Thursday, November 05, 2009

 

Bagpoleon Strikes Back


HCwDB of the Week winners The Bagpoleon Complex and Josephine respond to the community with erudite clarity:

----
YEAHHHHH WOOO HOOO YOU I WANT TO THANK YOU ALL FOR MAKING ME FEEL SO GOOD ABOUT MYSELF...

YEAH THAT ME ALEX MIJARES!!!! REMEMBER IT!

WOW YOU TOOLS MADE MY DAY!!! KEEP WRITING I WANT TO TAKE UP THE WHOLE BLOG!!

----

And a few moments later, his hott chimes in:

----
i dont understand why u guys gotta talk so much shit.. This guy is f*cking hot... i think all of u gotta look in the mirror before talking..... stop hating ppl!! why cuz hes got a hot body n u dont? ooohhh wait is cuz hes got the hot girl and u cant get near anythin like that right!!! EXACTLY
----

Oh no I di'int.

I believe I was just made to talk to the proverbial hand.

EDIT: Bagpoleon has posted his phone number in the comments threads and requests that people talk shit to him in person. 305-(edit: phone number appears to be a fake, sorry Miguel).

Comments:
Did 'Bagpolean grow or is he on stilts? Josephine looks less hot so I have only choked the chorizo twice to this pic so far.
 
Wow, in your fucking face DB1.
 
^No. She's standing in the kiddie pool.
 
Bagpolean, dude you got me sold. Josephine is definitely smokin' and caused a considerable stir on this site.

Excuse me, while I shave my groin.
 
GODDAMMNIT I'm blind! Give me some warning next time! If those pants were any lower his crabs would need umbrellas. Sheesh.
 
hhahahaha i love it!! keep it coming... best site ever keep it up i can send you more if you guys want!

alex mijares- aka (bagpoleon)!!!!
 
Bagapoleon is really nick-named Rusty_Trumpet...
he is the king of butt hole.. fact!
 
Six Guys, four girls, nine brain cells. You do the math.
 
that would you mr. sinnerich (rusty trumpetier)
 
i would like to request some pov shots of josephine? maybe an angry pirate or donkey punch shot too?
awesome. thx bro!
 
If you read Josephine's email in Fran Drescher's voice, your nuts will claw their way back into your abdomen.
 
this is me on halloween: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/photo.php?pid=39117651&id=18713633
 
Bagpolean...is it true that if you leave Nair on your sack too long you're children will be hairless pygmies?
 
mr. sinnerich !!!!your an idiot!!!
 
*your
 
call me to talk shit also: 3054956265
 
Alex, allow me to introduce you to this little guy:

";"

That is called a semicolon. It is put between two independent clauses in a sentence that are not connected by a coordinating conjunction such as "and," "but," or "or."

Ask your girlfriend to explain it to you. She might have a better grasp on punctuation and grammar than...

...oh. Never mind.
 
Hey Alex, do you have any pictures where we don't have have our eyes bruised by your Area?
 
Ahahaha, and he works for a place called "Racks Unlimited"! Could life be more prophetic?!
 
Here's a picture of Alex as he prepares for the monthly.
 
alright, come on, everyone calm down. Bagpolean: you are a douchebag but you got the hottest girl, so chill. Everyone else: we wish we had bagpolean's girl, we don't, but at least can pull up our pants and don't spray paint fake 6 packs.

-crazy-sexy-douche
 
Josephine,

Why did you have to write in? You just totally ruined it. Your misguided use of the ellipsis is a pathetic way of trying to make what you're writing seem intelligent when the words between your five dots speak to the contrary.

I will file your smoking hotness under "V" for Vapid Twat. I wish you the best, but I wash my hands of you. Good day.
 
I know Alex. He's a welder that works for his Daddy. And the ultimate douche. What he doesn't know is that his girl has been blowing a guy at a bar they go to a lot. How do I know this? I'm him. How's my d*ck taste Alex?

Snoochie Douches
 
Major props to Alex for not demanding a pull down. It takes stones to stay in the fight.

On the flip side, we would all like to request a pull up on your part. Dude, low riding shorts is for fat plumbers and your smoking hot girlfriend. Could you have her turn around for us? I'm betting her ass is as tight as her chest.
 
really? do i care if a hot chick has a full grasp of the english lexicon before i decide to worship her starfish?......no
 
Alex Darling:

Please pull your shorts down a little farther in the next photo.
And lose the girly. Our club is more interested in you, oh shaven one.
 
Josephine,

Don't.....tell.....Alex.....
but.....I.....think.....you.....
have.....a......smoking.....hot
.....body.

I'm.....guessing.....it's.....
from ......the.....hard.....workout.....
you.....follow.....every.....
day.....doing.....1000.....
daily.....right.....ring.....
finger.....crunches.....on.....
the.....keyboard.

Jesus, I'm already wiped. How do you do it?
 
I notice a trend. Without exception, the Bags speak in ALL CAPS, and offer exactly what you'd expect in terms of grammer and punctuation. The Hotts on the other hand speak in all lower case, same shitty punctuation and grammer.

