Fine, I'll go there:

They should have written, "Ryan and Reed peed here."
 

O brave new world! That has such people in it!
 

Aw, how cute! Date rape is always so adorable.
 

Seriously. I have to amplify this tone-deaf, drunk skank mutilating "I Will Survive," which ain't that great of a song to begin with, and then I have to witness this shit.

Please, for the love of Xenu, somebody drop me into a bathtub. Preferably with one or all three of these human stains already in the water.
 

Some would say that there is a small box of Nerd’s, hidden within the innermost recesses of her poop-mill, pining to be consumed by my famished tongue.

Those people would be wrong, of course… though I would not dare lambast them for such carnal thoughts.

Nay, I would merely inform them that I would snort those Nerd’s, one by one, until my sinuses bespoke of the apple and lemonade delights that were dispensed by the handy, dual-flavored box.
 

I would have written:

“The acne scars on this derriere are the oiled chalices into which I poured my seed.”

But then again, that is why I was never in a fraternity.
 

I feel for this girl. The exact same thing happened to me at my 12th birthday party. Only difference is the names.

I had "Dad and Gramps were here" written on my ass.
 

Let us not forget, pink triangle does not guarantee hott-ness.
 

This picture is the perfect commentary on western society.
 

Gosh.. I luv how clever frat boys can be. This is why I always wind up like this girl at the parties I attend.

Except wait.. I don't hang out with d-bags. Come back to the light passed out sororstitute! You can get drunk with nice people instead!
 

A mattress on the floor of an all white apartment room, two balloons of different sizes, and a surprised looking karaoke robot looking on in horror of the events that are about to ensue.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is art.
 

Who peed where?
 

Not cool, fratboys.
 

This make Hulk angry! Smash fratbag heads! Me take Kimmy to IHOP to sober up with strong coffee and Denver Omlette!
 

So who's the tranny in purple?
 

Forwarding this photo to the FBI facial recognition database.


Maybe someone will write on Ryan & Reed's butts with a sharpie when they're in a Federal pound-you-in-the-ass Prison.
 

Two 'bags and some pink.

...none in the stink.
 

One can only hope that immediately after this picture was taken, she sharted...
 

Yes, her sisters will be very impressed that you humiliated their friend like that. Go directly past scrote and 'bag to lowlife sacks of shit.
 

unconsciousness, as the result of intoxication or otherwise, renders that girl incapable of giving consent to sex.

Congrats fratbags, you have just admitted to committing rape.

When she wakes in the morning feeling a little tender in the crotch and sick to her stomach, I hope she tells the biggest, angriest cop she can find.

God I hate frat fucks

_Douchesquire_
 

@_Douchesquire_, 12:54 p.m. -

".....I hope she tells the biggest, angriest cop she can find."

Here's hoping she also refers to him as "Daddy." Because you know he has friends and how to "get around" certain laws.
 

Just another reminder of why little Wedgette will be attending convent school.

Of course, that only changes the sign on her ass to "Sister Mary Margaret was here".
 

Maybe that is their mother, and they are only stating the obvious?
 

Maybe they handmade her underwear and gave them to her as a birthday present?
 

Exhibit "A" in Ryan and Reed's trial.

Fast-forward 3 months.
Interior shot: Rahway State Prison.

We see Ryan and Reed, wishing they were passed out, each with "Bubba and Flyteeth waz here" written on their collective asses.

The circle of life continues . . .
 

Looks like it says: Ryan peed We're Here

Perhaps neither of these fine fellows are Ryan or the fictional Reed but rather members of the upstanding and dutiful University of Miami police detectives unit. Having been properly trained by watching the first three seasons of CSI: Duke University, they are utilizing their tongues as urine/semen swabs and will painstakingly collect samples in their half empty bottles and cups.

It will be Zack, the cagey and challenging rookie cop known or wearing his cap backwards who will note that Ryan also brutally removed the victim's salmon colored breast implants. Given that they were not even remotely the same size, if Ryan is ever found and put to trial, this may convince the judge to go easy on him.

