step aside so you don't get burned when I blaze that douche with a flamethrower.

--Medusa
 

On the upside, at least he actually shaved the sides of his head instead of doing the fauxhawk.

On the downside, he's still a douche.
 

@ Biggins

Ask Urkel
 

Why is this ass flipping off his arm or is he showing us where his boyfriend infected him with the Grieco virus?
 

I know this chick. You can catch her any Saturday night at the nearest rave party. Loves her ecstasy..... And I love her!
 

This can't be real. Look at the size of his head. He looks like a Conehead.