What the fuck?!? Have U.S. schools uniformly failed that badly throughout the U.S.? Oh, and if that truly was Josephine, then I'd still like to get her nuded up...So that I could drop a steamy coiler on her chest. She just went from what was probably a solid 9 down to a 5.

Oh, and Bagpolean: you're short. Very short. Very, very short. You're sporting a groin shave and oddly configured "art work" on your chin. You're wearing wrist-bands, rosary beads, a fedora, and giant pink sunglasses.

Seriously, read that accessory list again. It almost sounds as absurd as it looks. Two years ago, one would have had to see it to believe that I wasn't making it up.

Honestly dude, your look will be the equivalent of being immortalized in a photo from 1985, where the subject is wearing a neon mesh shirt, red parachute pants, with white Air Jordans and a sequined glove on one hand.

Congratulations. You're right, your shaved abs make up for all of it. You and Josephine win all the way. It's we who are the losers.

Thanks for making me realize that.
 
Alex,
Don't look now but the douche standing right behind your girlfriend has his shorts down really low.

Wait, never mind. The douche behind him has his shorts all the way off.

Explains the two extra guys.

Props for being tolerant.
 
This post has been removed by the author.
 
hey Alex,
You should sign up for our website: www.manhunt.net

You won't be a douche there, you'll be a star.
 
Josephine,

Can you tell your hot girlfriend in the pink and brown top that Roller Disco called and they'd like their gold shorts back.

Thanks much.
 
by now, it should be painfully obvious why DB1's show tends to be regarded as less inspiring than the HCwDB site itself. a photograph of a hottie and a douchebag sitting next to a consummate deliverance of immaculate prose is a great combination. the minute the photographed people open their mouths or puts their fingers on a keyboard, everything is fucking ruined. unfortunately, that is precisely a necessary element of the HCwDB show. that is why it takes a real bag hunter to even watch the show.
 
Wow. Picking a fight with the entire population of a site that is, by its design, certain to attract a population that lives for just such activity. And to top it off, dashing off an angry, poorly written and misspelled diatribe guaranteed to elicit ridicule. You obviously both put a lot of thought into that one.

Sharp as a marble, Alex.
 
Honestly dude, your look will be the equivalent of being immortalized in a photo from 1985, where the subject is wearing a neon mesh shirt, red parachute pants, with white Air Jordans and a sequined glove on one hand.

~i'd still rock that!
 
It is better to remain silent, and have people wonder if you are a fool, than to speak, and remove all doubt.
 
i rove bewbs!
 
I can attest that I have inspected all of the fun bags within this group and can certify them as all grade-AAA, top shelf American booby pillow. They passed the Double Fisted Upsydownsy, Charles Barkley Palm and Lift, Pasadena Motorboat Nom Nom, Cleavage-to-Armpit Sag Ratio, and the Repetitive Nipple Poke Rebound Metric.

If anyone is interested in reviewing the security video please submit a Freedom of Information Act request.

In addition I attest that I have inspected the six douchebags in this photograph and can certify them all as soft, runny poo.
 
i rove bewbs!
 
stupid brogger.
 
Please provide your address as well. I prefer to talk shit in person.
 
Good for him to stay in the fight and not having DB1 take the pics down. But really man you're a douche.
 
BRING IT BIATCH!!!
 
http://www.racksunlimited.com/tour_01.php

Scroll to the bottom of the page.

The Senator doesn't know how to hyperlink.
 
@Scrotato, 3:45 p.m. -

Don't they want her top returned as well?

Oh wait, perhaps that's just me. I think the other hotts need to return their "clothing," too. And the guys have to go along with that. Yeah, just leave the gals in the photo. Naked.

(swoons a bit at that image)

BRB.....
 
Oh and I voted for white triangle. They should have won the weekly.
 
All of you are so pathetic. You must have great lives if you're spending all of your time hating on someone you don't even know. I have hooked up with Alex before and can honestly say that what he may lack in height he definitely makes up for underneath those low riding shorts! He can wear or not wear whatever he chooses and still have girls all over him at all times. He is awesome so shut the f*ck already!!

Hope all is well Alex

- nip ;)
 
Hahahahah!!!

Ya'lls just jealous! Right after this pic was taken I tongue-darted the ass of a homeless man because he said I was the cutest midget he'd ever seen!

alex mijares- aka (bagpoleon)!!!!
 
What's the over/under on how long Alex's phone number remains turned on?
 
I feel that phonetically, Cuntch is harsher sounding than Bint, if by Bint, you mean Bitch+Cunt, and by Bint you unfortunately mean Josephine.

Now where is the inventor of the clocky when I need a cute chick who's also smart?

clocky girl? clocky girl? -where you at?
 
Say Hello to Alex Mijares- Director of Sales & Marketing - AND CAPITILIZATION - AND TAKING UP WHOLE BLOGS
 
My cock has never been erect and I've never satisfied a woman!

alex mijares- aka (bagpoleon)!!!!
 