You can run Ryan, and you can pee in a woman's butt, but you can't hide.
 

Upon closer inspection it appears to say Ryan Reed We're Here.

'Cuz being a horrible drunk, it was impossible for Ryan to remember where he left his semen and his dorm keys unless he left himself a little note.
 

A small camera was located serriptitiously in the hole in the wall, which can be seen above the ballons.
It was able to record who really made sweet love in that room.
 

Love the pinky extension on hat-tilt fratbag. That will make your cell mate even happier bout the man pussy he pounds in the shower.
 

Hmmm... what are the elements of simple battery again? Any form of non-consensual harmful or insulting contact, without regard to injury caused?

Gentlemen, when perpetrating a crime, please consider not taking pictures of yourself. As for the civil implications of this, consider yourselves totally fucked.
 

Well Hell, I think it actually says Ryan Feed, We're Here, which brings us right back around to Nerds.

Which, ipso facto (always wanted to say that) points the finger at…[sudden, intense exclamatory musical refrain]…Crucial Head!

Crucial Head is Ryan!

You bastard!
 

Gentlemen...pretty pink panties. PRETTY PINK PANTIES! What the hell are you doing?
 

"sharpie"

om nom nom. this lovely black-out-drunk lady has a nice ass and cute panties
 

@Anon^

Based on the photographic evidence, I'm not certain they started out pink, and if that's the case, pretty isn't a word I would use to describe them.

Maybe "crusty"

Or "be sodden"

Or "corrupted"

Or "desecrated"

Or "violated"

Yeah, I'd go with "violated"

Guys, look at the violated panties, the violated panties
 

Dude with the beer is either aristocracy or flashing the shocker at the same time...
 

Alcahol poisoning, matress on the floor, passed-out drunk chick, ballons, plastic cups, borderline rape and karaoke.

All that's missing is taser arrest and vomit, and you've got all the elements of the perfect white-trash weekend.
 

Hm. I'm torn on how to feel about this one.

As a former serious career alcoholic(tm), I don't have a lot of sympathy for girls who drink themselves into this state of helplessness, particularly when surrounded by immature twits who seek only to exploit others for their own gain.

I did this quite often myself, once or twice waking up to something much worse than someone writing on my ass with a Sharpie. But, it never taught me a lesson, instead carrying on until I was so physically and emotionally ill that I was forced to quit, as I could no longer afford a gun with which to do myself in.

That being said, I'm pretty sure this is merely a prank and they weren't actually "here". It is crass and humiliating, but, that's what Frat life is all about, and those who partake put themselves at risk. I'm all about personal responsibility. Really, look at these toadstools. Could we actually expect them to pull her dress down, cover her with a blankie and put a glass of water and two aspirin near her head for the morning? She's lucky this isn't a photo of a sword fight in her mouth.

Either way, Jessica, I really hope this is a one-time thing. It's just humiliating pranks when the guys are 22, it's grievous bodily harm when the guys are 32 and they know what they can get away with.


On the flip side, if I were the camera man, I would take the pic with pleasure. That way neither one could scramble their drunk asses to their feet before they both got a steel-toe to the temple.
 

That's a man, baby!
 

These fucking pieces of scum should die in the most horrible way possible. "It's just a couple of douches having fun." No it isn't. It is two masses of putrescence who think they can treat women this way. Who has taught them that this behavior is ever acceptable? I don't care that she's drunk and passed out. It is NEVER cool to do this. If it was one of their butt buddies, then I wouldn't care. Why? Because one of their "friends" has the opportunity to settle the score by beating the shit out of them. Her only recourse (depending on what happened) is to take them to court. And then she'll be made out to be the biggest slut in the world. Who cares if she is? I'd love to take a number 0 fish hook and slide it through both of their scrotums and then drag them down the bumpiest unpaved road I can find for about 50 miles. If anything was left, then I'd take it to the cops. Why so sensitive Dr. HoneyDouche? Because I know someone who was raped and it started out even more "innocent" than this.