Why oh why am I not surprised that the 305 is a Miami Beach area code?
 
Dorothy once gave me head on her way to see The Wizard of Oz. She said she just loves us munchkins. Unfortunately Dorothy to be a black transsexual named Leroy, but it's all good!

alex mijares- aka (bagpoleon)!!!!
 
I'm not even gonna call that number cause he can't possibly be that dumb to leave his real number....can he?
 
Hmm... I had a chance to creep bagpoleon, and my my my that boy is phat. Bagpoleon, if you are reading this, I know you are able to dress well and compose yourself like a gentleman. Just lose the stupid sunglasses and hat and bling. Oh - and pull your pants up a bit - have some class and save that shit for the bedroom.
 
Re: the number.....

Well, it seems real enough.
 
@Anon ^4:07

I'm sure he is awesome.

Awesome at spotting spiderwebs under the coffee table

Awesome at not hitting his head when he walks under said coffee tables

Awesome at looking up women's skirts

Awesome at taking the stairs one at a time

Awesome at jumping up to flip the lights on and off

Awesome at giving oral sex while he and his partner are standing up

And awesome at 68'ing (TM DarkSock)


Jesus, I'm so jealous. S'cuse me while I go get the chainsaw. Got a couple inches I need to chop off.

I never was good at shutting the F*ck. I prefer opening it as wiiiiiide as possible.
 
Ah the 305....made famous by many a douche before him. Many Miami douches will yell "Threee OOOOOO Fiiiiive!" like that gives them special douche powers. Totally not surprised
 
What the hell happened here?

Oh. I see. Carry on.

Heh heh.
 
about leaving his number....so he is that fuckin stupid? Wow what an ass clown, it's like David Duke leaving his number to the Wu Tang Clan
 
Ah Jeff, you short, muscled-up fuck.

Hey, I'm right there with you, I'm 5'9" (that's certainly not tall), and like you, have a nicely developed six-pack and otherwise very toned physique. There is something to be commended about having a well sculpted body, it takes a lot of hard work and discipline.

For that, congrats.

However, your complete disregard for the English language, not to mention childish swipes at attention, not only insults every fitness enthusiast who has also taken the time to develop an adequate understanding of the English language, but to every man, woman, or child who has ever taken the time to hold down the shift key to properly capitalize a word instead of lazily turning on caps lock and spewing forth a barrage of ill developed statements.

You are a complete moron. Complete. You enjoy some degree of fourth degree celebrity in your home town, where ever the fuck that may be, and hey, enjoy it.

It won't last pal. It never does. And while you're out spending Daddy's money, trying to exude a lifestyle you obviously can't support, your peers will be leaving you behind. They will go to school, work their way through their professions, and live an even maturing and rewarding lifestyle.

But you will be static. They will leave but you will remain, remain in a place only recognizable by time wasted and opportunities lost. You are a nobody. Your name will be forgotten and no one will even wonder what happened to you, you'll just be that stupid douchebag that we all laugh about.

And they will laugh. Loudly. At your expense. Because there isn't anything quite as funny as some fuckwit dickstain that's so self absorbed and retarded that he can't recognize his withering window of opportunity and is forced to live the rest of his life rotting away in his hometown like a pile of white dog shit. You are simply that. A rotting mound of lumpy poo. Smelly poo.

And that's funny. Very funny. To all of us. So I appreciate your enthusiasm in regards to us mocking your pathetic need for attention.

Carry on fag.
 
I got them words in my head again - CADILLAC BUMPER BULLETS!
 
Interesting that he chose another photo of himself and Josephine where the height issue is "corrected," isn't it?

But I'll give him props for at least having some fun with his "arrival," though the comments on his Facebook page make it seem that having "haters" is what it takes. Two of them commented 10 minutes apart to wonder why we "have nothing better to do with our time" - yeah, essentially the same comment.

Oh well.
 
This post has been removed by the author.
 
Why, why can't I get chicks like this? Why? Why? Oh God, why?!?!?
 
Where are the Halloween piccys?

This douche bores me.

Next!!
 
DB1:

Is this how guys audition for the TV show? Just asking.
 
===== FACEBOOK UPDATE =====

Since he was so kind as to willingly post his personal information: http://www.facebook.com/racksunlimited.....

He just took down the Wall posts he made about his appearances here.

I imagine takedown requests for here are forthcoming.....
 
ya'all ar just hatrs!!! F*ck off n die!!!!!!!!! Alex is the best lay anyone could ever have.
 
*wink wink*

Some Reg must have had a day off today.
 
@ Mr. Scrotato Head

You forgot:

Look up to tie his shoes.

Hopping rides to work on flies.

Winning at hide-and-seek by staying under a thimble

mastering the intricacies of the sippy cup

Yelling "De plane! De plane!" when he goes to the airport

Being the only person to use a booster seat at the movies

Having Josephine carry him around in her mini toy dog bag

Being pissed off at Josephine for hiding his Froot Loops on top of the refrigerator

Getting his hair cut with bonzai scissors

Planning that lawsuit against the makers of HGH

being able to leap nanocrystals in 1.5 bounds

Still getting his shoes in the kids department at Wal-Mart

I'm sure there's more but I gotta get the fuck out of here...
 
It doesn't surprise me that he really DOES have a Bagpolean complex but who knew that he was a sociopath? Or that his good looking lady friend was BUTT STOOPID?
 
Hahahhaahah,
The'lil guy just called me back. I don't care how you do it in OZ fuck face.
 
Looks like Josephine has her hand up his ass, maybe she's a ventriloquist and he's just a big dummy.

See what I did there?

It is kinda nice that someone put some phone books on to stand on though.
 
If we into account his tendency to pull his pants way too down and aggressive groin shaving, our Bagpolean is surely fit to command a Grande Armée of douches.

On the other hand, he has put up his real name, facebook and additional pic (sadly, a solo), which shows he has the stones to laugh all this off. So good on ya

The real Conspiration- des-poignards dirtbag in all this is the Anon guy above who seized the opportunity to claim he is getting blown by Josephine on the sly. C'est un vrai con
 
I just looked at SSS's facebook link and the 'lil guy is actually friends on FB with one of the hottest hotts I have ever met. Nice try Yoda McBaggins good luck when you come up to their waste.
 
Got a Randy Newman song stuck in my head.
 
From his FaceBook, he seems to be an OK guy. I do believe wearing his grandfather's hat, and his sister's glasses makes him look like a douche.

Alex, lose the hat and glasses, and you will lose the douche identity.

ASvB

P.S. Nice hotts, props to ya.
 
^^Wrangler...
Is it "I love L.A.?"
 
^^Wrangler...
Is it "You've Got a Freind In Me?"
 
@Wedgie
"we love it!"
 
Josephine,

This message is for you and you only. Although, now that I think about it, everyone on the planet that has access to the internet will have the capability to read it. So I guess you really aren't that special.

Moving on...

Josephine you are stunning. There is no denying it. I do not think that anyone would dispute that fact. Here is the issue, honey. Your situation, and by "situation" I mean the current state of assumed "relations" you have had or are having with Mr. Bagpoleon, is quite possibly the most frustrating thing that men witness in life. You see, Bagpoleon is not a man. Sure, he has ripped abs and can probably bench press 225 lbs, but can he turn a rusty bolt? Can he change the oil in his truck? Can he hang a shelf? For fuck's sake, can he even change a lightbulb? My assumption, which is solely based on the pink sunglasses and skin tone that matches yours, is that No, he can't.

What you need to ask yourself, Josephine, is this; "Is this person a Man?" When you ask this question several sub-questions should follow, almost in a "checklist" fashion.

1) Does he know how to load a shotgun?
2) Can he rotate the tires on my vehicle?
3) Is there hair on his chest?
4) If my washer, dryer, or any other appliance in my home break, can he fix them?

This next question, however, is the big one. If the answer to this question is "No", then you have found yourself a boy, not a man.

Josephine, do you poop? While no one wants to admit that you, the beautiful creature you are, actually defecates like the rest of us, you do and we all know it. The question, then, is this; If, no when, you take a Yankee Stadium sized shit, wipe one too many times, and your toilet turns into your worst enemy, is the person you call "boyfriend" going to walk his ass into that bathroom and wrestle with the komode until your shit, your homemade hamburger helper, has began its journey to no mans land?

Bagpoleon, my dear, will not.
 
What an asshat...


Oh, and chicks who think they're hot, are not hot.
 
This guy doesnt seem so bad. No garish tats, only minor bling and he has pulled a major hot. Good for him.

Keep up the good work Alex.
 
@ Anon 5:13

Bravo.

"Yankee Stadium sized shit."

HAHAHAHAHAHA. Well played sir.
 
This douchebag doesn't realize I get up VERY early every day. I will be happy to call him each morning and talk shit. Cock-a-doodle is YOU Bagpolean.
 
Hey Alex - I have a suggestion: pull your fucking trousers up
 
^MC 900

I have to adjust the over/under line on that phone number lasting more than a day, thanks to you.
 
Only 14 more comments until THAT MUTHAFUCKA comes in.
 
though i can only take so many compliments... i am tired of hearing the same comments over and over again. the originality level has dropped. it was rather entertaining though to see so many people write, and with such great grammar, so much crap. what i do want to know is where you pulled the original image from?
 
This post has been removed by the author.
 
Alex, you know steroids are bad, do you?
 
an no that is not my number not sure who posted it.
 
You can tell she's bending her knees in order to make herself look shorter (or make him look...taller). Being only 5-2, I can't tell you how often this happens when girls takes pictures with me. Personally I hate it. It's like they automatically assume I have a problem with girls being taller than me. At only 5-2, I had to learn to accept it. Now if I was say, 5-7 or 5-8, THEN maybe I wouldn't mind them giving me a leg up (literally lol).

Anyway, the guy's a douche. However as a short guy who works out as well, I can understand where he coming from. Groin shave reveal on the other hand....
 
wedgie why is my picture your blog profile pic?
 