Thanks for spinning me up on another rant DB1.
 

The only thing I can add is if I ever caught up with them, I'd take Sad Party Karaoke Robot and smash them both repeatedly in the head with it. They deserve slow, painful ass-raping by the Queen of Cell Block D.

-Douche Bauer
 

Holy fuck, lighten up guys. I've got a whole stack of these from my little sister's pajama parties. It's amazing how much Jäger a 12 year old can put away.
 

Pivotal scene from Horton Hears a Whore.
 

I have to agree with Dr. HoneyDouche and others. These guys are low grade trash at its worst. Just being drunk doesn't deserve this. DB1, I would ask that you pull this pic. Hotts, bleeths, guidos, choads, etc. are all fair game, but this ain't right. This is the first pic I've seen here that makes me uneasy, and that takes a lot.
 

It's possible the frat bags were both ex bf's of the passed out chick at some stage.

It's also possible they're just goofing around and all they've done is lift up her dress and write on her leg.

Stupid behavior, yes. But too many in here are rushing to judgment on what they 'might've done'.
 

Come on, this is in very poor taste, joke (I hope) or not. Fragbags are one thing, rape is something else altogether. This ought to come down, DB.
 

Very funny guys, very funny. Hilarious. Can't stop laughing. Seriously, why don't y'all go play in traffic?
 

that's grounds for murder on episodes of law and order... good luck, boys.
 

Wait a minute! Are we sure that she is a real person and not a RealDoll? Look at that charger. Looks like she's rechargeable...
 

But in all seriousness, Ryan & Reed, I hoped you guys enjoyed that prank because it's all downhill from here...
 

assuming they just set up the scene for the picture... it's still assault.

I'm normally a 'turn the other cheek' kind of guy (no pun intended) but seriously, in all seriousness, I hope someone actually kills Ryan and Reed.
 

I hope this whole consent thing doesn't extend to livestock. If so, I'll have to restructure my entire sex life.
 

I'm with Honeydouche and a couple others on this one. This pic makes me queasy.

Not amusing.

Not funny.

Not that I don't have a warped, snarky sense of humor. I do.

But I, too, have a close friend who got slipped roofies in a drink at a "safe" house party and was raped by two guys. One was HIV-positive. It was a miracle that no infection resulted.

I also politely request that the pic come down, DB1.
 

Sadly, Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum didn't realize that sweet Polly Purebred's fiance would be returning home from Afghanistan within 36 hours. Best of luck dodging an irate Force Recon Marine and his squad.

(sadly the last time I recall hearing about a woman marked up like this she'd been boozed out of her mind, then gang raped, sharpied, and dumped sans clothing on another frat's doorstep @ 5am. classy guys, those Pikes.)
 

Well damn, you could at least have left Sad Party Karaoke Robot...
 

Good idea, Anony. Sad Party Karaoke Robot deserves to be seen.

- management
 

===== NEW DISCUSSION TOPIC =====



Now, is SPKR ("Speaker"?) a 'bag? A douche accessory? Will it become ubiquitous?
 

Sad Karaoke Robot cries salty fuccen tears of censorship.
 

I totally didn't even get to see the original, god.
http://ihatejade.com/?id=7in962sexy2rqfgkifo7yrkkp1aovy Revenge!
 

Sad Robot?

Looks more scared to me. Kinda like what's that kid - Home Alone with the face. Yeah, douchekid.
 

Good call.

Douche on.
 

Next on HCwDb: The Queaze Squad tars and feathers The regular commentor that goes by the name of RAPETIME, then puts micturation enthusiast Mr. White against the wall.

Burdizzo Jones got away though.
 

SAD PARTY KARAOKE SAD PARTY KARAOKE ROBOT WAS HERE
 

in completely unrelated news, i present you with Sharpie raiders.
 

Man, I'd so hammer those pink pan-

What? That's it? Aw man. Fine. I'm going home.
 

FUCK FISH SLAP!
 

Fuck ME!
 

To Southern:

Don't ask me how I came up with that.