DOUCEH: http://www.cifc365.com/news/show.php?id=543&type=21
 
No idea.
 
What's the point of colored shades?
 
100?
 
Anonymous
 
Don't get all leagl on me.
 
Let me guess, the only reason you wear that stupid hat is because the chicks tell you you kind of look like Jason Mraz.
 
Nice shorts, do they come in men?



Hehe...
 
Hey, shut the fuck up!
 
Alex. Pull your fucking pants up. You look like an idiot.
 
Alex:

You clueless nimrod.

Do you think that the interweb thingie is your private playground?

You're a fucking retard.

First: all those pictures of you and Josephine - the entire world gets to see what you look like and mock you for being the douchebag you were always meant to be.

And this is NOT talking about the images on this site, but the images where this site got them. You see, that's the wonderful thing about the interweb thingie - anything on it is available for viewing and you have ZERO control over what people think of it.

So, when a site such as this seizes upon some indiscretion of the universe you call your "lifetyle", you have no control over our reactions. And if we all feel like calling you nature's answer to microcephalic mole rats, that's our prerogative, dig?

So, when you come blasting in here and spew illiterate nonsense at us, you haven't done anything except prove to the world that you're a dumbass, because anyone can read this page and see your jejune spewage.

So kindly go choke yourself and hope and pray your employers don't do regular searches on your name, you fucking idiot.
 
Amen brother Troy, amen.
 
You nasty people leave my Jason be; he's a nice boy. A little light in the loafers, listens to Boy George, and has picture of a fist ramming head on into a bunghole, but still nice.

By the way, that's not his girlfriend, that's his big sister.

Mom
 
Sounds like my son.
 
Troy you are my hero. And 'lil guy, I am trolling between Ludlow and Orchard right now.
 
111.
 
He doesn't have employers, he is the VP of the company you fucking morons. It's cute that you all are trying to make fun of him to make yourselves feel superior, but all you are doing is amusing him. I hope you guys are enjoying yourselves, it seems like this is the most action you have had in a while.

- nip
 
This whole thing is bullshit.

Poopaloompa is still gonna kick his ass in the monthly. All the campaigning in the world won't change that inevitable outcome.

Orange is the color of victory.
 
Too bad Fox cancelled "Studs". You're just a day late and a dollar short, Alex. Pardon the pun.
 
My wife is hot, so like my balls oompa loompa!
 
nip = haha thanks... hope all is well
 
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Nip sounds like Jeff's fluffer.
 
Meanwhile, in the background, the Acme Giant Orange Nipple Factory’s® assembly line ambled along in open defiance of the fledgling economy.
 
You look like Scott Farkus. Any "money" you may make is tainted in 'lil guy.
 
That's not his number we called a couple of times from different numbers but it matches up to another guy name Miguel and he has no idea who alex is..someone post his real number here Cmon let's call his douch bag up
 
Jeff is the VP of Rectal Rooters Inc.

The first international rim job company, "servicing" twenty four countries on six different continents.

Alex was recently praised by the founder and current CEO of Rectal Rooters Inc, a Mr. Joseph Porsche, "Alex is my go to guy, a real bro that always puts the company first. When we've got a leaker or otherwise nasty motherfucker who needs their anus seriously licked, only one man comes to mind, Alex Mijares. He is the past, present, and future of butthole licking. The consumate pro, believe me, I've gotten a few freebies, that's one-of-a-kind rectal pleasure."

Mr. Mijares was glad to provide a brief quote for the story, "WOOO! I LICK ANUS LIKE A MOTHER FUCKIN BALLA. I MADE OVER 32K LAST YEAR AND I SPENT EVERY DOLLA ON ROIDS AND ROOFIES!!!! YEAH BITCHES!!"
 
hahahahhahahahahahahahahaha

I love how they always say we can't get hot girls. My wife is fucking gorgeous and I love fucking her, which I do nearly on a daily basis :-D

Also, is it a coincidence that every fuckfaced douchebag that writes in failed English? Nope.
 
@Publius 3:18 PM

Two colons discussing half a colon? I don't think so.

@Troy 6:08

Please show the appropriate respect to mole rats, which -- speaking of Bagpolean -- look like little peckers.
 
Damn, David Faustino needs to lay off the juice. Being buff is not going to get you back into the Hollywood limelight, so you should just go snort some blow with Willie Ames, partner.
 
Some VP!!!!

http://www.mjmmfg.com/contactus.php

Alex: Daddy can be vice pwesident of your company? Pwease!!!

Daddy Mike: Only if you don't embarrass me on the internet with your groin shave and pink fedora.

Alex: I'll try, but sometimes people just hate on me.



SOOOOOO, anyway, I think a way to get Alex on the phone would be to call him at work!!!

MJM Manufacturing: 305-625-342 ext 203

or call his dad, Michael at ext 201

I'm sure he'd like to hear what a groin-shaved douche his son is.
 
Well....???
 
Well....???
 
PULL UP YOUR PANTS!
 
Took a sick day, guys.....so, did I miss anything?
 
@D.S.

Whyyyyyy yeeewwwwww!
 
Re: posting work/personal info, crank calls to # presumed to be real etc.,etc.

= IMO Stalker-tard bush league bullshit not worthy of the dignity and sublime majesty of HCwDB. Takes the fun right out of dis thing of ours
 
Actually, He's spot on with me. I'm a miserable failure at life and regularly spend my days alternating between crying in silent rage and slicing Barbie Doll heads into neat quarters. Women wouldn't pee on me if the only clean toilet was hanging around my neck. Good call Alex; you win this one.
 
Big gulps huh?
 
I went to the Rack's Unlimited site and scrolled to the bottom. Jeez. Instead of "Say Hello to Alex Mijares- Director of Sales & Marketing" may I suggest instead

SAY HELLO TO MA L'IL FRINN!!!

Omfug's right; if the little shit's dumb enough to post his real name don't prank call his work. His co-workers already have nepotism to deal with; they don't need our snickering asses on line 4.
 
"SAY ALLO TARMAL IL FRINN!!"
 
I cannot wait for the Haiku tomorrow morning.

Fucking Maker's Mark rules!
 
WOW YOU BRITISH TOOLS MADE MY DAY! KEEP FIGHTING, I WANT TO TAKE UP THE WHOLE CONTINENT!

- Napoléon Bonaparte, just after the siege of Toulon
 
Last week I took a dump in Alex's smiling mouth.




Afterwards he had the biggest shit eating grin that I've ever seen.
 
Let me continue....

Bagpoleon is great at....

Scratching the dog's belly while both parties are standing up.

Changing the oil in a Miata, also while standing up.

Shaving Billy Barty's choad.
spaying and neutering Miniature Pinschers.


@ Josephine:
I've had more hot chicks than 'Bagpoleon has had hot meals. And I did just look in the mirror before I talked. Damn, I got me some fine-ass tits. And, I'm 5'3" and I'm still 6 inches taller than your boyfriend, har dee har.

Speaking of which, if you see him, send him back around. I set my drink on top of his head, I thought he was an end table.
 
how are midgets in bed? I bet it hurts your knees to get down and suck his little man cinnamon stick, josephine. Let me know when you want something other than a cinnamon toast crunch wafer in your vagina. Please feel free to give me a call.

303thatsanegativeghostrider
 
douchebag video lol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IESAu7hvzJQ
 
Recently, while on a trip to Uzbekistan in search of chocolate coated alpacas, two gold encrusted eucolyptis leaves, spices mixed by a one legged Tibetan Sherpa and the secret recipe of battered gafilte fish , I stumbled upon Bagpolean still searching for the magic elixur that would rid him of his terrible vertically challenged affliction.
After considering a courteous greeting I smacked Bagpolean in his kissy douche face, nibbled on a jelly baby and led my finely worn boots straight to the back of this choads head. As he mumbled smatterings of hots recently violated by his porky fingers, I grabbed a pot, planted Bagpoleon with an authoritive slam and relieved myself into his hat.
 
Hey guys, what'd I miss?

Oh. Really? Director Sales & Marketing, eh? Explains a lot.

I'm goin' back to bed and I'm stayin' there until Friday ass pear.
 
Wow. Their comments totally changed my opinion of this unfortunate coupling. From the original Bagpoleon photo, I thought she was some shy, exotic Brazilian hott who didn't realize she could do better than this douchebag. Now I just feel bad for Bagpoleon. This is the highlight of his life. He's not even orange in the second photo. And Josephine sounds like she's just another beach skank. Bagpoleon, eventually you will find real friends and leave the beach-douche scene behind. Godspeed!
 
Hahahahaha.

This comment thread is legendary I fucking nearly pissed my pants reading it.
 
$10 says that if we (can) get the New York Times to call MJM's office, they will

a) stay mum for a few days

and then

b) issue press release declaring that no MJM employee had ever engaged in all-caps typing or excessive use of exclamation marks.

meanwhile, daddy's little VP will be told to stay away from the press and electronic communication devices in general until he passes high school English. i imagine that, in order to make it understandable for Bagpolean, the instructions will have to (have to) look / sound something like this:

YO U FUCKED UP BIG TIME!1!!! LAY LOW TIL DIS SHIT BLOWS OVER YA HEER?!1?!!?1!?!

hey, i have limits when it comes to the kind of stupidity i can imitate.
 
I guess Bagpoleon changed his Facebook settings - now his own photo address from his 3:15 p.m. post (the 12th post on this thread) goes to some generic Facebook message page.

So much for his "bravery" in the face of our mocking. I imagine he'll be "filin" a Colt Curtis-inspired lawsuit anytime now.
 
Oh well, my woody for Josephine is now lost. Why did she have to open up her stupid mouth?
 
Alex, I'm happy for you and imma let you finish...but Donkey douche had the best blogger beat down of all time... OF ALL TIME
 
what the fuck and I saying....

FISHSLAP had the greatest blogger beat down of all time... OF ALL TIME!!
 
All I can say is...

"Skib-a-dee, Skib-a-dajer...Id like to fornicate her"
 
Alex,

Please turn your girl around, snap a shot and send it in.

You see, today's asspear Friday and it's a big deal around here...
 
305 area code. thats miami. home of the uber-douche.
 
Wow. Looks like Bagpolean had his Waterloo. And by Waterloo I mean crabs.
 
Josephine,

There's more to life than muscle bound meatheads, short guys, and guys who got their job only because their daddy owns the company. If you want a real man (and awesome less humid weather in California) with a great job and ivy league degree, feel free to drop me a line.

Charles
 
This thread was epic.

The egregious use of the ellipsis happens to be one of my biggest pet peeves. It seems as though people (sic) believe that somehow its use translates to an extra long pause in speech, where in truth, it's the omission of words from a sentence. I can imagine that the simple brain of the everyday person (read: idiot) believes that by adding excess punctuation they are somehow adding more feeling to their writing. In fact, not only do they not add more feeling to their writing, but make themselves out do be complete idiots on the intelligence level of a retarded marmot.

I would have sex with every girl in that picture.
 
aww what it was like to be 23,, course i wasnt a vinegar sac and i realized there was more to life than big sunglasses and cheesy hats but who am i to say.
 
Odds are, Bagpolean has never won a game of teatherball in his life.

His Mom still pushes the sweets to the back of the counter so he can't reach them.

And yet Josephine loves him because he won the Miami Beach limbo contest 2 years straight.

I'm guessing he isn't wearing a shirt because Kids R Us was out of giraffe sizes...
 
and observation,, its a 2009 blog,, no one gives a fk about grammer any more, let it go
 
Apparently Charlie, you're as smart as the douchebags pictured here.

People who don't care about "grammer" are usually incapable of grasping simple concepts like "addition."
 
is being a fugly hobbit a prerequisite for having a "hot body"?

perhaps I should type in all caps too, and wear a gay ass hat so vapid whores (that need to eat a sammich badly) can defend my honor on a blog.
 
I was going to nominate Josephine for hall of hott, but I'm not sure an illiterate shrew has the same allure. I'll still spank it to the original copy of her picture, however, the one where I whited out all trace of Bagpoleon.
 
I wonder if Bagpoleon is bragging right now because of all the hits to Daddy's website. I mean, he is the Director (not VP, Nip!) of S&M at Daddy's company.

HAHAHAHA!!! Yeah, right! Like Bagpoleon knows how to read web stats!!! HAHAHAHA

And, seriously, Alex... Being a Director of S&M for a REAL company (not my daddy's), I want to give you a couple of tips... Button your shirt, lose the ginormous watch and put something on your desk so it at least LOOKS like you actually do work there! The Google homepage on your monitor just shows that you are searching... It doesn't show that you have any direction.

Oh... And pull your pants up. I know they're kinda' big... But you can cinch 'em if you need to.
 
Besides spoiling my spank-a-thon, this comment thread has made me sensitive about working for my Daddy's company. I mean I've been here 28 years, longer than this choad has been alive, and now MY son is going to come into the family business. You people are hurting my feelings, lumping me in with hobbit-like groinshaves. I'll have you know I've never known a single nepotist in my life who shaved his groin, until now.
 
btw, if you want to shit talk him in person try this number:

305-620-7099

Request a job selling server racks and make sure you sound legit for like 3 minutes so you can waste as much of his time as possible.

When you're done, fax a picture of your junk laying on a printout of his "girl" to this number:

305-625-3342
 
Wow, I am impressed, you came down on Alex hard, fast and dirty, just like I would like to come down on Josephine.

Really, I thought that you insisted too much about the fact that he is short. No mercy with the douche, but why pick on him because he's short?
 
GET OFF MY BOY PEOPLE, SORRY HES LIVING YOUR FANTASY, YOUR ADOLESCENT MINDS CANNOT FATHOM THE STORIES THIS YOUNG MAN HAS ENCOUNTERED IN HIS LIFE, BUT SHITTING ON YOURS IS JUST ANOTHER WALK IN THE PARK...

TF LOVE

-Z
 
Priceless.
 
He's living my fantasy? Really?

Having a lightsaber duel with a T-Rex over ownership of a lifetime's supply of bacon?
 
Alex looks really good here, does anyone know where i can get a date with this guy?????
 
www.BAMF.com
 
does that stand for Bad ass mo fo??
 
I guess Bagpoleon is wearing Josephines high heels?
 
Josephine is still extremely hott to look at.

One recalls the reaction of numerous moviegoer when the silents became the talkies and they heard awful audios come from fetching faces.

Yes, some things never change.

Bagpoleon is now more full of himself than a Fuller Brush salesman, and half again as bristly. This is very peculiar in that he has the Groin Shave.
 
Z,

Check the Colorado Atomic Clock on right most Douche's wrist. Unless Alex sees fit to post a few more mock-worthy photos, his 15 minutes of fame on HCwDB are essentially over. Most everyone is already off your boy's back.

Your boy has a shot at the monthly, but honestly, Josephine lowered his chances significantly when she fired off her empty-headed broadside. This is after all Hot Chicks with Douchebags, and her ridiculous text has turned off many who considered her obscenely hot.

If he loses, he's forgotten. If he wins, well then, tack a couple minutes on old Big Ben Watch there and we'll see if Alex can pull off a miracle and win either the Yearly or some other category. His Groin Shave Reveal is startling, and by Startling I mean vomit inducing. That revolting practice alone could earn him a Douchey.

As far as the rest of your screde, please. You say that as a means of reinforcing your own self worth. At the end of the day none of us could give a rat's ass about Alex's Adventures in Doucheland. Although, to be honest, I would love to sit in when he tells his grandkids about the time he downed two bottles of Gray Goose and f*cked four hot chicks, all in one night. That is a legacy worth passing on to future generations.

That said, see you and your boy next week for the monthly.
 
178
 
^I'm coming for you, wow.
 
Hey Z, he's only living YOUR fantasy, loser.
 
http://www.mjmmfg.com/management.php
 
Anonymous said...
Apparently Charlie, you're as smart as the douchebags pictured here.

People who don't care about "grammer" are usually incapable of grasping simple concepts like "addition."


aww im sorry i dont care about the proper spelling on a blog from a website called hotchickswithdouchebags.com,,, shouldnt you be creating some algorithms or something
 
samurai scrote laughs at the piddly length of this douche's comments thread.
 
Oh how I wish she wouldn't have spoken. She's very attractive but dumb as a pineapple. Bummer.
 
Alex likes long walks on the beach with all the flames on S. Beach
 
Yeah, Josephine isn't nearly as hot as her sister on the other side. The two blondes ain't so bad, either.

Oh, and Bags, if I can call you that, and if you're still reading this, would you do me the great of honor of trying to gag Josephine with your 2" dick? kthnxbai.
 
A little birdie told me to say something cute about all those birds on Bagpoleon's drawers.

There, he's been TWEETED.
 
nice hat, peck.
 
Last
 
You fags couldn't get half the pussy that kid pulls... You boys jerk off to internet porn and have girlfriends in Second Life. Now go get your shine box.
 
DR ARAB GUY, (YEA YOU HASAN MALIK MOHAMMAD)
DONT GET PISSED OF AT THE WORLD LIKE THE REST OF YOUR FAMILY AND START BLOWING YOURSELF UP. AT LEAST MY FANTASY ISNT DEATH WITH THE IDEA OF A GOOD NIGHT CUDDLE WITH 70 MALE VIRGINS. YOURE PROBABLY SOME PISSED OFF LITTLE FAT DUDE LACKING LENGTH IN HAIR...AMONG OTHER THINGS. SO CONTINUE LIVING ON YOUR LIFE AS LONG AS POSSIBLE BEHIND THAT COMPUTER SCREEN WITH SOME CHAFFED COCK IN HAND.
 
DR ARAB GUY, (YEA YOU HASAN MALIK MOHAMMAD)
DONT GET PISSED OF AT THE WORLD LIKE THE REST OF YOUR FAMILY AND START BLOWING YOURSELF UP. AT LEAST MY FANTASY ISNT DEATH WITH THE IDEA OF A GOOD NIGHT CUDDLE WITH 70 MALE VIRGINS. YOURE PROBABLY SOME PISSED OFF LITTLE FAT DUDE LACKING LENGTH IN HAIR...AMONG OTHER THINGS. SO CONTINUE LIVING ON YOUR LIFE AS LONG AS POSSIBLE BEHIND THAT COMPUTER SCREEN WITH SOME CHAFFED COCK IN HAND.
 
Keep the darn Fort Hood thing out of here, this thread isn't about that.
 
Nice of Bagpoleon to step on a stool and Josephine to kneel down for that picture. Lovely. Classy.
 
One po-choda, two po-choda, three po-choda, four...
 
@ Spiny Norman 7:09

Monty Python fan much? DINSDALE!!!!
 
YEAHHHH WOOO HOOO YOU I WANT TO THANK YOU ALL FOR MAKING ME FEEL SO GOOD ABOUT MYSELF...

YEAH THAT ME THE DOUCHEBAG IN THE FEDORA!!!! REMEMBER IT!

YOU TOOLS MADE MY DAY!!! LOOK FOR ME AS THE HAMBURGLAR IN THE LIVE ACTION MCDONALD'S MOVIE THIS FALL AS DIRECTED BY MICHAEL BAY OR AT YOUR LOCAL LOWE'S AS STOCK BOY 34567.

I AT 5 EVEN NOT 4'9" AS SOME HAVE SPECULATED.
 
I can't believe I missed it. Great beat down baghunters.
 
I still want to see the four hotts here naked, even though their male friends here aren't on Fish Slap's level of douchosity. The guys are still in the way.

Yes.
 
Aaaaaand.....200.

Next page!
 
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